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  • FIRST POST
    • Valli
    • By Valli 4th Mar 18, 6:21 PM
    • 20,428Posts
    • 232,228Thanks
    Valli
    Weekly Flylady Thread 5th March 2018
    • #1
    • 4th Mar 18, 6:21 PM
    Weekly Flylady Thread 5th March 2018 4th Mar 18 at 6:21 PM


    What is FLYLADY? Well, it's our version of the US flylady idea - but we work on the principle that housework is not fun, it's boring, can be time-consuming, is often thankless but, unfortunately, necessary. It's here on Old Style to provide the support we all need and to make the whole task easier and quicker. We also accept that, sometimes, life just gets on top of us and we can't keep up, maybe because we're time-poor, not in the best of health and/or we have littlies who need us. We are definitely NOT control freaks aiming for perfection and utterly spotless show-homes.

    Welcome to the weekly Flylady Thread. You're more than welcome to join us in the everlasting battle against dust, grime and gibble. The aim of our thread is to make those onerous tasks less daunting, and to support each other - and to make time for the finer things in life!


    Please do remember we have to abide by MSE rules; each post should, ideally, include some mention of flying.


    Thank you Natty for last week's thread

    Please follow the forum rules on this thread as Flylady has been here a LONG time and is a fabulous support and resource for lots of us. All posts should have some Flylady-related (ooh a compound adjective) content!

    The idea is that even if you are really busy you don't need to fall off the wagon!

    Every room comes back around next week so please don!!!8217;t stress about catching up

    These lists are only suggestions and not a must do list; you are more than welcome to post and follow your own lists.

    Also adding a declutter mission each day will help to gradually clear the clutter and make flying easier.

    A few of the basics before we start the week

    Hotspots are areas where if one thing gets put there, loads of other things follow!

    Daily routines are anything you need to do on a daily basis like washing, swish and swipe kitchen and bathroom, ironing, making beds, vacuuming high traffic areas, making meals etc.

    Night-time routines are all things which make getting ready in the morning easier, preparing clothes for the next day, making lunches, swish & swipes of the kitchen and tidying the living room before you go to bed plus personals like shower/brush teeth etc.

    Fling Boogie - stick on some loud music, grab a bin bag and whiz around the house finding items that can go out with the rubbish, recycling, for charity shop, basically anything that will stop it cluttering your home.

    Swish and swipe/S&S means have a quick wipe over an area such as a sink or toilet to prevent the build up of dirt. This is usually done on a daily basis

    HHE/HHC/HHI Half Hour exercise/challenge/ironing ... run around for 30 minutes to the Benny Hill music frantically cleaning exercising or ironing.. other music may be used if you prefer!
    WM ~ Washing machine
    TD ~ Tumble dryer
    SC ~ Slowcooker
    BM ~ Breadmaker
    DW ~ Dishwasher
    SOAADFA ~ Sit on 'bottom' and do 'nothing'
    KH/XH/FW ~ Ex-husband and other not so polite versions
    DH/DD/DS/DW/DP ~ Dear husband/daughter/son/wife/partner/whatever
    OH/SO ~ Other half/significant other
    NN ~ nice neighbour
    Toxic (friend/mother/sister/whoever) ~ person in your life that seems to exist to make your life miserable
    AF ~ Aunt Flo 'time of the month'.. nothing to do with flying but it comes up often.
    ETA ~ Edited to add
    Gibble ~ miscellaneous crap that appears forever homeless
    Dot-to-dot ~ pick a small area (not a whole room) like a chair/coffee/table/shelf/worktop or wherever- thats your first 'dot' - totally clear it - clean it - and only put back what should be there - deal with what you have removed (not just move it somewhere else) then if you have time move on and do the same to another 'dot' -the idea is just like a dot to dot puzzle, you aim to join up all the dots and have a tidy room. The trick is to keep each dot tidy until you get them all joined up! All credit to AnW's Mum for this one
    RoD ~ Room of Doom, the one room that feels like it is a permanent pit and cannot be used to its potential!
    MAD half hour
    - Mad is the abbreviation for Make A Difference.
    The idea is that you have a Forth bridge (ie never-ending - or just huge) task but that you work on it in half-hour bursts. This way you know you ARE stooping, and that you won't get it finished but you will make a difference - so it might be clearing out - the garage or shed, or clothes sorting, or weeding - you get the picture - but rather than keep going until you've lost the will to live you do half an hour...but, eventually those half hours will get the job done!

    Mr S/A/T/M/L/Al - supermarkets Sainsburys, Asda, Tesco, Morrisons, Lidl, Aldi. You get the picture!!

    Click here to read Toots wonderful welcome guide

    ok Here goes this Week...



    Magnificent Monday - Kitchen and dining room
    Level One


    Clear and wipe worksurfaces
    Scrub down the front of units and large appliances - don't forget those icky handles!


    Level Two

    Wipe and replace small appliances
    Clean oven and hob
    Wash windows and sills

    Level Three

    Wipe the table and chairs... clean cloth if necessary
    Sweep and mop the floor
    Degunge the fridge!

    Extras

    Thoroughly clean the cutlery drawer!
    Run the WM's and DW's through a clean cycle
    Clean all the filters and door seals etc
    Before you put the cloth in the wash - wipe the catflap!
    HHI
    A new month has started - make sure you have all cards needed!


    Triffic Tuesday

    Bathroom blitz....


    Are you ready Steve?. Uh uh, Andy? Yeah Mick? Okay alright fellas...

    Let's goooooooo


    Level one

    Open windows
    Remove rubbish
    Take toothglass downstairs for washing
    Remove towels

    Level 2
    Scrub bath/ shower and don't forget screen and taps
    Polish taps with mf cloth
    Wipe Bath panel
    Douse loo in loo cleaner
    Scrub out loo
    Wipe outside if loo with cloth
    Put loo cloth in wm

    Level 3
    Scrub sink
    Wipe/polish any cabinets
    Polish sink taps
    Vacuum/ mop floor
    Put out clean towels

    Extras
    Remove fly corpses from light fitting
    Clean pelmets and skirting and any dust traps
    Do something nice for those you love - bake a cake...or a batch of Twinks
    Work on one (at least) of your challenges...MAD half hour!


    Wednesday - Beautiful Bedroom

    Level 1
    Open the window
    strip the bed
    clean window
    make bed
    dust sill
    dust curtain rails/pelmets

    Level 2
    dust all surfaces
    wipe light pulls/switches
    wipe cosmetic bottles with a just-damp cloth
    polish mirrors

    Level 3
    vacuum/dust all light fittings
    clear detritus from bedside tables
    empty any bins
    vacuum/sweep floors

    extras
    clear bedside cabinets
    HHI
    S&S kitchen and bathroom
    MAD half hour - challenge time


    Thursday look after the lounge day

    Level 1


    Open windows and let in fresh air
    Empty bin
    Flick a cobweb duster round coving, along picture rail and over light fittings
    Vacuum or wipe sofa and swap cushions and/or seat pads
    Plump cushions
    Tidy and clean coffee/side tables

    Level 2

    Dust everywhere and wipe sticky spots inc switches with a damp cloth
    Don't forget skirting, tops of doors and sills and curtain tracks

    Level 3

    Thorough vacuum inc under furniture
    Don't forget the edges
    Wipe door - both sides
    Clean window

    Extras

    s&s bathrooms, kitchen
    HHI
    Plan some me time or down time for this weekend
    Challenge work - use your MAD half hour


    Final Flourish Friday - those neglected or high-traffic areas

    Halls, stairs, landing, porch


    Level 1


    Clear out the clutter
    Whack the mats against a wall
    Clean windows and mirrors


    Level 2

    Dust all horizontal surfaces
    Wipe banisters, light switches and sticky finger traps
    Assign shoe-cleaning duty to shoe owners


    Level 3
    Check high places and dark corners for webs
    Sweep, mop and vacuum the floor - whichever's best for your flooring


    Extras
    Assign a child to pocket checking - make sure nothing unpleasant is being harboured
    Give kiddies a bin bag - to fill from their OWN room
    Find a frog and start to nibble it and/or MAD half hour
    S&S bathroom and kitchen
    Last edited by Valli; 08-03-2018 at 9:53 PM. Reason: [
    "I would like more sisters, that the taking out of one, might not leave such stillness" Emily Dickinson

    Thank you Honey Bear
Page 3
    • Dizzy Imp
    • By Dizzy Imp 5th Mar 18, 2:00 PM
    • 2,222 Posts
    • 20,901 Thanks
    Dizzy Imp
    DH just text to say he won't hear about the job for a couple of weeks as there have been a couple of late applications that the top boss wants to review and possibility interview candidates from.

    What are deadlines for applications set for? Humph...

    I've Decluttered lunch and a cuppa and sorted through my make-up caddy. Several old items flung.

    Well done on getting relicenced LW. Glad the council chap could see how well you care for the dogs x

    Oh dear, my mood has dropped. Why does the smallest setback feel like a mountain to climb sometimes?
    • dancemum
    • By dancemum 5th Mar 18, 2:04 PM
    • 2,111 Posts
    • 30,752 Thanks
    dancemum
    Afternoon all. Thank you for the threads x

    The snow has gone
    It is an insect day here. So I have a bored teen here. He doesn!!!8217;t want to go out.
    Mr T delivery put away
    Waiting for a package (shoes for dancepops)
    Towels washed
    Ground floor dysoned
    • pigpen
    • By pigpen 5th Mar 18, 2:22 PM
    • 36,723 Posts
    • 472,690 Thanks
    pigpen
    Piggers, I am glad you are getting some peace while someone else is sleeping, good luck on the dress fitting..
    Originally posted by kazwookie
    I have 5 I want to fit... I bought them and then found out I was having Twinkle so they are yet to fit again... They will though, I am determined.. I need about another inch off my torso to get my favourite one to fasten.. but one of the others fits perfectly but needs a bit of bust adjustment which I can't do by myself.. I need it pinning for me.

    I want to do some painting but I can't do anything until my glitter is delivered tomorrow..

    Ooh a very large fluffy black mog just appeared in my garden.. he looks like a bear! .. Meh.. mine will eat him.

    oh buzzards... I'm going to get another cuppa and do my knitting, because I can!
    LB moment 10/06 Debt Free date 6/6/14
    Hope to be debt free until the day I die
    Mortgage-free Wannabee (05/08/30)
    6/6/14 £72,454.65 (5.65% int.)
    15/05/2018 £53528.71 (2.41% int.)
    • Jazee
    • By Jazee 5th Mar 18, 2:32 PM
    • 4,422 Posts
    • 51,912 Thanks
    Jazee
    The inside of the fridge is now degunged. I can't believe there has been still so much to do in the kitchen after spending 3 hours cleaning in there on Saturday.

    Still no collection.
    Savings 2018: £1478.11
    • Jojo the Tightfisted
    • By Jojo the Tightfisted 5th Mar 18, 5:05 PM
    • 24,232 Posts
    • 95,728 Thanks
    Jojo the Tightfisted
    Iona.. she is a turd.. She is horrible when she is hungry like OH and horrible when she is tired, .. not at all like me ... and given she doesn't eat or sleep if she can help it we have a very grumpy little girl most of the time.

    I've had food and a cuppa so I feel almost human.. so now I shall go attempt something useful.

    I peeled a thing off the wall in DD3's new room and found.... a blooming great hole in my wall... fuming!!!! Anyway, it is now filled .. and the smaller one covered by Mr T tape! so I shall sand that a bit.. I am waiting for my glitter delivery which should be tomorrow and I shall crazk on with Meems room.. DS2 wants blue but I am thinking his may be greyed or cream with blue accessories.. it is MY house after all. Bless him, he even makes his bed in a morning! It is a new thing.. and he has no junk piled on his bed.. and his room is tidy.... he needs a bin though.. I shall add it to my immense shopping list!

    Off to try on a dress, see if my weight loss enables me to fit in it!
    Originally posted by pigpen
    What about a blue-grey/grey-blue? Might be a bit Farrow & Ball, but you can get relatively reasonably priced copies of such fanciness from the big orange DIY shed or direct from the manufacturer - I've got this one http://www.craigandrose.com/moonstone-grey downstairs - it looks blue if you put it with blue things (thus keeping the occupant happy) but will revert to grey if you put it next to other colours. I fell in love with how easy they were to tosh on the walls and absolutely detest Dulux since making the mistake of buying that for another room because the Offspring wanted purples (Wild Heather and Summat Else more of a Royal Purple colour).


    I've got two absolutely insane weeks at work now. I'm knackered already. By the end of the fortnight I'll be needing Himself to come and collect me each night in a wheelbarrow.
    I could dream to wide extremes, I could do or die: I could yawn and be withdrawn and watch the world go by.

    Yup you are officially Rock n Roll
    Originally posted by colinw
    • Mumof2
    • By Mumof2 5th Mar 18, 6:24 PM
    • 2,643 Posts
    • 40,508 Thanks
    Mumof2
    Mumof2, you probably know MoD jobs are subject to security clearance. Because I was born in Germany (army brat) the agency I once worked for had not realised I was subject to an extra level of clearance, so my application had been put on the back burner. One phone call by me cleared it up, but if I hadn't chased it, I wouldn't have got the job. Five weeks is too long - can you or J ring them to see what's happening?
    Originally posted by Honey Bear
    I think J will be onto them tomorrow as taking such a very long time. Thanks lovely x
    H2H challenge: 2 hours 15 mins
    • Honey Bear
    • By Honey Bear 5th Mar 18, 6:48 PM
    • 5,020 Posts
    • 50,265 Thanks
    Honey Bear
    Well done on the wardrobe sort, Dizzy. I don't know why a bit of disapointting news destroys a good mood, but sometimes it just does. I had the same thing happen last week. In the end I just told myself to get on with something I enjoyed and the *meh* passed, but it had thrown me completely for an hour or so.

    Silicone sealant scraped out of the bath and the shower prior to me resealing them. Quite satisfying once you get going, but the bath obviously needed doing months ago - oooooops - and it took hours. I'd hoped to pop into T0t3m timber on the way back from the dentist to pick up a new tube of the sealant just in case the old one's past its best but they were shut. Such a shame, it means I'll have to stop work. However, Hobbycrap was still open so I managed to get a new pokey tool for hoiking out the last of the flecks of the stuff but as it's an H2H spend I'm not beating myself up.

    But then I bought a metre of fabric and 5m of ribbon which I shouldn't have, but as they're stock investment spends for business I've forgiven myself. That's the trouble with spending money - it's so easy to justify it. *smack*
    Keeping it AF
    • pigpen
    • By pigpen 5th Mar 18, 6:55 PM
    • 36,723 Posts
    • 472,690 Thanks
    pigpen
    jojo.. ty.. I like Johnstones paint.. and macphersons (also known as Crown) .. Dulux is rubbish.. and B&Q paint is rubbish too.. I've made both those mistakes. I'm not looking at doing DS's room until Meems is done..

    Light fitting being replaced in the morning so I need to send someone to the binky for some quids...

    TD on and WM

    OH hung up wet stuff.

    My poor old tum is very unhappy at the moment.. so I'm skipping dinner .. everyone else if fed though.

    Squeak and Dot need flinging in the shower in my beautiful pretty clean bathroom.. <3 .. Pixie went in this morning.. and Twinkle can go in later.
    LB moment 10/06 Debt Free date 6/6/14
    Hope to be debt free until the day I die
    Mortgage-free Wannabee (05/08/30)
    6/6/14 £72,454.65 (5.65% int.)
    15/05/2018 £53528.71 (2.41% int.)
    • tboo
    • By tboo 5th Mar 18, 7:12 PM
    • 652 Posts
    • 3,922 Thanks
    tboo
    Magnificent Monday - Kitchen and dining room
    Level One


    Clear and wipe worksurfaces
    Scrub down the front of units and large appliances - don't forget those icky handles!



    Level Two

    Wipe and replace small appliances

    Clean oven and hob
    Wash windows and sills


    Level Three

    Wipe the table and chairs... clean cloth if necessary
    Sweep and mop the floor
    Degunge the fridge!


    Extras

    Thoroughly clean the cutlery drawer!
    Run the WM's and DW's through a clean cycle
    Clean all the filters and door seals etc
    Before you put the cloth in the wash - wipe the catflap!
    HHI
    A new month has started - make sure you have all cards needed!
    started on the No Clutter thread - 25/01/2018
    “You’re only here for a short visit. Don’t hurry, don't worry and be sure to smell the flowers along the way.” —Walter Hagen
    I don't have a diary but I do aim to be mortgage free by the beginning of August 2018
    30/04/18 £3600 to go // 15/05/18 £2349.37 to go
    • Jojo the Tightfisted
    • By Jojo the Tightfisted 5th Mar 18, 7:54 PM
    • 24,232 Posts
    • 95,728 Thanks
    Jojo the Tightfisted
    The crud about the OHsXW is now sorted. He's going to the local dump nearest comprehensive. He'll certainly be one of the smartest children there. And it's the shortest distance to run home to get out of trouble. Even though it will involve walking through the site of a fatal stabbing to do so. I obviously know the area and school better than either parent, but I'm not going to mention it. If she's got half an ounce of sense, she'll apply for a midyear transfer once she realises what it's like - but it could have been worse; I could have found the lad turning up on SIMS for this school from September - which would have been really awkward.

    He actually got to see the lad for the first time in literally years tonight, just for an hour, but he's very happy. So much so, he's apparently cooking pie AND burgers _green_ and roasting up some spuds.

    Wandered into the kitchen in search of a snack whilst he was out. And wandered straight back out again. How has he managed to fill the sink with washing up (in manky water, naturally) when there hasn't been any cooking today? And why are there more cans and jars back on the counter?


    Trying to rein in my inner dragon, as he's getting somewhere with one job application and I'm very aware from the fact I seem to have developed the biggest b00bs in the world over the last hour or so that it's potentially a dangerous week for him where I'm concerned.


    Bathrooms both look as immaculate today as they do any other time. Bedroom looks pretty good, too. There's a mountain of GuitarTwat related gibble on the spare bed which makes it impossible to sit on it, but if he's disappearing up there again after dinner, following the weekend where he hasn't even noticed I've gone to bed for hours (and was a little put out/'Oh. You didn't say Goodnight to me' about it), I'm going straight to bed for a relaxing time listening to the radio.

    He and the cats are all probably safer that way.
    I could dream to wide extremes, I could do or die: I could yawn and be withdrawn and watch the world go by.

    Yup you are officially Rock n Roll
    Originally posted by colinw
    • Fayolle
    • By Fayolle 5th Mar 18, 7:56 PM
    • 598 Posts
    • 7,285 Thanks
    Fayolle
    Everyone's been so busy! Rely on me to let the side down....I think the sum total productiveness for today has been to empty the DW, run the WM, reheat dinner and WULTD afterwards. DH has put out the recycling bins for tomorrow so is expecting his halo shined and everlasting pats on the back. Errrr - sorry - but who actually sorted the recycling out into the bins??

    LW - well done on the inspection, absolutely deserved.
    Dizzy - go you with the wardrobe clearance.
    Jazee - I hope your person turned up.

    Hugs, sticks and spoons all round to those in need. Please help yourselves. X
    • pigpen
    • By pigpen 5th Mar 18, 8:12 PM
    • 36,723 Posts
    • 472,690 Thanks
    pigpen
    fayolle.. you may have done more than me! I delegated lots..
    LB moment 10/06 Debt Free date 6/6/14
    Hope to be debt free until the day I die
    Mortgage-free Wannabee (05/08/30)
    6/6/14 £72,454.65 (5.65% int.)
    15/05/2018 £53528.71 (2.41% int.)
    • YORKSHIRELASS
    • By YORKSHIRELASS 5th Mar 18, 8:33 PM
    • 4,557 Posts
    • 37,981 Thanks
    YORKSHIRELASS
    Hi all

    Checking in. Boss was awful today. He is having personal problems and he can't leave it at home, he is grumpy, picks fault, checks up on me constantly. Need to develop some broad shoulders and see if it blows over.

    Roast done for tea, kitchen cleaned, car hoovered after something got spilt, some work done on job no.2, DS delivered to GFs. Tired now.
    • lauradora
    • By lauradora 5th Mar 18, 9:38 PM
    • 1,365 Posts
    • 4,661 Thanks
    lauradora
    Evening all,
    Im in this week, not played for ages, sorry but just started mat leave and now need to be kept on the straight and narrow. In addition to the few bits below from the list I have also batch cooked for the whole fam for the day, sent both DD and DH off with pack ups, changed my bedding before it walked out the room on its own and got tofu out to drain for tea tomorrow


    Magnificent Monday - Kitchen and dining room
    Level One

    Clear and wipe worksurfaces
    Scrub down the front of units and large appliances - don't forget those icky handles!


    Level Two

    Wipe and replace small appliances
    Clean oven and hob
    Wash windows and sills

    Level Three

    Wipe the table and chairs... clean cloth if necessary
    Sweep and mop the floor
    Degunge the fridge!

    Extras

    Thoroughly clean the cutlery drawer!
    Run the WM's and DW's through a clean cycle
    Clean all the filters and door seals etc
    Before you put the cloth in the wash - wipe the catflap!
    HHI
    A new month has started - make sure you have all cards needed!

    Still in debt but happy
    DFW nerd no 844


    • Valli
    • By Valli 5th Mar 18, 9:53 PM
    • 20,428 Posts
    • 232,228 Thanks
    Valli
    WUALTD
    DW x 1
    TD x 2
    WM x 1

    played games (Cards against Humanity!) with my kids this evening. DS made tea.

    Am in awe of DS's GF's parents whose youngest child was 'at a friends' - found her in town at MaccyDs at 22:15 - so turned up to get her, thanks to 'find my i phone'. Parent WIN! (she's 14)


    Oh I have been a superscrimper today..at asda there are 1l bottles of screenwash redued from £1.50 TO 15p WOOTY WOOTY WOOT WOOT. Bought 6; gave 1 to DD and one to DS's GF and will keep the rest in the shed!


    Re paint I tried Crown once and hated it as it was way too gloopy for me. And I unpacked powder paint today, badly packed and damaged. It didn!!!8217;t make for a calm, efficient day in the office.
    Last edited by Valli; 05-03-2018 at 10:45 PM.
    "I would like more sisters, that the taking out of one, might not leave such stillness" Emily Dickinson

    Thank you Honey Bear
    • lynnejk
    • By lynnejk 5th Mar 18, 11:21 PM
    • 5,343 Posts
    • 55,181 Thanks
    lynnejk
    Evening all

    Well done LW with passing with flying colours

    Admiration Dizzy for your wardrobe clear-out

    Brilliant painting going on there Pigpen. I've always steered away from blues and greys as find them a little cold in this country.

    Dailies and Spanish lesson done
    Dusted right through, top to bottom including all lights
    Most of kitchen done
    Cards bought and one posted
    Bank accounts checked and monies shuffled
    Did online check-ins for our holibobs flights
    Dinner out of freezer for tomorrow

    Made a good start on the big bookcase and sorted one shelf properly


    If it's gone I've done it or we don't have one

    Magnificent Monday - Kitchen and dining room
    Clean oven and hob
    Degunge the fridge!


    Triffic TuesdayBathroom blitz....
    Remove towels
    Scrub bath/ shower and don't forget screen and taps
    Polish taps with mf cloth
    Wipe Bath panel
    Douse loo in loo cleaner
    Scrub out loo
    Wipe outside if loo with cloth
    Put loo cloth in wm
    Scrub sink
    Wipe/polish any cabinets
    Polish sink taps
    Vacuum/ mop floor
    Put out clean towels
    Extras
    Remove fly corpses from light fitting
    Clean pelmets and skirting and any dust traps
    Do something nice for those you love
    Work on one (at least) of your challenges...MAD half hour


    Hugs, sticks and spoons if you need some
    Hope you all have a super Tuesday
    Lx
    £10day.2014=3213/2015=3421/2016=3238/2017=2702/2018=498..APR=12.03/300
    GrocC.2014=2162/2015=2083/2016=218/2017=1996/2018=450..APR=17.13/200
    Bulk buy.......APR=233.76
    GC.NSD..2015=216/2016=213/2017=229/2018=39..APR=03/15
    SPC130x61..2014=1178/2015=1287/2016=4616/2017=3843
    OS WL= -2/8 ......CC =00......Savings = £13,140
    • Mumof2
    • By Mumof2 6th Mar 18, 6:22 AM
    • 2,643 Posts
    • 40,508 Thanks
    Mumof2
    Had an awful evening yesterday. J had a text from Z's boyfriend's Mum who said that she had turned up there feeling depressed and finding things difficult at home. J went over at 6.30 to fetch her but to cut a long story short she wouldn't come home - she locked herself in her boyfriend's bathroom and it ended up that the Police had to be called in and brought her home.

    What I don't like is this was pre-meditated. R is the youngest of 4 and he has 3 sisters; 1 of which is very opinionated and was actually really rude to J telling him to go away as he wasn't helping. J was really calm about everything and called my SIL who is really close to Z and she spoke on the phone and ended up going to the house; she got Z out and they chatted but then Z blanked her out and locked herself back in the bathroom. She was coming up with phrases like 'I need a safe place' etc which she's never spoken like before - the eldest had taken Z and R (boyfriend) out to MacDs for a hot chocolate and they had been gone a long time and Z said that R's mum had said she could stay there? I don't get this as if it were me I'd say she could go for a chat but she needed to be at home with her parents but maybe it's just me? Apparently when J went to fetch her the whole family complete with BFs were there and J said it was like some awful American show like Jeremy Kyle with everyone watching and commenting. What about leaving J to talk to his daughter in private - they were sat on the stairs watching?

    When she got back home the Police told her to go upstairs and they had a chat with us and SIL They said they had no worries about her re safeguarding etc (I nearly cried when they said that but managed not to - as if we would ever do anything to our precious girl). They said she is clearly anxious and we are going to take her to the GP to talk about that - she has had counselling in School before but needs some more help. I told them I suffer from anxiety and know the warning signs. They said the rules are too strict and Z wants some flexibility and not to be treated as if she is 10. That probably refers to us wanting her to go to bed at 9.30, lights out at 10 and not have her phone in her bedroom as she chats to R til the early hours and gets up at 6. We need to compromise and so does she. What really shook me is they said sometimes a child can run away, be returned and it be a pattern and then they find somewhere where there's no rules and really bad stuff can happen .... she's very grown up looking, is beautiful and it breaks my heart to think of anything like that.

    So today we're off to the GP and need to talk to School. Me and J hardly slept all night so I've got up now to share this with you guys and to do some paid work as I have reports in to do. Can't believe this has happened but it has. We had a chat after Police went which is when she said the idea came back on Friday. We need to meet on middle ground, J needs to not be so strict. He's hurt by all this; looked close to tears and I just held him. I feel sick.

    Sorry for ramble.
    H2H challenge: 2 hours 15 mins
    • Valli
    • By Valli 6th Mar 18, 6:39 AM
    • 20,428 Posts
    • 232,228 Thanks
    Valli
    (((Hugs))) Mumof2
    "I would like more sisters, that the taking out of one, might not leave such stillness" Emily Dickinson

    Thank you Honey Bear
    • Fayolle
    • By Fayolle 6th Mar 18, 7:00 AM
    • 598 Posts
    • 7,285 Thanks
    Fayolle
    ((Hugs)) x a million Mumof2. I can too easily imagine what you are going through. My DD is the same age as your's. X
    • atypicalblonde
    • By atypicalblonde 6th Mar 18, 7:07 AM
    • 2,860 Posts
    • 20,049 Thanks
    atypicalblonde
    Have a huge hug from me Mumof2 xxx

    Dizzy - I totally get what you say about a mood slump. I was on top of the world yesterday morning. That all changed when HMRC called me requesting a ‘routine’ VAT meeting in April

    I am beside myself with worry and it’s 6 weeks away. Barely slept and anxiety through the roof. I know my VAT isn’t perfect, whose is, but if there are any errors they are genuine. Told accountant and begged him to attend with me. Also decided he can do our VAT from now on.

    Sorry head full of stuff. Again, biggest of hugs to Mumof2 xxxx
    MFW
    Mortgage 8.2.15 - £171,064.64 Mortgage 1.5.2018 - £99,980.45
    Aiming to be MF 1.10.2020
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