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  • FIRST POST
    • MXW
    • By MXW 14th Apr 18, 9:25 AM
    • 510Posts
    • 228Thanks
    MXW
    Break up and feeling worthless
    • #1
    • 14th Apr 18, 9:25 AM
    Break up and feeling worthless 14th Apr 18 at 9:25 AM
    I've been in a relationship with my ex for over 2 years on and off (we are both middle aged). When I met him he had been single for a long time (as had I), and he was very nervous about dating and all that goes with it, which I found quite endearing.

    We got on really well, despite being very different. He worked away a lot, and his life consisted of work, seeing his kids at the weekend, and his local pub for a few drinks. When he met me, he said I gave him a new lease of life and made him feel like a teenager.

    Things couldn't have been better, then on my birthday, he just upped on left my house with no explanation and went home. I rang him the next day, but couldn't get anything out of him...he went from Caring about me, to not being sure.... amongst a lot of other things. I asked him to make a decision about our relationship, he said he needed time, I said I wasn't going to be messed about, and did he want to end it...he said yes......and then blocked me!

    A few months later he contacted me again, said how much he missed me, he had been a fool, and that he was new to the relationship game and had been scared. We got back together, and again things were great. We booked a holiday (on his suggestion) for the weekend.....then he ended the relationship again, by text saying he wasn't feeling the love he thought he should be feeling.....then blocked me!

    Shortly after that he contacted me again, we got back together, he suggested a weekend away....then he ended the relationship again....and blocked me!

    Again, he contacted me, said he had though about me constantly, couldn't get me off of his mind, so he must have feelings for me. We got back together again, and for the last year have been really happy. He didn't put a foot wrong, and told me I had given him so much confidence and he wasn't that person anymore. He was very loving and caring, I couldn't have asked for me.

    We went away last weekend, had a fabulous time. Came home on the Sunday, he rang me Sunday night, everything was fine. It was my birthday Monday he text me to say he was missing me...then rang later, and I thought he was a bit strange.

    To cut a long story short (there's a lot to it), he's ended the relationship by text again! I rang him, and he switched his phone off. He then text me and ended the relationship, citing the same reasons. I replied....you can imagine what I said... he's now blocked me from his phone and all social media.

    There's no going back for me now, I was a fool to have taken him back before. This may sound stupid, but he's not a bad person.... just can't handle confrontation!

    He has plenty of friends...but his lifestyle now will be going to work, having a few pints with his mates at the local, and that will be it!

    The point of me writing this, is because he's made me feel so worthless. Despite me taking him back... I am a very strong person, but this has knocked my duck off.

    After all this time, how can a mature man not have the guts to tell me to my face that it's over. This has come completely out of the blue. Only at the weekend was he holding my hand over a table at a restaurant telling me how much he thinks about it.

    This is not about him meeting anyone else.... he'll just go back into his normal routine.... ironically he only told me recently that he couldn't imagine me not being in his life.
Page 3
    • Primrose
    • By Primrose 15th Apr 18, 9:00 PM
    • 8,220 Posts
    • 28,642 Thanks
    Primrose
    I thought I recognised this situation from your previous posts. .
    All I can say is !!!8220;think what a fine dance this guy would have given you if the pair of you had ever got round to getting married! At least yiu,ve been spared that grief.

    This guy is a serious non committer and has major psychological problems. You are not his mother, his nurse or his psychologist, none of whom I suspect would be capable of resolving his problems.

    You sound a very kind and supporting person and there is no need to feel worthless. You,ve gone beyond the call of duty to ray and make this relationship work. The loss is his. Walk away feeling proud that you!!!8217;ve proved to be the more emotionally balanced person in this affair. It,s his loss. I hope you find somebody else who better deserves all the kndness and patience he will now be missing out on.

    Please don,t be tempted to fall for the same trick again however much you might still miss him in the short term. I think he!!!8217;s really proved that this leopard is totally incapable of changing his spots.
    Last edited by Primrose; 15-04-2018 at 9:02 PM.
    • Loz01
    • By Loz01 16th Apr 18, 12:43 PM
    • 1,623 Posts
    • 3,639 Thanks
    Loz01
    Yikes. Dont let any man treat you like that, being on your own in solitary confinement would be better than being treated and used like that. Block him permanently, if he comes crawling back then tell him where to go. You dont deserve to be picked up and dropped time after time.

    Also lift the bar a little, you should be able to be 100% ok with being on your own before you get with anyone new. If someone isnt bringing positivity into your life and making it better, they're not for you.
    When your lifestyle requires several deaths a week but you think the people eating plants have a superiority complex...
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