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    • Phyzelda
    • By Phyzelda 7th Apr 18, 12:18 PM
    • 614Posts
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    Phyzelda
    Martial home with kids involved
    • #1
    • 7th Apr 18, 12:18 PM
    Martial home with kids involved 7th Apr 18 at 12:18 PM
    Ok, I have emailed my solicitor but still awaiting a reply, so not after concreate answers

    I split with my husband last year when my twins were very young. Due to my ill health and having the kids, I opted to move back in with my parents.

    I've recently discovered my ex hasn't been paying the mortgage and I'm in talks with the lenders, however I'm unsure of the best option, and was wondering if anyone could help:

    1 - sell the house - fight over the money involved, have to live off my money and therefore no deposit for a property for me and my kids

    2 - kick him out the house - as the kids are so young and find out the legal side of taking over the house - partly as I have the kids and partly because the marriage breakdown is 100% his fault - would I be able to do this?

    I can't keep living with my parents
Page 1
    • Tabbytabitha
    • By Tabbytabitha 7th Apr 18, 12:21 PM
    • 4,382 Posts
    • 6,969 Thanks
    Tabbytabitha
    • #2
    • 7th Apr 18, 12:21 PM
    • #2
    • 7th Apr 18, 12:21 PM
    What income are you living on at present?
    • TonyMMM
    • By TonyMMM 7th Apr 18, 12:24 PM
    • 2,758 Posts
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    TonyMMM
    • #3
    • 7th Apr 18, 12:24 PM
    • #3
    • 7th Apr 18, 12:24 PM
    Fault has nothing to do with any settlement.
    • elsien
    • By elsien 7th Apr 18, 12:24 PM
    • 17,411 Posts
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    elsien
    • #4
    • 7th Apr 18, 12:24 PM
    • #4
    • 7th Apr 18, 12:24 PM
    You can't kick him out -fault doesn't come into it. You can move back in but you can't make him leave.
    How long have you been married? You're likely going to need to do the full financial assessment (property, savings, pensions etc) of both your assets then decide what is a fair split. Can you afford to buy him out? If your name is on the mortgage and he's not paying it, you're equally liable for it.
    Have you looked at mediation?
    All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

    Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.
    • Phyzelda
    • By Phyzelda 7th Apr 18, 2:03 PM
    • 614 Posts
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    Phyzelda
    • #5
    • 7th Apr 18, 2:03 PM
    • #5
    • 7th Apr 18, 2:03 PM
    No fault doesn't but children do! And he's being a p....
    • Savvy_Sue
    • By Savvy_Sue 7th Apr 18, 2:29 PM
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    Savvy_Sue
    • #6
    • 7th Apr 18, 2:29 PM
    • #6
    • 7th Apr 18, 2:29 PM
    Bottom line is, could you afford to pay the mortgage by yourself, or not? Because it seems to me that if he's not paying the mortgage now, he's not likely to do so if he's not even living there.

    If you can't, then what elsien says is almost certainly your only option.
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    • peachyprice
    • By peachyprice 7th Apr 18, 5:52 PM
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    peachyprice
    • #7
    • 7th Apr 18, 5:52 PM
    • #7
    • 7th Apr 18, 5:52 PM

    2 - kick him out the house - as the kids are so young and find out the legal side of taking over the house - partly as I have the kids and partly because the marriage breakdown is 100% his fault - would I be able to do this?

    (
    Originally posted by Phyzelda
    Short answer, no.

    It's still jointly his house, he's just as entitled to live there with the children as you are. So you and the children can move back in but he can stay.

    Do you earn enough money to buy him out and take over the mortgage?
    Accept your past without regret, handle your present with confidence and face your future without fear
    • BrassicWoman
    • By BrassicWoman 7th Apr 18, 6:20 PM
    • 1,810 Posts
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    BrassicWoman
    • #8
    • 7th Apr 18, 6:20 PM
    • #8
    • 7th Apr 18, 6:20 PM
    Joint mortgage?

    If the mortgage isn't paid, your credit rating is already shot. I'd sit back and let the bank repossess in a few months time.
    Jan 18 grocery challenge 105.13/ 150
    • Phyzelda
    • By Phyzelda 7th Apr 18, 9:00 PM
    • 614 Posts
    • 540 Thanks
    Phyzelda
    • #9
    • 7th Apr 18, 9:00 PM
    • #9
    • 7th Apr 18, 9:00 PM
    I can't and won't let that happen brassicwoman as I would loose my job and career. I'm in talks with the lender. And well aware what could happen!!! Not what my post was about!
    • thorsoak
    • By thorsoak 7th Apr 18, 9:28 PM
    • 5,748 Posts
    • 26,510 Thanks
    thorsoak
    Is the house in joint names?
    • BrassicWoman
    • By BrassicWoman 7th Apr 18, 9:34 PM
    • 1,810 Posts
    • 7,344 Thanks
    BrassicWoman
    I can't and won't let that happen brassicwoman as I would loose my job and career. I'm in talks with the lender. And well aware what could happen!!! Not what my post was about!
    Originally posted by Phyzelda
    Hey, no need to get angry with me; I've no idea what your job is. And genuinely, it's what I would do. I'd have enough on my plate with kids and illness to try and fix joint problems alone.
    Jan 18 grocery challenge 105.13/ 150
    • badmemory
    • By badmemory 8th Apr 18, 3:06 AM
    • 2,137 Posts
    • 3,014 Thanks
    badmemory
    I would suspect that the reason he is not paying the mortgage is solely because of the effect it would have on you & your career.

    This would suggest that your best option is to sell up asap. After all better to have a job & a possibility of a new home for your children than no home, no job & still needing to live with your parents.
    • Fireflyaway
    • By Fireflyaway 8th Apr 18, 10:52 AM
    • 1,980 Posts
    • 2,244 Thanks
    Fireflyaway
    I don't know the details of your situation but if this were me I'd be wanting a fresh start. Can you afford to rent somewhere and then sell the house or could your ex buy you out?
    Even if it takes a while to sort the house issue, at least renting somewhere you are getting out of your parents and making a new life for you and the kids. Then when the house is sold you can use funds for a deposit to buy somewhere. You might have to wait to buy anyway if not paying the mortgage has dented your credit.
    • TBagpuss
    • By TBagpuss 10th Apr 18, 3:16 PM
    • 6,857 Posts
    • 9,002 Thanks
    TBagpuss
    OP, the key question is whether you can afford to pay the mortgage and other outgoings yourself.
    If you can, then as part of a divorce setlement you can ask the court to make an order which either transfers the house into your sole name (if you can get a mortgage to get him off the existing one) or which allows you to remain living in the property on the basis that you will use your best endeavours to remortgage and release him from liability as soon as you can (at which point the house can be transferred to you)

    In both cases, this would most likely be coupled with an order giving him a charge over the property entitling him to a lump sum representing his current interest in the equity, and payable at a set point in the future (possibly when the children leave school, possibly earlier)

    If you are not in a position to afford the mortgage and other outgoings then selling the property is likely to be the best bet (unless at that point he offers to buy you out, and is able to show he can afford it)

    The start point would be an equal split of the equity but it may be fair for it to be unequal depending on your respective needs and resources, so it s important for you to loo at what your mortgage capacity would be in your own right, whether there might be an option for you to buy another property, or perhaps a shared ownership home, rather than renting.

    You also need to take into account any assets either of you have other than the house.
    • mattpaint
    • By mattpaint 10th Apr 18, 9:09 PM
    • 229 Posts
    • 435 Thanks
    mattpaint
    How much is the house worth, how much equity is in it, what's your income, what's his income, do you have any debts, is he willing to sell the house and when will you be working again?
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