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  • FIRST POST
    • pidge04
    • By pidge04 26th Mar 18, 6:18 PM
    • 535Posts
    • 1,469Thanks
    pidge04
    I want to believe I can do this!
    • #1
    • 26th Mar 18, 6:18 PM
    I want to believe I can do this! 26th Mar 18 at 6:18 PM
    Is this how I start a diary? I don't know whether anyone would want to read it but I hope it will keep me focussed and on track to becoming debt free. I am inspired by the diaries I've read here and would welcome advice when I get started.
Page 18
    • BabyStepper
    • By BabyStepper 30th Sep 18, 6:38 PM
    • 135 Posts
    • 354 Thanks
    BabyStepper
    Hi there pidge04

    I've just read your diary and wanted to congratulate you on all your progress. You are doing so well...keep going! The rewards will be worth all the sacrifice. Looking forward to hearing about you paying off those two credit cards by the end of the year, what an achievement!
    • pidge04
    • By pidge04 30th Sep 18, 9:28 PM
    • 535 Posts
    • 1,469 Thanks
    pidge04
    Hi there pidge04

    I've just read your diary and wanted to congratulate you on all your progress. You are doing so well...keep going! The rewards will be worth all the sacrifice. Looking forward to hearing about you paying off those two credit cards by the end of the year, what an achievement!
    Originally posted by BabyStepper
    Thank you SO much for this lovely post! I massively appreciate it!
    Yes, it is pretty hard going at the moment but I must bear in mind that by the end of this year, I will have paid almost £7,000 off my debt. And that makes my load a lot lighter. I hope you are doing well. I am just going to take a look at your diary.
    CC1 £2400/£267 CC2 £3000/£2269 LOAN £13,000/£4871
    • pidge04
    • By pidge04 1st Oct 18, 6:23 AM
    • 535 Posts
    • 1,469 Thanks
    pidge04
    Day 7 81 days left!

    I feel quite bruised by the negative experience of the weekend. Keen to put it right behind me and move forward. Didn’t spend anything yesterday and today will be the same. I wonder if I could get through the week without spending a single penny! I looked at the bag of bits I had got together to sell and there is more in there than I thought. I must put them up for sale!! I may well have £20 worth of debt reducing money sitting in that bag!! Have a good, cheap week!
    CC1 £2400/£267 CC2 £3000/£2269 LOAN £13,000/£4871
    • GlendaSugarbean
    • By GlendaSugarbean 1st Oct 18, 8:22 AM
    • 324 Posts
    • 2,388 Thanks
    GlendaSugarbean
    Chin up Pidge, you did well in stepping away from a stressful situation. Hope you have a nice quiet week .
    • abba1772
    • By abba1772 1st Oct 18, 8:37 AM
    • 5,393 Posts
    • 20,257 Thanks
    abba1772
    Sorry you had a bad experience with the baby sitting.....look at it as a blessing in disguise as I wouldn't tolerate a family treating me like that, I've been childminding for 7 years now and I've had to develop a thick skin and you will too eventually

    Don't be put off as their are wonderful families out there that you require your services xx
    NEXT TARGET VERY WAS Dec 18 £591.94 NOW £122.39
    POAMAYC 2011 £6382.66 POAMAYC 2012 £5000.78
    POAMAYC 2013 £3480.04 POAMAYC 2014 £4085.14
    POAMAYC 2015 £7565.24 POAMAYC 2016 £8000.90
    POAMAYC 2017 £7278.80 POAMAYC 2018 £12794.70
    • SavingAFuture
    • By SavingAFuture 1st Oct 18, 10:09 AM
    • 114 Posts
    • 228 Thanks
    SavingAFuture
    So sorry to hear you had a bad experience with your babysitting. That is not OK.
    People seem to forget that they are dealing with other human beings sometimes.
    Still - chin up and keep moving forward. Don't let one individual set you back when you've been doing so well on your own journey. x
    Proudly on my debt free journey
    CC1: £0/2120.60 CC2: £860/£3239.99
    • efes shareholder
    • By efes shareholder 1st Oct 18, 10:42 AM
    • 395 Posts
    • 1,043 Thanks
    efes shareholder
    Sounds like you have been dealing with a bit of a challenging parent

    Some people seem to go through life just wanting to reap a bit of misery on to others

    Be thankful you won't be dealing with them anymore
    • Siebrie
    • By Siebrie 1st Oct 18, 11:24 AM
    • 1,292 Posts
    • 20,562 Thanks
    Siebrie
    Hi Pidge, I have read through your diary over the weekend, and you seem to be doing well; keep going!

    You said somewhere in the beginning that you didn't want to discuss your relationship with your partner (I assume he is the father of your dd), but I think you should at least think hard about how you want to handle the disparity in income, and in household and childrearing contribution. For instance: that iron that you bought, whose clothes are ironed with that the most? And who does most of the ironing?

    Amy Dacyczyn mentions in The Tightwad Gazette that she and her husband have equalized their fulltime/parttime/freelance/non-working discrepancies by calculating 'hours worked per day, in whatever shape or form'. So, doing laundry counted as much as going to an office. No-one sat down to read a paper until they could all sit down.

    From the few remarks you made, I think your husband is from a different culture, and that his relatives in his homecountry are relatively poor. Is there any way you can discuss a budget in regards to helping them out? Note that I am not saying 'don't help them out', as I am in a marriage with an African partner and see the demands and needs firsthand. A book that helped me is 'helping without hurting'; it's christian faith based, but gives overall sensible advice.

    I am sorry if this feels like prying where you don't want people to pry, that is not my intention.
    Wombling to wealth 2018 € 811,63 = £ 720.56
    Still a womble 2017 #25 € 7116,68 = £ 6309.50
    Wombling Free 2016 #2 € 3.483,31 = £ 2,969.05
    • pidge04
    • By pidge04 1st Oct 18, 6:07 PM
    • 535 Posts
    • 1,469 Thanks
    pidge04
    Sorry you had a bad experience with the baby sitting.....look at it as a blessing in disguise as I wouldn't tolerate a family treating me like that, I've been childminding for 7 years now and I've had to develop a thick skin and you will too eventually

    Don't be put off as their are wonderful families out there that you require your services xx
    Originally posted by abba1772
    Thanks so much for this. I think it shows how fragile I am feeling at the moment that I was so hurt by this. Maybe again in the future when I am stronger.
    CC1 £2400/£267 CC2 £3000/£2269 LOAN £13,000/£4871
    • pidge04
    • By pidge04 1st Oct 18, 6:08 PM
    • 535 Posts
    • 1,469 Thanks
    pidge04
    So sorry to hear you had a bad experience with your babysitting. That is not OK.
    People seem to forget that they are dealing with other human beings sometimes.
    Still - chin up and keep moving forward. Don't let one individual set you back when you've been doing so well on your own journey. x
    Originally posted by SavingAFuture
    Thank you so much.
    CC1 £2400/£267 CC2 £3000/£2269 LOAN £13,000/£4871
    • pidge04
    • By pidge04 1st Oct 18, 6:17 PM
    • 535 Posts
    • 1,469 Thanks
    pidge04
    Hi Pidge, I have read through your diary over the weekend, and you seem to be doing well; keep going!

    You said somewhere in the beginning that you didn't want to discuss your relationship with your partner (I assume he is the father of your dd), but I think you should at least think hard about how you want to handle the disparity in income, and in household and childrearing contribution. For instance: that iron that you bought, whose clothes are ironed with that the most? And who does most of the ironing?

    Amy Dacyczyn mentions in The Tightwad Gazette that she and her husband have equalized their fulltime/parttime/freelance/non-working discrepancies by calculating 'hours worked per day, in whatever shape or form'. So, doing laundry counted as much as going to an office. No-one sat down to read a paper until they could all sit down.

    From the few remarks you made, I think your husband is from a different culture, and that his relatives in his homecountry are relatively poor. Is there any way you can discuss a budget in regards to helping them out? Note that I am not saying 'don't help them out', as I am in a marriage with an African partner and see the demands and needs firsthand. A book that helped me is 'helping without hurting'; it's christian faith based, but gives overall sensible advice.

    I am sorry if this feels like prying where you don't want people to pry, that is not my intention.
    Originally posted by Siebrie
    Ah, interesting. Thanks so much for this. Yes, he does come from a different country and a different culture. I find it all extremely complicated to be honest. I don't quite know how to articulate my feelings about him, our relationship, our financial arrangements and how on earth we will move apart in the future. I couldn't sleep one night last week and I wrote him a letter in the middle of the night - it all felt very clear then. I haven't done anything with that letter. It just feels completely hopeless. When I have no debt, I will have more options. Can't carry on like this. That wouldn't be healthy for any of us. Sorry … a bit vague and wishy washy … just don't have any clarity on this, I'm afraid.
    CC1 £2400/£267 CC2 £3000/£2269 LOAN £13,000/£4871
    • Siebrie
    • By Siebrie 2nd Oct 18, 4:52 PM
    • 1,292 Posts
    • 20,562 Thanks
    Siebrie
    Can you discuss a budget regarding family help with your husband? We set aside something every month for those cases that the relatives urgently need money, for instance a sameday funeral. We also gift 100EUR for every wedding and baby. That said, husband took all his femal relatives to a clinic when he was there in May for a free (governmentfunded) birth control implant. He will do so again with any other female relatives and friends next time he visits.

    We help one child per family (husband has 8 brothers and sisters) through vocational training, with the message that it will be their job to help their own family as soon as they have graduated.

    Every time husband goes to visit for a month, we (I) calculate a budget: flights and stay, gift per person down to the cent, money for house improvements down to the cent (it is his sister's house, but neither sister nor other relatives claim to have money to maintain it - a sore point...). Both in European and local currency, printed out with tick boxes, so that husband keeps track.

    I regularly (once or twice a year) write down everything that bothers me and email it to him, then we have a good talk and can continue. I have to be very upfront, insist on getting my way at times, and check that we understand each other.

    Maybe you would like to join the kondo threat on the Old Style board? It's great for pointing you towards the things, events, and people that bring you joy.
    Last edited by Siebrie; 02-10-2018 at 5:36 PM.
    Wombling to wealth 2018 € 811,63 = £ 720.56
    Still a womble 2017 #25 € 7116,68 = £ 6309.50
    Wombling Free 2016 #2 € 3.483,31 = £ 2,969.05
    • pidge04
    • By pidge04 3rd Oct 18, 4:28 AM
    • 535 Posts
    • 1,469 Thanks
    pidge04
    Can you discuss a budget regarding family help with your husband? We set aside something every month for those cases that the relatives urgently need money, for instance a sameday funeral. We also gift 100EUR for every wedding and baby. That said, husband took all his femal relatives to a clinic when he was there in May for a free (governmentfunded) birth control implant. He will do so again with any other female relatives and friends next time he visits.

    We help one child per family (husband has 8 brothers and sisters) through vocational training, with the message that it will be their job to help their own family as soon as they have graduated.

    Every time husband goes to visit for a month, we (I) calculate a budget: flights and stay, gift per person down to the cent, money for house improvements down to the cent (it is his sister's house, but neither sister nor other relatives claim to have money to maintain it - a sore point...). Both in European and local currency, printed out with tick boxes, so that husband keeps track.

    I regularly (once or twice a year) write down everything that bothers me and email it to him, then we have a good talk and can continue. I have to be very upfront, insist on getting my way at times, and check that we understand each other.

    Maybe you would like to join the kondo threat on the Old Style board? It's great for pointing you towards the things, events, and people that bring you joy.
    Originally posted by Siebrie
    Wow, that is really impressive.
    CC1 £2400/£267 CC2 £3000/£2269 LOAN £13,000/£4871
    • pidge04
    • By pidge04 3rd Oct 18, 6:39 AM
    • 535 Posts
    • 1,469 Thanks
    pidge04
    A mere 79 days to go!
    CC1 £2400/£267 CC2 £3000/£2269 LOAN £13,000/£4871
    • pidge04
    • By pidge04 7th Oct 18, 10:01 PM
    • 535 Posts
    • 1,469 Thanks
    pidge04
    75 days until my 2 smaller credit cards debt are no longer...it’s tough this month...but all direct debits have been paid...2 weeks until pay day and more debt busting!
    CC1 £2400/£267 CC2 £3000/£2269 LOAN £13,000/£4871
    • abba1772
    • By abba1772 9th Oct 18, 8:22 PM
    • 5,393 Posts
    • 20,257 Thanks
    abba1772
    That's not long at all ..........how exciting you'll be two debts providers down xx
    NEXT TARGET VERY WAS Dec 18 £591.94 NOW £122.39
    POAMAYC 2011 £6382.66 POAMAYC 2012 £5000.78
    POAMAYC 2013 £3480.04 POAMAYC 2014 £4085.14
    POAMAYC 2015 £7565.24 POAMAYC 2016 £8000.90
    POAMAYC 2017 £7278.80 POAMAYC 2018 £12794.70
    • ftbwannabe
    • By ftbwannabe 12th Oct 18, 7:25 PM
    • 209 Posts
    • 702 Thanks
    ftbwannabe
    Happy weekend, pidge
    saving for house-buying costs £1902
    emergency fund £250//1330
    debts £1295/£17,484 |
    • pidge04
    • By pidge04 16th Oct 18, 12:11 AM
    • 535 Posts
    • 1,469 Thanks
    pidge04
    Hello
    The days are whizzing by. Work has been all consuming.
    I’m starting to get the credit cards bills through for next month. Debating whether to pay off the balance on the lowest credit card so that is clear. And the minimum on the second lowest. Or whether to stick to my plan of paying them off together. Not sure.
    These last few days I have been tempted to put a couple of things onto my credit cards (like Christmas presents) but have resisted. I’m so pleased I have.
    I’ve been wondering whether to just pay minimums and have a bit of spare cash to spend on Christmas. However, my motivation to pay off these 2 debts is stronger than my motivation to consume at Christmas.
    In my mind, I am expecting that things will be less tough come the New Year when 2 debts will be paid off. Then I remember there’s still the big credit card debt and the overdrafts and the loan...I am not out of the woods!!
    But I am in a better position than last year.
    CC1 £2400/£267 CC2 £3000/£2269 LOAN £13,000/£4871
    • Danthewelder
    • By Danthewelder 16th Oct 18, 12:27 AM
    • 14 Posts
    • 23 Thanks
    Danthewelder
    Good luck. You're debts may feel hideous but at least you've got a reasonable amount of money coming in.

    I earn a reasonable amount but have never not been in debt. I think my problem is that my budgets are never 100% realistic.

    E.g. when you say 'I don't know where the extra money goes' - that has always been my problem.

    Anyway good luck, I'll be following in hope of inspiration.
    • efes shareholder
    • By efes shareholder 16th Oct 18, 8:30 AM
    • 395 Posts
    • 1,043 Thanks
    efes shareholder
    Just keep reminding yourself how far you have come and how much you have acheived so far

    You may not have cleared the forest but you can see the wood from the trees
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