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  • FIRST POST
    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 3rd May 18, 9:50 AM
    • 4,118Posts
    • 35,231Thanks
    crazy_cat_lady
    Crazy Cat Lady Chapter 3 - A New Beginning
    • #1
    • 3rd May 18, 9:50 AM
    Crazy Cat Lady Chapter 3 - A New Beginning 3rd May 18 at 9:50 AM
    Good morning everyone,

    I've had a bit of a break from the forums over the past couple of months, but today seems like a good time to come back on here and to start a new diary. An awful lot has changed in my life over the past couple of weeks and it's going to take some time and effort to adjust, and more than ever I need the support and accountability of being on here to keep me on the straight and narrow as far as my finances are concerned.
    I hope that some of my usual bunch have followed me to this diary, and welcome to anyone new that might be reading. I need all of the help and support that I can get...
    November in NY #20 NSD = 7 1 debt vs 100 days 328.51/1685
    DFD #1: 6 Nov 15 - paid 28,447
Page 5
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 16th May 18, 9:23 PM
    • 57,965 Posts
    • 238,412 Thanks
    beanielou
    Something to look forward too
    Good news on the cat
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 12 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.***
    ***Keep plodding***
    Out of debt, out of danger. MFW 2018. No 144
    • erin_transport
    • By erin_transport 16th May 18, 9:55 PM
    • 679 Posts
    • 2,839 Thanks
    erin_transport
    Yay! Great decision!!
    On a mission!

    2018 MFW #138
    • Buffythedebtslayer
    • By Buffythedebtslayer 16th May 18, 9:57 PM
    • 15,336 Posts
    • 51,357 Thanks
    Buffythedebtslayer
    The holiday is genius. Good plan.

    xxx
    Frugal Living Challenge, Pound a Day challenge, Sealed Pot Challenge Debt 4990 (March)
    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 17th May 18, 10:09 PM
    • 4,118 Posts
    • 35,231 Thanks
    crazy_cat_lady
    Evening all

    How late is this check in? I had planned such a relaxing evening. Check in on here, wash the dishes, put some washing in and crochet.
    Got home to a couple of surprise parcels waiting sent by my lovely mam. A new tv and stand for it. Oh my goodness! It's huge (43") and new, and clear all ultra HD and everything. Amazing, and really not something that I would ever have bought for myself - but she's insisted I deserve a treat. Even after I told her about the holiday. Unfortunately it took me over 3 hours to put the flat pack tv unit together and set the tv up so it was after 9 before I even got to sit down, but I've just watched 'ambulance' in very high definition. I never thought that I was a telly snob but this is brilliant!
    In slightly less positive news, the chemistry exam was tough. Very little that I expected turned up on the paper and there were just hundreds of questions about metals. I'm a bit disappointed but I think if my lot found it difficult then it was genuinely difficult because I have some incredible kids in my class.
    No time for any crochet tonight - I've set up the tv, watched 1 programme and now I really need to go to bed.
    November in NY #20 NSD = 7 1 debt vs 100 days 328.51/1685
    DFD #1: 6 Nov 15 - paid 28,447
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 17th May 18, 10:12 PM
    • 57,965 Posts
    • 238,412 Thanks
    beanielou
    Fab news on the TV
    Enjoy
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 12 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.***
    ***Keep plodding***
    Out of debt, out of danger. MFW 2018. No 144
    • apple muncher
    • By apple muncher 18th May 18, 7:18 AM
    • 7,911 Posts
    • 59,913 Thanks
    apple muncher
    Your holiday sounds amazing!

    Yay to your mam!
    NST November New Yorker #8; NSD 8/15; Ex 6/21 ; craft 42 (196); remove 16 (653)
    2018 Pay off: 4509; 2
    018 sell 55.10; WLOSW 3/10

    Mortgage 18,634 (01/14: 78,201; 01/15: 59,629; 01/16: 39,915; 01/17: 27,295; 01/18 23,143) MFWDate Dec 2018
    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 19th May 18, 1:19 PM
    • 4,118 Posts
    • 35,231 Thanks
    crazy_cat_lady
    I haven't left.
    Exam marking is on, among other things. I'm just on my way out to catch up with a couple of old friends I haven't seen in ages, but I'll be back later for a proper check in.
    November in NY #20 NSD = 7 1 debt vs 100 days 328.51/1685
    DFD #1: 6 Nov 15 - paid 28,447
    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 19th May 18, 5:45 PM
    • 4,118 Posts
    • 35,231 Thanks
    crazy_cat_lady
    Hi everyone

    I'm back. It's been lovely catching up with friends this afternoon - I definitely don't do enough of that. Now though I need to get back on with exam stuff. I need to manage my time at this time of year as there's lots going on.

    My mood isn't good today though - I feel quite anxious unfortunately. Don't know what I'm so worried about, except my extraordinary lack of cash. I spent 84 on grocery shopping last night, plus the car needed fuel this morning as well. And dd needed a couple of summer tops - bless her she got them from Primarni but I could have used another couple of months to put some money aside. I'm also worrying about going to London next week - not that I'm worried about being there, but it seems such a big deal for bestie to look after my kids for 3 days for me. It's all really new and a bit scary I suppose. I feel like I need a really good long chat and get everything off my chest, but it was a big group thing today, and on top of that I didn't get to see bestie either so didn't get my usual cuppa and catch up.

    Right. Time to get back on with some work...
    November in NY #20 NSD = 7 1 debt vs 100 days 328.51/1685
    DFD #1: 6 Nov 15 - paid 28,447
    • apple muncher
    • By apple muncher 19th May 18, 8:02 PM
    • 7,911 Posts
    • 59,913 Thanks
    apple muncher
    In your head, you know that bestie is well able to look after your children. And your children are well able to ask for what they need. But it is the first time you have left them with her for 3 days. And therefore it is new and scary. It will be fine. And you will be able to focus on the London stuff. Hang in there! x
    NST November New Yorker #8; NSD 8/15; Ex 6/21 ; craft 42 (196); remove 16 (653)
    2018 Pay off: 4509; 2
    018 sell 55.10; WLOSW 3/10

    Mortgage 18,634 (01/14: 78,201; 01/15: 59,629; 01/16: 39,915; 01/17: 27,295; 01/18 23,143) MFWDate Dec 2018
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 19th May 18, 8:21 PM
    • 57,965 Posts
    • 238,412 Thanks
    beanielou
    It will be fine
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 12 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.***
    ***Keep plodding***
    Out of debt, out of danger. MFW 2018. No 144
    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 20th May 18, 4:45 PM
    • 4,118 Posts
    • 35,231 Thanks
    crazy_cat_lady
    Hey
    Just taking a quick break from exam stuff to catch up on here. Thanks apple and beanie for the reassurance. I know bestie will be fine, and the kids will also be fine - but 3 days just seems like a big ask, even for a bestie. And yes, I would do it for her in the reverse situation - I guess I'm just not used to asking for a lot of help in that way.

    I'm really, really tired today - I heard ds up and about at half past four this morning and I really struggled to get back to sleep. Thankfully it's been quite a quiet day - I've done my tutoring, and my daily quota of exam marking. I just need to finish my house jobs - hoovering is done, dishes are done, washing is in progress. Need to sort out money for the kids for the week ahead and really think about getting a head start on my packing for going to London on Wednesday. If I do it in a rush I will end up forgetting something, or thinking that I'm forgetting something. Far better to start a list, and add things to the bag a bit at a time. I like a good list.

    NSD today, thank goodness - in fact I've managed to make a bit of money from my tutoring. Good job as this trip is looming... 11 days till payday.
    November in NY #20 NSD = 7 1 debt vs 100 days 328.51/1685
    DFD #1: 6 Nov 15 - paid 28,447
    • apple muncher
    • By apple muncher 20th May 18, 7:44 PM
    • 7,911 Posts
    • 59,913 Thanks
    apple muncher
    You have lived with such tension for so long, that you are bound to be exhausted from it now that it has reduced. Keep breathing - s l o w l y.

    Hope Lunnon is interesting.
    NST November New Yorker #8; NSD 8/15; Ex 6/21 ; craft 42 (196); remove 16 (653)
    2018 Pay off: 4509; 2
    018 sell 55.10; WLOSW 3/10

    Mortgage 18,634 (01/14: 78,201; 01/15: 59,629; 01/16: 39,915; 01/17: 27,295; 01/18 23,143) MFWDate Dec 2018
    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 21st May 18, 2:17 PM
    • 4,118 Posts
    • 35,231 Thanks
    crazy_cat_lady
    So last night was really interesting. My husband turned up at the door randomly at about 6pm. I think he genuinely thought that if he'd hidden for long enough then he would come back and all would be forgiven and life would carry on as normal. He has spent the last of his money and now has no money and no place to stay. I felt really horrible kicking him out again at 8 but I'm not backing down. I did offer to take him to hospital and sit until he'd had a psychiatric assessment, I also offered to go to the council so he could declare himself homeless, and I even suggested that he ring my dad. He just kept saying no.
    As a result my mood is all over the place again today and I have been really tearful. I don't know where he ended up - I just know that I can't have him back home, and that he is still refusing every offer of help that I give him. I just desperately want to move on with my life, and for him to move on with his life instead of running away and hiding.
    More later - I'm at work at the moment.
    November in NY #20 NSD = 7 1 debt vs 100 days 328.51/1685
    DFD #1: 6 Nov 15 - paid 28,447
    • Eager_Elephant
    • By Eager_Elephant 21st May 18, 8:50 PM
    • 4,488 Posts
    • 26,113 Thanks
    Eager_Elephant
    (((CCL))

    Hope you managed to get through the working day,

    Its so difficult when you have been married for so long but there is only so much you can put up with.

    I am lucky that my WS has the income to private rent and a very good boss if money needed to be borrowed.
    Tonight WS has announced how much he is looking forward to living on his own and also how house proud he is going to be - shame he wasn't ever house proud in this home!!!
    Ninja Saving Turtle No. 1 for August
    NSD - 9/15
    (up to 12/8/18)
    My Diary is here - http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=2175629 (Eager Elephants Effective Everyday Excursion)
    • SpekySquarehead
    • By SpekySquarehead 23rd May 18, 8:36 AM
    • 2,123 Posts
    • 17,342 Thanks
    SpekySquarehead
    Morning CCL,

    Good on you for staying strong and consistent. You're not giving off mixed signals and he should know where he stands. You seem much clearer in your thinking than you were months ago. But, I appreciate it must have been hard. Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind.
    Debt Free Date: 29/09/16
    • PurpleFairy26
    • By PurpleFairy26 24th May 18, 6:29 AM
    • 2,406 Posts
    • 16,348 Thanks
    PurpleFairy26
    Hope you're ok cat thinking of you.
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 24th May 18, 9:22 AM
    • 57,965 Posts
    • 238,412 Thanks
    beanielou
    Hope you are ploddinhg on
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 12 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.***
    ***Keep plodding***
    Out of debt, out of danger. MFW 2018. No 144
    • JWPopps
    • By JWPopps 24th May 18, 3:52 PM
    • 329 Posts
    • 1,746 Thanks
    JWPopps
    Hi CCL,

    I found this diary today and I'm so sorry you're going through everything you are. It seems very clear to me (and it seems, everyone else here!) that you are making incredibly difficult decisions every day and you're doing the very best you can under awful circumstances.

    I don't know if I'll be any use to you whatsoever but I've subscribed so that there's another supportive voice rallying in your corner!!

    -JW
    Mortgage: 86,182.17
    Credit Card Debt: 1,702.42
    Loan Debt: 5,306.47
    Savings: 600.00


    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 25th May 18, 7:59 AM
    • 4,118 Posts
    • 35,231 Thanks
    crazy_cat_lady
    Hi all

    Sorry for my absence since Monday afternoon - it's exam season, and I'm so busy on top of everything else that's going on. I'm trying to juggle work as a teacher, as a senior examiner, and the personal situation. It all kind of came to a head at once and I've literally not had a spare minute where I've felt emotionally able to get online.

    In brief - Monday afternoon he eventually went to the council to declare himself homeless. Too late for them to do anything that day. I ended up paying for him a night in a hotel room so he could get there first thing next morning.

    Tuesday 3pm, dd rang me at work saying her dad was in the house refusing to leave and saying the council told him he had the legal right to be there. He had managed to get my 80 something year old neighbours to let him in (scared them into it and lied to them according to them) and was refusing to go. I ended up ringing the police and dashing straight home from work. It wasn't a pleasant exchange but the police ended up agreeing that he couldn't stay due to his unreasonable behaviour, and I ended up forking out 300 for 9 nights for him to stay in a b&b. One police officer took him there, while the other told me I was being emotionally abused and that they would keep him out of the house if he came back again.

    Wednesday I had work in the morning and managed to get a solicitor's appointment in the afternoon. Solicitor agreed that I have every right to keep him out of the house as there is an issue with his previous behaviour, current mental state and what the kids might have to deal with. He's keen to avoid getting an injunction, although he says I'll get it easily, as that will have an impact on ex in terms of criminal stuff, and it will be expensive as I don't get legal aid. He said that if he comes back I need to refuse him entry and ring the police immediately. I have another appointment next week to get the divorce underway, and am looking into applying for a mortgage in my own name. I really hope that I don't need to get an injunction.

    Then I had to come to London for an examiners meeting Wednesday night. I've never stopped since. Got here at 11pm, worked all day yesterday and was out for a team dinner last night. Bestie is looking after the kids between our two houses and they are both doing really well - better emotionally than I am I think, although ex seems to think I'm turning them against him when I've done nothing of the sort. DD is nearly 14 and quite capable of making her own decisions in life. I've told them on Wednesday and last night that they both have their dad's number if they want to contact him. At the moment they've both chosen not to.

    I should have time later tonight to get on for a proper catch up. Thanks everyone as always for all of the support.
    November in NY #20 NSD = 7 1 debt vs 100 days 328.51/1685
    DFD #1: 6 Nov 15 - paid 28,447
    • SpekySquarehead
    • By SpekySquarehead 25th May 18, 8:56 AM
    • 2,123 Posts
    • 17,342 Thanks
    SpekySquarehead
    Oh wow CCL. It's been eventful and it can't have been easy. Well done you for, once again, sticking to your guns and doing the right thing. You've been incredibly compassionate and helpful, when many others wouldn't when in your shoes and you should take a lot of pride in that.
    Debt Free Date: 29/09/16
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