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  • FIRST POST
    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 3rd May 18, 9:50 AM
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    crazy_cat_lady
    Crazy Cat Lady Chapter 3 - A New Beginning
    • #1
    • 3rd May 18, 9:50 AM
    Crazy Cat Lady Chapter 3 - A New Beginning 3rd May 18 at 9:50 AM
    Good morning everyone,

    I've had a bit of a break from the forums over the past couple of months, but today seems like a good time to come back on here and to start a new diary. An awful lot has changed in my life over the past couple of weeks and it's going to take some time and effort to adjust, and more than ever I need the support and accountability of being on here to keep me on the straight and narrow as far as my finances are concerned.
    I hope that some of my usual bunch have followed me to this diary, and welcome to anyone new that might be reading. I need all of the help and support that I can get...
    November in NY #20 NSD = 8 1 debt vs 100 days 328.51/1685
    DFD #1: 6 Nov 15 - paid 28,447
Page 23
    • f0xh0les
    • By f0xh0les 10th Sep 18, 9:33 PM
    • 1,872 Posts
    • 16,095 Thanks
    f0xh0les
    Blimey CCL you are going through the wringer right now!

    I have spent the last two evenings going through CCL part III, and I feel exhausted just reading it. You are living it. You are doing magnificently.

    Your children adore you. You obviously adore your children, and your summer sounded great fun. You are a great mum. You are holding all this together. You are building a secure future for you and your chilldren. You are the foundation stone. The stability. The constant. It may not be glamourous, it may not be sexy, but you must give yourself the credit you are due. The foundation takes all the stresses and strains, so be kind to yourself.

    I wish I could teach you to only worry about things during ' normal banking hours' , worries have no place under the duvet.
    The trick is to work out the things you can control, and the things which you cannot control, and admit those things beyond your control and dismiss them as such.

    I hope you get a wonderful night's sleep tonight
    I take my hat off to you.
    You are amazing.
    MFW START DATE May 16 118,340 : Oct17 - 109,495.00Dec17 108,800Jan 18 108,392.98 Mar 18 108,504.72Apr 108,099May 106,999Jun 105,999.Jul 105,300Aug 103,999 Sept 102,999 Oct 101,999November 101,300.00
    NEXT GOAL is sub 100k before 2019Mortgage-free wannabe 2018 #65
    • SpekySquarehead
    • By SpekySquarehead 11th Sep 18, 9:15 AM
    • 2,128 Posts
    • 17,374 Thanks
    SpekySquarehead
    You've mentioned a few times of late on your money worries. You still using YNAB to keep on top of things? Using YNAB can, I suppose, add some stress as you begin to realise that you might not have enough for all the things you want. I recon it then comes down to priorities.

    I hope you're managing to get a good sleep, that will help in all areas of health and well being.
    Debt Free Date: 29/09/16
    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 11th Sep 18, 10:27 PM
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    crazy_cat_lady
    Evening all
    It is cutting it a bit fine, but I will still make my 1030pm bedtime. I'm finally starting to feel less tired in the evening, but I definitely need every minute of the time I'm in bed, whether or not I'm asleep. I'm determined I'm not compromising there at all - the thing that I've given up tonight is the crochet, just not enough time. So don't worry on that front Speky. I am still using YNAB as well - it's a lot of orange and red at the moment, so yes, a bit more stress. However, I am juggling things around, but it serves to remind me that I may need to go overdrawn this month. I hate the thought of that, but I need to just take it on the chin, and add it to my ever growing list of debts. As you say Dawn, and others have also said, I will sort it once I know where I'm at. I googled consent order, and that's the form for the money and finances, so hopefully we are still making some progress.
    Hi Foxholes - thanks for joining me over here, and taking the time out to read my ramblings, and more than occasional whinges and moans. I hope you haven't been too bored over the past couple of evenings. Thank you for saying such kind things - I'm always overwhelmed by how much love and support I get from my online friends. It means a lot.
    So, today has been more of the same. Work, work, work (now have that awful Rihanna song stuck in my head). I had my first free since last Thursday, and ended up just feeling shattered. When I got started with getting something done, another member of staff came to talk to me about something that took up quite a bit of time. Still, I am grateful for my free, and thankful that people know that they can come and talk to me about anything if they want to. I left at 4 as it's Open Evening tomorrow, and I'll be there until 8 tomorrow night - got home and fed us and then top priority was to finish the exam work. So I did that, but it took a bit longer than I thought and it was after 8 once that was done. Then I had a shower and have come back down and caught up on here. No crochet as I need sleep more.
    Thankfully the kids have been well entertained without me tonight - dd has seen her boyfriend and ds on his Xbox. I love them, but like that I can get on with the stuff I need to when I need to do it. However, ds is still up and about now complaining of a cough and sore throat (new term germs), and he's asking for a cuddle so I'm going to let him sleep in with me tonight.
    Hopefully I'll check in tomorrow - see you then
    November in NY #20 NSD = 8 1 debt vs 100 days 328.51/1685
    DFD #1: 6 Nov 15 - paid 28,447
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 11th Sep 18, 10:38 PM
    • 57,981 Posts
    • 238,535 Thanks
    beanielou
    Sweet dreams xx
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 12 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.***
    ***Keep plodding***
    Out of debt, out of danger. MFW 2018. No 144
    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 12th Sep 18, 10:09 PM
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    crazy_cat_lady
    Just a quick check in because I'm absolutely shattered tonight. I left the house at 7.30am and didn't get in until 9.30pm tonight. I've just managed to put the bins out for tomorrow, and I'm catching up on here but absolutely nothing else.
    Open evening was SO busy. At one point I couldn't even move in my own classroom - it's good though that the school is on the up and so many people are coming to visit. Fingers crossed that converts to numbers next year.
    Being so busy I haven't had a lot of thinking time, but I was awake for a while during the night last night. Ended up putting the telly on to keep my mind busy and I went to sleep not long after that. Still less than 6 hours though, and a long day at work today as well. One little bit of mse though - the school provided sandwiches for us for dinner, and I managed to get a couple of spares to bring home - for me and ds tomorrow night (dd doesn't eat sandwiches at all). Also a nsd - it all helps.
    No letter from the solicitor but I wouldn't have dealt with it tonight anyway as I'm just too tired. Did get a nice email from the exam people though saying thanks and that they thought I'd done a really good job Always nice to be praised.
    So, I'm determined to make my 1030 bed time. Just going to head off now and hope that the lack of thinking time during the day doesn't mean that I'm going to be awake for hours tonight while my brain rebels against me Night night all...
    November in NY #20 NSD = 8 1 debt vs 100 days 328.51/1685
    DFD #1: 6 Nov 15 - paid 28,447
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 12th Sep 18, 10:14 PM
    • 57,981 Posts
    • 238,535 Thanks
    beanielou
    Sleep well
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 12 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.***
    ***Keep plodding***
    Out of debt, out of danger. MFW 2018. No 144
    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 13th Sep 18, 6:07 PM
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    crazy_cat_lady
    Oh my goodness. I am more tired than I can remember being for AGES. And tired makes me grumpy and grumpy means I open my mouth and say what I mean...
    Plus I am a bit worried about ds. I'm hoping he's just tired with the routine of being back at school, but he's been really anxious the past few days, and this morning he was very tearful. I asked him what was the matter, and he said that he just feels sad and he doesn't know why. He also said he was like his dad, which I've told him he isn't, and that while it was ok for him to feel sad sometimes, we have to try and look after ourselves until we feel better. I ended up ringing the school to speak to his teacher, who said that she would keep an eye on him. She didn't get back to me, and he said he felt a bit better at the end of school but still isn't great so I'm hoping that it's just a temporary thing.
    After the very long day yesterday I was still tired when I woke up this morning and didn't much fancy going to work at all, although I managed to stay out of trouble there (mostly). Had a minor run in with a couple of kids but nothing too horrific.
    The thing I have lost my temper with the most today is YNAB. After all of the hassle last month where I ended up paying twice (once monthly and once annually), I have been charged an annual subscription today, which has made me overdrawn. I think the app is amazing, but something has gone badly wrong with my account. I've sent them a bit of a scathing email telling them to sort it before I get up on Saturday morning or I'm going to cancel for good. It's a bit stressful to lose an extra 70 over what I had planned to spend.
    I'm also a bit chewed off with the solicitor. The letter arrived today with an interim invoice (and I still owe money in spite of paying them 100 a month), with a load of documentation for me to read through that I don't understand, and a vague 'please contact us'. I have no idea what to do with all of the paperwork. Am I supposed to complete it? I know a phone call will cost me a fortune, but they could have told me that when I phoned chasing them on Monday. It's tough trying to work through a load of stuff you've never done before without much help, that's for sure.
    Also peeved that more tiles have fallen off the bathroom wall. I bought a shower curtain and rail, to protect the wall while we're in the shower. Really hope my handyman gets back to me soon, and that I'm not going to be even more broke than I can afford to be.
    On days like this I just need to have a shower and have an early night, and try and hide from the world... so I think that's what I'll get on and do.
    November in NY #20 NSD = 8 1 debt vs 100 days 328.51/1685
    DFD #1: 6 Nov 15 - paid 28,447
    • Honeysucklelou2
    • By Honeysucklelou2 13th Sep 18, 7:51 PM
    • 1,175 Posts
    • 5,574 Thanks
    Honeysucklelou2
    You have my sympathies CCL. I have a wedge of paperwork to do with the financial part of the separation that is beyond me. Bizarrely there's little space on the form to write the answers, which makes me think it's a computer based proforma that is best completed on a computer so that the answer boxes extend. It is a bit of a tricky situation when you don't want to call because you know the bill will go up. I had a hefty bill at the end of last month despite paying some money on account.
    paydbx #93 899.50/8,000.
    Loan 17k - paid off in Aug 2017. Home improvement loans 3342 March 2017. 2994 in Aug 18
    • SpekySquarehead
    • By SpekySquarehead 14th Sep 18, 9:39 AM
    • 2,128 Posts
    • 17,374 Thanks
    SpekySquarehead
    Ahhh sorry to hear that YNAB is being a pain. In my experience they've been really quick to react and turn things around. Although being based in America means there might be a delay.

    When it rains it pours.

    I really hope your DS feels a bit better soon. It's perhaps a mix of everything that's making him feel that way. Consistently having you there to support him will make sure that he comes through it.

    Give yourself some time to get a sleep - you need it!
    Debt Free Date: 29/09/16
    • apple muncher
    • By apple muncher 14th Sep 18, 12:29 PM
    • 7,916 Posts
    • 59,947 Thanks
    apple muncher
    Hope your Friday has been better at work and you can relax a little this weekend.
    NST November New Yorker #8; NSD 8/15; Ex 6/21 ; craft 42 (196); remove 16 (653)
    2018 Pay off: 4509; 2
    018 sell 55.10; WLOSW 3/10

    Mortgage 18,634 (01/14: 78,201; 01/15: 59,629; 01/16: 39,915; 01/17: 27,295; 01/18 23,143) MFWDate Dec 2018
    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 14th Sep 18, 5:21 PM
    • 4,120 Posts
    • 35,263 Thanks
    crazy_cat_lady
    I'm still tired. Woke up during the night and couldn't get back to sleep.
    The happy thing is that ds seems a lot better today - I'm less pleased that he's arranged for his dad to come to the house to see him later. Not sure if I can face that discussion tonight. I'm actually thinking about going to sleep now so I don't feel this rough, or I sleep through him coming. I've said a few times that it's not ideal him coming here, but he still keeps coming back. I don't know if he thinks it's easier, but it's really not for me.
    I've had a full teaching day as well, and it's been another toughie. I can't think of anything other than sleep - so who am I to argue. Sleep is what I'll do...
    November in NY #20 NSD = 8 1 debt vs 100 days 328.51/1685
    DFD #1: 6 Nov 15 - paid 28,447
    • Chrystal
    • By Chrystal 14th Sep 18, 5:29 PM
    • 508 Posts
    • 3,335 Thanks
    Chrystal
    Sending positive thoughts your way, and hoping you can have a restful weekend. ((hugs))
    I Believe.....
    That it isn't always enough, to be forgiven by others.
    Sometimes, you have to learn to forgive yourself.
    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 15th Sep 18, 4:40 PM
    • 4,120 Posts
    • 35,263 Thanks
    crazy_cat_lady
    I got a brief power nap on the sofa last night, about 15 mins, before the window cleaner woke me up banging on the door wanting to be paid. Ugh. Then I tried to go back to sleep but I couldn't because my brain does that to me sometimes.
    Ex came round about 8pm. I thought he'd stay about half an hour, but I ended up having to kick him out just before 10. I don't know what he expected, but I got the impression he thought I was going to tell him to stay and all was forgiven. We talked for a bit, and I can tell he's still very upset by the whole situation, but so am I. And I will not forgive and forget this time - his visit served to remind me that I am happier at home with just me and the kids. He's a good man, and I am still desperately sad at what has happened, but it is definitely all over. I don't want to hate him, or ban him from the house but it is starting to get a bit wearing. I told him we were all going to bed, and he just sat in his van outside the house for a good 10 minutes before eventually leaving. I think it's too much for him to come back to the house at the moment, and his visit certainly hasn't done me any good as I feel stressed as anything about it all.
    However, I was asleep by half ten and managed to rest well. Up a couple of times during the night then I got up for the day at half past seven. Decided I'd get the grocery shopping done and out of the way so I popped to pick a parcel up in town then went straight to Aldee. Bought what I could off the list in there, then went to Mr A to get what I could in there, then off to Mr S for the couple of things that the kids will only have from there (tinned soup and pizza) and finally Pets At H0me for the naughty tortie beyond expensive sensitive cat food. Got a good few steps in and felt saintly for getting my groceries off a list as cheaply as possible.
    Got home and then decided to go and see bestie for our Saturday catch up. No cash required as she'd bought pods for her coffee machine. She's a lovely woman and never seems to get tired of letting me moan, which I seem to do a lot of. She thinks that ex is still hoping that I'll change my mind (I won't), and reassured me that she worries as much about money as I do.
    Now I'm home and back in my jammies (at half four in the evening), catching up on here and making a plan of things I need to do. That mainly involves getting a start on my home made Christmas - I have more wool in the loft than I know what to do with, and at least 50 magazines from the past few years so I need to make a list of who gets a gift and what they will get. I'm also psyching myself up for a batch cooking session (which I hate but is a necessity)... and maybe finally some jam or chutney making. I need to get this massive blanket finished and pick smaller pressies for other people. Time for a list and a plan.
    November in NY #20 NSD = 8 1 debt vs 100 days 328.51/1685
    DFD #1: 6 Nov 15 - paid 28,447
    • Eager_Elephant
    • By Eager_Elephant 16th Sep 18, 6:26 AM
    • 4,489 Posts
    • 26,116 Thanks
    Eager_Elephant
    ((CCL))

    So sorry the ex is coming round, its really difficult when you are trying to keep the children happy during this difficult time but then its causing other issues.

    Could you speak to DS about it? Is he maybe thinking its easier for you that you dont have to drive him to his dads hence the invite to come round or does he not think and it was just a natural thing to do? I would be wary of ex manipulating DS in to this in the hope you will take him back.

    Although my STBEXH told me recently that he had come to terms with the fact our marriage was over and I was feeling good that he had decided this he then told me last weekend that he will kill himself when our DD is old enough to fend for herself....I was beyond annoyed and it is this emotional blackmail that kept me in my marriage way longer than I should have stayed.

    He always gets down when he has no money and then he does his 'woe is me' act and it spirals.
    I have said all along that I subsidised him when we lived together and he denied it but now he is realising that is true, I have told him that he has champagne aspirations on a lemonade budget and he needs to sort out his luxuries - its all fallen on deaf ears and then by the 5th of the month I will have a text to tell me he has no money for his bills later in the month!!!


    Have a good Sunday CCL
    Ninja Saving Turtle No. 1 for August
    NSD - 9/15
    (up to 12/8/18)
    My Diary is here - http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=2175629 (Eager Elephants Effective Everyday Excursion)
    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 16th Sep 18, 9:37 AM
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    crazy_cat_lady
    Thanks EE
    I think my ex is also having a shocking wake up call about the cost of living. Strange really - he always thought I was extravagant but now he's realised just how much everything costs, and he's living in a room in a house with super cheap rent and bills included... I have spoken to ds and asked him to arrange to see his dad somewhere other than the house. And I spoke to ex and reminded him that I will taxi the kids if need be (if nothing else then just to keep him away from the house). It's dd's birthday on Thursday so we'll see what happens there - probably nothing if the last 16 of my birthdays are anything to go by but she's quite insistent that she doesn't care one way or the other about seeing her dad.
    Sorted through stuff last night as planned. I want to make some socks so found a beginner's pattern for that, but I need to get this king size blanket finished first. I think I might make my mam a shawl for Christmas - she's a very competent knitter and crocheter but I am very skint... I already have something for my sister and a few blankets made in preparation. So maybe not as bad as I was dreading... Just the kids to worry about for getting presents, and I always get cash from my mam and my dad for them so it should be alright. I've spoken to them both about the cash situation and explained Christmas will be a quiet one this year.
    I've also been up and prepped lots of veggies this morning. I've decided to batch cook a giant shepherd's pie for the week ahead, and also thinking about doing some chicken and veg soup (I need to do something with the chicken pieces I defrosted). I might (only might) try some chutney making while I'm on later today. I need a couple of small ingredients to add but think I might be able to do it. Got to try it sooner or later - that big pan is sitting waiting to be used.
    However, first I am doing an hour of tutoring (to pay for my cleaner), and then I'm going to catch up with my mam. I haven't seen her for a month as she's been on holiday to Jersey so I'm looking forward to catching up with her. Hopefully I won't get too upset, but I really am feeling a bit down and I want to talk to her. However, I know how heartbreaking it is when your kids are upset and there's nothing that you can do to help them. We'll see. She's already done more than enough for me over the whole divorce situation, but I know she'd want to be there for me now as well...
    November in NY #20 NSD = 8 1 debt vs 100 days 328.51/1685
    DFD #1: 6 Nov 15 - paid 28,447
    • Honeysucklelou2
    • By Honeysucklelou2 16th Sep 18, 10:45 AM
    • 1,175 Posts
    • 5,574 Thanks
    Honeysucklelou2
    I do sympathise CCL, as one who has to deal with the ex coming round. It's tricky finding the balance between wanting him to have a positive relationship with the children but leaving me alone. Not helped by the fact we don't know where he lives so I can't take them round.

    Hope the tutoring goes well and you have a good time with your mam.
    paydbx #93 899.50/8,000.
    Loan 17k - paid off in Aug 2017. Home improvement loans 3342 March 2017. 2994 in Aug 18
    • f0xh0les
    • By f0xh0les 16th Sep 18, 10:51 AM
    • 1,872 Posts
    • 16,095 Thanks
    f0xh0les
    Hope your 'mummy cuddle' helps you, as much as the ones you give help your kids.

    Everyone needs a hug now and again.

    Situation with DH sounds stressful. I suppose because you don't know which person you are going to get when you answer the door. Then wonder how he will be when he is asked to leave. After he has pretended to himself that his life is 'back to normal' and the divorce is not real. He is also probably a bit miffed that you are holding it all together so well without him.
    But he has to realise his behaviour can't be condonned.
    I mean forgive and forget does not include drink driving and moonlight flits. Not when you have kids. After that kind of muppetry, all bets are off.

    Hope you have a lovely day and may your tiles remain stuck to your walls (odd kind of blessing) - It may be a good sign though - if they all come off this easily, then you won't have to have the wall replastered when the others need to come off.
    Short term - stick them back on with a tube of ready made stuff from diy shop - a blob in each corner and regrout where necessary - honestly it is not a hard job, easier than icing a cake. cost about 5 and it will at least be waterproof.
    The thought of it is much worse than the actual doing of it.
    MFW START DATE May 16 118,340 : Oct17 - 109,495.00Dec17 108,800Jan 18 108,392.98 Mar 18 108,504.72Apr 108,099May 106,999Jun 105,999.Jul 105,300Aug 103,999 Sept 102,999 Oct 101,999November 101,300.00
    NEXT GOAL is sub 100k before 2019Mortgage-free wannabe 2018 #65
    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 16th Sep 18, 7:38 PM
    • 4,120 Posts
    • 35,263 Thanks
    crazy_cat_lady
    I did it! Faced my fears and made the chutney. I have 2 and a bit large jars of smoky tomato chutney sitting on the kitchen table. I think it looks ok, but I haven't dared taste it yet. Managed not to burn anything so it has given me the confidence to want to try something else - so I think I shall try Nigella's chilli jam as recommended on here. However, I need smaller jars, so that I can gift them and enjoy an extremely frugal Christmas indeed. If I get brave with jam I might get brave enough to do fudge or tablet and really be all homely human being who is uber talented and creative and can knit and crochet, and make chutney and jam and fudge that people would pay lots of money for... Getting a bit carried away with myself here, I've done 2 jars of chutney. That I haven't even tried But I can dream. I was surprised how cheap all of the chutney ingredients were, and how much shops charge for the nice 'hand made' stuff.
    It was lovely seeing my mam as well. Sounds like she had a great holiday in Jersey (she brought back an expensive jar of something I've never even heard of - Jersey Black butter) and it sounds like a nice place. We talked lots about the home situation. I think my situation is pretty similar to her separation with my dad. She left him when she was my age, and he found it very difficult to accept. She said he only really stopped coming round when she got her new boyfriend, and it took her years to start feeling properly better and start getting some confidence back. She reminded me that I have spent much of my relationship with ex being worn down by him and made to feel generally worthless - even though he didn't do it intentionally. That makes me sad. I can't decide if I feel sad that I didn't see the situation sooner and get out, or angry that I allowed myself to be treated like that, or upset that he hasn't realised what he's done and tried to get help. However, I am reassured that I will feel better in time although I am impatient and wish it was now. I'm annoyed with myself that I'm so anxious and lacking in confidence...
    Right. Time for a shower and then the Bodyguard...
    November in NY #20 NSD = 8 1 debt vs 100 days 328.51/1685
    DFD #1: 6 Nov 15 - paid 28,447
    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 16th Sep 18, 7:40 PM
    • 4,120 Posts
    • 35,263 Thanks
    crazy_cat_lady
    Thanks for the tip about the tiles Foxholes - I'll put it on my list of things to do...
    November in NY #20 NSD = 8 1 debt vs 100 days 328.51/1685
    DFD #1: 6 Nov 15 - paid 28,447
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 16th Sep 18, 8:08 PM
    • 57,981 Posts
    • 238,535 Thanks
    beanielou
    Oooh The Bodyguard
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 12 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.***
    ***Keep plodding***
    Out of debt, out of danger. MFW 2018. No 144
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