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  • FIRST POST
    • dunroving
    • By dunroving 11th Apr 18, 10:07 AM
    • 964Posts
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    dunroving
    Etiquette for "talking online"?
    • #1
    • 11th Apr 18, 10:07 AM
    Etiquette for "talking online"? 11th Apr 18 at 10:07 AM
    I'm interested in people's opinions on the following. Bear in mind I am an old techie (60 yrs), and although I know one end of a computer from the other (especially compared to my younger peers, it seems), I'm not well up on social etiquette with virtual communications.

    So, I have a friend who sends me emails like "What do you think of this?" or "CHECK THIS VIDEO OUT!!!!"

    The fact her emails (especially the latter sort) usually get filtered out as spam, if I send a response, I get another immediate response, with another single sentence (if I'm lucky; usually just a phrase or another question). It quickly becomes apparent she wants to have a "conversation" via email.

    Am I wrong in thinking this isn't what email is typically intended for? To me, emails are electronic letters (oh yes, e-MAIL, duh). I don't want my email Inbox cluttered with dozens of emails that form part of an email conversation string.

    Ironically, she sent me a text message last week, and I commenced having a conversation via text message (which I hate; fat finger syndrome). After a while she exclaimed (via text), "OMG!!!" "too many texts!!!" I thought that was how texts were often used - for a conversation. Again, am I wrong?

    My thinking is that email is for letters and memo-type communications (albeit they often are informal/personal, not just for business use), whereas conversations exist via text message, Whatsapp, Messenger, etc.

    Am I completely out of touch?
    (Nearly) dunroving
Page 1
    • onomatopoeia99
    • By onomatopoeia99 11th Apr 18, 10:55 AM
    • 4,069 Posts
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    onomatopoeia99
    • #2
    • 11th Apr 18, 10:55 AM
    • #2
    • 11th Apr 18, 10:55 AM
    There is no standard about which medium to use for which kind of communication. Whatever suits the parties involved is fine, there is no requirement to be rigid about forms..

    I use facebook messenger for text "conversations" and rarely use SMS for anything. My evening class were using email for conversations with occasional SMS for urgent things (e.g. lessons cancelled on the day) but we've now moved to whatsup for almost everything except homework.
    INTP, nerd, libertarian and scifi geek.
    Home is where my books are.
    • suki1964
    • By suki1964 11th Apr 18, 11:06 AM
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    suki1964
    • #3
    • 11th Apr 18, 11:06 AM
    • #3
    • 11th Apr 18, 11:06 AM
    Oh I hate those emails and messages, the sender is soon put on block. I don't click on links full stop

    I have FB messenger to chat on. Can't remember the last time I sent an email or text

    There is of course the good old phone for long meaningful chats

    For me messenging, texting, is for quick questions or notices. Like I'll text, what time are we meeting, but I won't give a life history. Real conversations are for face to face or the phone. The rest is just stuff it's not worth taking the time to meet or call about
    if you lend someone 20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it
    • grumpycrab
    • By grumpycrab 11th Apr 18, 11:11 AM
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    grumpycrab
    • #4
    • 11th Apr 18, 11:11 AM
    • #4
    • 11th Apr 18, 11:11 AM
    but we've now moved to whatsup for almost everything
    Originally posted by onomatopoeia99
    The first time I heard somebody say whatsapp I asked if they meant whatsup. That was a while ago and its become ubiquitous.
    If you put your general location in your Profile, somebody here may be able to come and help you.
    • JJ Egan
    • By JJ Egan 11th Apr 18, 11:14 AM
    • 10,368 Posts
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    JJ Egan
    • #5
    • 11th Apr 18, 11:14 AM
    • #5
    • 11th Apr 18, 11:14 AM
    WRONG
    Text Whatsapp etc not everybody uses them or wants them .
    Email has a delete button .
    • John Gray
    • By John Gray 11th Apr 18, 11:16 AM
    • 5,165 Posts
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    John Gray
    • #6
    • 11th Apr 18, 11:16 AM
    • #6
    • 11th Apr 18, 11:16 AM
    Of course if one uses only email, the phone and SMS text messaging then the choice of a specific interpersonal communication mechanism is pleasing limited!

    Personally I hate people who want to exchange a series of text messages when it would be so much simpler to use the phone once!
    • RumRat
    • By RumRat 11th Apr 18, 1:33 PM
    • 2,715 Posts
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    RumRat
    • #7
    • 11th Apr 18, 1:33 PM
    • #7
    • 11th Apr 18, 1:33 PM
    WRONG
    Text Whatsapp etc not everybody uses them or wants them .
    Email has a delete button .
    Originally posted by JJ Egan
    What's wrong? The vast majority do use and want them though. So they aren't going anywhere soon.

    OP.
    As has been said, there is no special form. Brevity is usually the way of text messages born from the limitations of the early days.
    Having conversations using them is a bit unwieldy IMO, but, it's your choice when to engage or not.
    Emails, some write conversationally and others like a formal letter. Everything is so quick now that some do use them to have a discussion, but, it's not the best use of email.
    Just use as you want and don't worry about etiquette, it's long gone in communications.
    Drinking Rum before 10am makes you
    A PIRATE
    Not an Alcoholic...!
    • Farway
    • By Farway 11th Apr 18, 2:37 PM
    • 6,088 Posts
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    Farway
    • #8
    • 11th Apr 18, 2:37 PM
    • #8
    • 11th Apr 18, 2:37 PM
    Just be happy they are using grammatical sentences, paragraphs & punctuation
    • that
    • By that 11th Apr 18, 11:24 PM
    • 113 Posts
    • 59 Thanks
    that
    • #9
    • 11th Apr 18, 11:24 PM
    • #9
    • 11th Apr 18, 11:24 PM
    What's wrong? The vast majority do use and want them though. So they aren't going anywhere soon.
    Originally posted by RumRat
    Yeh, I use them. You can't expect privacy if it is run by facebook. Even though there is 'end to end encryption', and they do not log, but still they manage to collect 'meta data'.

    Use signal or telegram instead
    • dunroving
    • By dunroving 12th Apr 18, 8:57 AM
    • 964 Posts
    • 585 Thanks
    dunroving
    Of course if one uses only email, the phone and SMS text messaging then the choice of a specific interpersonal communication mechanism is pleasing limited!

    Personally I hate people who want to exchange a series of text messages when it would be so much simpler to use the phone once!
    Originally posted by John Gray
    Wow, "hate" is such a strong word; ironically in the example I provided, the complainant is the person who always instigates the series of text messages (usually late at night, when the last thing I want is a conversation). I haven't even mastered the double-thumb texting strategy so texting is almost literally a pain.

    What's wrong? The vast majority do use and want them though. So they aren't going anywhere soon.

    OP.
    As has been said, there is no special form. Brevity is usually the way of text messages born from the limitations of the early days.
    Having conversations using them is a bit unwieldy IMO, but, it's your choice when to engage or not.
    Emails, some write conversationally and others like a formal letter. Everything is so quick now that some do use them to have a discussion, but, it's not the best use of email.
    Just use as you want and don't worry about etiquette, it's long gone in communications.
    Originally posted by RumRat
    Although I'm a former teacher of English, I'm not bothered by the use of email for informal messages so much as for single-sentence or single-phrase rapid-fire "conversations".

    Although when my 66-year-old friend writes things like "Waddya fink?", it makes me cringe just a little.

    Just be happy they are using grammatical sentences, paragraphs & punctuation
    Originally posted by Farway
    Ha! I wish!
    (Nearly) dunroving
    • GunJack
    • By GunJack 12th Apr 18, 10:06 AM
    • 10,068 Posts
    • 7,553 Thanks
    GunJack
    re: using a 1-minute phonecall over a string of text/fb/whapp messages...

    the 1-min call would be my preferred choice every time, but you just try getting younger people to do that!! I honestly think a lot of them have lost the ability to hold a proper conversation of any duration, and that's not good

    rant over.....
    ......Gettin' There, Wherever There is......
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