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    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 3rd May 18, 9:50 AM
    • 4,247Posts
    • 36,401Thanks
    crazy_cat_lady
    Crazy Cat Lady Chapter 3 - A New Beginning
    • #1
    • 3rd May 18, 9:50 AM
    Crazy Cat Lady Chapter 3 - A New Beginning 3rd May 18 at 9:50 AM
    Good morning everyone,

    I've had a bit of a break from the forums over the past couple of months, but today seems like a good time to come back on here and to start a new diary. An awful lot has changed in my life over the past couple of weeks and it's going to take some time and effort to adjust, and more than ever I need the support and accountability of being on here to keep me on the straight and narrow as far as my finances are concerned.
    I hope that some of my usual bunch have followed me to this diary, and welcome to anyone new that might be reading. I need all of the help and support that I can get...
    December in the Tardis #16 nsd = 8 New life = new debt
    DFD #1: 6 Nov 15 - paid 28,447
Page 15
    • Chrystal
    • By Chrystal 4th Aug 18, 12:38 AM
    • 549 Posts
    • 3,631 Thanks
    Chrystal
    I agree with Beanie - he's probably thinking that if he acts pathetic you'll take pity on him ... DON'T. He's made his choices over the last 16 years so let him live with them. You need to concentrate on yourself and the DC. X
    I Believe.....
    That it isn't always enough, to be forgiven by others.
    Sometimes, you have to learn to forgive yourself.
    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 4th Aug 18, 9:51 AM
    • 4,247 Posts
    • 36,401 Thanks
    crazy_cat_lady
    Morning all
    I'm not sure how this happened but I slept until 8.40 this morning No noise from ds as he's at his dad's and even the cats gave up trying to get me out of bed However, I do still have this headache. It's an unusual thing for me, because I had this daith piercing done which pretty much cured my migraines and I don't normally get headaches any more - never mind 3 day headaches. I'm well hydrated so can only blame stress. I've had 2 pints of water and something to eat, and a couple of paracetamol and I've got my fingers crossed.
    No plans for today other than I'll need to pick ds up later from his dad's place. Have asked dd if she wants to do anything just the 2 of us before then. We'll see if she says anything.
    I didn't say much to ex last night when I saw him other than that the letter was on its way and he needed to make sure he got some legal advice. We'll see what happens next. I need to move on from stressing about that now because its been a couple of days and it's all just a waiting game - it's going to be weeks rather than days isn't it?
    December in the Tardis #16 nsd = 8 New life = new debt
    DFD #1: 6 Nov 15 - paid 28,447
    • foxgloves
    • By foxgloves 4th Aug 18, 10:58 AM
    • 4,469 Posts
    • 23,995 Thanks
    foxgloves
    It probably is, CCL. Time to concentrate on yourself & projects which will support you in your new single life & help you to feel a little bit more positive about yourself.
    Wishing you a peaceful weekend that's as unstressy as possible in the circumstances.
    F x
    Money can't jump out of your purse on its own so ask 'Can I borrow one, make one, grow one, bake one, re-purpose or recycle, acquire it for free?' Yes? Then put that purse away & keep your money because little savings grow!
    Loan pay-down fund instalment 2 = 470-01
    Payment received from surveys: 2015 = 320 2016 = 210 2017 = 304 2018 = 403
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 4th Aug 18, 1:14 PM
    • 58,871 Posts
    • 244,311 Thanks
    beanielou
    Glad that you had a good wee sleep
    Sorry about the migraines.
    Agree with you that they will be stress sadly.
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 12 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.***
    ***Keep plodding***
    Out of debt, out of danger. ***Be the difference.***
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 4th Aug 18, 1:34 PM
    • 7,396 Posts
    • 16,333 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    If your DH is owed a share from the house presumably you will be deducting the amounts you have lent him since you split? Hope it gets sorted soon.
    Debt free and mortgage free and early retiree. Living the dream

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages and Endowments, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 4th Aug 18, 6:58 PM
    • 4,247 Posts
    • 36,401 Thanks
    crazy_cat_lady
    So... dd is almost 14, and if you ask a 14 year old girl what she wants to do, there is an almost certain answer - shopping. Thankfully she's a savvy shopper - we looked round lots of shops and she chose carefully, getting a pair of pink jeans that she loved that were reduced from 39.99 to 11.99 in G@P, with a further 20% off. I bought myself a new pair of trainers in preparation for endless days of walking around Alton Towers over the next couple of weeks. They were reduced from 107 to 32, and it was all paid from the clothing budget. She also used her own pocket money to buy some fancy frappucino at St@rbucks.
    We picked ds up on our way home (I think Sunderland won) - he's shattered because his dad has had him doing lots of walking about.
    While I had the three of us together, I discussed with them about going away next week. I don't feel well prepared for it yet - it's paid for in terms of the park and the accommodation, but we've not made a decision on what time we're leaving Tuesday, where we'll stop on the way down, what we'll do foodwise while we're away etc. At the moment it's just putting ideas in their heads but I would like to feel more prepared than I do.
    I haven't thought much about the money thing today, which is strange. I'm still budgeting religiously on YNAB but the pension stuff is gone for now. Good. I am writing down every penny I give him ES, don't worry about that. He did make a bit of a comment about playing awkward if he felt like it, but I have plenty of awkward to play in return if it goes that way. I doubt that it will...
    December in the Tardis #16 nsd = 8 New life = new debt
    DFD #1: 6 Nov 15 - paid 28,447
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 4th Aug 18, 7:05 PM
    • 58,871 Posts
    • 244,311 Thanks
    beanielou
    Hate to say but be prepared for awkward
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 12 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.***
    ***Keep plodding***
    Out of debt, out of danger. ***Be the difference.***
    • Chrystal
    • By Chrystal 4th Aug 18, 7:37 PM
    • 549 Posts
    • 3,631 Thanks
    Chrystal
    And make sure he signs to say he has received the money you've given him.... just in case.
    I Believe.....
    That it isn't always enough, to be forgiven by others.
    Sometimes, you have to learn to forgive yourself.
    • Honeysucklelou2
    • By Honeysucklelou2 4th Aug 18, 9:18 PM
    • 1,240 Posts
    • 5,944 Thanks
    Honeysucklelou2
    Or can you make any payments by bank transfer with a reference so that there is traceability, should it ever be needed.
    paydbx #93 929.08/8,000.
    Loan 17k - paid off in Aug 2017. Home improvement loans 3342 March 2017. 2994 in Aug 18
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 4th Aug 18, 9:38 PM
    • 58,871 Posts
    • 244,311 Thanks
    beanielou
    Or can you make any payments by bank transfer with a reference so that there is traceability, should it ever be needed.
    Originally posted by Honeysucklelou2
    Good idea
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 12 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.***
    ***Keep plodding***
    Out of debt, out of danger. ***Be the difference.***
    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 5th Aug 18, 9:43 AM
    • 4,247 Posts
    • 36,401 Thanks
    crazy_cat_lady
    Already ahead of you on that one. Every penny he's had has gone electronically from my account to his so there is most definitely a paper trail (or an electronic one at least). I am prepared for awkward, but I did remind him that the longer it takes and the more we fight, the less there will be at the end and the happier the solicitors will be. He seemed to agree, but there's nothing much else I can do other than to wait.
    Had another pretty good night of sleep last night - although I have noticed that I keep waking up with my shoulders all hunched up and uncomfortable. That is probably stress related as well - I feel like I've been on a quest to find a decent pillow for years without any joy... so it probably is me. However, I am going to bite the bullet and try another pillow. This will be the last one though.
    Off to tutoring this morning and then off to my mams for a free feed and a catch up with her. After a couple of weeks of not doing very much I have busy times ahead, which will be nice but I need to keep manageable and not wipe myself out. I have written my list of things to do and updated the annoying jobs list as well. Need to make sure I stay on top of everything there.
    Right, I'm off to get dressed and make a start on the day. I'll report in later. Have a good one everyone
    December in the Tardis #16 nsd = 8 New life = new debt
    DFD #1: 6 Nov 15 - paid 28,447
    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 6th Aug 18, 9:37 AM
    • 4,247 Posts
    • 36,401 Thanks
    crazy_cat_lady
    Morning all
    So the busy but fun times have begun. Yesterday was the start of it - I was out and about from 10 until 5 - tutoring (which pays for my cleaner), then off to my mam's. She'd made ham with sweet potato chips for lunch so I felt very saintly indeed. It was nice to see her and catch up, and as always she worries about me and how I'm coping with the current situation. Truth is I'm very up and down, overall I know it's good but my heart is more broken than I thought it was. I thought I'd done all my grieving for our marriage years ago but it's all very final all of a sudden. I've felt really nostalgic over the past few weeks, listening to old music that I really enjoyed 'back in the day' and wondering how I got so old all of a sudden
    Anyway. That sounds more miserable than it should - I'm ok in myself. No point in regretting things that you've done and can't be changed, just pick up and move on. I'm off out to visit a friend today, so 2 days of adult company She's almost an hour away so we don't see each other as often as I'd like, but I always feel better after I've seen her so fingers crossed. I also need to get a couple of things while I'm out and about. Nothing big but a couple of things we need for our trip away. We usually go out for lunch but then just chill and catch up. I haven't seen her since I separated from ex (but we have talked lots) but I expect I'll get a big cuddle, which is much needed. So it'll be a mostly mse day
    Then I have a coaching call with my new trainer to talk about eating well while I'm away. Only I would decide to take on a new healthy lifestyle the week before I go on holiday but I tend to do well when I'm held accountable to anyone other than myself. And if I keep making excuses then I'll never start.
    Then I need to pack up for the early start tomorrow morning. The kids want to leave at 7am! But I bet I'm not the one who isn't ready at 7am tomorrow... I've written a list of what I need to pack so it shouldn't take too long, and it's only 3 days as well (famous last words).
    Right - best get on then.
    December in the Tardis #16 nsd = 8 New life = new debt
    DFD #1: 6 Nov 15 - paid 28,447
    • juliejim
    • By juliejim 6th Aug 18, 10:53 AM
    • 7,575 Posts
    • 151,596 Thanks
    juliejim
    Have a great day today and a wonderful few days away
    NST #10 Steps 7K 2/30 10K 2/12 5 a day 3/30 NSD 0/20
    MBNA 5500
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 6th Aug 18, 11:14 AM
    • 58,871 Posts
    • 244,311 Thanks
    beanielou
    Enjoy your day
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 12 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.***
    ***Keep plodding***
    Out of debt, out of danger. ***Be the difference.***
    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 6th Aug 18, 8:34 PM
    • 4,247 Posts
    • 36,401 Thanks
    crazy_cat_lady
    Evening
    Had a lovely day, as I suspected. It's always lovely to catch up with my friend - I feel better just being in her company. Some people are just like that aren't they? I didn't stay for as long as I usually do, because she's not so well within herself and didn't feel up to a long visit, but we had a good few hours. Got a bite to eat (all within my calorie allowance) and did the little bit of shopping as planned - all in budget. Also got ds his PE shoes as he quite liked a pair he saw.
    So I drove home about 4pm, had a chat with my new trainer as planned, popped to Mr T to fuel up the car and got drinks and snacks for the journey down. Then did my exercise session (not fun - I will never, ever enjoy doing exercise) and had something to eat. I have packed my clothes, sorted out all of the toiletries and snacks and drinks - just waiting for the kids to sort their clothes and add to the bag. They are excited about going but not yet excited enough to sort their clothes out. Considering they want to leave at 7am they need to get a wriggle on.
    December in the Tardis #16 nsd = 8 New life = new debt
    DFD #1: 6 Nov 15 - paid 28,447
    • foxgloves
    • By foxgloves 6th Aug 18, 8:49 PM
    • 4,469 Posts
    • 23,995 Thanks
    foxgloves
    Have a lovely time CCL!
    I'm with you on the exercise. I like walking (but not further than about 4 miles max), cycling (as in getting from A to B), dancing to my CDs & gardening. And that's it!
    F x
    Money can't jump out of your purse on its own so ask 'Can I borrow one, make one, grow one, bake one, re-purpose or recycle, acquire it for free?' Yes? Then put that purse away & keep your money because little savings grow!
    Loan pay-down fund instalment 2 = 470-01
    Payment received from surveys: 2015 = 320 2016 = 210 2017 = 304 2018 = 403
    • Chrystal
    • By Chrystal 6th Aug 18, 10:43 PM
    • 549 Posts
    • 3,631 Thanks
    Chrystal
    Hope you have a fabulous time while you're away and come back feeling refreshed and ready for the fray.
    I Believe.....
    That it isn't always enough, to be forgiven by others.
    Sometimes, you have to learn to forgive yourself.
    • Eager_Elephant
    • By Eager_Elephant 7th Aug 18, 6:43 AM
    • 4,506 Posts
    • 26,303 Thanks
    Eager_Elephant
    Hope you have a fab break with the kids - see you in a few days!!!!
    Ninja Saving Turtle No. 1 for August
    NSD - 9/15
    (up to 12/8/18)
    My Diary is here - http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=2175629 (Eager Elephants Effective Everyday Excursion)
    • SpekySquarehead
    • By SpekySquarehead 7th Aug 18, 8:45 AM
    • 2,209 Posts
    • 18,141 Thanks
    SpekySquarehead
    CCL, enjoy your well deserved time away. With all that you've been through so far in 2018, you and the kids are truly deserving of some time away and to switch off from it all. I hope the journey fly's in and you have a wonderful time.
    Debt Free Date: 29/09/16
    • apple muncher
    • By apple muncher 7th Aug 18, 8:56 AM
    • 8,056 Posts
    • 61,494 Thanks
    apple muncher
    Wishing you a lovely time away with your kiddies xx
    NST December in the TARDIS #1; NSD 6/15; Shlder Ex 6/21 ; craft 2(261); remove (669)
    2018 Pay off: 4641; 2
    018 sell 98.10; WLOSW 3/10

    Mortgage 18,634 (01/14: 78,201; 01/15: 59,629; 01/16: 39,915; 01/17: 27,295; 01/18 23,143) MFWDate Dec 2018
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