Your browser isn't supported
It looks like you're using an old web browser. To get the most out of the site and to ensure guides display correctly, we suggest upgrading your browser now. Download the latest:

Welcome to the MSE Forums

We're home to a fantastic community of MoneySavers but anyone can post. Please exercise caution & report spam, illegal, offensive or libellous posts/messages: click "report" or email forumteam@.

Search
  • FIRST POST
    • ThisIsMe14
    • By ThisIsMe14 12th Apr 18, 10:00 PM
    • 1Posts
    • 0Thanks
    ThisIsMe14
    Where to start??
    • #1
    • 12th Apr 18, 10:00 PM
    Where to start?? 12th Apr 18 at 10:00 PM
    Please help. Iím drowning and been burying my head in the sand. I had a LBM last week when I logged on to CC and thought I best shuffle again. Iíve become the clich! that everyone mentions on this board (Iíve lurkeda while, never fully admitting my problem) and was also declined for a refinance loan.

    It all started when I took debt on for my partner (first rule do not take on someone debt), I tried to help with 0% balance transfer etc. However he continued to spend so I shifted it back!

    Iíve foolishly ended up in the same position with regards overspending and it crept up so I took out a consolidation loan (rule number 2 donít do this as you are tempted to continue to spend) and yup I then spent a bit here n there back on CC.

    Iím now in a frightening place where Iím paying payments but all minimum but itís leavng me with nothing each month and end up using CC to food shop etc. Iím in counselling for anxiety and depression but Iím so ashamed to admit a lot of my mental health issues are from the debt.

    Low down is....
    Barclayloan £12260.51
    M&S credit card £3200
    Halifax CC £6793.96 (3500 of this is husbands but on paper itís in my name so my debt)
    Very £272
    Next £36

    Husband has his own debts and he just says it will work out, just need to stop spending but Iím constantly saying but we are at stage where CC is being used for food shopping! He suggested trying to free some money from the mortgage but Iíd rather leave that well alone.

    Iím doing a SOA and already reduced gas/electricity abd the Virgin bill is being cut drastically tomorrow too.

    Where do I start? Do I contact creditors myself? Do I contact Stepchange? What will happen to my credit score as I assume a good on is vital? Is it possible to sort and pay this while still having some kind of life ( please please please donít pounce/judge on me, I know Iíve done it and itís to be paid but I still would like to the odd treat for my kids, Iím watching my friend on a DMP and she is on her knees with it).

    Itís took a whole lot of anxiety to post this.......
Page 1
    • mumofthetwins
    • By mumofthetwins 12th Apr 18, 10:14 PM
    • 1,018 Posts
    • 4,005 Thanks
    mumofthetwins
    • #2
    • 12th Apr 18, 10:14 PM
    • #2
    • 12th Apr 18, 10:14 PM
    Hi
    I'm pretty newish here but from what I know if you post a SOA someone will defo come along and help ... it's a great group full of support x

    Lisa x
    DFW
    May £1885/£23042
    April £1266.27/£25843.54 STF £1500/£1500
    NSD 7/15
    MFW OP 2018 £400
    GC MAY £78.84/£250 April £149.35/£250
    • ramblehan
    • By ramblehan 12th Apr 18, 10:58 PM
    • 592 Posts
    • 1,217 Thanks
    ramblehan
    • #3
    • 12th Apr 18, 10:58 PM
    • #3
    • 12th Apr 18, 10:58 PM
    Hi, you are absolutely in the right place and doing the right thing.

    There is a debt remedy tool that is often recommended (StepChange) to help you identify best way forward.

    For me that was DMP - and it has been absolutely fine - and exactly what I needed to get things sorted. I self-manage and control what I pay back so now my budget allows us to live and budget responsibly (and by have a life I do mean do nice things in moderation)
    By self managing, you can be in charge of what you pay back and when. Downside is that your credit score falls through the floor - but that's what this is all about - fixing a problem, changing mindset and living differently.

    The DMP sticky was a lifeline for me when I was figuring out a plan - If DMP is the recommended way for you, it is worth reading it from start to finish (and perhaps going back to the previous one too)

    The other thing that really helped me was YNAB - a budgeting tool and money ethos - it does cost money so you need to work out if it's worth it for you (can do a free trial) but this has definitely helped turn our finances around and ensure we pay for the basics and start to save things up.

    Sounds as if you are already playing the game in terms of getting your bills as low as possible etc which is great. However I do think you and your other half need to get honest and open about exactly how much, and what this means for you as a partnership. If that can't happen - then do what you need to do for you and your well being.

    Keep posting - start a diary? It's a great way to get support and stay motivated.

    XRamble
    01/03/18: £21,270 DFD: Dec 2035
    2018 challenge - 148.64/£3,670 (4.2%) as of 25.04.18
    Sign up for YNAB via my link if you fancy it - thank you!
    • Fireflyaway
    • By Fireflyaway 13th Apr 18, 4:31 PM
    • 1,730 Posts
    • 1,880 Thanks
    Fireflyaway
    • #4
    • 13th Apr 18, 4:31 PM
    • #4
    • 13th Apr 18, 4:31 PM
    Do a written budget so you know exactly what's coming in and out and then work out who you can pay and how much. You could approach a debt management plan but you could arrange it yourself. You don't have too many creditors so maybe try the snowball method? Check out dave ramsey on you tube.
    Importantly make sure you close your accounts. Your next balance is tiny but if you get tempted and splurge then you have just gone backwards. Close it.
    Just remember this isn't forever. You will get out the other end.
Welcome to our new Forum!

Our aim is to save you money quickly and easily. We hope you like it!

Forum Team Contact us

Live Stats

27Posts Today

2,786Users online

Martin's Twitter
  • It's the start of mini MSE's half term. In order to be the best daddy possible, Im stopping work and going off line? https://t.co/kwjvtd75YU

  • RT @shellsince1982: @MartinSLewis thanx to your email I have just saved myself £222 by taking a SIM only deal for £7.50 a month and keeping?

  • Today's Friday twitter poll: An important question, building on yesterday's important discussions: Which is the best bit of the pizza...

  • Follow Martin