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  • FIRST POST
    • PositivelyPerturbed
    • By PositivelyPerturbed 10th Mar 18, 7:47 PM
    • 26Posts
    • 36Thanks
    PositivelyPerturbed
    Miserable first time buyer with buyers remorse
    • #1
    • 10th Mar 18, 7:47 PM
    Miserable first time buyer with buyers remorse 10th Mar 18 at 7:47 PM
    Spent all afternoon making myself ill and crying which is totally counter productive so figured I'd come onto here for some guidance and proactive words instead.
    My husband and I scrimped and saved to buy our first house. We had no help from anyone and we have rented and lived in many hovels and dumps over the years. We moved to a much cheaper area and bought a fixed upper. We got it for a decent price and viewed it twice. It backs onto the A470 motorway in Wales. We have lived in busy city centres and by main roads before so we are not hypersensitive to noise. We have lived here for a week and had double glazing installed before we moved in. However, I am finding it insufferable and miserable living here as we failed to hear or notice the damn cattle grid that is about 30ft from the back of our house and making a heck of a racquet day and night :-( I feel ill just being here. I am already looking at secondary glazing as a matter of urgency and my husband is going to cement all around the new windows internally tomorrow instead of the expanding foam. I feel like we have made the most expensive mistake of our lives though.
Page 2
    • Owain Moneysaver
    • By Owain Moneysaver 10th Mar 18, 11:25 PM
    • 8,079 Posts
    • 8,934 Thanks
    Owain Moneysaver
    There may be options of treating the noise at source, such as reinstalling the grid with rubber pads between the grid rungs and the base, or putting a speed restriction in place (noise increases with vehicle speed). Another possibility is an acoustic barrier between the grid and your house.

    If this is a council grid (eg if the road is passing into a common with free-roaming livestock) then the council may, if the grid noise is deemed to be a noise nuisance, pay for glazing upgrades or acoustic barrier, eg. (Powys Council).

    Especially at night, some masking noise from a noise generator may help sleeping.
    A kind word lasts a minute, a skelped erse is sair for a day.
    • Beardmidget
    • By Beardmidget 10th Mar 18, 11:45 PM
    • 149 Posts
    • 109 Thanks
    Beardmidget
    As one who spends months at a time working in a very noisy working environment (neonatal intensive care- alarms +++ which the nurses look after and they pull a different bell when they need me!), I can tell you that at first you think you’re going to live with noise 24/7- I bet you can hear that cattle grid even when you’re not at home- but every time I come to the end of a 6 month stint on the job I genuinely don’t notice it.

    You’ll get used to it. It sounds like you’ve earned your home the hard way and I’d hate to think of you losing thousands selling straight away- if I was a buyer it’d spook me buying so soon after you if you weren’t just a do up and flip developer.
    • anonmum
    • By anonmum 11th Mar 18, 12:09 AM
    • 57 Posts
    • 86 Thanks
    anonmum
    Give it time...
    Hi,

    Sorry to hear you are not happy in your new home...buying a house is such a stressful thing to do in itself, all the money for starters, but from making an offer you spend most of the next two or three months in a very busy, busy, busy heightened state of stress - will they accept/am I paying too much/have I got to have a survey? which survey? How bad is the survey going to be?/ will I get a mortgage? / which bank? what type?/ which solicitor? / will the chain collapse? etc etc - then add in a few hold ups and problems and it is quite a heady mix of adrenalin to be running on - so it is little surprise that when you finally complete on the sale and the adrenalin busy-ness abates that you are then hit by waves of 'oh my god, what have I bought?' housebuyer remorse. (Made worse by possibly living in a bit of a mess, can't find anything, nothing you own where it should be, house seemingly always full of builders/plumbers/electricians/carpet fitters... etc!) AND then add noise issues you hadn't heard before on top.... would make anyone want to move straight back out and sell up!

    I speak from a position of just having gone through a very similar experience...been in my new home for three months and had I had a choice would have moved out after a week...I had had previous neighbour 'issues' shall we say...mainly regarding noise...so I bought my new home with as much due diligence as was possible - multiple visits at different times etc (four visits actually into the house, at least another six to the street) and was actually so worried I had made a mistake I was still viewing other houses up to two weeks before I exchanged...Anyway I did go through with the purchase and the first night in when I heard next doors phone ringing through the wall, their toilet flushing and them talking (at normal volume) but so clear I could hear every word...I was in floods of tears, convinced I had made a horrible mistake and deciding it wasn't worth even unpacking...

    Then we had a water leak through the ceiling, found woodworm in the attic, had a gas leak, electric tripping if you attempted to run more than two things in a single room (only a problem in the kitchen cos it was the only room that had more than two sockets...), back door wouldn't unlock, the damp the sellers had painted over came back, the wardrobe doors fell off (sliding and heavy) etc etc... (The film The Money Pit came to mind...)

    But time passed, life went on, we sorted some of the major problems, I unpacked a few bits and bobs, not much yet but enough so there was a few familiar bits around (but the a majority is still unpacked I would add...lol), I calmed down a bit and stopped acting as my daughter described it as a 'meercat on alert' at every noise...and a few weeks ago I actually realised I was really quite fond of our silly little house now...it actually felt like home. And when I heard next doors phone (and him answering) rather than being annoyed I thought - that's good, he has friends/family that care for him - instead. (He is in his seventies so I will admit to also secretly thinking 'oh good he is still alive...' lol)

    Yeah, house is not perfect and my credit card bill is testimony as to how imperfect it truly was/is (my builder is probably the person I have spoken most to in the last few weeks!)...but my mindset has changed so much about the house in just a couple of months that had I just walked away that would have been a big mistake.

    You may not feel the same after some time has passed, but I would definitely recommend giving your new home and yourself some time before you make any major decisions about re-selling/renting it out.

    Apologies for the mahoosive message - I think it was a little bit of a cathartic outpouring for me to be honest - I appreciate I have just said - "Give it time" - in the longest possible way!... but just please know you are not alone in your feelings!

    Good luck and kind wishes,

    Helen x
    • gettingtheresometime
    • By gettingtheresometime 11th Mar 18, 12:30 AM
    • 3,612 Posts
    • 8,993 Thanks
    gettingtheresometime
    Spent all afternoon making myself ill and crying which is totally counter productive so figured I'd come onto here for some guidance and proactive words instead.
    My husband and I scrimped and saved to buy our first house. We had no help from anyone and we have rented and lived in many hovels and dumps over the years. We moved to a much cheaper area and bought a fixed upper. We got it for a decent price and viewed it twice. It backs onto the A470 motorway in Wales. We have lived in busy city centres and by main roads before so we are not hypersensitive to noise. We have lived here for a week and had double glazing installed before we moved in. However, I am finding it insufferable and miserable living here as we failed to hear or notice the damn cattle grid that is about 30ft from the back of our house and making a heck of a racquet day and night :-( I feel ill just being here. I am already looking at secondary glazing as a matter of urgency and my husband is going to cement all around the new windows internally tomorrow instead of the expanding foam. I feel like we have made the most expensive mistake of our lives though.
    Originally posted by PositivelyPerturbed
    Living not far from a section of the A470 I'm wondering if you're anywhere near lol.

    I think, as others have said noises that you aren't used to come as an initial major shock; we live in a cul de sac so no passing traffic. Our son bought a house on a road with passing traffic and he said that was one thing he really noticed!
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    • Davesnave
    • By Davesnave 11th Mar 18, 5:45 AM
    • 25,072 Posts
    • 92,633 Thanks
    Davesnave
    Nobody knows if you will get used to the noise, but I think it's more likely you will, as it's from an inanimate source, rather than from a person or persons acting in a wilfully thoughtless way. In other words, the anger towards others that people feel in a needlessly noisy neighbour scenario shouldn't be present.

    You might be angry with yourself right now, though. It's very easy to beat oneself up over a perceived mistake, but eventually that should pass. I doubt if there's an older person on this board that hasn't made a negatively life-changing decision at some time, then replayed the scenario, again and again in their head. It's upsetting, but it seems to be part of a coping mechanism, like grieving.

    So, just like the person who has lost a loved one, I'd say don't make any hasty decisions right now, like throwing more money at the issue or becoming an accidental landlord.

    You've a time to spend in this house; it might be a year or it might be much longer, but just treat it as known unknown. Look at the decorative faults the place will have and work on those. Every little improvement you make will enable a faster sale if you decide to go early, and if you don't, then you'll have the benefit of them for longer.
    'It's a terrible thing to wait until you're ready…..Generally speaking, now is as good a time as any.' Hugh Lawrie.
    • Murphybear
    • By Murphybear 11th Mar 18, 6:16 AM
    • 3,586 Posts
    • 7,358 Thanks
    Murphybear
    Hi,

    Sorry to hear you are not happy in your new home...buying a house is such a stressful thing to do in itself, all the money for starters, but from making an offer you spend most of the next two or three months in a very busy, busy, busy heightened state of stress - will they accept/am I paying too much/have I got to have a survey? which survey? How bad is the survey going to be?/ will I get a mortgage? / which bank? what type?/ which solicitor? / will the chain collapse? etc etc - then add in a few hold ups and problems and it is quite a heady mix of adrenalin to be running on - so it is little surprise that when you finally complete on the sale and the adrenalin busy-ness abates that you are then hit by waves of 'oh my god, what have I bought?' housebuyer remorse. (Made worse by possibly living in a bit of a mess, can't find anything, nothing you own where it should be, house seemingly always full of builders/plumbers/electricians/carpet fitters... etc!) AND then add noise issues you hadn't heard before on top.... would make anyone want to move straight back out and sell up!

    I speak from a position of just having gone through a very similar experience...been in my new home for three months and had I had a choice would have moved out after a week...I had had previous neighbour 'issues' shall we say...mainly regarding noise...so I bought my new home with as much due diligence as was possible - multiple visits at different times etc (four visits actually into the house, at least another six to the street) and was actually so worried I had made a mistake I was still viewing other houses up to two weeks before I exchanged...Anyway I did go through with the purchase and the first night in when I heard next doors phone ringing through the wall, their toilet flushing and them talking (at normal volume) but so clear I could hear every word...I was in floods of tears, convinced I had made a horrible mistake and deciding it wasn't worth even unpacking...

    Then we had a water leak through the ceiling, found woodworm in the attic, had a gas leak, electric tripping if you attempted to run more than two things in a single room (only a problem in the kitchen cos it was the only room that had more than two sockets...), back door wouldn't unlock, the damp the sellers had painted over came back, the wardrobe doors fell off (sliding and heavy) etc etc... (The film The Money Pit came to mind...)

    But time passed, life went on, we sorted some of the major problems, I unpacked a few bits and bobs, not much yet but enough so there was a few familiar bits around (but the a majority is still unpacked I would add...lol), I calmed down a bit and stopped acting as my daughter described it as a 'meercat on alert' at every noise...and a few weeks ago I actually realised I was really quite fond of our silly little house now...it actually felt like home. And when I heard next doors phone (and him answering) rather than being annoyed I thought - that's good, he has friends/family that care for him - instead. (He is in his seventies so I will admit to also secretly thinking 'oh good he is still alive...' lol)

    Yeah, house is not perfect and my credit card bill is testimony as to how imperfect it truly was/is (my builder is probably the person I have spoken most to in the last few weeks!)...but my mindset has changed so much about the house in just a couple of months that had I just walked away that would have been a big mistake.

    You may not feel the same after some time has passed, but I would definitely recommend giving your new home and yourself some time before you make any major decisions about re-selling/renting it out.

    Apologies for the mahoosive message - I think it was a little bit of a cathartic outpouring for me to be honest - I appreciate I have just said - "Give it time" - in the longest possible way!... but just please know you are not alone in your feelings!

    Good luck and kind wishes,

    Helen x
    Originally posted by anonmum
    I love the word “mahoosive”

    We moved to a house on a farm 6 months ago. There were a few sheep and cows in fields far enough away so you didn’t hear them. However the farmers built a massive barn a few yards away and the animals were moved in at the start of the cold. Cows moo 24 hours a day bless their little cotton hooves. Doesn’t really bother me, I like cows. Especially when their products are turned into cheese or they end up as a nice juicy steak
    • tori.k
    • By tori.k 11th Mar 18, 7:28 AM
    • 3,179 Posts
    • 7,989 Thanks
    tori.k
    I'm another that says give it a little time, we used to live on the coast when we move inland i couldn't settle for weeks took a while to work out that it was the lack of the ambient noise of the ocean that i had long stopped noticing.
    The same happens here each year during lambing the first night is disturbed then it just fades into the background noise.
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    • glasgowdan
    • By glasgowdan 11th Mar 18, 7:33 AM
    • 2,886 Posts
    • 3,234 Thanks
    glasgowdan
    I think if i were you I'd do it up and sell it on... buyers will be content thinking you're a developer and hopefully you'll come out of it with a little profit.

    And next time make sure you spend hours sitting in the car or walking around near the property, at various times day and night!
    • Goath
    • By Goath 11th Mar 18, 7:36 AM
    • 48 Posts
    • 22 Thanks
    Goath
    Hi
    We live bang next to the East coast mainline, and every 10 min you can hear but not see 125's & class 91's speed past.. the noise is very noticble then at night the freight trains rumble past making our house creak in the bedroom (I kid you not)

    At first I was worried but now I barely hear them (in the house) and when I do I find it strangely comforting.

    But health is more important than money... keep it for a year and then sell it on even if you lose a little your health is more important.
    Last edited by Goath; 11-03-2018 at 7:40 AM.
    • Norman Castle
    • By Norman Castle 11th Mar 18, 7:48 AM
    • 6,966 Posts
    • 5,731 Thanks
    Norman Castle
    As others have said try reducing the noise at the source. Stand next to it when cars are crossing to see exactly what is making the noise. A loose grid rattling against concrete can be very noisy but easy to quieten.
    Don't harass a hippie. You'll get bad karma.

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    • RedFraggle
    • By RedFraggle 11th Mar 18, 8:30 AM
    • 660 Posts
    • 1,787 Thanks
    RedFraggle
    If sleep is a problem try having a portable fan on in the bedroom. The constant noise will override intermittent noise.
    Officially in a clique of idiots
    • PasturesNew
    • By PasturesNew 11th Mar 18, 8:34 AM
    • 62,523 Posts
    • 366,261 Thanks
    PasturesNew
    Most people "regret" a house purchase, it seems overwhelming once you get in .... then everybody spots the things they didn't spot and "hates" it ....

    At least yours is "just a cattle grid" which is an inanimate object that doesn't move as such .... feral neighbours are worse as they are unpredictable and move all over the area, your garden/fence, the road .... you never know what they'll be getting up to, when or where!

    Yes it's annoying....but you can re-engineer the house to change that - and, over time, you'll get used to it .... you can't re-engineer bad neighbours or get used to them.

    Enjoy your new house.
    • PositivelyPerturbed
    • By PositivelyPerturbed 11th Mar 18, 8:53 AM
    • 26 Posts
    • 36 Thanks
    PositivelyPerturbed
    I wish I could record the sound and post it on here. The noise is continual from 6am through to around 9pm, and it's a unique, and very loud clunking noise. I am already looking into defra rules and directives to see if I can write to my local council about it. Oddly, houses on this street do sell pretty quickly, and I could probably sell for a profit as we have already ripped out all the Woodchip wallpaper, polystyrene ceiling tiles and old fashioned carpets (as well as installing the double glazing). We took out a 15 year mortgage, but are hoping to clear it in 8. Our only child will then have finished his schooling and be (hopefully) in his first year of university. We actually thought the location was excellent when we first looked at it - it has a major bus station 5 mins away and a train station 10mins away. It also has immediate access to the dual carriageway and lots of shops (even a Sainsbury's supermarket) a short stroll. We also did our research and discovered massive development going on that will be finished next year and bring over 1000 jobs to the area which, we figured, would increase the resale and rental value of the property.
    I think it's a feeling of helplessness that makes me feel down. Our new oven arrives today, but we have lived without one for 2 months, so I have gained weight and neglected my running and swimming regime. My son is a pre-teen hormonal sod and my puppy is running me ragged. My house is a building site (we've taken down some old lath and plaster ceilings and walls by ourselves) and the joyous feeling of being free from the shackles of the rental market has truly escaped me.
    • lookstraightahead
    • By lookstraightahead 11th Mar 18, 9:18 AM
    • 161 Posts
    • 169 Thanks
    lookstraightahead
    Noise so affects people differently. I!!!8217;ve always lived on quite main roads but now as I approach midlife can!!!8217;t stand car noises. However I love train noise and use it to get to sleep to! My daughter loves car noise, my husband finds a ticking clock depressing. See how you get on for while x
    • Mickygg
    • By Mickygg 11th Mar 18, 9:30 AM
    • 1,421 Posts
    • 1,167 Thanks
    Mickygg
    OP when you are feeling generally run down issues are exasperated! I speak from experience.
    • lookstraightahead
    • By lookstraightahead 11th Mar 18, 9:41 AM
    • 161 Posts
    • 169 Thanks
    lookstraightahead
    Op - I get cross with the cars using the road. Do not let it make you poorly
    • Norman Castle
    • By Norman Castle 11th Mar 18, 9:55 AM
    • 6,966 Posts
    • 5,731 Thanks
    Norman Castle
    The noise is continual from 6am through to around 9pm, and it's a unique, and very loud clunking noise. I am already looking into defra rules and directives to see if I can write to my local council about it.
    Originally posted by PositivelyPerturbed
    If you google cattle grid noise its a common complaint. Ask your neighbours about it. They might also be keen to reduce the noise.
    Don't harass a hippie. You'll get bad karma.

    Never trust a newbie with a rtb tale.
    • anonmum
    • By anonmum 11th Mar 18, 10:48 AM
    • 57 Posts
    • 86 Thanks
    anonmum
    Moohoosive noise?
    I love the word “mahoosive”

    We moved to a house on a farm 6 months ago. There were a few sheep and cows in fields far enough away so you didn’t hear them. However the farmers built a massive barn a few yards away and the animals were moved in at the start of the cold. Cows moo 24 hours a day bless their little cotton hooves. Doesn’t really bother me, I like cows. Especially when their products are turned into cheese or they end up as a nice juicy steak
    Originally posted by Murphybear


    I imagine that cows could make a 'moohoosive' noise? lol

    helen x
    • StumpyPumpy
    • By StumpyPumpy 11th Mar 18, 11:56 AM
    • 1,251 Posts
    • 3,362 Thanks
    StumpyPumpy
    I am already looking into defra rules and directives to see if I can write to my local council about it.
    Originally posted by PositivelyPerturbed
    I wouldn't bother checking with the rules and regs, I'd just write to the planning department asking about it. Be polite and state your problem in simple terms, let them decide whether you "should" be writing or not.

    The quicker you get the ball rolling, the quicker you will find out what can be done. Most people working at a council are human and do want to help with issues especially ones dealing with quality of life, even if it is not strictly within their remit. If they do come back with a "nothing to do with us" reply then you can start digging out the appropriate rules to start quoting back at them.

    SP
    Come on people, it's not difficult: lose means to be unable to find, loose means not being fixed in place. So if you have a hole in your pocket you might lose your loose change.
    • Gwendo40
    • By Gwendo40 11th Mar 18, 12:29 PM
    • 106 Posts
    • 101 Thanks
    Gwendo40
    I'd definitely complain to whoever is responsible for the cattle grid, some of them can be incredibly noisy when driven over, whilst others are practically silent, so it can be rectified even if it means whoever is responsible for it has to replace/reinstall it.

    People are quick enough to complain about loose manhole covers or drains making a loud clanging noise every time they're driven over, this is no different.
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