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  • FIRST POST
    • Pdbaggett
    • By Pdbaggett 12th Mar 18, 3:12 PM
    • 89Posts
    • 66Thanks
    Pdbaggett
    Friend splitting costs with partner
    • #1
    • 12th Mar 18, 3:12 PM
    Friend splitting costs with partner 12th Mar 18 at 3:12 PM
    Hi, before I start I'll say this really has nothing to do with me and I'm not actually going to do anything with peoples opinions or talk about it with my friend as he's pretty hard headed at the best of times.

    However, I'm genuinely interested in how people see this situation.

    So... My friend purchased a house last year his partner was going to live with him from the start and she still does . He provided all of the deposit the entire amount and she added nothing as she had no savings. Because of this he made her sign a legal document to say if they break up he owns all the house ect( whether this would stand up in court is besides the point) anyway he was always adamant its his house and she doesn't pay anything towards it to not complicate things in a legal sense I.e the mortgage.

    He did however, agree at the time to take 200 a month from her to cover other bills and he still does. Not the problem being I spoke to him the other day and he's struggling with money as most new home owners do due to outlay and maintenance costs his house also needs a new roof ect. His partner isn't helping at all with the cost of the house I.e roof ect and in my opinion isn't even covering her own living with 200 a month. He buys all the food and everything she pays 200 to him and that's it.

    Do people think this is fair, neither are high earners he gets about 600 more a month in that region than her and she will be on about 1200 give or take. Essentially meaning he has no spare money pays for everything and she has over 1000 disposable income a month.

    At the start when he wouldn't add her to the mortgage I thought it was quite mean as they had been together for a few years but at this point I think she's just taking advantage a bit and could definetly offer to help more regardless of a stake in the mortgage or not.
Page 1
    • thorsoak
    • By thorsoak 12th Mar 18, 3:16 PM
    • 5,662 Posts
    • 25,923 Thanks
    thorsoak
    • #2
    • 12th Mar 18, 3:16 PM
    • #2
    • 12th Mar 18, 3:16 PM
    Surely it is none of your business?
    • gettingtheresometime
    • By gettingtheresometime 12th Mar 18, 3:29 PM
    • 3,599 Posts
    • 8,952 Thanks
    gettingtheresometime
    • #3
    • 12th Mar 18, 3:29 PM
    • #3
    • 12th Mar 18, 3:29 PM
    He can't have it both ways.


    Either he accepts that she pays towards the mortgage/maintenance costs and that she may have a case for claiming some of the house or he sucks it up and accepts that he has bigger outgoings in terms of mortgage/maintenance costs & as a result has less spendable cash.


    Bills are a different matter though. Was this 200 plucked out of the air or was the bills calculated in some way. It does sound as if 200 is an extremely good deal for her, especially if that includes food (he hasn't got a spare room I could have does he?).


    Perhaps they need to have a talk about the split of bills before it becomes a source of resentment or in the very least he needs to visit mse for some tips to reduce his bills!
    Lloyds OD / Natwest OD / PO CC / Wescott / Argos Card cleared thanks to the 1 debt v 100 day challenge


    Next on the list - JD Williams
    • Pdbaggett
    • By Pdbaggett 12th Mar 18, 3:36 PM
    • 89 Posts
    • 66 Thanks
    Pdbaggett
    • #4
    • 12th Mar 18, 3:36 PM
    • #4
    • 12th Mar 18, 3:36 PM
    Surely it is none of your business?
    Originally posted by thorsoak
    Yes I'm aware. Considering i literally said that in the opening sentence

    • Pdbaggett
    • By Pdbaggett 12th Mar 18, 3:40 PM
    • 89 Posts
    • 66 Thanks
    Pdbaggett
    • #5
    • 12th Mar 18, 3:40 PM
    • #5
    • 12th Mar 18, 3:40 PM
    He can't have it both ways.


    Either he accepts that she pays towards the mortgage/maintenance costs and that she may have a case for claiming some of the house or he sucks it up and accepts that he has bigger outgoings in terms of mortgage/maintenance costs & as a result has less spendable cash.


    Bills are a different matter though. Was this 200 plucked out of the air or was the bills calculated in some way. It does sound as if 200 is an extremely good deal for her, especially if that includes food (he hasn't got a spare room I could have does he?).


    Perhaps they need to have a talk about the split of bills before it becomes a source of resentment or in the very least he needs to visit mse for some tips to reduce his bills!
    Originally posted by gettingtheresometime
    Totally agree on that one and I told him at the time not adding her to the mortgage is asking for trouble. I just think 50 a week for all of your bills and food is a ridiculously good deal regardless of a claim to the equity in the house or not.
    • gettingtheresometime
    • By gettingtheresometime 12th Mar 18, 3:59 PM
    • 3,599 Posts
    • 8,952 Thanks
    gettingtheresometime
    • #6
    • 12th Mar 18, 3:59 PM
    • #6
    • 12th Mar 18, 3:59 PM
    Totally agree on that one and I told him at the time not adding her to the mortgage is asking for trouble. I just think 50 a week for all of your bills and food is a ridiculously good deal regardless of a claim to the equity in the house or not.
    Originally posted by Pdbaggett
    I can see his logic on that one but like you I think 50 is an amazing deal.
    Lloyds OD / Natwest OD / PO CC / Wescott / Argos Card cleared thanks to the 1 debt v 100 day challenge


    Next on the list - JD Williams
    • Comms69
    • By Comms69 12th Mar 18, 4:10 PM
    • 2,970 Posts
    • 2,938 Thanks
    Comms69
    • #7
    • 12th Mar 18, 4:10 PM
    • #7
    • 12th Mar 18, 4:10 PM
    Totally agree on that one and I told him at the time not adding her to the mortgage is asking for trouble. I just think 50 a week for all of your bills and food is a ridiculously good deal regardless of a claim to the equity in the house or not.
    Originally posted by Pdbaggett
    Well 400 for bills etc is about right for a household of two.


    Its the food element that needs to be addressed.
    • PrettyKittyKat
    • By PrettyKittyKat 12th Mar 18, 4:11 PM
    • 381 Posts
    • 400 Thanks
    PrettyKittyKat
    • #8
    • 12th Mar 18, 4:11 PM
    • #8
    • 12th Mar 18, 4:11 PM
    to be honest I wouldn't want to be his partner! I'd hate to be treated like a lodger by my partner. It is different if he already owned the house and she moved in, however they bought the house when they were already together. Personally this would ring alarm bells in regards to my partners commitment to the relationship and expected longevity of it! She's not taking advantage of him, she's just doing what he asked, as you say he is quite hard headed.
    • Robisere
    • By Robisere 12th Mar 18, 4:16 PM
    • 2,240 Posts
    • 3,053 Thanks
    Robisere
    • #9
    • 12th Mar 18, 4:16 PM
    • #9
    • 12th Mar 18, 4:16 PM
    The "legal document" your friend had his partner sign, has no actual legal standing. It is her address and has been for however long she has lived there, therefore she is, in law, legally domiciled there. They have been cohabiting at that address for the same period. However much or little that she contributes, has no bearing upon the situation.

    How long has your friend owned the house and paid the mortgage? I suspect that the roof and other repair/maintenance issues, could have been spotted by paying for a good Survey at the time of buying the property. That is a mistake many people make.

    Btw, if you mean to say "etcetera" the abreviation is "etc" and not "ect".
    I think this job really needs
    a much bigger hammer.
    • Comms69
    • By Comms69 12th Mar 18, 4:17 PM
    • 2,970 Posts
    • 2,938 Thanks
    Comms69
    The "legal document" your friend had his partner sign, has no actual legal standing. It is her address and has been for however long she has lived there, therefore she is, in law, legally domiciled there. They have been cohabiting at that address for the same period. However much or little that she contributes, has no bearing upon the situation.

    How long has your friend owned the house and paid the mortgage? I suspect that the roof and other repair/maintenance issues, could have been spotted by paying for a good Survey at the time of buying the property. That is a mistake many people make.

    Btw, if you mean to say "etcetera" the abreviation is "etc" and not "ect".
    Originally posted by Robisere

    But being legally domiciled somewhere has no legal protection...
    • Pollycat
    • By Pollycat 12th Mar 18, 4:20 PM
    • 20,022 Posts
    • 53,746 Thanks
    Pollycat
    Hi, before I start I'll say this really has nothing to do with me and I'm not actually going to do anything with peoples opinions or talk about it with my friend as he's pretty hard headed at the best of times.

    However, I'm genuinely interested in how people see this situation.

    So... My friend purchased a house last year his partner was going to live with him from the start and she still does . He provided all of the deposit the entire amount and she added nothing as she had no savings. Because of this he made her sign a legal document to say if they break up he owns all the house ect( whether this would stand up in court is besides the point) anyway he was always adamant its his house and she doesn't pay anything towards it to not complicate things in a legal sense I.e the mortgage.

    He did however, agree at the time to take 200 a month from her to cover other bills and he still does. Not the problem being I spoke to him the other day and he's struggling with money as most new home owners do due to outlay and maintenance costs his house also needs a new roof ect. His partner isn't helping at all with the cost of the house I.e roof ect and in my opinion isn't even covering her own living with 200 a month. He buys all the food and everything she pays 200 to him and that's it.

    Do people think this is fair, neither are high earners he gets about 600 more a month in that region than her and she will be on about 1200 give or take. Essentially meaning he has no spare money pays for everything and she has over 1000 disposable income a month.

    At the start when he wouldn't add her to the mortgage I thought it was quite mean as they had been together for a few years but at this point I think she's just taking advantage a bit and could definetly offer to help more regardless of a stake in the mortgage or not.
    Originally posted by Pdbaggett
    It doesn't matter whether you or any posters think it's fair or not fair.

    He set the 200 per month.
    He doesn't want his partner to have any stake in the house.
    He's (presumably) not complaining about the situation.
    You're not going to do anything about the situation.

    It sounds like a MMD with more information than usual thrown in.
    • cjdavies
    • By cjdavies 12th Mar 18, 4:41 PM
    • 3,295 Posts
    • 3,509 Thanks
    cjdavies
    50/50 split on bills = 200, seems to be about right and sounds fair.
    Last edited by cjdavies; 12-03-2018 at 4:44 PM.
    • gettingtheresometime
    • By gettingtheresometime 12th Mar 18, 4:46 PM
    • 3,599 Posts
    • 8,952 Thanks
    gettingtheresometime
    Just had a thought - is this going to be a future MMD?
    Lloyds OD / Natwest OD / PO CC / Wescott / Argos Card cleared thanks to the 1 debt v 100 day challenge


    Next on the list - JD Williams
    • Pollycat
    • By Pollycat 12th Mar 18, 4:58 PM
    • 20,022 Posts
    • 53,746 Thanks
    Pollycat
    Just had a thought - is this going to be a future MMD?
    Originally posted by gettingtheresometime
    Maybe...
    It sounds like a MMD with more information than usual thrown in.
    Originally posted by Pollycat
    • eschaton
    • By eschaton 12th Mar 18, 5:13 PM
    • 1,756 Posts
    • 1,528 Thanks
    eschaton
    She has won a watch!
    • belfastgirl23
    • By belfastgirl23 12th Mar 18, 5:27 PM
    • 7,692 Posts
    • 15,472 Thanks
    belfastgirl23
    I reckon he needs to add up the (non mortgage) bills and divide in half. I know some people might think that 400 a month would do it but , for us it's more like double that (rates+gas+electric+insurance+tv/phone internet+food).

    • Pdbaggett
    • By Pdbaggett 12th Mar 18, 5:34 PM
    • 89 Posts
    • 66 Thanks
    Pdbaggett
    The "legal document" your friend had his partner sign, has no actual legal standing. It is her address and has been for however long she has lived there, therefore she is, in law, legally domiciled there. They have been cohabiting at that address for the same period. However much or little that she contributes, has no bearing upon the situation.

    How long has your friend owned the house and paid the mortgage? I suspect that the roof and other repair/maintenance issues, could have been spotted by paying for a good Survey at the time of buying the property. That is a mistake many people make.

    Btw, if you mean to say "etcetera" the abreviation is "etc" and not "ect".
    Originally posted by Robisere
    I think it was blatantly obvious I'm aware of the legal standing of what he made her sign from my post already......
    • Pdbaggett
    • By Pdbaggett 12th Mar 18, 5:36 PM
    • 89 Posts
    • 66 Thanks
    Pdbaggett
    I reckon he needs to add up the (non mortgage) bills and divide in half. I know some people might think that 400 a month would do it but , for us it's more like double that (rates+gas+electric+insurance+tv/phone internet+food).
    Originally posted by belfastgirl23
    Agreed 100 a week certainly would not cover my bills including food shopping.
    • onomatopoeia99
    • By onomatopoeia99 12th Mar 18, 5:43 PM
    • 4,180 Posts
    • 9,389 Thanks
    onomatopoeia99
    The "legal document" your friend had his partner sign, has no actual legal standing.
    Originally posted by Robisere
    Though it could serve as clear evidence that both parties understood from the outset there was no intent to create a beneficial interest for her in the property.
    INTP, nerd, libertarian and scifi geek.
    Home is where my books are.
    • Pdbaggett
    • By Pdbaggett 12th Mar 18, 5:44 PM
    • 89 Posts
    • 66 Thanks
    Pdbaggett
    It doesn't matter whether you or any posters think it's fair or not fair.

    He set the 200 per month.
    He doesn't want his partner to have any stake in the house.
    He's (presumably) not complaining about the situation.
    You're not going to do anything about the situation.

    It sounds like a MMD with more information than usual thrown in.
    Originally posted by Pollycat
    Yes, shocking isn't it someone taking an interest in someone else's life whilst not really envisaging doing anything about it. Its almost like we don't have newspapers doing the exact thing or reality TV or shock horror people having a gossip about other people who are not immediately them selves
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