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    • LittleMissKitty
    • By LittleMissKitty 28th Mar 18, 12:33 PM
    • 389Posts
    • 669Thanks
    Embarrassed & a little scared
    • #1
    • 28th Mar 18, 12:33 PM
    Embarrassed & a little scared 28th Mar 18 at 12:33 PM
    Well the title says it all really

    Last time I was on here was nearly 3 years ago. I was debt free and planning a big house move and we were due a pretty big inheritance payment.

    Suffice to say things didn't go entirely to plan (though we made it in the end!) and now I am, decidedly, NOT debt free.

    We realised, at the end of last year, that we'd seriously screwed up the finances but it took for the car, the septic tank, and the washing machine to all die simultaneously last month before I really took a proper look at the situation.

    This morning I added it up and I'm horrified. We owe over 35k unsecured. I have no idea how we're ever going to get out of this. The house is falling apart around us and we can't afford to do any work on it, the car is due an MOT early May and it doesn't have a hope of passing without work (and we're not in a position to be without it.) and, on top of all of that my husband has just had his payslip and has, apparently, earned MORE than we expected this year so we're going to take a tax credits hit in a few months too.

    I'm not sure what we can cut back on as, despite our MASSIVE overspend, I'm actually still fairly on top of the necessities so our utilities and bills are all on the cheapest tariffs, we shop around and stick to own brand, never have haircuts, buy clothes from ebay (or Primark if I'm splashing out ) hubby takes packed lunches to work etc etc etc.

    I'm sure I'll get myself back on form but today I'm reeling from the shock and it's not nice.

    Last edited by LittleMissKitty; 28-03-2018 at 12:35 PM.
    DFD 22/7/14
    OD 1200 ~ CC1 1875 ~ CC2 1275 ~ Tesco 4757 ~ Creation 235 ~ FIL 25750
    DEBT @ 28/03/2018 = 35092

Page 2
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 29th Mar 18, 6:24 PM
    • 7,078 Posts
    • 15,326 Thanks
    Your car is obviously also a bit of a money pit so saving more each month is sensible. You do not appear to be doing that as you have no savings. You also have allocated nothing to holidays and as you went to New York you obviously take them. Having nothing for emergencies is not sensible. I can understand why the entertainment figure is so high with 5 children.

    It sounds like you are doing the right things so ultimately the only way you will have more available to pay down the debt is by you going back to work as well. Your travel costs, car costs,entertainment, grocery costs and Internet is high but are explained by you living out in the sticks presumably and having 5 children. As you can't do anything about those you either need to locate the missing 500 and eliminate expenses where you can or get extra work or move closer to work and school so you are not spending 75 a week on fuel. As you have just moved I am guessing that is no good though but on reflection that is something you should have considered along with the lack of internet access. With the benefit of hindsight and all that.

    I wish you well though and agree that creation is probably the first you should tackle. How much does your overdraft cost as those are usually fairly expensive? A spending diary is a must to find the 500 as I don't think that can all be going on dentists and opticians as the kids are oresumably free?
    Debt free and mortgage free and early retiree. Living the dream

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages and Endowments, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to
    • LittleMissKitty
    • By LittleMissKitty 29th Mar 18, 7:02 PM
    • 389 Posts
    • 669 Thanks
    The car has definitely proved a money pit! Hopefully that has now all been fixed though I suppose there's never really a way to know.

    Before we went nuts and completely screwed ourselves we used to put 900 aside each month to cover cars/holidays/Christmas & emergencies etc but I've had to stop and we've promised no more holidays until the debt is paid. Not having an emergency fund panics me no end but we're at a point now where the emergency is getting out of debt so I've had to cut it completely, at least for a few months while we get out of the overdraft.

    You're completely correct that we should have considered all this before the move, the fuel costs we anticipated (although we were hoping school transport would be available for all the kids instead of just the high school ones) but we were assured by BT that we would have broadband access so were really only expecting to pay 25-30 a month. The current costs were a shock.
    We're on a fixed 10yr mortgage so we're (happily) stuck here for the foreseeable future.

    Our overdrafts probably total 10 a month in interest so they're what I'm currently concentrating on, then I can skim any excess off the current accounts the day before payday and throw it at Creation.

    I think, being honest, the 500 has been sunk into the overdraft since Christmas, before that it was just us being horribly irresponsible. I'm hoping for budgetbrain to be back up and running soon so I can stick in some new figures and get my head round what our actual surplus is. For the moment I'll use this as a spending diary as it'll keep me focused!
    DFD 22/7/14
    OD 1200 ~ CC1 1875 ~ CC2 1275 ~ Tesco 4757 ~ Creation 235 ~ FIL 25750
    DEBT @ 28/03/2018 = 35092

    • WibblyGirly
    • By WibblyGirly 29th Mar 18, 8:10 PM
    • 416 Posts
    • 749 Thanks
    I don't know what your skills are but have you looked at sites like peopleperhour to see if you can do any jobs on there?
    • LittleMissKitty
    • By LittleMissKitty 29th Mar 18, 8:37 PM
    • 389 Posts
    • 669 Thanks
    Oh thanks Wibbly, I'd never heard of them and it looks like I may be able to get some work there.

    I'm a photographer and digital retoucher so it looks like it might be worth signing up. Awesome!
    DFD 22/7/14
    OD 1200 ~ CC1 1875 ~ CC2 1275 ~ Tesco 4757 ~ Creation 235 ~ FIL 25750
    DEBT @ 28/03/2018 = 35092

    • CapricornLass
    • By CapricornLass 31st Mar 18, 5:40 PM
    • 157 Posts
    • 517 Thanks
    I'm mulling over the internet issue. How often are you having to put an extra 20 to let the kids finish their homework?

    The reason I'm asking is that I pay for unlimited broadband, although I don't use any of the streaming services myself. Reason: when my son comes home he would attach his laptop to my router ( he is a programmer and also gives system support) and he would bust my data limit in a couple of hours. Paying for the extra was horrendous, and in the end I calculated that it was cheaper to pay for the unliited data upfront, rather than pay the extra data he used when he was home.

    I appreciate that you are on 4G routers rather than broadband, but I assume that there are different packages available to you. If you are regularly having to shell out for the extra data, it might be worth looking to see what the next band would cost you? It might be cheaper overall to pay a bit extra every month than have to fork out for the extra data when you need it, especially if this is happening every other month. And if your business takes off, then your data demands are going to up because of that too.
    Sealed Pot Challenge no 265.
    • Wizzbang
    • By Wizzbang 7th Apr 18, 8:39 PM
    • 4,386 Posts
    • 9,984 Thanks
    I'm afraid you're not going to get out of debt until you accept that some of the changes you need to make will be hard. You admit you have spent recklessly, therefore in order to get out of debt (if that's what you really want to achieve is going to involve sacrifices.

    Your children do not require extra curricular activities, you'd just like to give them that. Likewise, you don't need to drink alcohol. The fact is - you cannot afford to.

    I think it's also time to face up to some of the poor choices you've made in the last few years, as again you admit this has only happened in the last 2 or 3 years. It's fairly obvious you've moved to a place that you cannot afford. I'm sure you're not the first person not to consider how high your bills would be, or how much fuel you'd be spending. However, just because you are on a 10 year fixed rate mortgage DOES NOT mean that you cannot move house. In-fact if you're not prepared to cut back in other smaller ways, the quickest way you can tackle your debt is to sell-up. You need to consider down-sizing, or at least moving somewhere close to schools and utilities, like a landline and broadband!

    What you have said is completely inconsistent. On the one hand you're telling us/yourself that your kids need mobile phones because they have to catch 3 buses to get to school. In the next breath, you're telling us/ yourself that you have to have 2 cars because you have to get the kids to school and because you live 10 miles away, public transport is not an option. So which is the truth?

    You need to work it so that it's one method of transport or another (i.e. You take them all in the car, sure the older ones may have to get dropped off slightly early. Or they all go together on the bus which would save what you are spending on an unreliable car). Also, have you considered car-sharing with another parent, or paying them to drop off your children? Paying them a token amount of petrol money will be vastly cheaper than what you appear to be spending on your old banger. I've also never heard of a school not providing transport for children, and I was under the impression, in the UK anyway they were legally obliged to provide transport if you live more than a certain mileage away (depends on the age of your kids) providing you live in their catchment area. If you live outside the catchment, then I'm afraid that's another thing you should have considered before moving.

    Fact is, until 20 years ago - children (and parents) managed perfectly well without mobile phones. For kids to be spending 10 per month on a mobile phone is just stupidity. But, why can't they share a phone between them as a compromise? If they're only using it to contact you about transport problems, then really pay-as-you-go should be more than adequate with a basic handset. You just need to make it clear it's for emergencies only. I can see you're locked into poor value deals with a provider. You need to get onto SIM only and pronto. Look into whether any exit fees would be beaten by the savings you'd make by switching.

    And I'm sorry, but no-one needs to have Netflix, not when they are grossly in debt. It's time to get real. And you're paying for an internet router solely to have Netflix? Mind-boggling. And if you think your children will be suffering from not having TV, then you need to think again! Likewise, with the internet - why can't they use it at school or for free at a local library? It's not going to kill them, it's actually going to make them more resourceful, more respectful of the cost and more discriminating in what they choose to view.

    Also, where are you actually food shopping? Do you have Aldi or Lidl as options? People regularly say they can save 30% off their bill by shopping there.

    Finally, what are the realities of your business idea? Has it been up, running and profitable in the past and you're trying to revive it? If not, then I think you'd be better trying to get a job as an employee until you're debt free. Being self-employed is never stable income (speaking as one who knows). It's just not what you need when you have debts and/or mortgage.

    The truth here seems to be that your move has been the source of all your financial woes and it strikes me you need to reverse that decision ASAP and get yourself back on your feet.
    Extra income since 01/11/12 34,764.67
    (Not inc coupons, yellow stickies, bank interest or loyalty rewards because I have better things to do than catalogue everything!) Swagbucks 2,548.50
    • Onebrokelady
    • By Onebrokelady 8th Apr 18, 8:06 PM
    • 575 Posts
    • 2,176 Thanks
    Maybe the younger children go to school by car and the older by bus,I wouldn't let. 5 year old travel on the bus to school and I think you are being a bit harsh in your reply!
    Just keep swimming
    Original Debt Owed Jan 18 = 17,630 Paid To Date = 1,172 Total Now Owed = 16,458
    Emergency Fund = 450.00 Xmas savings = 300.00
    • Onebrokelady
    • By Onebrokelady 8th Apr 18, 8:08 PM
    • 575 Posts
    • 2,176 Thanks
    Do you have the option of DMPs in N Ireland if so and your not bothered about your credit file you could consider going down that route,I wish you good luck and hope you manage to sort it out
    Forgot to say you can set up a diary in the Debt Free Diaries section of the board,I set one up just after I joined and I use it to ramble on about life in general and my journey to becoming debt free,Im finding it really useful
    Last edited by Onebrokelady; 08-04-2018 at 8:13 PM.
    Just keep swimming
    Original Debt Owed Jan 18 = 17,630 Paid To Date = 1,172 Total Now Owed = 16,458
    Emergency Fund = 450.00 Xmas savings = 300.00
    • Floxxie
    • By Floxxie 9th Apr 18, 10:13 AM
    • 2,830 Posts
    • 5,284 Thanks
    Ok as someone who has moved from England to NI, I understand your difficulties. Outside of the two cities, it is rural. Options you have in the rest of the UK do not exist here.

    It is normal over here to put children on buses from the time they start school. School holidays are different for each school. Mobiles are essential for children out travelling. Transport issues, school half days and other disruptions are normal. Internet options are limited. Gas and electric options are extremely limited. Jobs are rare: let alone ones that fit around children. Public transport is awful and expensive. Food shopping is more expensive over here and the range of shops is not as wide. It has been an eye opener.

    Anyway are you able to use this internet option: Bluebox ?
    • louby40
    • By louby40 9th Apr 18, 11:52 AM
    • 1,363 Posts
    • 3,732 Thanks
    I think your food budget is amazing for a family of 7. I honestly don't know how you would reduce it further.

    Come over to the debt free diary board, you'll get lots of support over there!
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