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  • FIRST POST
    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 3rd May 18, 8:50 AM
    • 5,081Posts
    • 45,264Thanks
    crazy_cat_lady
    Crazy Cat Lady Chapter 3 - A New Beginning
    • #1
    • 3rd May 18, 8:50 AM
    Crazy Cat Lady Chapter 3 - A New Beginning 3rd May 18 at 8:50 AM
    Good morning everyone,

    I've had a bit of a break from the forums over the past couple of months, but today seems like a good time to come back on here and to start a new diary. An awful lot has changed in my life over the past couple of weeks and it's going to take some time and effort to adjust, and more than ever I need the support and accountability of being on here to keep me on the straight and narrow as far as my finances are concerned.
    I hope that some of my usual bunch have followed me to this diary, and welcome to anyone new that might be reading. I need all of the help and support that I can get...
    NST October #11 nsd = 5
    I am honestly trying my best
Page 71
    • f0xh0les
    • By f0xh0les 13th Jun 19, 6:23 PM
    • 2,544 Posts
    • 23,506 Thanks
    f0xh0les
    When you finally are rid of the twit, we are having a party!!
    If he gets himself arrested, at least the solicitor will know where he is. Don't suppose you could ask for a two-fer at court?
    Sorry. Chin up! Keep going. Four weeks left of term!

    Some stuff you can control, this is not really one of them.


    Have you spoken to yr mortgage company about your divorce and that he is no longer resident and you will need his name taken off eventually? Just remember to do this when you are finally free of all this......


    If you split up with someone you've had joint finances with, once your finances are no longer linked, write to the credit reference agencies and ask for a notice of disassociation. You can also call up or find the forms online.

    This will stop their credit history affecting yours in the future. However, the agencies say they can't do this if you still have a joint account open with the ex. The account will need to be closed or transferred to an individual account before you can do it. For example, a joint loan would have to be paid off before a notice be given.
    Last edited by f0xh0les; 13-06-2019 at 6:55 PM.
    MFW5/16 118,340 10/17109,49 12/17 108,8 1/18 108,33/18 108,5 4/18108,1 5/18106,9 6/18105,9, 7/18105,3 8/18103,9 9/18102,9 10/18101,9 11/18101,3 12/18100,7 1/19 99,999 2/19 99,500 1/3 98,91/4 98,5 1/5 97,9 1/6 97,5 1/7 96,9. 1/8 96,500 1/9 95,970.00 1/10 95,500 MFW 2019 #65
    L&C Referal code- https://referme.to/GNNHtJo
    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 14th Jun 19, 10:27 AM
    • 5,081 Posts
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    crazy_cat_lady
    Morning all
    Well the last science exam has just finished and our Year 11 are officially on their way to the next thing in their lives. I liked this year group and I'll miss them - just have to look forward to Prom now. I get a couple of extra hours of free time at school now and I already have lots to do to fill that up. However, the marking load will ramp up substantially. One more month to go then that will be it for another year - and the long wait into August.
    There has been no word on ex - not from him, police, hospital or anyone else. My solicitor replied to my email saying it will be difficult to serve papers on him if we don't know where he is so this could lead to further delays (and obviously the associated expense that comes with it). Still feel like crying if I think about it for too long - so I won't. Withregards to joint finances - there is only the mortgage - which is what we are currently going to court over, so until that's done then we're stuck together whether I like it or not (and I don't). But I know I'm doing everything that I can to make sure I do it right and do it efficiently.
    DD gets back from France today - I've missed her and am looking forward to seeing her. I expect she's starving as she's really hated the food over there. Hope that she's managed to enjoy some of the other stuff though (and even more hopeful that she might bring me some money back...)
    Right, I'm going to make a start then.
    NST October #11 nsd = 5
    I am honestly trying my best
    • foxgloves
    • By foxgloves 14th Jun 19, 7:35 PM
    • 5,320 Posts
    • 31,977 Thanks
    foxgloves
    It's just infuriating, CCL. Very difficult to get the necessary closure with the legal stuff dragging on. Where the debt is concerned, I think all you can do is damage limitation.....as in work on the aspects which are within your control, like grocery budget, not frittering on avoidable purchases, keeping bills down. There's a fair bit here, money wise, which just isn't within your control. I hate situations I have no control over & I do feel for you. I think your ex is pretty much out of options, so I can't imagine what he thinks he will gain by not engaging with the legal process at this stage, even if just to recover a shred of self-respect. What a nightmare situation.
    X
    Money can't jump out of your purse on its own so ask 'Can I borrow one, make one, grow one, bake one, re-purpose or recycle, acquire it for free?' Yes? Then put that purse away & keep your money because little savings
    Payment received from surveys: 2015 = 320 2016 = 210 2017 = 304 2018 = 418 2019 = 217
    • f0xh0les
    • By f0xh0les 15th Jun 19, 3:05 PM
    • 2,544 Posts
    • 23,506 Thanks
    f0xh0les
    My solicitor replied to my email saying it will be difficult to serve papers on him if we don't know where he is so this could lead to further delays (and obviously the associated expense that comes with it).
    Originally posted by crazy_cat_lady

    Well in that case, a custodial sentence would be the best all round outcome. Blimey that sounds harsh, even for me!
    MFW5/16 118,340 10/17109,49 12/17 108,8 1/18 108,33/18 108,5 4/18108,1 5/18106,9 6/18105,9, 7/18105,3 8/18103,9 9/18102,9 10/18101,9 11/18101,3 12/18100,7 1/19 99,999 2/19 99,500 1/3 98,91/4 98,5 1/5 97,9 1/6 97,5 1/7 96,9. 1/8 96,500 1/9 95,970.00 1/10 95,500 MFW 2019 #65
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    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 15th Jun 19, 4:04 PM
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    crazy_cat_lady
    Quick check in as I'm way too busy with exam stuff to even think about a proper update.
    However, got a phone call from bestie while I was out this morning saying ex had just been outside her house in a car - drove away when she saw him. FFS!
    NST October #11 nsd = 5
    I am honestly trying my best
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 15th Jun 19, 7:24 PM
    • 66,991 Posts
    • 303,206 Thanks
    beanielou
    Where on earth did he get the car.
    This is worrying about the car & him stalking someone you know
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14. MFW. 17 months to mortgage freedom.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~**
    **Weight loss 2 stone 11 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.***
    ***Keep plodding***
    Out of debt, out of danger. ***Be the difference.***
    • trix-a-belle
    • By trix-a-belle 15th Jun 19, 8:21 PM
    • 964 Posts
    • 4,481 Thanks
    trix-a-belle
    Where on earth did he get the car.
    This is worrying about the car & him stalking someone you know
    Originally posted by beanielou
    i'd guess its still the hire car that he shouldn't have beanie, & hes actually looking for CCL/the kids (knows their frequent patterns?)

    don't fret hun, crack on with the exam stuff, I wish I had your dedication to get my deadlines done xx
    - Mortgage: 1st one down, 2nd: 114800 86k
    - Student Loan: 7100 0!
    Swagbucks, Mingle, GiffGaff, Prolific, Qmee & Quidco; thank you MSE every little bit helps
    MFiT-T5 knocking down the mortgage to be freeee
    • janb5
    • By janb5 15th Jun 19, 9:12 PM
    • 1,968 Posts
    • 7,155 Thanks
    janb5
    Could you let the police know and get your bestie to update them too?

    I just wanted to say that I`ve read most of the thread and am totally in awe of how you are coping with everything.

    I also wanted to let you know that my aunt passed on some great advice when I was going through my divorce in that you can contact your union and they will put through to an advice line when you need legal advice and it`s free. HTH.
    • Buffythedebtslayer
    • By Buffythedebtslayer 15th Jun 19, 9:24 PM
    • 15,923 Posts
    • 55,450 Thanks
    Buffythedebtslayer
    You are amazing really CCL.

    I do think you should inform the police tho.

    sending you love XX
    Debt Free as of 26/07/19 (third time is the charm!) Now paying myself back all my savings! Target 1= 4981/5000 (across all accounts) Avoiding the CC!
    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 15th Jun 19, 10:10 PM
    • 5,081 Posts
    • 45,264 Thanks
    crazy_cat_lady
    There's been no sign of him at all - I went to bestie's this afternoon for a quick coffee and catch up and she said he looks like a tramp. It will still be the hire car I assume, just thought that the police might have caught up with him by now. I could report it, but it's a bit useless now - hours after the event. It is all a bit unnerving though - my bestie lives in a cul-de-sac so he really had no excuse to be there at all. It's not a place he would be driving by.
    I've worked really hard all night with exam stuff and am still less than half way through the to-do list. But I have very few plans for tomorrow other than a quick visit to my dad and being paranoid about what might be going on with ex so randomly checking outside every hour or so. I can't believe that he turned up at her house like that.
    Last edited by crazy_cat_lady; 15-06-2019 at 10:15 PM.
    NST October #11 nsd = 5
    I am honestly trying my best
    • Buffythedebtslayer
    • By Buffythedebtslayer 15th Jun 19, 10:14 PM
    • 15,923 Posts
    • 55,450 Thanks
    Buffythedebtslayer
    It does suck that he is being such a prat. I really hope the police found him and he is arrested for essentially nicking the hire car...
    Debt Free as of 26/07/19 (third time is the charm!) Now paying myself back all my savings! Target 1= 4981/5000 (across all accounts) Avoiding the CC!
    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 15th Jun 19, 10:15 PM
    • 5,081 Posts
    • 45,264 Thanks
    crazy_cat_lady
    P.S. DD came back with 88 Euros out of the 100 I gave her. I'm so proud to have instilled some frugal values into her. Just wondering what to do with them now...
    PPS Hey janb5 I've gotten loads of good advice from the union so far. I just really wish things weren't dragging out like this.
    PPPS This diary is massive now - I don't half go on. Wonder if I should start a new one? Might wait until the finances are sorted and make it a proper start debt busting diary.
    NST October #11 nsd = 5
    I am honestly trying my best
    • janb5
    • By janb5 16th Jun 19, 10:40 AM
    • 1,968 Posts
    • 7,155 Thanks
    janb5
    CCL...I`m a fellow Geordie but down south now. I must admit I didnt believe my aunt when she told me to get advice re the union but was proved wrong.....again!

    On reflection do report this incident to the police. They do need to know and actually there is no decent explanation why he was in this cul de sac . Why should your bestie be worried by him? He`s probably thinking he will be less conspicuous there!
    • SpekySquarehead
    • By SpekySquarehead 17th Jun 19, 7:23 AM
    • 2,765 Posts
    • 23,154 Thanks
    SpekySquarehead
    Hey CCL.

    I say stick with the same diary. It's nice to have it all in the one place and you can refer back too. Keep on keeping on.
    Debt Free Date: 29/09/16

    Follow my diary HERE
    • CCW007
    • By CCW007 17th Jun 19, 4:27 PM
    • 69 Posts
    • 273 Thanks
    CCW007
    Oh my word CCL, just been catching up, what a time of it you are having. Sending you best wishes that things are resolved soon x
    • MeandO
    • By MeandO 17th Jun 19, 6:57 PM
    • 1,803 Posts
    • 9,200 Thanks
    MeandO
    What a nightmare you've having CCL. I echo what others have said and perhaps a phonemail to the police would be a good idea, at least then they know what area he is in.

    Sending you lots of love and hugs and hope things get better soon xx
    Mortgage @ March 2019: 107K Now: 102,999
    Mortgage OP's 2019: 1581.78/1800
    EF: 2400 H2S: 900
    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 17th Jun 19, 8:49 PM
    • 5,081 Posts
    • 45,264 Thanks
    crazy_cat_lady
    Evening
    What a busy time. I'm currently still juggling 4 different papers - or I was. Just finished one and I expect to finish the second one tomorrow at the latest. Feels like I'm finally starting to get somewhere. Mind you - there's still one paper to go so I'm not quite done yet.
    No word from or sight of ex, but I am still very cautious and on edge about stuff.
    Nothing much to report. Still got no money, still got no time and still no progress on the financial front. I'm really hoping that the exam people start paying me soon as things are looking very scary on the money front.
    Work is busier than it should be considering year 11 are gone. I have a lot of assessments there to mark, reports to write - plus I've had a lot of my year 11 time filled up with other stuff that needs to be done. Ugh. Just keep plodding on...
    NST October #11 nsd = 5
    I am honestly trying my best
    • SpekySquarehead
    • By SpekySquarehead 18th Jun 19, 7:17 AM
    • 2,765 Posts
    • 23,154 Thanks
    SpekySquarehead
    Forgive me, for I can't remember but are you still using YNAB?

    When moneys super tight (and even when I was in debt) YNAB gave me peace of mind knowing that the important things were being taken care of. Helped lighten the mental load.
    Debt Free Date: 29/09/16

    Follow my diary HERE
    • f0xh0les
    • By f0xh0les 18th Jun 19, 10:13 AM
    • 2,544 Posts
    • 23,506 Thanks
    f0xh0les
    Is it too soon to say

    'only 18 school days left to go!!'?

    The end is in sight.
    MFW5/16 118,340 10/17109,49 12/17 108,8 1/18 108,33/18 108,5 4/18108,1 5/18106,9 6/18105,9, 7/18105,3 8/18103,9 9/18102,9 10/18101,9 11/18101,3 12/18100,7 1/19 99,999 2/19 99,500 1/3 98,91/4 98,5 1/5 97,9 1/6 97,5 1/7 96,9. 1/8 96,500 1/9 95,970.00 1/10 95,500 MFW 2019 #65
    L&C Referal code- https://referme.to/GNNHtJo
    • foxgloves
    • By foxgloves 18th Jun 19, 3:11 PM
    • 5,320 Posts
    • 31,977 Thanks
    foxgloves
    Gosh, you sound so busy with all the marking, CCL. More than halfway through June, though.....summer solstice at the weekend, so the end of term is hoving nicely into view. I know you'll keep plodding on, then you can decide what you might like to do with the extra leisure time......I know lots of sleep while covered in snoozy cats is a cert!
    F x
    Money can't jump out of your purse on its own so ask 'Can I borrow one, make one, grow one, bake one, re-purpose or recycle, acquire it for free?' Yes? Then put that purse away & keep your money because little savings
    Payment received from surveys: 2015 = 320 2016 = 210 2017 = 304 2018 = 418 2019 = 217
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