Hello everyone,

New here, looking for support and advice I suppose. I haven’t spoken to anyone about the severity of my situation and I don’t think I want to, but this is the first step in opening up and pushing me to do what I need to do.
I’m a repeat offender with debts and every time I promise myself I won’t do it again, then I do. So annoyed with myself, but I’m in a really good place in terms of my income at the moment, I never dreamed I’d be paid what I am with the benefits I get as well so not all bad. Understandable got in debt at uni, paid it off within a year of graduating. Saved up and bought my first house when I was 23 with my then boyfriend (to later become husband, now ex husband) and we got into small debt then. He was a spoiled brat and didn’t understand what no meant. He wanted to best of everything on a lemonade budget. He also had a serious coke problem which over the years accumulated to over £10k in debts. We got divorced in 2015 (less than 2 years married). Despite the fact that I paid more for the deposit for our house and I consistently was paid more than him therefore contributed a lot more over the years I still agreed to go halves on the debts with him so I didn’t come out with much in then end. Started fresh with a few hiccups on the way but my finances were in control. I bought my first house alone in February last year - my parents lent me a 15% deposit which I’m slowly paying back. I took out numerous things on finance etc when I moved in, including all my furniture on 12 months interest free which has crippled me for the first year! That’s now paid so I’m trying to focus on everything else and get things sorted. I’m so annoyed with myself that I’m in this position again, I don’t know why I don’t just learn my lesson. I’ve made silly selfish and vein decisions in the past and I need to reach a turning point. Sacrifice stupid things like paying over the odds at the hairdressers because I’m too nice to say no to things I don’t need, no more acrylic nails every few weeks etc. I have so many clothes and shoes, I don’t need any more. We have a holiday booked in June which is paid for, just need about £500 for spending money and airport parking etc. With the exception of the money I owe my parents I have about £18,900 to pay on cards, finance, loan etc. Ridiculous, I know. Several are little ones less than £1000 for things like electricals for the house, home furnishings etc. I just got carried away. Moron. My mortgage term is 17 years, so 16 left, that’s a whole other story but I was told I could extend that term at any time. I currently live alone as my partner lives over 100 miles away but he is very actively looking for a job up here so he can move in. Hopefully by June at the latest. From then I’ve worked out I can pay between £1,200-£1,300 a month off my debts. My student loan will also be paid off by the end of this year so that frees up approximately £100 a month. This means I can be debt free in about 15/16 months which sounds sensible and doable, but I need support and encouragement to start living within my means and remembering that the short term sacrifice will be for a long term gain. The card which has the most in is interest free for another 30 months so I’m guessing it’s best I pay that last and Work my way down from the highest rate of interest or work out where I’m paying the highest £ a month in interest and pay that first?
This is where I am currently:
Loan 1: £7,000 / £180 a month
Loan 2: £2000 / £70 a month
Loan 3: £810 / £33 a month
Loan 4: £880 / £23 a month
Card 1: £1900 / £25 a month
Card 2: £5000 / £60 a month
Next Directory: £1,300 / £75 a month

I’ve been paying the minimum payments on my cards by DD then extra if I could later in the month, from next month those payments will increase.

I’m really keen to learn about coupons if anyone has any tips for savings on grocery shopping. In the past I’ve had my shopping delivered, i always thought it was cheaper because I can keep a check on what I’m spending and don’t get tempted. I make my lunch for work every day and I often work from home 1 or 2 days a week. I follow a pretty clean diet and plan all my meals so I know I could make my food shops much more cost effective that way too. Currently budget £160-250 a month (depending on other bills) and I don’t want that to increase with my boyfriend moves in really as water, gas (I’m on calor gas to which has pros and cons!), electric and council tax are all going to increase when he’s moves up. Council tax will go up about £30, electric probably £10-15 a month, currently with gas if I average it out it’s about a canister a month which is £57 so probably a canister and a half a month when he moves in.

So that’s everything in a nutshell. I’m currently signed off from work following an operation last week until next Friday so next week I’m going to be making calls and planning out my new budget.