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    • Jw84
    • By Jw84 10th Apr 18, 4:09 PM
    • 4Posts
    • 1Thanks
    Feeling failed by our wedding venue
    • #1
    • 10th Apr 18, 4:09 PM
    Feeling failed by our wedding venue 10th Apr 18 at 4:09 PM

    I’m wondering if anyone could give me any advice and see if I’m doing the right thing standing my ground here.

    Me and my wife got married towards the end of last year and we paid a really significant amount to hire a venue, rent on site accommodation as did our friends and family which wasn’t cheap and used the caterers which they’d suggested to use as they work closely with them.

    Without going into too much detail we were very on the ball with everything and gave all the timings, details etc to the venue well in advance but they let us down is a number of ways. The venue wasn’t ready for us when we arrived to set up the day before as they’d taken a last minute wedding on the day before hand so we’re on the back foot, we suffered as a result and weren’t finished setting up until well into the evening when our family and friends had arrived. They had the wrong timings and if not picked up on by the bar manager at around 10:00pm the evening before hand we effectively would not have got married as they had the ceremony down as 15:00 instead of 13:00, same story for the wedding breakfast. They were overall very rude, nobody on site knew where any of our guests were staying so I spent most of my time dealing with this (effectively working for them for free) along with directing delivery drivers with stock orders around the site as they were struggling to get hold of and find the managers/owners as much as I was. Overall, a very operationally challenged venue.

    They were very un-apologetic about all of this. My wife (bride on her wedding day) was also a faced with a family member of the owners to tell her about an on-going family feud about the venue and money!! However this wasn’t as distressing about seeing her in tears the day before. Not at all what we expected, wanted or paid for.

    By the end of our stay we just wanted to get out of there, with absolutely no interest in returning. It felt so upsetting we couldn’t bring ourselves to get in touch with them to express how we felt as we genuinely expected them to come back with a snide response due to their manor in the first instance and didn’t want to re-live the ordeal.

    In the end I sent a lengthy overview of our experience to give them an opportunity to respond and do something to put it right rather than me just giving a public review.

    They did respond, apologise and offer us a night’s accommodation. Bearing in mind the thought of returning brings back some rather unfond memories I’ve declined and suggested that due to the multiple failings that I fail to see how our experience should be seen as a profit making excersise and we should be provided some form of refund.

    To be honest I don’t know what else I can really do as they’ve not responded in four weeks and I’m not holding out a lot of hope. I don’t know whether there’s anything I can do legally or otherwise. I’d rather not be one to give the place a slating on review sites etc and have it dealt with in a manor which resolves our issues, makes us feel better about our wedding day (currently it feels like a dark cloud because of the venue) and gives them some insight as to how they need to run a tighter ship.

    Any thoughts or advice would be greatly appreciated!
Page 2
    • hello007007
    • By hello007007 11th Apr 18, 10:33 PM
    • 103 Posts
    • 47 Thanks
    I havent read the whole thread. I am really sorry this happened on your wedding day - its not something you can easily forgive or forget.
    I would say if you paid more than £100 on a credit card. Put in a claim for a section 75 TBH you have nothing to lose. If the section 75 team ruled in your favour they would refund you something. If you not happy with the invesitgation by credit card company - section 75 team you can always go to the ombudsman. I am not expert - section 75 I believe also covers services so I think this issue will be covered.
    • HurdyGurdy
    • By HurdyGurdy 12th Apr 18, 8:48 PM
    • 872 Posts
    • 3,098 Thanks
    The purpose of a wedding day is just for two people to become Mrs and Mrs (or Mr and Mr / Mrs and Mrs - whatever)

    And that's what happened on your day. It was therefore a success.

    As has been said above, you WILL look back on it and laugh. It's a day you won't forget, and it's up to you and your wife to decide if you will see the funny side of it, or if you let it destroy your marriage due to allowing the dark cloud to define your life together.

    We still laugh, over 30 years later, at our organist who totally ignored the wedding music I had spent hours and hours agonising over, and played - well, actually we're still not sure what it was that I came down the aisle to! - his own versions or his own choices. Not mine.

    We laugh at the two bridesmaids muffling screams because of the spider that ran across in front of them as we were taking our vows

    We remember fondly that the vicar made the congregation stop singing one of the hymns as there were about four different blocks of singing from various parts of the church, all singing at different volumes, different speeds and I'm quite sure different hymns, and made us all start over again.

    We laugh like drains looking back and remembering the photographer wearing his slippers (because he'd had an operation on his foot the week before and couldn't wear shoes).

    All these things make our wedding day "ours". Not a clone of anyone else's day, and not the picture perfect, homogenised version of a wedding that is portrayed in the wedding magazines. They are unrealistic.

    Please don't let this "black cloud" BE your wedding day.

    Realistically - even if you were given £10,000 in compensation, it wouldn't change the day. If you are determined to look back on a "ruined" day, then no amount of compensation you receive will change that.

    Only you and your wife can decide whether you're going to have funny stories about your wedding day, or let it destroy the happiness that resulted from the biggest day of your lives.
    Last edited by HurdyGurdy; 12-04-2018 at 8:50 PM.
    • Savvy_Sue
    • By Savvy_Sue 13th Apr 18, 12:00 AM
    • 39,252 Posts
    • 36,215 Thanks
    We still laugh, over 30 years later, at our organist who totally ignored the wedding music I had spent hours and hours agonising over, and played - well, actually we're still not sure what it was that I came down the aisle to! - his own versions or his own choices. Not mine.
    Originally posted by HurdyGurdy
    You didn't ask for the theme tune to Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves did you, and get this, from the 50s? Those of you who don't instantly know why this would be funny should take a quick listen, and the rest of you should wallow in nostalgia - it only took the first few notes for DH to ask "Is that Robin Hood?"
    Still knitting!
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