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  • FIRST POST
    • lovesmakeup
    • By lovesmakeup 4th Mar 18, 2:08 PM
    • 13Posts
    • 11Thanks
    lovesmakeup
    Help Dire Straits
    • #1
    • 4th Mar 18, 2:08 PM
    Help Dire Straits 4th Mar 18 at 2:08 PM
    I'm going to try not to ramble and just give the facts.

    My dad died two years ago and I inherited enough money to put down a large deposit on a house. I had to take out a loan for 12k to cover the stamp duty as I didn't receive all the inheritance I thought I was going to receive.

    I have struggled really badly with depression since as the way he died was horrific and I had to leave my job (working with suicidal mental patients) because of it.

    Since getting my house 12 months ago I've managed to spend thousands. A friend tried to help me sort things out 6 months ago and she had to give up as I was basically still spending. In fact I spent another 5 grand.

    She's since realised what I've done so has sat down and explained that if I continue I could lose my house. She wasn't being dramatic, she showed me the financial state I was in.

    I need help. What do I do?

    All of our expenses are committed ones, like the mobile phones - do we default on them? Will this affect my remortgage in 12 months? I have a large personal spending allowance but it covers my fuel and anything I need including haircuts etc. Same for OH. If our personal spendings are too restrictive we're likely to blow all of our money.

    Our overdraft is at £3600 so with the help of our friend we've opened two new personal accounts with a different bank and then a joint account with another bank. We won't have access to the joint account for a while, she will so that we don't transfer money to our personal accounts. This is the reason we failed the first time as she gave us a budget of £200 each and then by the end of the month we'd taken 4 x that amount so we need not to have access. Our council tax has bounced every month for three months, my car payment has bounced for two months and they've served me with a default notice.

    Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet

    Household Information

    Number of adults in household........... 2
    Number of children in household......... 0
    Number of cars owned.................... 2

    Monthly Income Details

    Monthly income after tax................ 2000
    Partners monthly income after tax....... 1340
    Benefits................................ 0
    Other income............................ 0
    Total monthly income.................... 3340


    Monthly Expense Details

    Mortgage................................ 767
    Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 530
    Rent.................................... 0
    Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
    Council tax............................. 143
    Electricity............................. 182
    Gas..................................... 0
    Oil..................................... 0
    Water rates............................. 40
    Telephone (land line)................... 0
    Mobile phone............................ 160
    TV Licence.............................. 13
    Satellite/Cable TV...................... 35
    Internet Services....................... 0
    Groceries etc. ......................... 100
    Clothing................................ 0
    Petrol/diesel........................... 0
    Road tax................................ 31.93
    Car Insurance........................... 158
    Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 66
    Car parking............................. 30
    Other travel............................ 0
    Childcare/nursery....................... 0
    Other child related expenses............ 0
    Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 101.75
    Pet insurance/vet bills................. 160
    Buildings insurance..................... 39.84
    Contents insurance...................... 0
    Life assurance ......................... 22.23
    Other insurance......................... 0
    Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 0
    Haircuts................................ 0
    Entertainment........................... 0
    Holiday................................. 0
    Emergency fund.......................... 0
    My expenses............................. 487.5
    OH expenses inc smoking, fuel etc....... 375
    RCN..................................... 30
    (Unnamed monthly expense)............... 0
    (Unnamed monthly expense)............... 0
    (Unnamed monthly expense)............... 0
    (Unnamed monthly expense)............... 0
    Total monthly expenses.................. 3472.25



    Assets

    Cash.................................... 0
    House value (Gross)..................... 290000
    Shares and bonds........................ 0
    Car(s).................................. 28000
    Other assets............................ 0
    Total Assets............................ 318000



    Secured & HP Debts

    Description....................Debt......Monthly.. .APR
    Mortgage...................... 191.25...(767)......1.34<
    Car............................8000.....(330)..... .0<
    Van............................12000....(200)..... .9
    Total secured & HP debts...... 20191.25..-.........-


    Unsecured Debts
    Description....................Debt......Monthly.. .APR
    Lloyds Credit Card 0%..........1121.95...25........0
    Sainsburys Credit Car..........4900......160.......28.9
    Tesco Credit Card..............1837.86...25........0
    Lloyds Loan....................10426.....270.......10
    Lloyds Overdraft...............3600......150.......20
    Total unsecured debts..........21885.81..630.......-



    Monthly Budget Summary

    Total monthly income.................... 3,340
    Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 3,472.25
    Available for debt repayments........... -132.25
    Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 630
    Amount short for making debt repayments. -762.25


    Personal Balance Sheet Summary
    Total assets (things you own)........... 318,000
    Total HP & Secured debt................. -20,191.25
    Total Unsecured debt.................... -21,885.81
    Net Assets.............................. 275,922.94


    Last edited by lovesmakeup; 04-03-2018 at 2:24 PM. Reason: got my house value wrong
Page 2
    • DCFC79
    • By DCFC79 4th Mar 18, 5:48 PM
    • 31,899 Posts
    • 20,085 Thanks
    DCFC79
    Apologies if mentioned already but Road Tax and Car Ins (so due to speeding, check the copmparison sites as could be cheaper) are both high, is that really a monthly amount ?

    To make any changes you have to want to change, you have to be prepared to stick to these changes.

    Both your personal expenses at £862pm is a lot, the cigs is that fags or roll ups, what I wrote above applies here.
    Last edited by DCFC79; 04-03-2018 at 6:25 PM.
    • CapricornLass
    • By CapricornLass 4th Mar 18, 6:05 PM
    • 153 Posts
    • 502 Thanks
    CapricornLass
    HI, Lovesmakeup,

    I'm sorry to hear of your troubles.

    RE the mobiles - maybe worth phoning up your mobile contractors and telling them that your circumstances have changed and you can no longer afford to pay this amount each month, and see if you can re-negotiate? Worth a try - don't ask, dont get sort of thing.

    I'm sorry, but £420 a month on food is extortionate even for 3 of you and the dog (that's over £5000 on food a year!) I only spend £200-£250 for two adults, depending on the number of weeks in the month, and that would be regarded as a lot by many people here. However, I suffer from multiple food allergies, which really restricts my choices, and that figure also includes all my cleaning stuff, £5 of stuff for the local crisis centre and a couple of bottles of wine for OH. You can do a lot here to save, I think, but if you don't know where to start, then held over to the Old Style Moneysaving board, and have a look at the the March 2018 Grocery Challege. Although I'm not suggesting that you will want to take part in that now, there are lots of links to ideas on how to budget, plan and shop, that will help you to reduce this bill. Also, if you have time, look up a programme called Eat Well for Less. You can pick up episodes on Youtube if it's no longer on BBC IPlayer. That's a real-eye opener too, on how clever choices can really save you money.

    Its infuriating how the points for speeding bump your insurance up, isn't it? However, I would suggest that you also check Compare the Market and Confused.com at renewal time to compare with your renewal notice see that you really are getting the best deal.

    I would really echo Mallygirl's suggestion of keeping a spending diary. You need to record everything that you spend each day - and I mean EVERYTHING - car parking ticket, takeout coffee, your sandwiches that you bought from the canteen, etc, etc. Once you have kept that for a little while, you can see where the money is disappearing, and then you can take steps to avoid/reduce that outgoing (e.g., bring your sandwiches from home instead of buying them from the canteen.)

    I'm afraid there is no magic wand to sort this out overnight. Long term, you and your OH are going to have to change the way you view and use money, if you want to hang on to your house and your car and continue to have other nice things in life. However, chin up. You have woken up to the fact that there is a problem, and you are willing to do something about it, which are often the hardest steps of all. Also, everyone here has been in your shoes. We do understand. If you need help/moral support, please ask - we'll be there to cheer you on!
    Sealed Pot Challenge no 265.
    • cms-help
    • By cms-help 4th Mar 18, 6:50 PM
    • 176 Posts
    • 161 Thanks
    cms-help
    Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet

    Household Information

    Number of adults in household........... 2
    Number of children in household......... 0
    Number of cars owned.................... 2

    Monthly Income Details

    Monthly income after tax................ 2000 * any chance of overtime for either of you?
    Partners monthly income after tax....... 1340
    Benefits................................ 0
    Other income............................ 0 * include lodger income here
    Total monthly income.................... 3340


    Monthly Expense Details

    Mortgage................................ 767
    Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 530
    Rent.................................... 0
    Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
    Council tax............................. 143
    Electricity............................. 182 *this is very high. Why is the thermostat outside, that makes no sense at all? Look at getting it moved.
    Gas..................................... 0
    Oil..................................... 0
    Water rates............................. 40
    Telephone (land line)................... 0
    Mobile phone............................ 160 * in all honesty, this is a ridiculous amount to be paying in this day and age. Speak to your contract provider and explain your situation.
    TV Licence.............................. 13
    Satellite/Cable TV...................... 35
    Internet Services....................... 0
    Groceries etc. ......................... 100 *use an accurate figure here for ALL the food shopping. Do you feed your lodger or do they buy their own food?
    Clothing................................ 0
    Petrol/diesel........................... 0 *you never put fuel in the car?
    Road tax................................ 31.93
    Car Insurance........................... 158 *shop around. This is extortionate.
    Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 66 *do you put this away every month? If so, why isn't it showing as an asset?
    Car parking............................. 30 *park further away and walk
    Other travel............................ 0
    Childcare/nursery....................... 0
    Other child related expenses............ 0
    Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 101.75 *you cannot afford this. My husband is on a daily contact lense scheme and it's £22 a month. Alternatively, switch to glasses. As for £50 a month on dental, is your dental bill really £300 a year. I know it doesn't take much but I haven't had any work done in over 30 years so it seems extraordinary to me! Get on a waitlist for an nhs dentist too.
    Pet insurance/vet bills................. 160 *we didn't spend this on 3 large Boxer dogs.
    Buildings insurance..................... 39.84 *not much to be saved but am sure there's a little
    Contents insurance...................... 0
    Life assurance ......................... 22.23
    Other insurance......................... 0
    Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 0 *never?
    Haircuts................................ 0 *never?
    Entertainment........................... 0
    Holiday................................. 0
    Emergency fund.......................... 0 *definitely need to start saving something
    My expenses............................. 487.5 *what is this for?
    OH expenses inc smoking, fuel etc....... 375 *does he realise how desperate the situation is? Would he give up?
    RCN..................................... 30
    (Unnamed monthly expense)............... 0
    (Unnamed monthly expense)............... 0
    (Unnamed monthly expense)............... 0
    (Unnamed monthly expense)............... 0
    Total monthly expenses.................. 3472.25
    *without any debts you are seriously overspending every month and need to take action


    Assets

    Cash.................................... 0
    House value (Gross)..................... 290000
    Shares and bonds........................ 0
    Car(s).................................. 28000
    Other assets............................ 0
    Total Assets............................ 318000



    Secured & HP Debts

    Description....................Debt......Monthly.. .APR
    Mortgage...................... 191.25...(767)......1.34< (do you mean £191,250)
    Car............................8000.....(330)..... .0<
    Van............................12000....(200)..... .9
    Total secured & HP debts...... 20191.25..-.........-


    Unsecured Debts
    Description....................Debt......Monthly.. .APR
    Lloyds Credit Card 0%..........1121.95...25........0
    Sainsburys Credit Car..........4900......160.......28.9
    Tesco Credit Card..............1837.86...25........0
    Lloyds Loan....................10426.....270.......10
    Lloyds Overdraft...............3600......150.......20 *fees are crippling an already crippled budget
    Total unsecured debts..........21885.81..630.......-



    Monthly Budget Summary

    Total monthly income.................... 3,340
    Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 3,472.25
    Available for debt repayments........... -132.25
    Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 630
    Amount short for making debt repayments. -762.25


    Personal Balance Sheet Summary
    Total assets (things you own)........... 318,000
    Total HP & Secured debt................. -20,191.25
    Total Unsecured debt.................... -21,885.81
    Net Assets.............................. 275,922.94


    Originally posted by lovesmakeup
    You have quite a lot of work to do to balance the books although it could just about be doable if you change your habits. Otherwise you're going to have to default and suffer the consequences. If the car loan register a default on your credit file then that might damage your mortgage at renewal.
    Last edited by cms-help; 04-03-2018 at 6:53 PM.
    • lovesmakeup
    • By lovesmakeup 4th Mar 18, 7:00 PM
    • 13 Posts
    • 11 Thanks
    lovesmakeup
    Ok. You have explained it all but you are very obviously overspending I feel you not only pay £860 in non essential personal spending but also the £80 per week from your lodger.

    It seems the urgent things are your car and the council tax. Reduce your personal spends down as you cannot afford the amount you have allocated given your other outgoings are high too. Good that you know things have to change. How much of that personal money is fuel for both you and OH to get to work? £160 for me, not sure on OH because he also will buy lunch and cigarettes at the same time but he thinks £120 would do him moving forward

    You could probably get your food shop to £250 if you were more careful and shopped at discount supermarkets depending on whether you feed the lodger too or not. This would mean £270 of your shortfall would be covered if you put the lodger money straight in your bank so you are not tempted to fritter it. This means you need to find an additional £360 savings from your personal expenses and cutting down on the categories you are overspending like mobile phones, pet costs, medical expenses and electricity. Turn the thermostat down slightly and investigate cheaper tariffs. I will start putting the £80 from the lodge into the account and reduce our food budget. I will also look at the energy usage and have put a switch to EDF which says will save £700 a year (I know thats not always accurate). The mobiles, I don't know what to do about. I will cancel the 02 one when I can get through to them but with the £100 for EE, do I default and get us payg sims?

    A DMP will affect you remortgaging although if you stick with your current lender they may not credit search you. You are on a good rate now so you don't want that to increase. You both need to be more disciplined with your money. Alternatively you can sell up and clear it and go back to renting. That would not be my choice and you would lose all your inheritance. It looks like you overstretched with the house purchase as the start of your problems and then carried on overspending which is easily done if you don't keep an eye on where your money is going. We would stick with our current lender and are going to use our main joint account with them instead of who our loan is with. Selling the house isn't an option and I think would be the end of many things for us.

    If your OH is a smoker get him to quit or use cheaper alternative like roll ups or nicotine replacements. The usual culprits for overspending are alcohol, takeaways and coffee shops or pub outings. Allow yourself a small budget for this each month and keep to it to stop you feeling too deprived. Maybe once a month takeaway on pay day. Don't buy lunches out, take them from home.
    Originally posted by enthusiasticsaver
    Thank you for your feedback I will look at everything you've mentioned

    I get the impression personal spending may include rather a lot on makeup. Use up what you have!
    Originally posted by theoretica
    It runs into the thousands. My friend is trying to persuade me to sell some of it and I think she might be right

    I have daily contact lenses from specsavers, a specific type because of my astigmatism, but nowhere near £50pm. Can you take a holiday from them and wear glasses for a while?
    Originally posted by Haylescom
    I will look at this, I do sometimes wear glasses

    £300 a month on overdraft fees is not sustainable on your budget. Is there any option of a 0% deal or can you talk to Lloyds. I think a DMP would have to be the way forward if you cannot get that sorted.

    Good that you have sorted the council tax but to stop the robbing Peter to pay Paul mentality you will have to set a budget and keep to it and not at the level shown above in your soa. Otherwise the debt will continue to rise and you will default eventually.
    Originally posted by enthusiasticsaver
    I'm pretty sure Lloyds will be immovable but I'm going to write to them (Struggle with phone calls) and I think I don't have any 0% options available but am going to look into it now
    • lovesmakeup
    • By lovesmakeup 4th Mar 18, 7:08 PM
    • 13 Posts
    • 11 Thanks
    lovesmakeup
    HI, Lovesmakeup,

    I'm sorry to hear of your troubles.

    RE the mobiles - maybe worth phoning up your mobile contractors and telling them that your circumstances have changed and you can no longer afford to pay this amount each month, and see if you can re-negotiate? Worth a try - don't ask, dont get sort of thing.
    I will try this

    I'm sorry, but £420 a month on food is extortionate even for 3 of you and the dog (that's over £5000 on food a year!) I only spend £200-£250 for two adults, depending on the number of weeks in the month, and that would be regarded as a lot by many people here. However, I suffer from multiple food allergies, which really restricts my choices, and that figure also includes all my cleaning stuff, £5 of stuff for the local crisis centre and a couple of bottles of wine for OH. You can do a lot here to save, I think, but if you don't know where to start, then held over to the Old Style Moneysaving board, and have a look at the the March 2018 Grocery Challege. Although I'm not suggesting that you will want to take part in that now, there are lots of links to ideas on how to budget, plan and shop, that will help you to reduce this bill. Also, if you have time, look up a programme called Eat Well for Less. You can pick up episodes on Youtube if it's no longer on BBC IPlayer. That's a real-eye opener too, on how clever choices can really save you money.I think, when you think about it as £80 a week it doesn't sound like its loads (it might do to you) but yes, when you then think of it as a monthly figure..........wow)

    Its infuriating how the points for speeding bump your insurance up, isn't it? However, I would suggest that you also check Compare the Market and Confused.com at renewal time to compare with your renewal notice see that you really are getting the best deal.renewal for his van is due now so I'll look

    I would really echo Mallygirl's suggestion of keeping a spending diary. You need to record everything that you spend each day - and I mean EVERYTHING - car parking ticket, takeout coffee, your sandwiches that you bought from the canteen, etc, etc. Once you have kept that for a little while, you can see where the money is disappearing, and then you can take steps to avoid/reduce that outgoing (e.g., bring your sandwiches from home instead of buying them from the canteen.)

    I'm afraid there is no magic wand to sort this out overnight. Long term, you and your OH are going to have to change the way you view and use money, if you want to hang on to your house and your car and continue to have other nice things in life. However, chin up. You have woken up to the fact that there is a problem, and you are willing to do something about it, which are often the hardest steps of all. Also, everyone here has been in your shoes. We do understand. If you need help/moral support, please ask - we'll be there to cheer you on!
    Originally posted by CapricornLass
    You have quite a lot of work to do to balance the books although it could just about be doable if you change your habits. Otherwise you're going to have to default and suffer the consequences. If the car loan register a default on your credit file then that might damage your mortgage at renewal.
    Originally posted by cms-help
    I've already had a default notice so I assume that means it's been done already?
    • cms-help
    • By cms-help 4th Mar 18, 7:29 PM
    • 176 Posts
    • 161 Thanks
    cms-help
    I've already had a default notice so I assume that means it's been done already?
    Originally posted by lovesmakeup
    I'm not sure how companies operate in this regard but it's common sense that if they have seen fit to issue a default notice that it will be recorded on your credit file somewhere. Sign up to the free ones and see where this particular loan is recorded and then keep an eye on it for a couple of months to see if the default appears. At least you know what you're dealing with then. You may also find late payment markers, which will also limit your mortgage options.
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 4th Mar 18, 7:45 PM
    • 6,605 Posts
    • 13,839 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    Check on Noddle for free. You have sorted out the council tax so car is next.
    Debt free and mortgage free and early retiree. Living the dream

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages and Endowments, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
    • lovesmakeup
    • By lovesmakeup 4th Mar 18, 8:03 PM
    • 13 Posts
    • 11 Thanks
    lovesmakeup
    Neither car loan are on my noodle account that's odd...
    • FlowerGirl27
    • By FlowerGirl27 4th Mar 18, 8:15 PM
    • 102 Posts
    • 99 Thanks
    FlowerGirl27
    It sounds to me like getting out of debt is going to need a whole attitude change from you.

    Sorry to lay it out so bluntly, but you’re in a shitload of debt, you are not earning mega bucks, and yet you and OH want to have £850 per month pin money, because you feel that if you have to stick to a budget you are “ likely to blow all of our money”

    What money?

    I think you need to get your head out of the clouds and come down to reality with the rest us. Grow up a bit. We all had to stick to a budget while we were climbing out of debt, why do you think you don’t have to?
    • cms-help
    • By cms-help 4th Mar 18, 8:45 PM
    • 176 Posts
    • 161 Thanks
    cms-help
    Neither car loan are on my noodle account that's odd...
    Originally posted by lovesmakeup
    Different lending institutions report to different credit reference agencies. Check the others (unless the loans are so new they won't have been reported on yet.)
    • Lungboy
    • By Lungboy 5th Mar 18, 7:36 AM
    • 1,405 Posts
    • 1,346 Thanks
    Lungboy
    You have sorted out the council tax so car is next.
    Originally posted by enthusiasticsaver
    Have they though? For something that important I personally wouldn't rely on the council accepting an email telling them something might happen in the future. I'd be on the phone to them to ensure they believe the money is coming and make sure they aren't going to start collection proceedings.

    Neither car loan are on my noodle account that's odd...
    Originally posted by lovesmakeup
    There are 3 agencies and different companies report to different ones so you need to check all 3.
    • kazwookie
    • By kazwookie 5th Mar 18, 8:00 AM
    • 9,694 Posts
    • 122,393 Thanks
    kazwookie
    You are in deep trouble.

    You need to wake up as other have said, you are spending money you don't have.

    This bit troubles me:-

    Our overdraft is at £3600 so with the help of our friend we've opened two new personal accounts with a different bank and then a joint account with another bank. We won't have access to the joint account for a while, she will so that we don't transfer money to our personal accounts.

    Your friends is gonig to have access to your new bank account, what is to stop her clearing it out, once you do have money in there?

    I agree with everything others have said, eyes/ dogs/ phones/ cars/ insurances etc all need a major overhaul, and this 'other expenses' of you and your husband, need a deep deep look into, what the heck is it all for?

    Take pack up lunches.

    You need serious help, or you are going to loose your house.
    Sun, Sea
    Slinky start date 29.01.18 28 to go / -14 so far and counting!!
    • ploppy57
    • By ploppy57 5th Mar 18, 9:16 AM
    • 723 Posts
    • 4,656 Thanks
    ploppy57
    Kept thinking about you and your troubles last night. Hope you have managed to get a reasonable night's sleep and woken up with a renewed attitude to getting out of debt. Everybody has given very good advice......please heed it and don't risk loosing your house. I am not sure I would let a friend be in charge of a bank account.....
    DMP March '15 £57,549. Now £44,226. 23% paid. Went SM Feb '18 to get DF sooner.
    Emergency fund #231... £1000.
    Christmas '18 challenge... £22 /£300
    "There's a Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow, Shining at the end of every day"
    • warby68
    • By warby68 5th Mar 18, 9:33 AM
    • 958 Posts
    • 9,686 Thanks
    warby68
    I think this is one of more urgently worrying threads that has been started around here recently.

    OP, why do you need a friend to take this level of control? Its quite unusual and really its better if you get a grip on your situation yourselves. Learn to control yourselves not have someone do it for you. This is in no way a criticism of the friend who seems willing to go above and beyond to help you.

    It seems like you have used spending and 'living for today' because you've had a difficult time emotionally and whilst sympathetic to that, the solutions are really the same for everyone. If you don't take control back of your finances and behave less recklessly, the consequences are quite serious. You have let priority items go unpaid but are defensive and protective of your personal allowances which are huge - this perhaps suggest your lightbulb is not glowing as brightly as it needs to yet.

    Hope you manage to start tackling this quickly and with a clear head and whilst no answer needed, would it be better if your partner took more control for a while? Although he appears to have a fairly modest income but with quite high personal spending habits as well.

    A really urgent situation with a lot to address - the folks here are brilliant and I do hope you are fully ready to get cracking.
    • ohbumstoitall
    • By ohbumstoitall 5th Mar 18, 10:14 AM
    • 85 Posts
    • 108 Thanks
    ohbumstoitall
    I wrote a response to Flowergirl that I've deleted as I think I reacted pretty badly to it! I read it last night and I just thought....below the belt love.

    what does the banner say at the top of the DFW board?
    "Pls remember Debt-Free Wannabe's for support and help not judgement"

    I empathize with the OP, I can't quite necessarily comprehend what losing a parent to suicide can do to you - I suspect the OP is relatively young and it's obviously had a great impact. Telling someone to "Grow up" really is not on.

    I think she probably knows what she has to do but maybe we could not shoot her down like that. Otherwise she's not going to come back to the forum for help.
    Last edited by ohbumstoitall; 05-03-2018 at 12:53 PM.
    • spudsmum
    • By spudsmum 5th Mar 18, 11:53 AM
    • 245 Posts
    • 1,419 Thanks
    spudsmum
    I am sorry for what you have been through and its great that you are acknowledging there is a problem and that you cant continue like this.

    I'm fairly new to this so can only say whats worked for me up to now but I would go through every item on your SOA systematically one by one and see where you can shave off money on every item. A lot of your figures are quite high so it shouldnt be that hard to make some savings. Look hard at whether you NEED things or just WANT them - Eg I wear glasses rather than contacts as the upkeep is just too much money. I much prefer lenses but it's about priorities. Ditto haircuts etc - I have them less often or look at cheaper alternatives like local colleges or people wanting a model.

    Your personal budget looks massive but looks like your including a lot of things like petrol in there which is skewing the figures. As others have suggested a spending diary would help break this down so you would have a better ides of what is reasonable.

    I understand we are all different but there's five of us and my figures are not half of what yours are. Food is a fairly easy target to cut down - can you meal plan, shop to a list etc, shop around for offers? Loads of ideas on here.

    Speak to your OH about taking lunch rather than buying it - that could be a massive saving. A few pounds here and there really adds up (i nearly had a heart attack when I added up how much I was spending yearly on the odd Visit to the bakery - and how many hours i would have to work to fund it!)

    Lastly have a good look round for things to sell. Its amazing what people will buy on eb@y or local selling sites.

    NB I would also double check with council tax if theyve not acknowledged your e mail. I know what you're saying about using phones as I'm the same but just because you've told them what you're planning to do it doesnt necessarily mean theyve agreed if you have nothing to confirm.
    Total debts £21050! now £19834.47. 1% challenge £1015.00/£15000 (6.76%) Total extra income made in 2018 £2215.08 frugal budget 2018 £4119/£4800 Aiming for debt free at 40 - only 26 months to go!
    • Mnd
    • By Mnd 5th Mar 18, 12:14 PM
    • 544 Posts
    • 642 Thanks
    Mnd
    There is nothing I can add to the above, all points have been covered
    We live comfortably on 1200 per month (no mortgage and stuff like car insurance and house insurance paid annually)
    My wife gets 630 a month..that covers groceries and petrol, anything left is her clothes make up etc. She used to spend loads
    We nearly fainted yesterday when our grocery bill was £45 for the week and we spend £20 a month on mobiles
    TBH these are the sort of figures you are going to need to be aiming at to drag your financial situation round, and in needs to be both of you on board
    You need to be in it for the long haul
    Keep coming back here for encouragement, inspiration and best of luck to you
    Last edited by Mnd; 05-03-2018 at 12:15 PM. Reason: Auto correct
    • a_silver_lining
    • By a_silver_lining 5th Mar 18, 3:05 PM
    • 227 Posts
    • 679 Thanks
    a_silver_lining
    Have read and didn't want to leave without commenting.

    I found downloading a spending app on my mobile really helped. I put every penny I spend into it and it helps see where my money is going. I have a budget of £270pm for food, public transport travel, clothes, hair, gifts, anything really. I struggle and go over it, but it keeps me more on track.

    Counselling has helped me greatly with processing my feelings. I haven't experienced what you have, but I couldn't not suggest the option of bereavement counselling for your loss x
    Last edited by a_silver_lining; 05-03-2018 at 6:45 PM.
    19/12/14: Spent 10 years of savings!!
    ..... to buy my first home.

    2018: 1500 savings --- Family Loan (3250 direct + 2000 saver) 5250/10K paid 52.5%
    #38 1% Challenge: £514.70/ £2018, now at 25%!
    • ploppy57
    • By ploppy57 5th Mar 18, 4:45 PM
    • 723 Posts
    • 4,656 Thanks
    ploppy57
    I do hope the OP comes back and updates us with how she is going on. Hoping we haven't scared her off.
    DMP March '15 £57,549. Now £44,226. 23% paid. Went SM Feb '18 to get DF sooner.
    Emergency fund #231... £1000.
    Christmas '18 challenge... £22 /£300
    "There's a Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow, Shining at the end of every day"
    • determined new ms
    • By determined new ms 5th Mar 18, 6:44 PM
    • 6,858 Posts
    • 40,195 Thanks
    determined new ms
    Hi I just wanted to say hi and well done for starting to take the first steps. You've got some ideas about ways you can bring your expendite down. I echo what everyone has said. You really need to count every penny you spend so you can see where you can cut back. I would imagine by scrutinising your personal spends you can cut back enough to meet your living expenses.

    Food is an easy way to cut back if you are spending £420 pcm you should be able to save £150-200

    good luck
    DF as at 30/12/16
    Wombling 2017 £3016.55/Roadkill £8.73
    Wombling 2018 £145.73/RK £0.04
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