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    • mumblingtaff
    • By mumblingtaff 1st Apr 18, 3:23 PM
    • 497Posts
    • 5,041Thanks
    All change..... Determined to be solvent, single and successful
    • #1
    • 1st Apr 18, 3:23 PM
    All change..... Determined to be solvent, single and successful 1st Apr 18 at 3:23 PM
    I think this is my third diary - I posted regularly for a long time a year or two ago and then life just got in the way and my focus changed.
    So much has happened recently that I think a new start and a record of my successes and hiccups will help to keep me on track.

    So, what's changed...? Well, I'm on the senior leadership team at a large secondary school, live alone with an ancient fat little dog and am in the process of becoming single again after 5 years. My OH became my boss in September and its been downhill since then really, I won't bore you with the details but it's not been great and I finally broached it with him last week and he hasn't spoken to me since ...... Not the reaction I'd hoped for but perhaps expected.
    Earlier this year, I was passed over for a job that I've been doing informally for almost a year and that didn't help matters and have finally found the gumption to start applying for new jobs. That didn't go down well with OH either but he encouraged me to at the time of the original job issue, don't think he thought I would. I've found the work situation really difficult as nobody knows the real reason I didn't get the job and now it's at the point that I don't want to be there anymore.

    On top of that, I had some health news that stopped me in my tracks in February - I have the breast cancer gene and have a one in three chance of developing it in the next 8 years.... The hospital have been great and there's a prevention and monitoring plan in place including taking tamoxifen (not lovely side effects but better than cancer!) and lots of screening, but if I'm honest, it's made me reevaluate life a bit.
    Add to that lot that my dad has prostrate cancer that may have spread ( new biopsies soon to confirm ) and the worry that brings (my mum is useless and my sister has disabilities and with the best will in the world still needs care) and I've just had to say enough is enough - I'm 46 and things need to change, life is too short!!

    So to sum up.... Relationship going down the swanny, need a new job, health needs serious attention and family all need looking after.

    So a new start..... Here we go!! Xx
    Last edited by mumblingtaff; 01-04-2018 at 3:26 PM.
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    • mumblingtaff
    • By mumblingtaff 9th Nov 18, 8:20 PM
    • 497 Posts
    • 5,041 Thanks
    Thank you Little Miss, I looked at the reviews for them both and also Widows. All look good. Will definitely go to see something this weekend.

    Thankfully it's Friday!! Had a really busy day at work and was knackered by the time I got home but took the dog to the park, had a 15 minute unintentional snooze on the sofa and then cracked on with cleaning the house and sorting things out. Have hoovered and dusted everything, changed the bed, done two loads of washing, cleaned the kitchen and all of the wooden floors. Nice and clean and tidy now

    OH is at a work thing this evening so I have it all to myself - to be honest he's getting on my wick a bit this week so I'm not disappointed
    Planning on watching the soaps and gogglebox, having a bit of wine and just relaxing for a couple of hours knowing that I don't have to get up at 5.15!!

    I've cancelled my hair appointment for tomorrow - was looking at it this evening before I had a bath and it can survive another couple of weeks and I've just dyed it myself. It can wait until after pay day.

    Will have a think about what to do tomorrow- no big plans yet
    Last edited by mumblingtaff; 09-11-2018 at 8:22 PM.
    • mumblingtaff
    • By mumblingtaff 11th Nov 18, 11:03 AM
    • 497 Posts
    • 5,041 Thanks
    Morning all. An eventful weekend so far.....

    Yesterday, I took the dog to the park for an hour in the morning then went to a dog friendly cafe for brunch for us both. Decided to go to the furniture shops for a look and bought 2 new sofas in the sale - they're really nice leather ones and were half price with an extra 10% off so a bargain, I've been thinking about it for a while and have most of the money saved up in a house account. Only had to pay 10% then and the rest just before delivery in December so will have the lot ready by then. Was offered interest free credit but resisted. So a nice morning.

    Then walked over to OHs (about 3 miles) for the exercise and he was in a foul mood and we promptly had an almighty row culminating in me walking home again just an hour later. He's had a bad week but there is no need to take it out on me. My week hasn't been great either but I'm still pleasant. At least I got plenty of exercise I suppose.....
    He texted some pretty horrible things to me and I ended up just telling him to leave me alone and he suggested it was for good. How immature and disrespectful. By text! Half an hour later he texted that he loved me and was sorry which I've ignored. I refuse to be treated like that anymore. We'll see if he surfaces today but I'm not making any contact. I deserve better than that.

    So last night I walked the dog again, drank a bottle of wine, had a takeaway curry and licked my wounds. Not exactly diet friendly but needed. After a poor nights sleep I got up this morning and gave myself a talking to. Took the dog for a good long walk in the rain to blow away the cobwebs, tidied the house, did the weekly shop at the little tesco (didn't need much) and then decided to go for a run. 5km done - hard work in the wind and rain but I'm pleased I've done it now.
    I'm not going to wallow. End of.

    So after watching the armistice day ceremony on TV I'm going to have a sunbed (bad I know) then do some work to get ready for the week. The old soldiers always make me cry - both my grandfathers were in the Second World War (one as a prisoner of war, the other as a desert rat) and it always makes me think of them.

    No other big plans for today - going to recoup and recover.....
    • EscapingTheAlarm
    • By EscapingTheAlarm 11th Nov 18, 11:42 AM
    • 110 Posts
    • 233 Thanks
    Hi mumblingtaff,
    I always read your diary but don't often post... I just wanted to say that I hope you're OK and that I completely agree that you don't need to be treated like that by OH! Im sure he will do his best to make it up to you but I'm glad you didn't reply to his first attempt!
    Keep up all your amazing hard work- I find it impressive to read!
    ETA x
    • mumblingtaff
    • By mumblingtaff 11th Nov 18, 6:01 PM
    • 497 Posts
    • 5,041 Thanks
    School work done - all prepped for the week.
    Watched a bit of TV then went for a walk for an hour while the sun was out before it got dark - not doing well at sitting around the house. Too much thinking time.
    Have made a nice tea of veggie sausages and homemade mash with Yorkshire pudding and gravy to use up the potatoes in the fridge - the dog enjoyed his portion too and s currently sleeping it off.....

    Just watching The Mist on Netflix - about half way through the series - it's an adaptation of a Stephen King book - daft but entertaining enough.

    Need to keep myself occupied.....
    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 11th Nov 18, 6:05 PM
    • 4,126 Posts
    • 35,328 Thanks
    Just wanted to say I'm thinking of you, and good on you for not getting in touch with him. He always treats you badly when he's stressed out and it's not fair.
    November in NY #20 NSD = 9 1 debt vs 100 days 328.51/1685
    DFD #1: 6 Nov 15 - paid 28,447
    • joeyjimbles
    • By joeyjimbles 11th Nov 18, 7:44 PM
    • 1,670 Posts
    • 9,015 Thanks
    Positive thoughts. And completely agree about not being treated in such a manner, you do deserve better and if he can't manage that then he should at least be able to be civil until he can.
    Hope you found something to occupy yourself this evening. I'd love to inspire you with tales of my creativity, intelligence or healthy endeavours. However I'm waiting for a roast dinner to finish - seem to have sulking potatoes that refuse to crisp or brown - ironing duvet covers (pet hate) and watching a particularly daft Christmas film on Channel 5. OH and DS2 are watching Dr Who.
    • Nicnak
    • By Nicnak 11th Nov 18, 8:45 PM
    • 1,325 Posts
    • 7,139 Thanks

    I've been reading your diary for a few days, and just wanted to say hope you are ok. x
    September 6th 2017 - Updated 21st Oct
    Credit Card 0 now: 0 Tesco Loan 7500 = 0 Consolidation 15,000 = 10,812 Total = 25,330 10,812 59% gone EMF #252 = 1300/1000
    Sealed pot challenge #589
    Pay off all your debts by Christmas #71
    • Honeysucklelou2
    • By Honeysucklelou2 11th Nov 18, 9:52 PM
    • 1,179 Posts
    • 5,593 Thanks
    The brunch at a dog friendly cafe sounded great...sorry that the rest of Saturday was so tough.

    Hope you have a good week at school.
    paydbx #93 899.50/8,000.
    Loan 17k - paid off in Aug 2017. Home improvement loans 3342 March 2017. 2994 in Aug 18
    • mumblingtaff
    • By mumblingtaff 12th Nov 18, 6:07 AM
    • 497 Posts
    • 5,041 Thanks
    Thank you all for your support - it's much appreciated.
    A couple of bad tempered and self pitying texts from him. I tried to rise above it and remain blameless. Bloody hard though when you want to say so many other things.
    I'm starting a new week - onwards and upwards xx
    • mumblingtaff
    • By mumblingtaff 12th Nov 18, 9:01 PM
    • 497 Posts
    • 5,041 Thanks
    Today was a good day at work - lessons went well, meetings weren't too long and drawn out, managed to have a quiet 90 mins and marked two lots of extended writing and almost a whole set of tests.
    Came home and phoned parents whilst driving (hands free) who are all upbeat because they've just booked a holiday for after Xmas - the only thing is that I have to look after their mental dog for the week that they're away - they do have my dog for me so I can't complain. Nice to hear mum cheerful - she's the eternal pessimist

    Took the dog to the park in the dark - there's still lots of other dog walkers there so it's safe - had tea and got stuck into another load of work. Meeting minutes written up and emailed, test marking finished and calculated and some general planning done for next week. My mother and sister are visiting this weekend so I won't have a lot of time to get things done.
    A quick whizz round the block with the dog, packed lunch and clothes ready for the morning, bins put out and kitchen cleaned and now I can finally have an hour to myself before bed!!!

    On the OH front, no big news, he's texted saying he'll ring to talk tonight if it's not too late by the time he's home but I'm not holding my breath.

    Tomorrow is another busy day so it's an hour of telly before an earlyish night. Xx
    • mumblingtaff
    • By mumblingtaff 13th Nov 18, 5:48 AM
    • 497 Posts
    • 5,041 Thanks
    Well wonders will never cease - he did phone and actually attempted to talk to me with a small apology thrown in for good measure. I'm still not convinced though and will continue to be wary for now. He never backs down so this is fairly new territory...... It may well be a temporary ceasefire.....

    Watched a episode of the Trial of OJ Simpson - it's really good so will now be my new winding down programme.
    Busy day in store today - lots of teaching and I need to get a lot of other jobs done too ......
    • Starmummy
    • By Starmummy 13th Nov 18, 11:29 AM
    • 276 Posts
    • 1,307 Thanks
    Well done you for being tough MT
    debt consolidated 16/8/18 11,917.34/12,618.12 (Total debt at LBM c..19.5k)
    EF savings 650.06 House Deposit (LISA) 480.00/12,000 4%
    • joeyjimbles
    • By joeyjimbles 13th Nov 18, 11:45 AM
    • 1,670 Posts
    • 9,015 Thanks
    Well, if he's making an effort then that is a good change. And the least that you deserve. Good that you have plans for the weekend however so that you can have some breathing space and it isn't just you having to be strong.
    Hope today is a good day.
    • mumblingtaff
    • By mumblingtaff 14th Nov 18, 5:53 AM
    • 497 Posts
    • 5,041 Thanks
    Morning all - was absolutely shattered last night. Went to bed at 9.30, which is unheard of for me. Feel a bit better today but could have done with another couple of hours....

    Nothing much to report on the OH front - didn't speak to him yesterday and only had one grumpy text. Leaving him to it. I'm not going to fuss around him.

    It's a really long day today - awards evening at school - so won't be home until 8.30 earliest
    Been up early to give the dog a good walk - usually I'd ask OH to walk him after work if I'm really late but I'm not going to ask. Will text my neighbour and ask him to let him out into the garden for a while this afternoon - better than nothing and I'll give him a good walk as soon as I get home. Not ideal but it's a one off.

    Right better get ready for the longest day ever......
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