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  • FIRST POST
    • mumblingtaff
    • By mumblingtaff 1st Apr 18, 3:23 PM
    • 501Posts
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    mumblingtaff
    All change..... Determined to be solvent, single and successful
    • #1
    • 1st Apr 18, 3:23 PM
    All change..... Determined to be solvent, single and successful 1st Apr 18 at 3:23 PM
    Hello!
    I think this is my third diary - I posted regularly for a long time a year or two ago and then life just got in the way and my focus changed.
    So much has happened recently that I think a new start and a record of my successes and hiccups will help to keep me on track.

    So, what's changed...? Well, I'm on the senior leadership team at a large secondary school, live alone with an ancient fat little dog and am in the process of becoming single again after 5 years. My OH became my boss in September and its been downhill since then really, I won't bore you with the details but it's not been great and I finally broached it with him last week and he hasn't spoken to me since ...... Not the reaction I'd hoped for but perhaps expected.
    Earlier this year, I was passed over for a job that I've been doing informally for almost a year and that didn't help matters and have finally found the gumption to start applying for new jobs. That didn't go down well with OH either but he encouraged me to at the time of the original job issue, don't think he thought I would. I've found the work situation really difficult as nobody knows the real reason I didn't get the job and now it's at the point that I don't want to be there anymore.

    On top of that, I had some health news that stopped me in my tracks in February - I have the breast cancer gene and have a one in three chance of developing it in the next 8 years.... The hospital have been great and there's a prevention and monitoring plan in place including taking tamoxifen (not lovely side effects but better than cancer!) and lots of screening, but if I'm honest, it's made me reevaluate life a bit.
    Add to that lot that my dad has prostrate cancer that may have spread ( new biopsies soon to confirm ) and the worry that brings (my mum is useless and my sister has disabilities and with the best will in the world still needs care) and I've just had to say enough is enough - I'm 46 and things need to change, life is too short!!

    So to sum up.... Relationship going down the swanny, need a new job, health needs serious attention and family all need looking after.

    So a new start..... Here we go!! Xx
    Last edited by mumblingtaff; 01-04-2018 at 3:26 PM.
Page 7
    • TheMagician
    • By TheMagician 3rd May 18, 6:46 PM
    • 273 Posts
    • 578 Thanks
    TheMagician
    Woop woop! Congratulations How very exciting. You'll do great
    • mumblingtaff
    • By mumblingtaff 3rd May 18, 6:50 PM
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    mumblingtaff
    Thanks Joey! Hopefully on the relationship front it will be a good thing - has been in the short time since I've decided to go. We'll see, fingers crossed.
    On the side effects front, I'm absolutely knackered today - have had a really hard day at work but I'm unusually tired, to the point that it's hard to drag myself around and for some reason it's hard to read/focus on things. Hopefully it will improve..... I'm exhausted today - was going for a run but walking the dog was a struggle after work so definitely won't be trotting round the block tonight....

    I've just done tea, washed up and tidied the kitchen and am looking forward to a soak in the bath with a bit of telly afterwards . I have a little bit of urgent work to do so will crack on with it now so I can flop.....
    • mumblingtaff
    • By mumblingtaff 3rd May 18, 6:51 PM
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    mumblingtaff
    Woop woop! Congratulations How very exciting. You'll do great
    Originally posted by TheMagician
    We cross posted - thank you magician!! Xx
    • Honeysucklelou2
    • By Honeysucklelou2 4th May 18, 12:41 PM
    • 1,187 Posts
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    Honeysucklelou2
    Wow, that's an amazing turn of events and in time before the half term cut off for handing in notice etc. Congratulations on your new job.
    paydbx #93 899.50/8,000.
    Loan 17k - paid off in Aug 2017. Home improvement loans 3342 March 2017. 2994 in Aug 18
    • mumblingtaff
    • By mumblingtaff 4th May 18, 5:22 PM
    • 501 Posts
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    mumblingtaff
    Afternoon all! I'm absolutely shattered.....
    Everything aches and I'm just dog tired. Thankfully it's Friday and a three day weekend
    Tiredness is a common side effect of the tablets and I think I've been on them long enough now for it to kick in. Got to get on with it though....

    Work was the usual bedlam with no time to do anything constructive but I did manage to leave at 3.30 so not all bad. Came home and took the dog to the park for 45 mins - he was happy pottering around in the sunshine so we did a bit longer than normal. Have stripped and changed the bed and put it on to wash - almost killed me!!

    Supposed to be seeing OH later if his son isn't around - not sure about time or if it will even happen yet - to be honest I'm not too bothered if I get a quiet night. Will go with the flow...

    No big firm plans for the weekend yet except getting my hair done tomorrow afternoon and maybe going out with a friend tomorrow evening but it's not confirmed yet, will see how I feel.
    Looking forward to a sit down for an hour or two now....
    • mumblingtaff
    • By mumblingtaff 4th May 18, 6:20 PM
    • 501 Posts
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    mumblingtaff
    Out of interest, just looked at tamoxifen forums and extreme fatigue is very common in the beginning... Glad I'm not just imagining it
    • mumblingtaff
    • By mumblingtaff 6th May 18, 11:33 AM
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    mumblingtaff
    Morning all - it's a lovely day again here - 2 in a row, unheard of up north!!

    Had a really good day yesterday - started with a stroll in the park, then did a run (hard work but I did it) then cut the grass and spent 2 hours on a lounger in the sun. Then got my awful hair sorted out mid afternoon ( looks much better now) , back to the lounger for an hour then OH and I went for a drink in a country pub and then back to his for a lovely tea he'd preprepared. Watched the boxing and then had a fairly good nights sleep. The first in ages. OH still on best behaviour - it's all a bit surreal....

    Got up at 7 this morning to get ready for running club, had a shower which promptly fell off the wall (!!!) but could see the funny side strangely, then went to meet my running buddies and we did a really hard run in the sun (22C during the run, the warm up session was bad enough!) but we did it without stopping and ran further than last time. Am currently forcing myself to run because of the tiredness but I always feel better afterwards.

    Came home, bathed a very grubby looking dog (he wasn't impressed), cleaned and tidied the kitchen and whipped the Hoover round which also decided to die - it's very old and has been held together with duct tape for ages but today it's finally sucked it's last suck.... So two minor disasters in one morning - Hoover and shower - but I'm not going to let it spoil a beautiful day. These things happen.....

    Going to have a little sit down and then spend some time in the garden topping up the tan. I'm not doing any work today - sod it!
    OH did talk about going to a garden centre this afternoon - I do need some hanging baskets so this wouldn't be a bad thing but I'm guessing it will be busy. We'll see.....he's often full of good ideas that don't quite happen

    Going to have a little browse for hoovers - I refuse to pay a fortune - I seem to kill them on a regular basis....
    • mumblingtaff
    • By mumblingtaff 6th May 18, 11:53 AM
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    mumblingtaff
    New Hoover ordered - arrives at a local collection point on Tuesday so I don't have to wait in for it. It's the first time I've used AO but it was the cheapest for the model I wanted and delivery was straightforward and free. Fingers crossed it all goes smoothly.
    • mumblingtaff
    • By mumblingtaff 7th May 18, 8:40 AM
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    mumblingtaff
    Morning all - another lovely day. Had a very pleasant evening with OH and stayed over. He's being very communicative and attentive - it feels a bit like the good old days , let's hope it lasts. He's talking about holidays and the future so that can only be a good thing. Me announcing I'm looking for a job and then finding one and subsequently planning to leave work seems to have been the catalyst for change - I suppose it's never very healthy to be in a relationship with your boss, but that wasn't the way it started out 5 years ago..... Things move on.

    I've already taken the dog to the park on the way home before it gets too warm. He had a nice potter around in the sunshine and will probably spend the rest of the day in the garden in the shade. He seemed to really enjoy just watching the birds and chilling out yesterday.

    I'm going to go for a run before it gets too hot, do a big shop ( it's a bit like Mother Hubbard's here!) and then spend a bit of time in the garden. The planned garden centre visit has been postponed until today after OH has played golf.

    So, all in all, a lovely bank holiday weekend, it's a nice change from the usual hectic life I lead.
    Feel happy, relaxed and positive
    • mumblingtaff
    • By mumblingtaff 7th May 18, 1:44 PM
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    mumblingtaff
    I managed a 5k run in the sunshine - really hot and hard work at the end but I did it! That's 3 runs in 3 days and it's running club tomorrow so hopefully I'll be able to continue the streak
    Also battled my way round Aldi - it's was horrific, like xmas eve! Spent 46 on what seemed like loads (I'm always amazed at what you get for your money there) then nipped to B&M next door to stock up on toiletries and dog treats - 18 spent but won't need anything for a couple of weeks now.
    Came home, unpacked the shopping and installed myself on a lounger in the garden - it's boiling today! Just had a nice lunch in the sun and am trying to decide whether to read or listen to a book - that's the extent of my thinking today.....
    • mumblingtaff
    • By mumblingtaff 7th May 18, 7:02 PM
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    mumblingtaff
    Finally given up with the sun - OH came round and joined me for the afternoon. We looked briefly at some holidays - Cuba seems to be a favourite at the moment, with possibly a short break at our friend's farmhouse in France during half term depending on whether he has available holiday lets in his lovely outbuildings. We've been there a couple of times before so it's a known quantity but we'll have to see what he says and whether there are reasonably priced flights available. That would be an addition to the "big holiday" so can't cost too much. He's gone home to investigate and get things ready for work, something I need to do too....

    We also had another good talk about the work situation with no niggles - me going seems to be a good idea all round for everyone.

    Just waiting for tea to cook, will then walk the dog round the block now it's a bit cooler and get stuff ready for tomorrow, followed by the soaps and an early night.....
    Thankfully it's just a 4 day week....
    • mumblingtaff
    • By mumblingtaff 8th May 18, 8:18 PM
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    mumblingtaff
    Back at work - long day and really tired.
    Took the dog to the vets after work as his mouth is bothering him and he has an infection and is now on antibiotics. If it doesn't clear up he will have to have his last 4 teeth removed - he only has his canines left after having the rest out following a big abscess a couple of years ago. Poor poochy - fingers crossed it gets better as I don't want him to have an anaesthetic at his age unless absolutely necessary. Got his usual prescription for his Cushing's syndrome while there so 103 worse off but he's worth it, my little soldier......

    Because of the vet visit couldn't go to running club but will try to get out for a run on weds or thurs instead.

    Will have to have a look at the finances again but not tonight - too tired to think constructively.
    Going to have a bath and an early night...
    • mumblingtaff
    • By mumblingtaff 9th May 18, 9:47 PM
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    mumblingtaff
    Evening all - another long day but not a bad one. Didn't leave work until 6pm then walked the dog in the rain and made a big salad for tea.
    Caught up on a bit of work and then walked the dog again once it was dry and had a bath.
    Listened to a couple of motivational podcasts today - some useful things to remember like "it won't happen straight away" and sometimes people will be "the monkey on your back". Good to remind yourself of things sometimes.
    Also have listened to a few chapters of the Ricky Gervais audiobook - I'm in two minds about him - sometimes funny, sometimes downright rude and offensive.

    I have a few things I really need to do soon....

    1. Sort passport
    2. Sort driving licence
    3. Go to price up bathrooms fittings
    4. Pay the window cleaner
    5. Arrange a dog haircut once he's feeling better - seems a bit brighter today, let's hope it continues...

    There's loads of other things but they're the biggies....
    Will try to start at least one or two tomorrow.

    Going to watch a bit of telly and have an early night. Slept badly last night, all hot and sweaty, so hopefully tonight will be better. We'll see....
    • mumblingtaff
    • By mumblingtaff 10th May 18, 5:53 PM
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    mumblingtaff
    Not a bad day at work - managed to get some jobs done but not everything. Tomorrow is another day... I'm much less frantic about things these days, what will be will be.....
    Came home about 4.30 and took the dog for a big walk in the sunshine and then tidied the kitchen, just waiting for tea to cook.

    This evening I'm toying with the idea of a run but will see how I feel after eating. Will definitely have a bath and watch some telly later - having a relaxed day.
    The dog seems more like himself, so that's good news... He's a bit barky and eating well so all good signs.
    • EscapingTheAlarm
    • By EscapingTheAlarm 10th May 18, 7:16 PM
    • 111 Posts
    • 233 Thanks
    EscapingTheAlarm
    I!!!8217;m pleased your dog is better- I hate it when mine are poorly
    Have you got your official start date for your new job yet? It must be much easier to deal with the stresses of work when you know you will be leaving soon!
    ETA x
    • mumblingtaff
    • By mumblingtaff 10th May 18, 8:33 PM
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    mumblingtaff
    I!!!8217;m pleased your dog is better- I hate it when mine are poorly
    Have you got your official start date for your new job yet? It must be much easier to deal with the stresses of work when you know you will be leaving soon!
    ETA x
    Originally posted by EscapingTheAlarm
    Change of plan for the evening..... I received an email asking me to fill in a formal application form for the job so it's all above board (even though I've had the offer) so have spent the last two hours on the laptop. Will re-read it tomorrow and then send it off. I start in September - scary but good. I'll be sad to leave as I love my job but it will be a new episode of my life

    Feeling a bit unsettled tonight - probably the whole job thing - might go for a walk or run in a while to clear my head. It's a funny feeling - a mix of regret for leaving everything I know but knowing it's the right thing to do. Onwards and upwards...
    • louby40
    • By louby40 10th May 18, 9:38 PM
    • 1,384 Posts
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    louby40
    Congratulations on the job! Life certainly is strange sometimes.
    • mumblingtaff
    • By mumblingtaff 12th May 18, 7:39 AM
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    mumblingtaff
    Morning all! Had a quiet Friday evening with OH, takeaway, telly and an early night.
    Off to work this morning with the students - exams start on Monday ....
    Should be finished by 12.30 and have a few chores to do this afternoon - nothing very exciting just all necessary bits and bobs. Will pop back later to update - better get in the bath!
    • mumblingtaff
    • By mumblingtaff 12th May 18, 2:13 PM
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    mumblingtaff
    School done - kids were great today, they're better on a Saturday than they are during the week!

    Taken the dog to the park for a stroll in the sunshine and tried to pick up the new Hoover but was told to come back tomorrow- annoying because I know it's there - they're holding the Hoover hostage because the right person wasn't there.....
    Done a few chores and am currently trying to force myself to go for a run - lacking in motivation today, but will eventually get going.....

    Will spend some time with OH later, no big plans yet.
    • mumblingtaff
    • By mumblingtaff 12th May 18, 4:09 PM
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    mumblingtaff
    5k run done - was hard at the beginning but got into it after 5 mins or so.
    Feel better for it now
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