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  • FIRST POST
    • mumblingtaff
    • By mumblingtaff 1st Apr 18, 3:23 PM
    • 196Posts
    • 3,918Thanks
    mumblingtaff
    All change..... Determined to be solvent, single and successful
    • #1
    • 1st Apr 18, 3:23 PM
    All change..... Determined to be solvent, single and successful 1st Apr 18 at 3:23 PM
    Hello!
    I think this is my third diary - I posted regularly for a long time a year or two ago and then life just got in the way and my focus changed.
    So much has happened recently that I think a new start and a record of my successes and hiccups will help to keep me on track.

    So, what's changed...? Well, I'm on the senior leadership team at a large secondary school, live alone with an ancient fat little dog and am in the process of becoming single again after 5 years. My OH became my boss in September and its been downhill since then really, I won't bore you with the details but it's not been great and I finally broached it with him last week and he hasn't spoken to me since ...... Not the reaction I'd hoped for but perhaps expected.
    Earlier this year, I was passed over for a job that I've been doing informally for almost a year and that didn't help matters and have finally found the gumption to start applying for new jobs. That didn't go down well with OH either but he encouraged me to at the time of the original job issue, don't think he thought I would. I've found the work situation really difficult as nobody knows the real reason I didn't get the job and now it's at the point that I don't want to be there anymore.

    On top of that, I had some health news that stopped me in my tracks in February - I have the breast cancer gene and have a one in three chance of developing it in the next 8 years.... The hospital have been great and there's a prevention and monitoring plan in place including taking tamoxifen (not lovely side effects but better than cancer!) and lots of screening, but if I'm honest, it's made me reevaluate life a bit.
    Add to that lot that my dad has prostrate cancer that may have spread ( new biopsies soon to confirm ) and the worry that brings (my mum is useless and my sister has disabilities and with the best will in the world still needs care) and I've just had to say enough is enough - I'm 46 and things need to change, life is too short!!

    So to sum up.... Relationship going down the swanny, need a new job, health needs serious attention and family all need looking after.

    So a new start..... Here we go!! Xx
    Last edited by mumblingtaff; 01-04-2018 at 3:26 PM.
Page 4
    • mumblingtaff
    • By mumblingtaff 14th Apr 18, 10:36 AM
    • 196 Posts
    • 3,918 Thanks
    mumblingtaff
    Had a mad couple of hours getting some of the jobs done - taken the dog to his favourite park, did the grocery shopping at sainsburys (44 spent including 8 for new foundation), put petrol in, got 50 cash out, hoovered car and wiped down all of the surfaces, car washed the car, arranged valet for old car for Monday (dropping it off tomorrow), cleaned the fridge out and put the shopping away, cleaned the kitchen and sorted the bins. Phew....!!!
    All by 10.30

    Going to go for a run in a bit and put some washing in afterwards, then phone mum to get a couple more things sorted. Want to get as much done this morning as possible so I can have something free time later .
    • mumblingtaff
    • By mumblingtaff 14th Apr 18, 12:00 PM
    • 196 Posts
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    mumblingtaff
    Run done - faster than before and a bit further - feel like I'm making progress now
    Have running club on Sunday morning so will do another one then, this better be showing on the scales on Monday!
    Time for a little sit down.....
    • Chrystal
    • By Chrystal 14th Apr 18, 12:21 PM
    • 227 Posts
    • 1,490 Thanks
    Chrystal
    He may be 'testing the water' to see just how you react to him messing you about again.

    Leopards don't change their spots if they can help it, so stick to your guns. I think it's time you are in charge. X
    GC. Oct.17 = 261.18/ 300 = + 38.82 NSDs 20/31
    GC. Sept.17 = 354.89/300 = - 54.39

    • mumblingtaff
    • By mumblingtaff 14th Apr 18, 1:25 PM
    • 196 Posts
    • 3,918 Thanks
    mumblingtaff
    He may be 'testing the water' to see just how you react to him messing you about again.

    Leopards don't change their spots if they can help it, so stick to your guns. I think it's time you are in charge. X
    Originally posted by Chrystal
    Thanks Chrystal - you may be right. He's just asked me out for a drink and dinner this evening. My indifference must be having an impact

    Grass cut, wooden floors cleaned, mum phoned - time for a sit down and some food now.... Have just about run out of steam!
    • MeandO
    • By MeandO 14th Apr 18, 3:49 PM
    • 1,359 Posts
    • 6,640 Thanks
    MeandO
    Id tell him youre busy MT!
    Mortgage Feb 2015: 102,000 Mortgage now: 76,917
    2018 OP's (aiming for 100pm): JAN:129.26/100 FEB:287/100 MAR:150/100 APR:150.45/100
    • TheMagician
    • By TheMagician 14th Apr 18, 6:42 PM
    • 201 Posts
    • 454 Thanks
    TheMagician
    Hear, hear
    I would tell him I was busy and made sure I did something fun instead.
    • mumblingtaff
    • By mumblingtaff 15th Apr 18, 4:27 PM
    • 196 Posts
    • 3,918 Thanks
    mumblingtaff
    Afternoon all.....well it all started well last night, went for a drink and potentially something to eat and at his request took the dog with us - it was a lovely warm sunny evening so sitting outside or in a dog friendly pub wasn't an issue. He decided that we should cook something at his house, not a problem... Made tea, watched a film that I fell asleep during (it was boring!) and then went to bed. He couldn't sleep and kept waking me up and finally he got quite stroppy about it all - at 4am he said it probably would have been better if I'd gone home! I went back to sleep and let him stew, got up at 7am to go home and get ready for running club and left him to it.
    I wasn't going to let him spoil my day so went running and thoroughly enjoyed it (oh, how I've changed!!!) and then came home and took the dog for a good walk. Then sat down and did 4 solid hours of school work and got 2 big jobs out of the way - quite pleased with myself as they were the sort of jobs that I usually put off as they're really boring
    Just taken the old car in for valeting and ran back (only about 2km but it all adds up I suppose), will need to pick it up tomorrow evening. It will be a bit of a rush tomorrow as I'm usually in a meeting until at least 5pm on a Monday and the bloke wants me to pick it up by 6pm and I'll have to get home and walk or run there to get it .... Oh, and then there's the fat club weigh in tomorrow evening. Busy day....

    Going to have a soak in the bath in a while and have some tea - can't decide whether to eat the leftover tuna pasta bake or make something new and keep that for when I'm late in from work. Think I'll make a quorn sausage casserole and then I'll have 2 leftovers meals for the week. Will see how motivated I feel after a bath.....

    Need to get clothes ready for work tomorrow and relax a bit later - there's still lots of work to do but I need a bit of a break, the work week is always manic and tomorrow will be especially so - will see how I feel.
    Right, bath time, even the dog won't sit on my sweaty lap!!
    • mumblingtaff
    • By mumblingtaff 15th Apr 18, 8:06 PM
    • 196 Posts
    • 3,918 Thanks
    mumblingtaff
    Ended up making a very nice sausage casserole and mash with a "ready meal" version of it in the fridge for another day.
    Done another couple of hours work too after a long soak in the bath with my book.
    No more work tonight - going to watch recorded Billions and have an early night - long day tomorrow
    • mumblingtaff
    • By mumblingtaff 15th Apr 18, 9:06 PM
    • 196 Posts
    • 3,918 Thanks
    mumblingtaff

    1. Type up year 11 data doc -done
    2. Type up year 10 data doc - done
    3. Create new year 7-9 data doc - done
    4. Create some yr 11 revision resources - done enough for this coming week
    5. Write review doc - done
    6. Hoover and dust - done
    7. Clean bathrooms - done
    8. Hoover out car - done and car washed it too
    9. Do grocery shopping - done
    10. Do run on Friday/Saturday - done 4.5km
    11. Running club Sunday morning - done
    12. 2 loads of washing - done
    13. Get work clothes ready
    14. Cancel dog haircut - done
    15. Get photographs taken
    16. Send off passport and driving licence paperwork
    17. Clean wooden floors - done
    18. Get old car valeted- car wash man can do it on Monday, dropping off tomorrow
    19. Phone mum - done
    20. Try to finish new book
    21. Tidy out car boot
    22. Buy new foundation (nearly empty) -]done
    23. Cut grass if it ever dries out - done
    24. Batch cook something - done
    25. Clean fridge and microwavedone fridge
    26. Job application
    Originally posted by mumblingtaff

    Got the majority of the list done - a few jobs to carry over to this week.....just as a reminder .....

    1. Job application
    2. Photographs for passport and driving licence
    3. Send driving licence and passport applications off
    4. Tidy out the car boot once valeting is done
    • mumblingtaff
    • By mumblingtaff 15th Apr 18, 9:18 PM
    • 196 Posts
    • 3,918 Thanks
    mumblingtaff
    Goals for week beg 16th April
    I'll get snowed under with work and forget to make time for myself if I'm not careful so I've decided to set myself a few goals for the week ahead....

    1. Running club on Tuesday and Sunday and one additional run during the week - Tuesday done
    2. Fat club weigh in on Monday - done
    3. Eat proper food every evening rather than quick rubbish
    4. Try to go to the dog event in the park on Sunday - will make me happy
    5. Finish book and borrow a new one from the library
    6. Job application
    7. Take make up off every night and use night cream
    8. Survive parents evening on Thursday and eat properly, not just biscuits
    9. Keep in contact with friends and arrange some future meet ups
    10. Listen to new audiobook whilst walking the dog

    I'll check in on them every day to remind myself to have a life!
    Last edited by mumblingtaff; 17-04-2018 at 8:42 PM.
    • joeyjimbles
    • By joeyjimbles 15th Apr 18, 9:39 PM
    • 1,561 Posts
    • 8,466 Thanks
    joeyjimbles
    OH sounds a bit selfish frankly - not that you asked, but he does.
    I'm so glad that you're sticking to what works for you and doing what you want despite him. Did you sort a holiday yet?
    Did a run with DH this evening - lovely along the river and nice to finally be running on just soft ground rather than wading through puddles.
    Good luck with the plan for the week - maybe pop a snack or two in your bag for Parents Evening? Flapjack, banana etc and then make sure you have a 'ready' dinner for when you get home...and possibly a treat.
    • mumblingtaff
    • By mumblingtaff 16th Apr 18, 8:22 PM
    • 196 Posts
    • 3,918 Thanks
    mumblingtaff
    Evening all!
    A madly busy day - simply didn't stop and have just sat down.
    I did manage to get away from work at 4.45 and dashed home to dump the car, get changed and grab the dog and walked the 2 miles to the car valeting place to collect the old car. Then drove to fat club for weigh in (stayed the same, the consultant thinks it's all the exercise I've been doing making me gain muscle and retain water and it will show next week) then dashed home for tea and 2 hours of work, catching up on the day and getting ready for tomorrow. I could do loads more but am determined to have some down time.
    Thankfully, I had a big portion of tuna pasta bake left over in the fridge so scoffed that really quickly as I had only had a banana and a biscuit all day - too busy to eat, not good....

    I did manage to cleanse and use night cream last night and must do it again tonight. Looking knackered and wrinkly is not great!!

    Going to watch a bit of telly and have a fairly early night with my book, getting towards the end of it now and it's a real page turner. Must try to pick a new one up from the library at work tomorrow or weds (we have a public lending library attached to the school).

    Also trying to do at least one nice thing a day for other people - today's was to compliment a colleague on her weightloss (she's quite big so it will take a while for others to notice but I know she's been doing well) and to lend two really good books to two different colleagues that I think will enjoy them.
    My secret buddy at work (like a secret Santa but all year round) bought me a running diary as a surprise gift today too - nice thought and will be useful but I've no idea who it's from!

    So, all in all, a good day, got lots done, meeting with important education consultant went really well, was complimented on the reports I'd written, all organised for tomorrow, car collected and paid for and some exercise done (12500 steps today). Now it's time for a little rest....
    Last edited by mumblingtaff; 16-04-2018 at 8:26 PM.
    • mumblingtaff
    • By mumblingtaff 17th Apr 18, 6:16 AM
    • 196 Posts
    • 3,918 Thanks
    mumblingtaff
    Morning!
    Went to bed half an hour earlier but it didn't really make a difference to the amount I slept. I did have a large glass of wine in the evening (sulking at the lack of weight loss, that will help!!) and I think that didn't help - won't have any tonight and see if it makes a difference.

    Today is another busy one - the usual madness at work but if I'm lucky I might have an hour to myself to actually do some work.... We have an early close for staff training from 2-4pm so will try to get away at 4ish. If I can I need to get a rear windscreen wiper fitted on the old car this afternoon before it goes back tomorrow but I don't know if there will be time, will do my best as I'm sure BMW will charge an arm and a leg for one. It's also running club at 6.30 - will be a challenge after a long busy day but I'm determined to go and not let it slip. Add in a dog walk after work (just done the morning one) and I'll probably collapse in a heap by 8.30!

    Right, better get in the shower and crack on......
    • mumblingtaff
    • By mumblingtaff 17th Apr 18, 8:38 PM
    • 196 Posts
    • 3,918 Thanks
    mumblingtaff
    Bit of another mad day.... Work was stupidly busy, didn't get a minute to myself and ended up leaving at 4.45 then had to walk the dog for 30 mins, get changed then forced myself to go to running club. Yet again, really enjoyed it once I was there and did just about 5km
    Put air in the tyres of the old car (asked a nice man to show me how to do the first one then did the rest myself - quite proud of myself ).
    Came home, tidied out the boot of the car and found all the paperwork related to the old car and can finally sit down.

    Been a strange sort of day - felt quite negative at some points in work but soldiered through and ended the day positively with the run. I need to apply for the one suitable job available elsewhere over the weekend - if for no other reason than it will make me feel like I'm being proactive about the work situation.
    Enough of the whinging ..... Onwards and upwards.....
    Last edited by mumblingtaff; 17-04-2018 at 8:41 PM.
    • mumblingtaff
    • By mumblingtaff 18th Apr 18, 6:10 AM
    • 196 Posts
    • 3,918 Thanks
    mumblingtaff
    Morning!
    Woken up a bit tired today but I'm sure I'll get going soon.
    Have walked the dog and got things ready for work - need to shower etc then set off.

    On paper, today doesn't look too bad but I'm sure events will take over! Quite a few meetings, one short interview to supervise and only one lesson to teach. The old car is being picked up from work today at last, it's taken them ages to organise! Hopefully that will go smoothly as its been an annoyance on the drive outside the house for months. Will have to see if I can cadge a lift home this afternoon - I could walk but will be in a suit and heels and have heavy bags with me, fingers crossed that someone takes pity on me

    Tonight is "operation apply for jobs" - I found a few more last night that may be suitable.
    Right, better get in the shower.....
    • MeandO
    • By MeandO 18th Apr 18, 10:45 AM
    • 1,359 Posts
    • 6,640 Thanks
    MeandO
    Have a lovely day MT! x
    Mortgage Feb 2015: 102,000 Mortgage now: 76,917
    2018 OP's (aiming for 100pm): JAN:129.26/100 FEB:287/100 MAR:150/100 APR:150.45/100
    • TheMagician
    • By TheMagician 18th Apr 18, 12:19 PM
    • 201 Posts
    • 454 Thanks
    TheMagician
    I am so impressed with your progress.
    Weight loss - I actually have the solution. I know, everyone says that, but this is the only thing that works every single time, over and over again for every person I have recommended it to. I am currently doing it myself having fallen off the wagon previously. It's call the Harcombe diet. And it's not at all a diet, it's a way of living and it delivers incredible results every single time. Please give it a try, not only will you lose weight, your energy levels will be absolutely transformed. I can tell it'd work for your personality.
    All the best of luck
    • mumblingtaff
    • By mumblingtaff 18th Apr 18, 6:35 PM
    • 196 Posts
    • 3,918 Thanks
    mumblingtaff
    I am so impressed with your progress.
    Weight loss - I actually have the solution. I know, everyone says that, but this is the only thing that works every single time, over and over again for every person I have recommended it to. I am currently doing it myself having fallen off the wagon previously. It's call the Harcombe diet. And it's not at all a diet, it's a way of living and it delivers incredible results every single time. Please give it a try, not only will you lose weight, your energy levels will be absolutely transformed. I can tell it'd work for your personality.
    All the best of luck
    Originally posted by TheMagician
    Thank you Magician - very interesting, will google it ASAP !


    A strange up and down day - everything went well and then I had to spend the afternoon with the person that got the job rather than me. A funny person that I didn't like at first but I rose above it and was the better person. I'm trying to stick it out until there's an alternative and I showed myself in a good light today - can't be criticised.
    Will still apply for jobs but feel like I had the upper hand today

    It's been a lovely sunny afternoon so managed to get home at a reasonable time thanks to relying on a colleague to give me a lift as BMW finally collected the old car from work today (all went well and they didn't quibble about the condition of the car). Took the opportunity to take the dog to the park for an hour and let him have a good potter about whilst I caught up with mum oh the phone - duty done
    Came home and caught up on work email (laptop off now) and had a diet busting Camembert and crusty bread for tea - wanted a treat after a difficult week. Being kind to myself but will go for a walk later to help minimise the damage and get some exercise and more fresh air.

    Job wise - have checked the closing dates for the suitable jobs and they're no earlier than next Monday so have plenty of time to sort them.
    Think I'll make the most of the nice weather this evening and sort my head out rather than put even more pressure on myself in a difficult week. It's parents evening tomorrow so I won't be able to escape until late and therefore won't be able to capitalise on the nice warm light evening.

    OH called this evening to see how I was after a trying week in work - not like him - apparently he's calling again later for a proper chat. We'll see.....
    • mumblingtaff
    • By mumblingtaff 18th Apr 18, 8:22 PM
    • 196 Posts
    • 3,918 Thanks
    mumblingtaff
    Just realised that I pay insurance and tax on the old car that I no longer have and so have cancelled the direct debits. That's a saving of 75 a month
    Will phone the insurers tomorrow - closed now - to formally cancel and will probably have to pay some kind of early penalty but from what I can see on the form it's about 35, so even for this month it's a saving.

    Little victories - used up the ends of shampoo and conditioner ( am prone to move onto the next bottle before the previous one is used), had a long bath with my book, cleaned kitchen and sorted the bins and recycling.

    Tomorrow's small jobs to get organised.... Get car registration docs sent off, phone insurance to cancel, pick up new library book.
    Going to have a little sit down and watch recorded telly for an hour or so then have an early night with my book. Long day tomorrow.
    Last edited by mumblingtaff; 19-04-2018 at 6:19 AM.
    • mumblingtaff
    • By mumblingtaff 20th Apr 18, 5:40 PM
    • 196 Posts
    • 3,918 Thanks
    mumblingtaff
    Afternoon all! A really long day yesterday with a parents evening to finish the day - eventually sat down at 9.15pm .....

    But today was ok, managed to leave by 3.30 and it's a lovely warm sunny day again. Got up at 5.15 as I was awake and started the day with a longer then normal dog walk as it was a nice sunrise. Long hard day at work, really busy, but did manage to get a few personal tasks done too including cancelling the car insurance, sending off the log book and MOT etc so all paperwork for the old car is now done and I can forget about it, and phoned the vet for more dog tablets and picked up some library books.
    Did a bit of planning for next week (which on paper doesn't look too bad) and had a load of meetings. Glad to finish formally for the week but as always will be working on Saturday morning revising with year 11. But no more work today.

    Came home and bathed the dog (he'll dry in the sunshine), stripped the bed and put it in to wash, took the dog to the park for some fresh air and exercise for both of us and popped to the shop for a bottle of wine and dog food. Have finally sat down ....

    OH has invited me for tea and the evening, haven't seen him all week but to be fair we have both been really busy this week, so nobody's fault. Will see how it goes.
    Will force myself to push the hoover round, have a bath and then make my way over to his house. Want to be entertained
    Last edited by mumblingtaff; 20-04-2018 at 5:43 PM.
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