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  • FIRST POST
    • domdondom
    • By domdondom 10th Apr 18, 9:58 PM
    • 8Posts
    • 7Thanks
    domdondom
    Do people envy people of similar age who look younger?
    • #1
    • 10th Apr 18, 9:58 PM
    Do people envy people of similar age who look younger? 10th Apr 18 at 9:58 PM
    Why is it people react with astonishment when someone looks younger than their age?

    I am 37 but everyone thinks I look in my twenties. It does actually annoy me when they do it. Yesterday was my birthday, and at work my team leader bought a happy 37th cake.

    I have no shame in telling my age, although I feel awkward when someone shows disbelief. Why would I lie to make myself older? It doesn't make sense.

    It does appear to me, it is socially unacceptable to look old these days. Are we obsessed with looking younger?
Page 2
    • NeilCr
    • By NeilCr 11th Apr 18, 11:52 AM
    • 1,542 Posts
    • 2,028 Thanks
    NeilCr
    I'm coming up to 65 and a lot of people say I look (and certainly act!) much younger. It's nice but nothing more. . For all of that my knees and back tell me my true age.

    In some ways it would be helpful to look my age. I might get more people giving me a seat on the bus and train!
    • jwil
    • By jwil 11th Apr 18, 2:27 PM
    • 8,401 Posts
    • 25,492 Thanks
    jwil
    Many people expressed astonishment when I turned 40 earlier this year. I didn't dare ask whether they thought I was younger or older
    "If you can dream it, you can do it". Walt Disney
    • WibblyGirly
    • By WibblyGirly 11th Apr 18, 2:36 PM
    • 357 Posts
    • 640 Thanks
    WibblyGirly
    Most people assume I'm in my early 20's when I'm almost 30. I also get asked for ID all the time. I don't mind. I think I just have good genetics as my mum doesn't look her age either. I don't think anyone is envious of me either.
    • Gloomendoom
    • By Gloomendoom 11th Apr 18, 2:40 PM
    • 13,752 Posts
    • 18,032 Thanks
    Gloomendoom
    I got ID'd buying a bottle of wine when I was 47. Apparently, it was store policy if a customer looked under 40.

    I was more exasperated than flattered.
    Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience. - Mark Twain
    • 74jax
    • By 74jax 11th Apr 18, 2:49 PM
    • 4,627 Posts
    • 6,284 Thanks
    74jax
    I don't envy people my age looking younger, and I don't mind people older than me looking my age. But thinking about it, I don't know many people's ages, I just don't ask (or am asked)....

    I get on with people of all ages, from the new starters at college to those retiring, my daughter's friends and my husband's colleagues.

    If I think someone looks great I tell them, I comment on nail varnish 'what a great color', clothing 'i love that too, can I ask where you got it' and never am negative. I follow The Secret and life is a much nicer place with positive conversations and being happy for others etc.

    Envy doesn't play a part in my life.
    Forty and fabulous, well that's what my cards say....
    • sleepymans
    • By sleepymans 11th Apr 18, 3:22 PM
    • 700 Posts
    • 1,040 Thanks
    sleepymans
    Some people can flatter (lie) quite shamelessly....Id prefer not to give them any truck.
    Im at the age where I tell everyone my true age, whilst earnestly fishing for the compliments that I only get if they seek to flatter!!

    Its all !!!!!!!!
    Goddess
    • lisyloo
    • By lisyloo 11th Apr 18, 3:30 PM
    • 21,717 Posts
    • 10,499 Thanks
    lisyloo
    Are you male of female?
    Women over a certain age complain of being "invisible".
    It's natural and genetic that younger women are attractive as it's all about fertility.
    It's not just about being fancied but even in business, shops, restaurants etc. you can become invisible (in fact sometimes I think I could work for MI6).

    I'm female and I consider it a compliment because looking younger to me equals attractiveness. I don't want to be fancied in fact unwanted male attention is a curse, but I do want people to feel positively towards me and I think looking good is helpful.
    • Jox
    • By Jox 11th Apr 18, 3:37 PM
    • 1,279 Posts
    • 2,752 Thanks
    Jox
    I looked younger than my years probably up to I was 39 and then I had my son and 3 years of sleepless nights followed, coupled with working full time and all the stress of life caught up with me and I aged quite rapidly! It's all about trying to manage and minimise the bags under eyes and horrible dry thin hair these days!

    Now I have turned 43 and suddenly need glasses to read which is a shock for me as I always had fantastic eyesight my whole life up to this point.

    I was the flighty young thing at work for 20 yrs and now I feel like the school marm peering over my specs.

    Enjoy looking young while it lasts!
    • Starrystarrynight1
    • By Starrystarrynight1 11th Apr 18, 3:55 PM
    • 179 Posts
    • 313 Thanks
    Starrystarrynight1
    The opening post wasn't quite what I was expecting when I read the thread title!
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    I used to be Starrystarrynight on MSE, before a log in technical glitch!
    • Red-Squirrel
    • By Red-Squirrel 11th Apr 18, 4:10 PM
    • 2,555 Posts
    • 6,843 Thanks
    Red-Squirrel
    All those people who say others are surprised at their age and tell them they look younger, sorry to be blunt but you do realise they are being polite don't you? Think how you would react if somebody told you their age, you wouldn't say 'yes I thought you looked about that' would you?
    • Barny1979
    • By Barny1979 11th Apr 18, 4:13 PM
    • 4,009 Posts
    • 44,459 Thanks
    Barny1979
    All those people who say others are surprised at their age and tell them they look younger, sorry to be blunt but you do realise they are being polite don't you? Think how you would react if somebody told you their age, you wouldn't say 'yes I thought you looked about that' would you?
    Originally posted by Red-Squirrel
    Nope,up until now always looked young for my age.
    • Sea Shell
    • By Sea Shell 11th Apr 18, 4:14 PM
    • 671 Posts
    • 883 Thanks
    Sea Shell
    I'm fairly happy with what i see in the mirror most days. Much better once I've got my "face" on mind. I have the occasional "OMG how old do I look", and other days I feel 21 again!!

    I'm not bothered what other people think and I don't go fishing for complements. If someone did comment, in the "never!! your not that old" way....i'd take the compliment and move on. However if they said "sorry, I thought you were 50 already" I might re-think my skincare routine.
    " That pound I saved yesterday, is a pound I don't have to earn tomorrow "
    • hazyjo
    • By hazyjo 11th Apr 18, 4:51 PM
    • 10,335 Posts
    • 13,376 Thanks
    hazyjo
    All those people who say others are surprised at their age and tell them they look younger, sorry to be blunt but you do realise they are being polite don't you? Think how you would react if somebody told you their age, you wouldn't say 'yes I thought you looked about that' would you?
    Originally posted by Red-Squirrel
    Might be the case with some people. But people have a general idea about themselves surely - especially when they compare against friends of similar ages! We all see pics of ourselves and others now what with social media and selfies, and I know several look older than me! My best friend is 60 this year and I know people aren't being polite when they say she looks younger - every single one of my friends and family say it to me about her when she's not even there. People guess her to be in her 40s - and I swear to God she must have been frozen in time for a decade or two.


    I took a pic of me last weekend that looks tampered with and I'm too embarrassed to even put it on FB cos someone will think I've done some filter thing on it (I swear it's just good makeup!)! I also have a pic of me and a friend taken on Sat. She has lots of lines showing - can't see any on me! Not bigging myself up (will quite happily moan about my fat legs, bum and wobbly bits lol but I'm lucky to look younger despite eating badly, sleeping badly, drinking lots, ex-smoker, and 'partying hard' years ago!).


    A lot of it's about attitude and state of mind


    (I'll probably look 60 when I'm 50 :rofl
    2018 wins: Single Malt Whisky; theatre tickets; festival tickets; year of gin!
    • Jox
    • By Jox 11th Apr 18, 5:13 PM
    • 1,279 Posts
    • 2,752 Thanks
    Jox
    I took a pic of me last weekend that looks tampered with and I'm too embarrassed to even put it on FB cos someone will think I've done some filter thing on it (I swear it's just good makeup!)! I also have a pic of me and a friend taken on Sat. She has lots of lines showing - can't see any on me! Not bigging myself up (will quite happily moan about my fat legs, bum and wobbly bits lol but I'm lucky to look younger despite eating badly, sleeping badly, drinking lots, ex-smoker, and 'partying hard' years ago!).


    A lot of it's about attitude and state of mind


    (I'll probably look 60 when I'm 50 :rofl
    Originally posted by hazyjo
    I did all the drinking, smoking, partying years ago too, I think the extra fat kept me looking younger for longer, the skinny minnies can look a bit older without the padding behind the wrinkles and lines!
    • Silvertabby
    • By Silvertabby 11th Apr 18, 5:29 PM
    • 2,532 Posts
    • 3,486 Thanks
    Silvertabby
    I got ID'd buying a bottle of wine when I was 47. Apparently, it was store policy if a customer looked under 40.

    I was more exasperated than flattered.
    Originally posted by Gloomendoom
    I wanted to buy a bottle of paint brush cleaner from B&Q when I was in my mid 50s. The cashier wouldn't sell it to me until I said out loud 'I confirm that I am over 21'. I'm not kidding myself - it was just the cashier being a jobsworth.
    • NeilCr
    • By NeilCr 11th Apr 18, 5:33 PM
    • 1,542 Posts
    • 2,028 Thanks
    NeilCr
    All those people who say others are surprised at their age and tell them they look younger, sorry to be blunt but you do realise they are being polite don't you? Think how you would react if somebody told you their age, you wouldn't say 'yes I thought you looked about that' would you?
    Originally posted by Red-Squirrel
    I usually find that people who say things like this don't get any such compliments themselves.



    Only joking Red-Squirrel

    I am with hazyjo here. Especially, the bit about attitude and state of mind.

    I do look younger than my age. It doesn't bother me one way or another if I do, or not. If I mention my age, which I mostly don't, then practically everyone comments on it - friend, foe whoever - latest was the plumber doing some work in the house.

    Bottom line is that I am very happy and my health is good - apart from the arthritis, scoliosis and sciatica that is. . Which is all I am really bothered about.
    • hazyjo
    • By hazyjo 11th Apr 18, 5:35 PM
    • 10,335 Posts
    • 13,376 Thanks
    hazyjo
    I did all the drinking, smoking, partying years ago too, I think the extra fat kept me looking younger for longer, the skinny minnies can look a bit older without the padding behind the wrinkles and lines!
    Originally posted by Jox
    Haha I definitely agree with this! I think people who lose loads of weight look LOADS older than what they did before! That's my excuse to delay a diet anyway
    2018 wins: Single Malt Whisky; theatre tickets; festival tickets; year of gin!
    • Detroit
    • By Detroit 11th Apr 18, 7:01 PM
    • 748 Posts
    • 2,329 Thanks
    Detroit
    Whenever people find out how mean I am they react with astonishment as they always think I look MUCH nicer.

    I also look 5 inches taller, three stone lighter and several million richer than I actually am.

    It's so embarrassing.


    Put your hands up.
    • dekaspace
    • By dekaspace 11th Apr 18, 7:11 PM
    • 4,249 Posts
    • 3,728 Thanks
    dekaspace
    I can never tell if people are being kind as when I was in my teens was always told I looked about 4 years older and in my 20s the same, then when I hit late 20s I piled on the weight and got bags under my eyes, suddenly if people assume my age they "guess" early-mid 20s I have a hairline though no bald patches!
    • Fireflyaway
    • By Fireflyaway 11th Apr 18, 7:37 PM
    • 1,667 Posts
    • 1,781 Thanks
    Fireflyaway
    No I don't. I'm really not into appearance, there are far more pressing things than how old you look / how you dress / what make up you use.
    It's very unlikely someone is going to either guess your age at being much older ( they will say younger just to be polite) or when you announce your age, openly say they thought you look much older! Same when you get a new haircut. Even if it looks rubbish nobody is going to say that!
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