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  • FIRST POST
    • MSE Naomi
    • By MSE Naomi 17th Apr 18, 3:28 PM
    • 30Posts
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    MSE Naomi
    MMD: Should I split my winnings and risk my wedding?
    • #1
    • 17th Apr 18, 3:28 PM
    MMD: Should I split my winnings and risk my wedding? 17th Apr 18 at 3:28 PM
    This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

    A friend and I went to the races and he won about £50, which he split with me. On a more recent visit together I won a much larger amount - enough to pay for my forthcoming wedding. He says I should split it with him, but then I won't be able to afford my wedding. Can I get away with giving him a token amount?

    Unfortunately the MSE team can't always answer money moral dilemma questions as contributions are often emailed in or suggested in person. They are intended to be enjoyed as a point of debate and discussed at face value.

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    Last edited by MSE Luke; 17-04-2018 at 6:07 PM.
Page 1
    • gettingtheresometime
    • By gettingtheresometime 17th Apr 18, 3:37 PM
    • 4,017 Posts
    • 10,176 Thanks
    gettingtheresometime
    • #2
    • 17th Apr 18, 3:37 PM
    • #2
    • 17th Apr 18, 3:37 PM
    yet another mmd where the back story is key
    Lloyds OD / Natwest OD / PO CC / Wescott / Argos Card cleared thanks to the 1 debt v 100 day challenge


    Next on the list - JD Williams
    • pollypenny
    • By pollypenny 17th Apr 18, 3:44 PM
    • 24,702 Posts
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    pollypenny
    • #3
    • 17th Apr 18, 3:44 PM
    • #3
    • 17th Apr 18, 3:44 PM
    Yes.

    Next question?
    Member #14 of SKI-ers club

    Words, words, they're all we have to go by!.

    (Pity they are mangled by this autocorrect!)
    • hazyjo
    • By hazyjo 17th Apr 18, 3:48 PM
    • 10,889 Posts
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    hazyjo
    • #4
    • 17th Apr 18, 3:48 PM
    • #4
    • 17th Apr 18, 3:48 PM
    *Yes I am now aware my figure was wrong - oops lol. That'll teach me...*


    If you have previously agreed to split winnings, then split.


    If not, and maybe he just shared a nice meal with you or something when he won, then I'd give a (generous) token. I find it hard to believe he won it and just gave you half the cash for being there. Or are/were you in a relationship with him? I could understand that - him saying 'go treat yourself' or something.


    However, I don't think you 'not being able to afford your wedding' comes into it. What were you planning to do to pay for it before you won the money?!


    If you won enough on a horse race to pay for an entire wedding, you must have had the money to put down a hefty bet. Even £100 on a race at 100/1 would only be giving you a grand. I wouldn't dream of spending that on a rank outsider so either it was a favourite at rubbish odds and a massive bet, or you picked winners all day.


    I usually give these dilemmas the benefit of the doubt, but this one is stretching the realms of reality...
    Last edited by hazyjo; 18-04-2018 at 10:29 AM.
    2018 wins: Single Malt Whisky; theatre tickets; festival tickets; year of gin(!); shoes
    • BBH123
    • By BBH123 17th Apr 18, 3:50 PM
    • 748 Posts
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    BBH123
    • #5
    • 17th Apr 18, 3:50 PM
    • #5
    • 17th Apr 18, 3:50 PM
    Depends if you want to keep him as a friend


    Pay up and you'll resent him


    Not pay up and he'll resent you.


    If however you both have an understanding that all winnings are split then yes you should split it.
    Save 12k in 2018 challenge #14
    3700/ 10000

    Saving for Christmas 2018 - £1 a day challenge
    #15 120/365
    • Ozzuk
    • By Ozzuk 17th Apr 18, 4:08 PM
    • 1,436 Posts
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    Ozzuk
    • #6
    • 17th Apr 18, 4:08 PM
    • #6
    • 17th Apr 18, 4:08 PM
    Um yes, you obviously didn't worry when you took his money, precedent is set.
    • Mojisola
    • By Mojisola 17th Apr 18, 4:10 PM
    • 29,807 Posts
    • 76,394 Thanks
    Mojisola
    • #7
    • 17th Apr 18, 4:10 PM
    • #7
    • 17th Apr 18, 4:10 PM
    On a more recent visit together I won a much larger amount - enough to pay for my forthcoming wedding.

    He says I should split it with him, but then I won't be able to afford my wedding.
    Originally posted by MSE Naomi
    How were you planning to pay for the wedding before you won this money?
    • Pollycat
    • By Pollycat 17th Apr 18, 5:37 PM
    • 20,723 Posts
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    Pollycat
    • #8
    • 17th Apr 18, 5:37 PM
    • #8
    • 17th Apr 18, 5:37 PM
    How were you planning to pay for the wedding before you won this money?
    Originally posted by Mojisola
    That's my question too.
    A bit of a nonsensical MMD.
    • lincroft1710
    • By lincroft1710 17th Apr 18, 6:18 PM
    • 11,024 Posts
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    lincroft1710
    • #9
    • 17th Apr 18, 6:18 PM
    • #9
    • 17th Apr 18, 6:18 PM
    A bit of a nonsensical MMD.
    Originally posted by Pollycat
    Aren't most of them?
    • z1a
    • By z1a 17th Apr 18, 6:40 PM
    • 1,470 Posts
    • 1,418 Thanks
    z1a
    If you have previously agreed to split winnings, then split.


    If not, and maybe he just shared a nice meal with you or something when he won, then I'd give a (generous) token. I find it hard to believe he won it and just gave you half the cash for being there. Or are/were you in a relationship with him? I could understand that - him saying 'go treat yourself' or something.


    However, I don't think you 'not being able to afford your wedding' comes into it. What were you planning to do to pay for it before you won the money?!


    If you won enough on a horse race to pay for an entire wedding, you must have had the money to put down a hefty bet. Even £100 on a race at 100/1 would only be giving you a grand. I wouldn't dream of spending that on a rank outsider so either it was a favourite at rubbish odds and a massive bet, or you picked winners all day.


    I usually give these dilemmas the benefit of the doubt, but this one is stretching the realms of reality...
    Originally posted by hazyjo
    Maths not your strong point then?
    £100 at 100/1 = £10k.
    • Tigsteroonie
    • By Tigsteroonie 17th Apr 18, 6:43 PM
    • 22,853 Posts
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    Tigsteroonie
    Yes. You split it before when on a trip to the races together. You split it again now.

    How would you feel if he had won £10k on the horses with you winning zero, and he said "Finally I can take my entire family to Florida on holiday". Would you have accepted a token payment?

    [Sorry. Wrote that as if it was a genuine thread.]
    Last edited by Tigsteroonie; 17-04-2018 at 6:49 PM.
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    • rach_k
    • By rach_k 17th Apr 18, 6:50 PM
    • 1,304 Posts
    • 2,232 Thanks
    rach_k
    If you had an agreement to split it 50/50, I think you should, but only if you actually spoke the words. Accepting his gift previously isn't the same as making the agreement, I don't think. If he wants to argue that it is, you could argue that the agreement was to give the other person £25 (or whatever exactly he gave you).

    In the interest of being a nice person and keeping your friend, I'd probably give him a nice chunk of money he'd be happy to have, but not 50% if it means that much to you. Say you won £10K, give him £500 - enough to treat himself or make a dent in debts or whatever.
    • Kazt2006
    • By Kazt2006 17th Apr 18, 7:34 PM
    • 11 Posts
    • 34 Thanks
    Kazt2006
    £100 at 100/1 would actually given you a return of £10,100 including the original stake!!!
    • z1a
    • By z1a 17th Apr 18, 7:53 PM
    • 1,470 Posts
    • 1,418 Thanks
    z1a
    £100 at 100/1 would actually given you a return of £10,100 including the original stake!!!
    Originally posted by Kazt2006
    I think we all know that, maybe apart from hazyjo.
    • cjdavies
    • By cjdavies 17th Apr 18, 10:35 PM
    • 3,546 Posts
    • 3,833 Thanks
    cjdavies
    This is awkward, if he didn't split his winnings would have been easy.

    For future reference for anyone, always discuss splitting winnings or not before.
    • hazyjo
    • By hazyjo 18th Apr 18, 12:04 AM
    • 10,889 Posts
    • 14,350 Thanks
    hazyjo
    Oops sorry I completely messed those numbers up as had been fiddling around with several and lost the plot
    2018 wins: Single Malt Whisky; theatre tickets; festival tickets; year of gin(!); shoes
    • takethemon
    • By takethemon 18th Apr 18, 1:01 AM
    • 111 Posts
    • 63 Thanks
    takethemon
    If you accepted half of his previous winnings then you should give him half of yours.
    • REJP
    • By REJP 18th Apr 18, 1:30 AM
    • 50 Posts
    • 58 Thanks
    REJP
    Split winnings
    Did you split the stake cost? If so, he gets half.
    Incidentally, I make £100 at 100/1 £10,000, not a grand.
    • REJP
    • By REJP 18th Apr 18, 1:33 AM
    • 50 Posts
    • 58 Thanks
    REJP
    If you have always shared stakes and winnings, give him half. The wedding has nothing to do with it. If you are getting married, don't gamble your wedding money, it is stupidity. And the road to ruin.
    • REJP
    • By REJP 18th Apr 18, 1:36 AM
    • 50 Posts
    • 58 Thanks
    REJP
    Split winnings
    It is not £10,100 profit. Regular gamblers know there is a gambling tax to deduct from winnings.
    Don't gamble your wedding money, very unwise.
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