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  • FIRST POST
    • rocketrob5
    • By rocketrob5 5th Mar 18, 9:20 AM
    • 16Posts
    • 7Thanks
    rocketrob5
    Kids and cyber bullying
    • #1
    • 5th Mar 18, 9:20 AM
    Kids and cyber bullying 5th Mar 18 at 9:20 AM
    This is a query about schools response to bullying really.

    Our daughter (14) found out that a couple of other kids had signed her up to a number of American onlie dating websites . They are by no means friends, and they have claimed it was a "joke". Initially the school took it seriously.

    The other kids have continued with other types of more subtle bullying, despite the school speaking to them. I have also been in and spoken to the school bullying lead.

    I guess the question is how serious is the cyber part - the school mentioned involving police initially, but i wouldn't know in what capacity. Secondly, I intend to keep pushing school to resolve this until it stops, but they seem reluctant to do anything. It is annoying when I am sure a simple letter or phone call to the bullies' parents would likely resolve it.
Page 1
    • hazyjo
    • By hazyjo 5th Mar 18, 10:31 AM
    • 10,526 Posts
    • 13,692 Thanks
    hazyjo
    • #2
    • 5th Mar 18, 10:31 AM
    • #2
    • 5th Mar 18, 10:31 AM
    Are you sure the school has told you all the action they've already taken? Have their parents not been told at all? Even by letter?
    2018 wins: Single Malt Whisky; theatre tickets; festival tickets; year of gin(!); shoes
    • rocketrob5
    • By rocketrob5 5th Mar 18, 12:18 PM
    • 16 Posts
    • 7 Thanks
    rocketrob5
    • #3
    • 5th Mar 18, 12:18 PM
    • #3
    • 5th Mar 18, 12:18 PM
    They said they had not contacted their parents. They seem to try and want to play it down. Part of the problem is that they ask the 2 girls and they just lie as well.
    • meer53
    • By meer53 5th Mar 18, 1:02 PM
    • 9,152 Posts
    • 13,289 Thanks
    meer53
    • #4
    • 5th Mar 18, 1:02 PM
    • #4
    • 5th Mar 18, 1:02 PM
    Schools can only really deal with bullying which takes place in school. I went through this with my daughter, i don't know what you expect school to do ? I had to involve the police in the end to stop it.
    • rocketrob5
    • By rocketrob5 5th Mar 18, 2:22 PM
    • 16 Posts
    • 7 Thanks
    rocketrob5
    • #5
    • 5th Mar 18, 2:22 PM
    • #5
    • 5th Mar 18, 2:22 PM
    They did it at school - they regularly spend lessons "in the toilet" together - virtually the whole lesson (not sure what the teacher does in this time). There is psychological bullying still going on in school which they are not dealing with.
    • thorsoak
    • By thorsoak 5th Mar 18, 4:14 PM
    • 5,662 Posts
    • 25,925 Thanks
    thorsoak
    • #6
    • 5th Mar 18, 4:14 PM
    • #6
    • 5th Mar 18, 4:14 PM
    Write a letter, detailing the original cyber bullying, the on-going bullying, the actions you have taken with the school, and what the school has done about it - if anything, to the head of the school governers - copying in the head teacher.

    This should raise some action.
    • PrettyKittyKat
    • By PrettyKittyKat 5th Mar 18, 5:44 PM
    • 383 Posts
    • 400 Thanks
    PrettyKittyKat
    • #7
    • 5th Mar 18, 5:44 PM
    • #7
    • 5th Mar 18, 5:44 PM
    The school should most certainly have contacted the childrens parents. Presumably your daughter has found these accounts and can evidence they were set up and by these two girls? I would speak to her head of year and request that a meeting take places with the childrens parents. This should be taken very seriously by the school.

    Cyber abuse is a crime now, I think? So you can report it to the police.
    • cjdavies
    • By cjdavies 6th Mar 18, 5:46 AM
    • 3,300 Posts
    • 3,516 Thanks
    cjdavies
    • #8
    • 6th Mar 18, 5:46 AM
    • #8
    • 6th Mar 18, 5:46 AM
    Stuff the school, get the police involved.
    • meer53
    • By meer53 6th Mar 18, 12:31 PM
    • 9,152 Posts
    • 13,289 Thanks
    meer53
    • #9
    • 6th Mar 18, 12:31 PM
    • #9
    • 6th Mar 18, 12:31 PM
    Stuff the school, get the police involved.
    Originally posted by cjdavies
    ^^^ this

    I contacted the police about the cyber bullying, the school cannot do anything about it, they should be dealing with any bullying which takes place in school but cyber bullying is outside their control.

    The Police were great and took action which eventually stopped the bully.
    • marcus ohreallius
    • By marcus ohreallius 6th Mar 18, 12:39 PM
    • 257 Posts
    • 528 Thanks
    marcus ohreallius
    Email police 101 and provide any evidence you have that these two girls were behind the prank. Best nip this in the bud before they do anything else. Last thing you want is for some immature idiot to sign you / your kid up to NAMBLA or worse "just for a laugh". Trouble is, if you pee them off they might retaliate AND get more sneaky about it.
    • rocketrob5
    • By rocketrob5 6th Mar 18, 3:01 PM
    • 16 Posts
    • 7 Thanks
    rocketrob5
    Thanks for the replies.
    So far from school, they have not contacted their parents. For me, if I had a letter about my kids form school, I would make damn sure they stopped whatever they were doing.

    One concern was retaliation, but I think to stop it, action needs taking. I will contact the police. the problem is I don't know what evidence there is that they set up the accounts. They were done using our daughters' email. She found out as they told one of our daughter's friends what they had done. They also admitted it when questioned by school, but I can't see there will be physical evidence.

    At this point, the school have escalated to their Leadership Team to monitor
    • Coddings84
    • By Coddings84 7th Mar 18, 7:12 AM
    • 1 Posts
    • 3 Thanks
    Coddings84
    Advice
    Hi,
    As a Head of Year at a large comprehensive school I deal wih this kind of thing on a regular basis (I'm sad to say but social media can be horrible thing).

    Most of the advice is correct, you should be accumulating all the evidence and passing it to the police. Yes, there may be some come back but it's a bit of a catch 22 situation. If you want it to stop then you have to raise the flag. The police will also certainly contact the parents of the other pupils.

    As for the role of the school here, I'm frankly shocked and disappointed at their max attitude to this considering potential effect his behaviour can have on a young person. I would do the following:
    - pass whatever you pass to the police to the Head Teacher and Local Authority demanding a clear response.
    - ask to see the schools anti-bullying policy. This should include something on cyber-bullying
    - ask what the school has done in the past to warn against and educate around the kind of behaviour and what it plans to do going forward.

    At my school this behaviour would certainly lead to a sanction. I have issued 3 day exclusions in the past for behaviour not dissimilar to this. Yes, it's a social action and the police should be involved but at the end of the day all pupils are part of the same school community and the school has a responsibility to educate and lead by example socially as well as academically. What you have said does not come across well on the school at all.

    Hope that helps, good luck.
    • rocketrob5
    • By rocketrob5 7th Mar 18, 2:30 PM
    • 16 Posts
    • 7 Thanks
    rocketrob5
    Hi,
    As a Head of Year at a large comprehensive school I deal wih this kind of thing on a regular basis (I'm sad to say but social media can be horrible thing).

    Most of the advice is correct, you should be accumulating all the evidence and passing it to the police. Yes, there may be some come back but it's a bit of a catch 22 situation. If you want it to stop then you have to raise the flag. The police will also certainly contact the parents of the other pupils.

    As for the role of the school here, I'm frankly shocked and disappointed at their max attitude to this considering potential effect his behaviour can have on a young person. I would do the following:
    - pass whatever you pass to the police to the Head Teacher and Local Authority demanding a clear response.
    - ask to see the schools anti-bullying policy. This should include something on cyber-bullying
    - ask what the school has done in the past to warn against and educate around the kind of behaviour and what it plans to do going forward.

    At my school this behaviour would certainly lead to a sanction. I have issued 3 day exclusions in the past for behaviour not dissimilar to this. Yes, it's a social action and the police should be involved but at the end of the day all pupils are part of the same school community and the school has a responsibility to educate and lead by example socially as well as academically. What you have said does not come across well on the school at all.

    Hope that helps, good luck.
    Originally posted by Coddings84
    Thanks for your advice. We're going to take to the police and keep on at the school. It is a well respected and good school, who at the open evenings tell parents how they do not tolerate bullying...
    • Zeni
    • By Zeni 7th Mar 18, 7:00 PM
    • 400 Posts
    • 787 Thanks
    Zeni
    Can only reiterate the other comments - definitely get the police involved as creating fake accounts as another person online is a crime. You may not have physical evidence, but if they've confessed they seems plenty enough to get the police on board and make the girls realise what they've done is more than a joke.
    Swagbuckling since Aug 2016 - Earnings so far.. 55.
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