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    • bluecliocar
    • By bluecliocar 4th Mar 18, 11:58 AM
    • 16Posts
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    bluecliocar
    Executor of will or not!
    • #1
    • 4th Mar 18, 11:58 AM
    Executor of will or not! 4th Mar 18 at 11:58 AM
    Hi there, Please could anyone help. My partner first told me I wasn't an executor of his will because I had a financial interest, then he told me he couldn't remember if I was, then he said I was an executor, Including two other (men) people I have not meet. We have been partners for 16 years.
    My question is how do I know for definite if I am an excecutor or not. Do I have to sign anything to say I will be an executor. Should I ask to meet the other people. He says its not important and he want let me see his will as he says I don't need to, I should trust him. I am not bothered what he has written in his will that is his right but I need to know for definite if I am an executor or not, thanks
Page 1
    • Thrugelmir
    • By Thrugelmir 4th Mar 18, 12:11 PM
    • 58,474 Posts
    • 51,847 Thanks
    Thrugelmir
    • #2
    • 4th Mar 18, 12:11 PM
    • #2
    • 4th Mar 18, 12:11 PM
    Executors are named in a persons will. Likewise they can all be beneficiaries.

    You aren't obliged to act as an executor.

    Why the neccessity to know?
    Financial disasters happen when the last person who can remember what went wrong last time has left the building.
    • Mojisola
    • By Mojisola 4th Mar 18, 12:16 PM
    • 29,245 Posts
    • 74,707 Thanks
    Mojisola
    • #3
    • 4th Mar 18, 12:16 PM
    • #3
    • 4th Mar 18, 12:16 PM
    Hi there, Please could anyone help. My partner first told me I wasn't an executor of his will because I had a financial interest, then he told me he couldn't remember if I was, then he said I was an executor, Including two other (men) people I have not meet. We have been partners for 16 years.

    My question is how do I know for definite if I am an excecutor or not. Do I have to sign anything to say I will be an executor. Should I ask to meet the other people. He says its not important and he want let me see his will as he says I don't need to, I should trust him. I am not bothered what he has written in his will that is his right but I need to know for definite if I am an executor or not, thanks
    Originally posted by bluecliocar
    You can't find out if he won't show you the will.

    Why do you need to know? It doesn't affect you until he dies.

    If he hasn't made you an executor, you can't force him to change his mind.

    I'd make sure that your finances are as sorted as possible while you're alive so that you're not left in difficulties if he should die first. Unmarried partners don't have any automatic rights of inheritance, regardless of how long they have been a couple.

    If he's confused about whether you can be an executor because you are also a beneficiary, is this a home-made will?
    • Keep pedalling
    • By Keep pedalling 4th Mar 18, 12:19 PM
    • 4,992 Posts
    • 5,554 Thanks
    Keep pedalling
    • #4
    • 4th Mar 18, 12:19 PM
    • #4
    • 4th Mar 18, 12:19 PM
    Your partner sounds like an idiot. Executors do not have to be informed in advance, but no t to do so can cause all sorts of issues after you have gone, so it is foolish not to do so.

    Who have you appointed to do yours? If it is just your partner I would think again.
    • Robin9
    • By Robin9 4th Mar 18, 1:08 PM
    • 2,535 Posts
    • 1,642 Thanks
    Robin9
    • #5
    • 4th Mar 18, 1:08 PM
    • #5
    • 4th Mar 18, 1:08 PM
    In the event of your partner's death do you know where his will is ? Does he know where yours is?

    If this will predates your relationship its quite possible you don't even get a mention.

    This all smacks of a lack of trust and secrets.
    Never pay on an estimated bill
    • Brynsam
    • By Brynsam 4th Mar 18, 2:01 PM
    • 934 Posts
    • 606 Thanks
    Brynsam
    • #6
    • 4th Mar 18, 2:01 PM
    • #6
    • 4th Mar 18, 2:01 PM
    He's confused - or deliberately confusing things.

    You cannot be a witness to a will if you are a beneficiary.

    Executors are frequently beneficiaries. If those named as executors decline to act (and you don't have to do so, even if you are named as an executor - unless you are a professional who has agreed to do so on a contractual basis), anyone with a financial interest in the estate can apply to deal with it.

    Sounds to me as if the real question might be one of trust and openness - or more accurately the lack of it. After 16 years he isn't prepared to show you his will - has he actually made one, or is he stalling because he hasn't quite got round to it (very common) or because his idea of 'partnership' doesn't equate to your view of it?

    You need to think now about your future security and peace of mind, because that certainly isn't his priority.
    • badmemory
    • By badmemory 4th Mar 18, 6:30 PM
    • 1,612 Posts
    • 2,122 Thanks
    badmemory
    • #7
    • 4th Mar 18, 6:30 PM
    • #7
    • 4th Mar 18, 6:30 PM
    If you own a house together I would check that your name is actually on the deeds & check how it is owned. Unless he is suffering from dementia & truly can't remember then he is avoiding telling you the truth. No-one "forgets" who they have as executors any more than they forget how they have left their belongings, unless of course they are the kind of person that changes their will once a month!
    • DigForVictory
    • By DigForVictory 4th Mar 18, 7:15 PM
    • 7,698 Posts
    • 22,279 Thanks
    DigForVictory
    • #8
    • 4th Mar 18, 7:15 PM
    • #8
    • 4th Mar 18, 7:15 PM
    It doesn't matter a hoot, but if he wants his Will to be executed at all, it will help if you know where the document is.

    Given his open communicative nature, I'd enquire if he had a Power of Attorney sorted, while you're at it. Also his wishes regarding organ donation and cremation or burial, since odds on it'll be you who gets asked.

    If he freaks & scuttles off to hide in a corner, you may want to corral him with a solicitor sometime - just to protect Your Interests. As outside of matrimony or civil partnership, your legal rights are terrifyingly thin.
    • AnotherJoe
    • By AnotherJoe 4th Mar 18, 7:29 PM
    • 9,404 Posts
    • 10,391 Thanks
    AnotherJoe
    • #9
    • 4th Mar 18, 7:29 PM
    • #9
    • 4th Mar 18, 7:29 PM
    If you aren't bothered what's in the will you do NOT need "to know for definite" since you can just turn it down when the time comes (assuming as said you have any clue where the will is anyway) , it's not obligatory, you can't be forced to be one.

    Am I having deja vue or did you post this under a different user name a few months ago ?
    Last edited by AnotherJoe; 04-03-2018 at 7:56 PM.
    • Malthusian
    • By Malthusian 5th Mar 18, 12:08 PM
    • 4,095 Posts
    • 6,412 Thanks
    Malthusian
    He says its not important and he want let me see his will as he says I don't need to, I should trust him.
    Originally posted by bluecliocar
    The fact that he won't let you see the will means you can't trust him. This is not how trustworthy people behave.

    At the moment there is a strong possibility that when he dies, you will receive nothing. This can happen in three main ways: the first is that his Will is valid and leaves you nothing. The second is that it may be invalid, and his estate is distributed subject to the laws of intestacy; if you are unmarried, this means you get nothing. The third is that he got you to witness the Will and you have forgotten. Witnesses cannot be beneficiaries and any bequest to you would fail.

    If not being left anything in his Will would cause a problem (no money, thrown out of the house, etc) then you need to have a grown-up conversation with him urgently.
    • Brynsam
    • By Brynsam 5th Mar 18, 2:24 PM
    • 934 Posts
    • 606 Thanks
    Brynsam
    At the moment there is a strong possibility that when he dies, you will receive nothing. This can happen in three main ways: the first is that his Will is valid and leaves you nothing. The second is that it may be invalid, and his estate is distributed subject to the laws of intestacy; if you are unmarried, this means you get nothing. The third is that he got you to witness the Will and you have forgotten. Witnesses cannot be beneficiaries and any bequest to you would fail.
    Originally posted by Malthusian
    Wrong. It is open to surviving co-habitees to bring an inheritance claim under the the Inheritance (Provision for Family and Dependants) Act 1975. The Act empowers the courts to redistribute the deceased's estate where the Will or intestacy rules fail to make 'reasonable financial provision' for the applicant.
    • bluecliocar
    • By bluecliocar 5th Mar 18, 2:52 PM
    • 16 Posts
    • 0 Thanks
    bluecliocar
    Reply
    Thank yoy fro your reply. My main issue is trust. I want to find out if he is lying. He tells me I am a beneficiary and will be looked after. This is irrelevant to me he can do as he wishes is fit. I just want to know if been an executor I have to agree by signing to say so. I have not done so or even seen the will.He will not show me. I 100% know he has written one because he had many appointment at the solicitor and once in the pub he pointed the solicitor out to me. He has many assets may be 1 million so alot to dispose of. He also travel to Nottingham to ask a school friend to be an executor. I do not know where his will is kept pharaps at the solicitor office.
    Ps been together 16years thanks
    • Robin9
    • By Robin9 5th Mar 18, 2:58 PM
    • 2,535 Posts
    • 1,642 Thanks
    Robin9
    I just want to know if been an executor I have to agree by signing to say so. I have not done so or even seen the will.He will not show me.
    Originally posted by bluecliocar
    To confirm - you do not have to agree in writing or verbally that you are agreeable to being an executor.
    Never pay on an estimated bill
    • bluecliocar
    • By bluecliocar 5th Mar 18, 3:14 PM
    • 16 Posts
    • 0 Thanks
    bluecliocar
    Thank you for your reply, the will was produced by a solisitor he made many visits to the offices. He has many assets. The issue is trust, I am not concerned with what he has written his his will thats his concern. I just want to know for definate that I am or not an executor. He has informed the two other executors. I dont know if to believe him or not. If I find out I am not then there are many other things I will not believe too Thanks
    • bluecliocar
    • By bluecliocar 5th Mar 18, 3:19 PM
    • 16 Posts
    • 0 Thanks
    bluecliocar
    He has definitely made a will he sent many hours visiting the solicitor office. He has a lot of assetts and savings. I am not worried that is in the will although he has said I am well provided for. I just want to know for definite if I am an executor. If he is lying then there are many other things I will not believe too. How can I know for sure. I do not see the other people that are executors. thanks ps he has seen my will
    • Mojisola
    • By Mojisola 5th Mar 18, 3:30 PM
    • 29,245 Posts
    • 74,707 Thanks
    Mojisola
    I just want to know for definate that I am or not an executor.
    Originally posted by bluecliocar
    Is it because you definitely want to be an executor or that you don't want to take on the role?

    If it's because you don't want to do it, you don't have to even if you've been named in the will as an executor.

    If this isn't really about the will but about trust in general, can't you decide whether he's trustworthy from other things he has said or done?
    • Brynsam
    • By Brynsam 5th Mar 18, 4:05 PM
    • 934 Posts
    • 606 Thanks
    Brynsam
    He has definitely made a will he sent many hours visiting the solicitor office. He has a lot of assetts and savings. I am not worried that is in the will although he has said I am well provided for. I just want to know for definite if I am an executor. If he is lying then there are many other things I will not believe too. How can I know for sure. I do not see the other people that are executors. thanks ps he has seen my will
    Originally posted by bluecliocar
    You don't really need to ask, do you? You may have been together 16 years but you clearly aren't - and probably never have been - partners in the true sense of the word. You don't trust him and being or not being an executor won't change that.
    • coyrls
    • By coyrls 5th Mar 18, 4:17 PM
    • 972 Posts
    • 1,034 Thanks
    coyrls
    There is no central register of executors and there is no mechanism to find out if you are an executor other than by seeing the will or believing the answer of the person who set up the will.
    • Keep pedalling
    • By Keep pedalling 5th Mar 18, 4:36 PM
    • 4,992 Posts
    • 5,554 Thanks
    Keep pedalling
    With that size of estate if he really wanted see you were well provided for, he should be looking to marry you to minimise IHT on his estate.
    • bluecliocar
    • By bluecliocar 5th Mar 18, 5:15 PM
    • 16 Posts
    • 0 Thanks
    bluecliocar
    Thank you yes my partner has seen my will. Cos he won't show me how I have doubts that I am executive Igor. He produces the will to completely cut off his daughter from receiving anything from the will. He has not seen her since she was a child she's 35ish. I simply want to find out if he is lying.
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