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  • FIRST POST
    • FabApocalypse
    • By FabApocalypse 20th Mar 18, 2:17 PM
    • 26Posts
    • 25Thanks
    FabApocalypse
    So many questions!
    • #1
    • 20th Mar 18, 2:17 PM
    So many questions! 20th Mar 18 at 2:17 PM
    I lost my mum at the weekend; I reported my concern for her welfare when I hadn't received my usual daily call from her. The police broke in and found her on the sofa. She had already passed away, and the case has been referred to the Coroner, whose office I'm waiting to hear from with regard to certifying her death.

    Mum didn't cope at all with losing dad and basically withdrew from the world and much of daily life. We weren't estranged, we spoke daily and I visited regularly but having been to the house yesterday I realise she had hidden just how very bad things were.

    Paperwork-wise, she doesn't appear to have dealt with any post since about 2014, though so far I've not come across any unpaid bills. Growing up, I remember an organised smart cookie who was on top of everything, so her slow decline and what's been left behind is coming as a bit of a shock. She wouldn't engage with any sort of help, though many tried.

    I've found copies of the wills and they are quite simple. My dad died in 2012, he left everything to mum and mum has now left everything to me; I'm an only child and there's no other family. I am appointed executor.

    Dad had a funeral plan but mum, it seems, did not. There are funds in the estate on having a quick look at bank statements but I'm on benefits (I have MS amongst other things and haven't worked for ten years, though the DWP have lately given me zero points so I'm heading for a tribunal) and don't have any funds available now.

    Am I correct in understanding that I need a grant of probate to access the funds, but I also need to work out what the estate is worth to get that? How do I do that without access to the funds? And I have to pay a fee to apply?

    Also if I remember rightly - and mum's not here now to ask - the original wills (which I need to send to apply) were deposited at a solicitor's office which is no longer there. I think she had to contact the law society and arrange something with them instead? But there's no paper trail.

    I'm not sure how I can arrange a funeral without funds to pay for it...

    Do you have to have a 'funeral'? As in a ceremony? Because there's only me left and I would rather quietly wave her off and am sure she would rather be quietly waved off.

    I know this seems a bit early to be worrying but nevertheless I am worried about dealing with officialdom when every step seems to need the input of funds I don't have. I've no idea how to value the house, which is in very poor condition, not having been looked after for some years now.

    Would it be simpler for me to speak to a solicitor or similar and get them to do the work for me? Is that even allowed? Would it be very expensive?

    My local CAB is frantically busy, or I'd get in touch with them; I'll be seeing them about my tribunal but the earliest appointment they had is 10th April!

    Beyond sad and so confused!
Page 3
    • FabApocalypse
    • By FabApocalypse 9th Apr 18, 8:40 PM
    • 26 Posts
    • 25 Thanks
    FabApocalypse
    Time has passed and we have some progress.

    Finally managed to register mum's death last Thursday and bought some extra certificates. I've spoken to her main bank and they have agreed to release funds to pay for the funeral, which is a huge help.

    I've found a lovely funeral director who will take care of all the arrangements. As there is only me, there won't be a service or ceremony on the day of cremation. I'll perhaps do something when I have mum and dad together again.

    The original Wills have turned up! I found a note in mum's writing which indicated that she'd asked about the Wills but not followed through or had them sent to her, but it seems she had, bless her, she'd just not done anything with them. I came across them this morning. So that should make some things easier at any rate.

    I have started to send off death certificates to those organisations that need them to give me figures in order to start the Grant of Probate application.

    Feeling a little bit calmer, now, having had a hectic few days of sorting and travelling. Things are underway, and as others have said, cant be hurried.

    Once the paperwork is sorted, THEN I'll think about what the heck to do about the house.
    • Yorkshireman99
    • By Yorkshireman99 9th Apr 18, 8:58 PM
    • 3,979 Posts
    • 3,247 Thanks
    Yorkshireman99
    Time has passed and we have some progress.

    Finally managed to register mum's death last Thursday and bought some extra certificates. I've spoken to her main bank and they have agreed to release funds to pay for the funeral, which is a huge help.

    I've found a lovely funeral director who will take care of all the arrangements. As there is only me, there won't be a service or ceremony on the day of cremation. I'll perhaps do something when I have mum and dad together again.

    The original Wills have turned up! I found a note in mum's writing which indicated that she'd asked about the Wills but not followed through or had them sent to her, but it seems she had, bless her, she'd just not done anything with them. I came across them this morning. So that should make some things easier at any rate.

    I have started to send off death certificates to those organisations that need them to give me figures in order to start the Grant of Probate application.

    Feeling a little bit calmer, now, having had a hectic few days of sorting and travelling. Things are underway, and as others have said, cant be hurried.

    Once the paperwork is sorted, THEN I'll think about what the heck to do about the house.
    Originally posted by FabApocalypse
    Well done!. Keep your spirits up and ask if you need more help. You CAN do it!
    • jalvpa
    • By jalvpa 10th Apr 18, 9:04 AM
    • 11 Posts
    • 1 Thanks
    jalvpa
    firstly thats awful for you, we had a similar situation happen when we went to pick my MIL up on Xmas day.

    If she has been referred to the Coroner, you will get an interim certificate which will allow you to carry out a burial, takes a bit longer to come through (ours was 5 weeks but that was a Xmas period). Speak to a local funeral director they have so much information and have been through every situation imaginable and can advise you.

    Speak to her bank also and explain the situation, if she has money to cover her funeral they should pay the funeral director direct. We had to bring ID and a copy of the will.

    Hope this helps.
    • newleaf
    • By newleaf 10th Apr 18, 4:41 PM
    • 3,003 Posts
    • 3,438 Thanks
    newleaf
    Good to hear that things are finally moving along. For me, everything is pretty much sorted. Mum is currently 'resting' on my dining room table, in the form of ashes, awaiting interrment.
    She left very little in terms of funds, and did not own property, so all was unexpectedly very straightforward in my case. Hope things will soon be settled for you too.
    Official DFW Nerd No 096 - Proud to have dealt with my debt!
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