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  • FIRST POST
    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 3rd May 18, 9:50 AM
    • 4,021Posts
    • 34,373Thanks
    crazy_cat_lady
    Crazy Cat Lady Chapter 3 - A New Beginning
    • #1
    • 3rd May 18, 9:50 AM
    Crazy Cat Lady Chapter 3 - A New Beginning 3rd May 18 at 9:50 AM
    Good morning everyone,

    I've had a bit of a break from the forums over the past couple of months, but today seems like a good time to come back on here and to start a new diary. An awful lot has changed in my life over the past couple of weeks and it's going to take some time and effort to adjust, and more than ever I need the support and accountability of being on here to keep me on the straight and narrow as far as my finances are concerned.
    I hope that some of my usual bunch have followed me to this diary, and welcome to anyone new that might be reading. I need all of the help and support that I can get...
    October Gobstopper #8 NSD = 12 1 debt vs 100 days 328.51/1685
    DFD #1: 6 Nov 15 - paid 28,447
Page 29
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 10th Oct 18, 8:37 PM
    • 57,414 Posts
    • 235,026 Thanks
    beanielou
    But boo to another really long day
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 11 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.***
    ***Keep plodding***
    Out of debt, out of danger. MFW 2018. No 144
    • Chrystal
    • By Chrystal 11th Oct 18, 1:45 AM
    • 464 Posts
    • 2,980 Thanks
    Chrystal
    Must admit I think it sounds rather selfish of the Head to expect you to miss your lunch hour! I think I'd be taking sandwiches/ food flask and telling him I need tea/coffee to go with it, otherwise you'll be passing out in the middle of a lesson- and he wouldn't want that would he.

    Glad the bank account is looking a bit healthier and wishing you a better day for tomorrow.
    Take care. X
    I Believe.....
    That it isn't always enough, to be forgiven by others.
    Sometimes, you have to learn to forgive yourself.
    • MeandO
    • By MeandO 11th Oct 18, 10:06 AM
    • 1,603 Posts
    • 7,698 Thanks
    MeandO
    Good news on the bank account looking a bit plumper. I hope today is a good day and you manage to shake off any bugs xx
    House moving fund: 2045.75
    Mortgage Feb 2015: 102,000 Mortgage now: 74,734.55 2018 mortgage OP's: 1636.81/1800 Emergency Fund: 300
    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 11th Oct 18, 6:26 PM
    • 4,021 Posts
    • 34,373 Thanks
    crazy_cat_lady
    I don't think that the Head was aware I was working through my lunch Chrystal - we have 2 lunch breaks in school, and he will have presumed mine was first lunch. He's a nice guy so I'm sure if I'd spoken up he would have dealt with it. I don't mind as it's not every day, and I think it went quite well overall.
    I was in bed by 9 to watch The Apprentice with ds, and asleep not long after 10. Unfortunately I woke up just after 5 and that was too late to try and get back to sleep so I was up and about earlier than usual this morning.
    Thankfully it was a much less busy day at work, and although it was still all non stop, I managed to get break and lunch, and a sit down and something to eat. I even left at 4pm today. I'm tired tonight, but not the sheer exhaustion I've had for the past few days that's for sure. Managed to get lots done, and although I still have lots I need to do I feel a bit less stressed about it. Even had a little bit of time to think about how boring I am - work, home, sleep repeat.
    Anyway, I am boring, with nothing else to report so I'm going to get on and do a bit of crochet while I'm still awake enough for it.
    October Gobstopper #8 NSD = 12 1 debt vs 100 days 328.51/1685
    DFD #1: 6 Nov 15 - paid 28,447
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 11th Oct 18, 7:55 PM
    • 57,414 Posts
    • 235,026 Thanks
    beanielou
    Glad that today was a better day.
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 11 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.***
    ***Keep plodding***
    Out of debt, out of danger. MFW 2018. No 144
    • Sallyforth
    • By Sallyforth 11th Oct 18, 8:28 PM
    • 44 Posts
    • 104 Thanks
    Sallyforth
    No, you are not boring. Believe me!
    • foxgloves
    • By foxgloves 12th Oct 18, 7:35 PM
    • 4,317 Posts
    • 22,840 Thanks
    foxgloves
    Breaks are v important, CCL. If I miss my lunch or more likely am late eating it, I find I feel quite wobbly. Low blood sugar can produce similar symptoms as anxiety, & we know how horrid they are, so difficult as it is, I think prioritising a sustaining lunch is a positive thing you can do to care for yourself x
    Money can't jump out of your purse on its own so ask 'Can I borrow one, make one, grow one, bake one, re-purpose or recycle, acquire it for free?' Yes? Then put that purse away & keep your money because little savings grow!
    Loan pay-down fund instalment 2 = 470-01
    Payment received from surveys: 2015 = 320 2016 = 210 2017 = 304 2018 = 358
    • f0xh0les
    • By f0xh0les 12th Oct 18, 8:47 PM
    • 1,803 Posts
    • 15,358 Thanks
    f0xh0les
    Happy, Happy, Happy Weekend !
    MFW START DATE May 16 118,340 : Oct17 - 109,495.00Dec17 108,800Jan 18 108,392.98 March 18 108,504.72April 108,099May 106,999June 105,999.99July 105,300.00
    Aug 103,999.99
    Sep 102,999.99 October 101,999.99
    NEXT GOAL is sub 100k before 2019Mortgage-free wannabe 2018 #65
    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 13th Oct 18, 9:35 AM
    • 4,021 Posts
    • 34,373 Thanks
    crazy_cat_lady
    Morning all
    Happy weekend indeed
    I decided to have a night off from the laptop last night after another busy day topping off a busy week. We aren't in the middle of Storm Callum but it was mighty windy yesterday - and every other teacher on here will vouch for me when I say that a windy day brings out the very worst in the kids' behaviour. I have a full teaching day on Friday, but did get my lunch break (it's only 30 mins so feels short even when I do have it).
    I'd started the day on quite a positive note. It's been a while coming but I finally got to 1 stone of weight loss, which inspires me to keep trying. It's been slow going, but not difficult and down is definitely better than up. I still have an awful long way to go but I will keep going. Stood in front of my first few classes of the day thinking how much better I'd felt than Friday of last week...
    Lunchtime I got an email from the exam board saying I hadn't been shortlisted for the promotion I'd applied for. I'm genuinely, genuinely not bothered about this. But I am bothered that they contacted me and asked me to apply for the job. Twice. I wasn't sure I'd be able to do it at all and said so, but they talked me into it and I spent a lot of time researching and applying only to get knocked back. Never mind - I just don't appreciate people wasting my very precious time.
    Then further into the afternoon I got a call from the primary school. DS had been involved in a fight and was in trouble. The stories from school and ds actually match - he'd wound someone up and ended up getting hit because of it. It's the same kid again and again - has been for years. But it's disappointing after such a good report at parents evening last week.
    So by the time I finished work I was in a pretty bad mood. Thank goodness for the support of my head of department and the Head about the job. I spoke to ds when he arrived from school and he was still angry about the whole thing, but I reminded him that there are consequences to every decision we make, and he has to deal with the consequences of his behaviour. He shouted and cried but seemed to calm down while we were in the car driving to his swimming lesson.
    After his swimming lesson I made him come along to Mr S, which is just round the corner, so we could get the luxury end of the shopping, and we got home just after 6pm. I was shattered so just time for a quick bite to eat and a bit of tv and crochet before bed.
    Didn't sleep very well - think I'm still fighting off either stress or a bit of a bug of some sort. Got up for the day at 7 and I'm determined to spend some time just relaxing. However, I did get downstairs this morning and just think 'Ugh, look at the state of the house' so I'm determined I'm going to do a bit of clearing and tidying as well as staying on top of the usual housework, washing etc. No plans for any Nigella like goddess stuff in the kitchen this weekend either. I've had to bring a bit of work home with me for school unfortunately but I'll do that later. I've already been out to Liddle for the rest of the shopping - I was a bit disappointed actually because lots of the stuff I usually get wasn't there - but we will make do. Also picked up a parcel which wasn't my sock yarn that I ordered to make gifts with. I think I'll have to declare that missing now and try and get my money back. Already have arranged to see bestie over lunch time which is long overdue as I missed her last week. Other than that, today is quiet. Tomorrow looks busier with tutoring and visiting my mam - so I'll make the most of resting and relaxing today.
    Right. I'm going to get on for the day. Plan is 10 minutes doing something round the house followed by half an hour of relaxing. And repeat.
    October Gobstopper #8 NSD = 12 1 debt vs 100 days 328.51/1685
    DFD #1: 6 Nov 15 - paid 28,447
    • Honeysucklelou2
    • By Honeysucklelou2 13th Oct 18, 10:02 AM
    • 1,149 Posts
    • 5,373 Thanks
    Honeysucklelou2
    Now that's a good plan, 10 minutes of a household task and 30 resting!
    paydbx #93 899.50/8,000.
    Loan 17k - paid off in Aug 2017. Home improvement loans 3342 March 2017. 2994 in Aug 18
    • Chrystal
    • By Chrystal 13th Oct 18, 9:00 PM
    • 464 Posts
    • 2,980 Thanks
    Chrystal
    Hope you managed to have a productive, as well as relaxing, day.
    Must admit that kind of carry on with kids drives you mad. Have you managed to find out why he has such a problem with the other one? Is he saying/doing things to your boy and not being seen? Getting to the bottom of the reason, and working out with him a way to cope with it, just may be the solution.... although it's easier said then done I know. ((hugs))
    I Believe.....
    That it isn't always enough, to be forgiven by others.
    Sometimes, you have to learn to forgive yourself.
    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 14th Oct 18, 9:53 AM
    • 4,021 Posts
    • 34,373 Thanks
    crazy_cat_lady
    Morning all
    This is going to be a bit of a milestone post for me - number 4000 I can't believe how much my life has changed since I started posting on here 3 and a bit years ago. I wanted to clear the last of my dmp as soon as I could and become debt free. Now I'm in more debt than I was then, but look at how my home and work life have changed... A new boss who appreciates me and values the work I do, and a new home life and a divorce in progress. How things change.
    Managed a fair amount of relaxing yesterday. Went to bestie's house for a couple of hours in the afternoon, and it's always lovely to see her. I also finally finished a couple of hats I've been making for someone at work. Got a couple of loads of washing done and I have managed a fair amount of tidying and decluttering.
    I don't feel that well rested though. I think this is a physical symptom of my anxiety and stress - it doesn't matter how much sleep I get I am exhausted. Diet and activity is somewhat improved and my sleep is better so I presume it's that. I thought I was getting sick but I don't feel ill, just tired as I always am.
    So I've been up and about since 7 - put a load of washing in, fed the cats, put the recycling out, made myself a coffee and something to eat and run the hoover round in the sitting room. I'm going tutoring in a little while, then off to visit my mam afterwards. That's going to keep me busy for most of the day (and net me some extra and a cuddle from my mam ) but I will hopefully feel rested. Only 1 more week to go until half term anyway. I can almost see it
    I did speak to ds Chrystal - I think he and the other kid both want to be the 'leader' kid and spend a lot of time trying to outdo each other. I wish they'd leave each other alone though...
    October Gobstopper #8 NSD = 12 1 debt vs 100 days 328.51/1685
    DFD #1: 6 Nov 15 - paid 28,447
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 14th Oct 18, 11:19 AM
    • 57,414 Posts
    • 235,026 Thanks
    beanielou
    Enjoy your time with your mam
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 11 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.***
    ***Keep plodding***
    Out of debt, out of danger. MFW 2018. No 144
    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 15th Oct 18, 7:06 PM
    • 4,021 Posts
    • 34,373 Thanks
    crazy_cat_lady
    Evening everyone
    Pleased I got my cuddle and catch up with my mam yesterday because it was very much needed. I'm a bit poorly. I think it's a touch of sinusitis - I have a lot of pressure in my head and pain under my eyes.
    I was in bed before 8pm last night - slept loads but again not very rested. Sudafed is making it bearable at the moment so I could get up and go to work. Another long day and so much change going on - it's really difficult to keep up at the moment. I think I may have to ask the Head for another meeting because the staff gossip is becoming unbearable and I want him to keep the staff in the loop about what is going on. It's overall good news for the school but a lot of change in a short space of time and we quite often don't know what is going on from one day to the next.
    Monday is one of my busiest days so I barely get time to do anything at all. Choice between toilet and a drink at break time today. It's hectic. Thankfully only 4 more get ups until half term. I can almost see the end in sight And if I'm going to be ill I want it to be before my holiday! Definitely going in tomorrow because I have a free and I desperately need to get some exam papers in for copying.
    I've also given in tonight and put the heating on. I'm under 2 blankets in the living room and I'm still cold. It is mid October I suppose, and very cold.
    In terms of my life and progress - I emailed my solicitor today and asked for an update. Shy bairns and all that... hopefully something will be sorted soon. I still haven't heard anything at all from ex for almost a fortnight but I can't allow myself to be bothered by that at all. The kids are taking it all in their stride as well - dd is angry, ds is a bit worried but only because he cares so much. This is much more what I thought life would be like without him - but I hate the inconsistency for the kids. Dad of the year one minute and not a word for weeks the next. I suspect he's unwell, but the kids will make their own minds up about their relationship with him (think dd already has for the moment). Hopefully I'll hear back from the solicitors soon - not knowing, and just waiting is the hardest bit.
    I'm also starting to make plans for half term. I'm working all of the first day for the exam board, but my mam really wants to take me to the cinema to see A Star is Born. And then today we arranged for some of my workmates to come drinking in my little town. I always complain about our nights out because I have to get a bus into Newcastle which takes a while once I get the kids sorted and then go out - so they are coming to me. They are in for a shock that's for sure. It's a very small, ex mining town - but we do have a Wethersp00ns so we'll be ok It's nice to have some plans to see some adults and to know that I have some good friends around me.
    October Gobstopper #8 NSD = 12 1 debt vs 100 days 328.51/1685
    DFD #1: 6 Nov 15 - paid 28,447
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 15th Oct 18, 7:18 PM
    • 57,414 Posts
    • 235,026 Thanks
    beanielou
    Hope that you feel better soon.
    Glad that you have some plans for half term

    Take care.
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 11 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.***
    ***Keep plodding***
    Out of debt, out of danger. MFW 2018. No 144
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 15th Oct 18, 7:21 PM
    • 57,414 Posts
    • 235,026 Thanks
    beanielou
    Hope you feel better soon.

    Glad that you have some plans in place for half term.

    Take care.
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 11 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.***
    ***Keep plodding***
    Out of debt, out of danger. MFW 2018. No 144
    • Honeysucklelou2
    • By Honeysucklelou2 15th Oct 18, 7:22 PM
    • 1,149 Posts
    • 5,373 Thanks
    Honeysucklelou2
    Sometimes I think the tiredness can be cumulative in the sense that the closer I get to half term, the more "on my knees " I feel! Keep going, just a little longer to half term!
    paydbx #93 899.50/8,000.
    Loan 17k - paid off in Aug 2017. Home improvement loans 3342 March 2017. 2994 in Aug 18
    • SpekySquarehead
    • By SpekySquarehead 16th Oct 18, 8:35 AM
    • 2,089 Posts
    • 17,032 Thanks
    SpekySquarehead
    Hi CCL,

    The kids will make their own minds up about their Dad in due course. The onus is on him to the make the effort if he wants to be a part of their lives.

    Also, good to hear you've got a night out planned and it's local to you too. Gives you something to look forward to and it shouldn't be as much of as pain as it would be in the city centre. It's well deserved and I hope you manage to recharge the batteries a bit.
    Debt Free Date: 29/09/16
    • joeyjimbles
    • By joeyjimbles 16th Oct 18, 3:27 PM
    • 1,656 Posts
    • 8,947 Thanks
    joeyjimbles
    You sound like you've got so much on at the moment. No wonder you are feeling the need to sleep. And I agree with whoever said that missing meals and drinks can cause your blood sugar to dip, especially when combined with worry and stress about all the stuff you have on your plate. Sandwiches, snacks and regular drinks - little and often if necessary - but do keep your strength up.
    I suffer from sinusitis too but find Sudafed makes me unable to sleep - might you be the same? Sadly haven't found anything else that helps as well but will shout if I do.
    Hope you got the glorious sunshine on Sunday and yesterday - I'm on the other side of the country from you but the end of the weekend was beautiful here which was a stark contrast from the flooding river through the parks and fields on Saturday.
    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 16th Oct 18, 6:46 PM
    • 4,021 Posts
    • 34,373 Thanks
    crazy_cat_lady
    Hey
    Still no better unfortunately. I slept well (there is a night time Sudafed capsule joey - which did me ok between 10pm and 5am last night) but woke up with the headache again, and the Sudafed wasn't quite so effective today. Being ill has made me quite grumpy but I'm getting more and more determined not to take a day off (even though I desperately want to sleep all day). There is a whole staff meeting tomorrow that I definitely don't want to miss with everything that's going on at the minute. I'm trying to stay hydrated and eat a bit - even though I don't feel like it at all but I want to give it my best shot at getting rid.
    Thankfully I did have my free time today - although I didn't get the papers in for copying. My head of department decided I needed to add something to them so I spent the time doing that. The first print copy is ready on my desk at work and I'll sort it tomorrow (12 papers in total). Think my lessons might have to be a bit 'basic' in order to survive tomorrow but it will still be better than leaving my classes to the mercy of a supply teacher.
    I also heard back from my solicitor's secretary. It wasn't great news. Apparently they have sent 2 letters to ex regarding the mortgage, and 1 regarding the financial settlement. They are waiting for him to sign some forms and return them but he hasn't responded to any of it as yet. This is much more like what I would expect from him - but it is blimming annoying. Feels like he's trying to be awkward, although it could be that he's ill. As I said yesterday, I can't make myself care - I'm just annoyed that it's dragging on longer than it needs to because he won't/can't sign a couple of forms and return them. I feel more guilty about the fact that I should care and I don't, and I'm back to being quite mean to myself about the whole situation, which really isn't helpful at all. I've sent him a text asking him to either sign and send stuff back if he's ok with it or get onto a solicitor himself if he's not. He hasn't replied (obviously). I rang my solicitor to find out what my options are - he's a good man, and worth the billions of pounds I have to pay him. He told me that the divorce is completely separate from the finances and that will happen, and we'll get the decree absolute applied for at the earliest chance. He did also say that if ex won't deal with the finances then we can apply to the courts to ask them to sort it all out, but that's not ideal because it will take longer, and it will be much more expensive - but it is at least an option. It will also guarantee me losing a chunk of my pension, but I will get a better deal on the house than I currently do. However, my mortgage offer is only good until Feb next year - then the way my finances are going at the minute God knows if I'll get another deal if I need one. It's so annoying. I want it sorted, our lives separated and both of us moving on. If he won't be reasonable then I guarantee that I won't be reasonable either. However, I will at least be divorced and nothing can stop that.
    I feel like such an idiot. I loved him so much, and wanted to be with him for ever. And he wore me down and down until I had nothing left to give and now I've stopped caring about him. I feel angry with myself for not seeing what everyone else could clearly see in our relationship in that I didn't get what I deserved as a human being. And I feel stupid for ever getting married in the first place because the fall out from the divorce is way more expensive and stressful than organising the wedding. But most of all I feel stupid for thinking I could make him love me while he was using me as a substitute parent. No point feeling sorry for myself though, it's done now. But lesson definitely learned the very hard way.
    Right. I genuinely don't think I can face eating anything much for dinner tonight. I have a bit of salad left over from lunch which I'll finish then I'll head off to bed. I'm sure that being ill really isn't helping me mood wise.
    October Gobstopper #8 NSD = 12 1 debt vs 100 days 328.51/1685
    DFD #1: 6 Nov 15 - paid 28,447
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