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  • FIRST POST
    • Tygermoth
    • By Tygermoth 20th Mar 18, 11:08 AM
    • 1,358Posts
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    Tygermoth
    Visiting tradesman -your responsibility?
    • #1
    • 20th Mar 18, 11:08 AM
    Visiting tradesman -your responsibility? 20th Mar 18 at 11:08 AM
    We had an issue with our boiler over last week. We have home emergency cover and they sent out a gentleman to fix it. Sadly it turned out to be pumping out carbon monoxide and was switched off by the engineer (moral of that little story get a carbon monoxide meter people!)

    This necessitated several visits to fix the thing and on each occasion the engineer parking in the bay to the front of the house which has several marked spaces and a visitors spot. However on the last visit he arrived before us and for reasons known only to him he parked in the lane that runs along the side of our house that goes to two further houses instead.

    Its seems that that the gentleman who lives in the house that owns the lane went out and asked him to move. By all accounts things escalated rapidly and each states the other threw a punch. No one saw this and a whole mess of he said she said was done. Police were called (did not arrive apparently) and drama ensued all over before we got home.

    Totally clueless to what had been going on I wander up to my front door to find the lane owner camped out on our doorstep foaming at the mouth livid. We have had some mild run ins before regards a damp spot (which still remains) on a wall that can only be accessed from our garden and wanting comp for guttering he felt our tree contributed to falling off so he is rather rude to me as standard.

    He was rather aggressive and did not react well when I advised that I was not aware anything had happened (he had assumed the plumber would have called me in the intervening time). He launched in to the fact that my employee had caused distress and assaulted him. I advised he was not my employee and was wholly instructed by my insurance company. At that point he accused me of flim- flamming him and I pay the insurer so to get my head out of my rear. (well, a less polite version)

    This morning I have received a card through the door stating that the plumber was paid by me so therefore employed by me, he does not give two hoots what method that payment was made for example through an insurer. He is demanding several things but the main gist he is getting at is some form of compensation for the behaviour of my employee on his land.

    I had provided him the complaints number for the insurer but he has decided that I am the quote ultimately responsible party unquote and refused to speak or deal with them. I have sent a copy of the card over to the insurer who seems to be rather casual regards the whole thing, which I can see why on a totally unwitnessed issue.

    So my plan is a broken record approach of that I have passed everything along to the legal team at the insurer and not engage.

    However my OH is working from home today and has spotted him coming round to the front of the house every time a car parks up in the bay so it looks like he is looking to catch me coming home.

    I never want to make assumptions so I am just checking I am not going to get in trouble right?
    Last edited by Tygermoth; 20-03-2018 at 11:18 AM.
    Please note I have a cognitive disability - as such my wording can be a bit off, muddled, misspelt or in some cases i can miss out some words totally...
Page 7
    • Slinky
    • By Slinky 11th Apr 18, 8:41 PM
    • 5,390 Posts
    • 25,327 Thanks
    Slinky
    If it's a private lane is there anything stopping you painting a yellow box junction on the road as a visible deterrent?
    • AnotherJoe
    • By AnotherJoe 11th Apr 18, 9:13 PM
    • 10,166 Posts
    • 11,443 Thanks
    AnotherJoe
    Yes, but ... unless it's mounted on a couple of posts / bollards, the OP is going to have to agree to have one side mounted on her property, no?

    You can get freestanding bollards, although there'd be a risk that they might 'walk' or just be moved. Although I think they would deter the casual school parkers ...
    Originally posted by Savvy_Sue
    A small hook. Don't see an issue
    • bouicca21
    • By bouicca21 11th Apr 18, 11:28 PM
    • 3,815 Posts
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    bouicca21
    I think I'd be harking back to student days and pinching a couple of traffic cones to place on the lane.
    • Davesnave
    • By Davesnave 12th Apr 18, 9:13 AM
    • 25,864 Posts
    • 94,194 Thanks
    Davesnave
    I think it's up to the OP to decide what's 'acceptable;' not us.

    Plenty of houses have street signs and other notices on them, other people's gate posts stuck next to them, electricity wires secured to them, hooks in walls etc.

    It's no big deal to those owners who are perhaps less 'territorial' than some on here!
    I might be old, but I got to see a lot of good bands...
    • YoungBlueEyes
    • By YoungBlueEyes 13th Apr 18, 12:26 AM
    • 309 Posts
    • 324 Thanks
    YoungBlueEyes
    I'm a bit late to this post but I've just read it all and I have a couple of suggestions.

    1. Re the people parking in the lane/bollard/sign issue - could yous not paint a nice big red "no entry" circle on the ground? With the owners permission of course. That would hopefully stop the school run cars etc, but not, say, ambulances etc.

    2. Re him banging on your door and ringing the bell. (This is a Plan B for if the get-together doesn't work.) Maybe a shock tactic would work? One day when you're home all day, and he's in banging+ringing like a maniac mode, answer the door in a clear state of distress. Bit of prep required like, back comb your hair, mascara all down your face, work yourself up into a proper crying + shaking mess, then answer the door with "you've got to STOP this! Look at what you're DOING to me! You're really scaring me and I don't know if I can TAKE it any more!!" Lots of sobbing and shaking and wiping of nose on palm of hand. "I'm sorry, I can't HELP where people park but you're driving me CRAZY with all this and YOU HAVE TO STOP!!" Sob sob shakey shakey.

    Like that. I've done this before and it worked an absolute treat.

    Then close the door on him, have a stiff drink, and lament how we've put feminism back 20 years.
    • moneyistooshorttomention
    • By moneyistooshorttomention 13th Apr 18, 9:08 AM
    • 16,398 Posts
    • 45,402 Thanks
    moneyistooshorttomention
    I'm a bit late to this post but I've just read it all and I have a couple of suggestions.

    1. Re the people parking in the lane/bollard/sign issue - could yous not paint a nice big red "no entry" circle on the ground? With the owners permission of course. That would hopefully stop the school run cars etc, but not, say, ambulances etc.

    2. Re him banging on your door and ringing the bell. (This is a Plan B for if the get-together doesn't work.) Maybe a shock tactic would work? One day when you're home all day, and he's in banging+ringing like a maniac mode, answer the door in a clear state of distress. Bit of prep required like, back comb your hair, mascara all down your face, work yourself up into a proper crying + shaking mess, then answer the door with "you've got to STOP this! Look at what you're DOING to me! You're really scaring me and I don't know if I can TAKE it any more!!" Lots of sobbing and shaking and wiping of nose on palm of hand. "I'm sorry, I can't HELP where people park but you're driving me CRAZY with all this and YOU HAVE TO STOP!!" Sob sob shakey shakey.

    Like that. I've done this before and it worked an absolute treat.

    Then close the door on him, have a stiff drink, and lament how we've put feminism back 20 years.
    Originally posted by YoungBlueEyes
    Not a tactic I would advocate personally - I've had someone "in the wrong" (ie a flytipper - so yep...most definitely in the wrong) trying a variant on me.

    It didn't work - I was going to persist with calling a flytipper a flytipper

    ....and...yep....I'll admit that once the looks (such as they were) had aged (darn it- but at least they werent transfixed by my boobs any longer looking at the plus side) I stopped using "feminine wiles" and just say factual things like "I'm not strong enough to lift/do so-and-so. Can I ask you to for me please". They do it - job done. So I'm not in favour of pulling that stunt myself - on the whole I think it's pretty discredited these days....
    ****************
    • TBagpuss
    • By TBagpuss 13th Apr 18, 11:25 AM
    • 6,695 Posts
    • 8,742 Thanks
    TBagpuss

    2. Re him banging on your door and ringing the bell. (This is a Plan B for if the get-together doesn't work.) Maybe a shock tactic would work? One day when you're home all day, and he's in banging+ringing like a maniac mode, answer the door in a clear state of distress. Bit of prep required like, back comb your hair, mascara all down your face, work yourself up into a proper crying + shaking mess, then answer the door with "you've got to STOP this! Look at what you're DOING to me! You're really scaring me and I don't know if I can TAKE it any more!!" Lots of sobbing and shaking and wiping of nose on palm of hand. "I'm sorry, I can't HELP where people park but you're driving me CRAZY with all this and YOU HAVE TO STOP!!" Sob sob shakey shakey.

    Like that. I've done this before and it worked an absolute treat.

    Then close the door on him, have a stiff drink, and lament how we've put feminism back 20 years.
    Originally posted by YoungBlueEyes
    I once accidentally did almost the opposite. I was in the middle of jointing a hare and due to my lack of familiarity with its anatomy, and the less than ideal knife it got quite messy.
    My doorbell rang, and assuming it was my parents, who were due to arrive, I went to the door as I was.
    The Jehovah's Witnesses on the doorstep took one look at this rather stressed looking woman with blood on her hands and apron, and a large, bloody knife in one had, and said 'er, this doesn't look like a good time. We can come back later..' (And then we went from them showing up about once every three months, to not showing up at all for about 2 years, which was an unexpected bonus!)
    • moneyistooshorttomention
    • By moneyistooshorttomention 13th Apr 18, 12:17 PM
    • 16,398 Posts
    • 45,402 Thanks
    moneyistooshorttomention
    I once accidentally did almost the opposite. I was in the middle of jointing a hare and due to my lack of familiarity with its anatomy, and the less than ideal knife it got quite messy.
    My doorbell rang, and assuming it was my parents, who were due to arrive, I went to the door as I was.
    The Jehovah's Witnesses on the doorstep took one look at this rather stressed looking woman with blood on her hands and apron, and a large, bloody knife in one had, and said 'er, this doesn't look like a good time. We can come back later..' (And then we went from them showing up about once every three months, to not showing up at all for about 2 years, which was an unexpected bonus!)
    Originally posted by TBagpuss
    I shouldnt laugh should I....(ahem...being a vegetarian).

    Personally - I think I might have seen the "first and last" of JW's calling here when I said "No thanks. I'm not interested......but she might be" - and pointed in the direction of the nfh next door. That was very wicked of me wasnt it? But they haven't been back again since.....
    ****************
    • YoungBlueEyes
    • By YoungBlueEyes 13th Apr 18, 9:45 PM
    • 309 Posts
    • 324 Thanks
    YoungBlueEyes
    Yep I agree. A flytipper is a flytipper is a flytipper. Histrionics outta someone who is clearly in the wrong is pathetic and would leave me unmoved too.

    But this ain't that.

    OP is a woman on her own (if I remember correctly) being harrassed/hassled by a man who won't stop. No matter if the lane is his and it's his right to not have people parking on it, for whatever their reason. That does not excuse his actions, which are far and away above what would be considered a reasonable response. He's annoyed and angry that people aren't listening to him when he's making a perfectly reasonable request. I know people aren't perfect, and you can tell a tradesman 100 times not to park here but park over there please and they'll sometimes just do as they like.

    But this is a man with a temper, who does not listen to reason, and will not be swayed from his position. IMO it's not acceptable for him to be banging on my door at length and leaning on my doorbell every time someone parks there. Has anyone else had this done to them? Neighbours I mean. Or is it just you OP? Added to that the fact that the police didn't provide any help, I'd do this if I thought it would bring an end to it, whether it was discredited or not.
    • YoungBlueEyes
    • By YoungBlueEyes 13th Apr 18, 9:52 PM
    • 309 Posts
    • 324 Thanks
    YoungBlueEyes
    As for discouraging JW's/cold callers/door knockers or whoever, I have 2 effective + well-used tactics.
    Depending what kind of mood I'm in I'll either say "Sure I'd love to hear all about it, but first you must let me tell you how the loving light of Lucifer has completely changed my life". Or if I can't be bothered I just say (very poshly, no accent, rounded vowels) "Oh I am so sorry, but I don't speak a word of English", then smile sweetly and close the door.

    ETA What does nfh stand for? I can't work it out...
    • Lavendyr
    • By Lavendyr 13th Apr 18, 10:16 PM
    • 2,092 Posts
    • 1,906 Thanks
    Lavendyr
    I don't get why everyone is saying the OP and neighbours should have to put up signs etc! Surely if the neighbour is this bothered he should be doing these things himself! In the meantime I'd keep a log of his harrassment and report him to the police as needed. I would certainly report the vandalism and mention suspicions re neighbour!
    • i want to believe
    • By i want to believe 13th Apr 18, 11:32 PM
    • 134 Posts
    • 267 Thanks
    i want to believe
    [QUOTE=YoungBlueEyes;74159040]As for discouraging JW's/cold callers/door knockers or whoever, I have 2 effective + well-used tactics.
    Depending what kind of mood I'm in I'll either say "Sure I'd love to hear all about it, but first you must let me tell you how the loving light of Lucifer has completely changed my life". Or if I can't be bothered I just say (very poshly, no accent, rounded vowels) "Oh I am so sorry, but I don't speak a word of English", then smile sweetly and close the door.

    ETA What does nfh stand for? I can't work it out...[/QUOTe

    Neighbour from hell?
    • YoungBlueEyes
    • By YoungBlueEyes 13th Apr 18, 11:37 PM
    • 309 Posts
    • 324 Thanks
    YoungBlueEyes
    Thanks very much! I was thinking the 'f' stood for something far less polite...
    • elsien
    • By elsien 14th Apr 18, 12:09 AM
    • 16,898 Posts
    • 42,667 Thanks
    elsien
    I'm a bit late to this post but I've just read it all and I have a couple of suggestions.

    1. Re the people parking in the lane/bollard/sign issue - could yous not paint a nice big red "no entry" circle on the ground? With the owners permission of course. That would hopefully stop the school run cars etc, but not, say, ambulances etc.

    2. Re him banging on your door and ringing the bell. (This is a Plan B for if the get-together doesn't work.) Maybe a shock tactic would work? One day when you're home all day, and he's in banging+ringing like a maniac mode, answer the door in a clear state of distress. Bit of prep required like, back comb your hair, mascara all down your face, work yourself up into a proper crying + shaking mess, then answer the door with "you've got to STOP this! Look at what you're DOING to me! You're really scaring me and I don't know if I can TAKE it any more!!" Lots of sobbing and shaking and wiping of nose on palm of hand. "I'm sorry, I can't HELP where people park but you're driving me CRAZY with all this and YOU HAVE TO STOP!!" Sob sob shakey shakey.

    Like that. I've done this before and it worked an absolute treat.

    Then close the door on him, have a stiff drink, and lament how we've put feminism back 20 years.
    Originally posted by YoungBlueEyes

    So you've got a chap whose a bully, now going into harassment mode, and you think doing a silly girly woe is me routine is likely to stop him? More likely to get him to ramp it up because he can see the effect he thinks he's having.
    I can't think of any situation where a) I'd ever want to do the hysterical woman act or b) where it would make any postitive impact whatsoever.
    It's less taking feminism back 20 years and more reverting right back to the melodrama of the silent film era. Ridiculous.
    All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

    Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.
    • YoungBlueEyes
    • By YoungBlueEyes 14th Apr 18, 8:12 PM
    • 309 Posts
    • 324 Thanks
    YoungBlueEyes
    It is a suggestion, something that OP could do. I offer it as an idea because it worked for me in the past.
    Ideally it would not have got to this stage - ideally the police would have done something, but they didn't. Hence my (last resort) suggestion.
    • Tygermoth
    • By Tygermoth 15th Apr 18, 12:00 PM
    • 1,358 Posts
    • 2,765 Thanks
    Tygermoth
    So meeting was yesterday. Sadly my car broke down so i missed it being sat in a layby/service station miles away for hours waiting to be put on the back of a lorry and taken to the garage.

    i was told it was a nice meeting, sun was out and a impromptu bbq was started so everyine was chilled and lots of stuff got sorted out......right up to the point lane dude turned up (very late) He basically threw about accusations that the mews were deliberately hounding him and parking in the lane. Everyone pointed out thats not the cse but he refused to be swayed.

    Discussions regarding the entrance and posts/signage was brought up but he told everyone he shouldn't have to pay out or be inconvenienced putting up or taking down posts or cones - for everyone else being munts so refuses to put his hand in his pocket.

    Someone pointed out he would be paying for peace of mind and to stop having to deal with the issue. He just said his plan is to harass everyone one on the street/council/management company till we or someone get so effed off with him they will pay to solve the issue - put down yellow lines, pay for posts, gate or open the old lane entrance and close off ours making it less appealing to be parked in. note: the council have said no to this request several times due to where the lane exits.

    Then one of the guys said that type of aggressive action can be a two way street pal and said he had checked the land registry for the lane.

    It was pointed out that he gained some of the land by just appropriating it when the area was in decline and he doesn't actually own all of it (there was a small set of allotments to the side but they fell into disrepair and disuse and he kind of just appropriated them by putting a fence up) it was suggested that we apply to the coouncil make it parking as we all have a easement (i think that's the right term im not sure or a right of way.... something like that) as the allotments were for the use of the mews and local houses.

    apparently this caused the meeting mood to turn really ugly and as he started swearing - people who had brought their children left - so it kind of just disintegrated.
    Last edited by Tygermoth; 15-04-2018 at 12:28 PM. Reason: cognitive issues really bad today - apologise for errors in text
    Please note I have a cognitive disability - as such my wording can be a bit off, muddled, misspelt or in some cases i can miss out some words totally...
    • happyandcontented
    • By happyandcontented 15th Apr 18, 12:46 PM
    • 1,253 Posts
    • 2,390 Thanks
    happyandcontented
    His behaviour seems to have opened a can of worms! Could it be Karma!
    • bouicca21
    • By bouicca21 15th Apr 18, 12:50 PM
    • 3,815 Posts
    • 5,873 Thanks
    bouicca21
    Oh dear. I was hoping for a happier outcome. But at least everyone else knows just what the score is.
    • Tygermoth
    • By Tygermoth 26th Apr 18, 8:53 PM
    • 1,358 Posts
    • 2,765 Thanks
    Tygermoth
    Having this tread linked back to another it reminded me to post a quick update. I've not had a peep from lane guy. Not even when cars have parked in the lane. Nada.

    Sadly that maybe because the gent that did the land registry search is now in lane dudes sights....... The gent has had a sudden and unexpected fence fire, some paint thrown at his door and a dent appear on his car.
    Please note I have a cognitive disability - as such my wording can be a bit off, muddled, misspelt or in some cases i can miss out some words totally...
    • cjdavies
    • By cjdavies 26th Apr 18, 9:03 PM
    • 3,460 Posts
    • 3,701 Thanks
    cjdavies
    Having this tread linked back to another it reminded me to post a quick update. I've not had a peep from lane guy. Not even when cars have parked in the lane. Nada.

    Sadly that maybe because the gent that did the land registry search is now in lane dudes sights....... The gent has had a sudden and unexpected fence fire, some paint thrown at his door and a dent appear on his car.
    Originally posted by Tygermoth
    Lane dude is a right !!!!ing !!!!!!!!

    I hope the gent has CCTV very soon.
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