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  • FIRST POST
    • Poor_Single_lady
    • By Poor_Single_lady 22nd Feb 18, 5:58 PM
    • 1,452Posts
    • 5,630Thanks
    Poor_Single_lady
    Poor Single Lady Debt Diary - Trying again
    • #1
    • 22nd Feb 18, 5:58 PM
    Poor Single Lady Debt Diary - Trying again 22nd Feb 18 at 5:58 PM
    Hello All.
    Things are changing and moving forward and so I feel it's time for a new debt diary.

    I've recently made a lot of changes and hoping to maintain these but there are also some things that need some serious work.

    Unavoidable's
    490 mortgage
    100 council
    140 management fee
    12 TV licence
    40 electric
    20 water
    25 Charity Donation (yes I know)
    13 Lovefilm
    20 eyebrows
    47 phone and home internet
    48 entertainment direct debit
    Tbc overdraft charge if applicable
    IRO 960

    There are a few credit cards on top of these.
    Working on these. I have the totals written down.

    Everything has been reduced and restricted.
    I have changed my diet and drinking less.

    Less clothes and make up and restricting impulse purchasing.

    Less social but still some.
    Ditching toxic problematic friendships. And possibly being a bit more selfish.

    Going on holiday with my parents in June. The are paying for me initially and I will pay them back but haven't been away for years and really looking forward to it.

    This will be boring but having a diary helps me manage things.
    Trying to keep it positive where possible. xxx
    2017- 5 credit cards plus loan
    Overdraft And 1 credit card paid off.

    2018 plans - reduce debt
Page 9
    • Dolly Rocker
    • By Dolly Rocker 9th Sep 18, 12:01 PM
    • 4,072 Posts
    • 11,696 Thanks
    Dolly Rocker
    It's hard isn't it.

    Turning into a bit of a recluse myself between the debt free and the being newly single.

    We will get there in the end, just keep the focus.

    Dxxx
    Debt Free in 2018 12364.09/12754.09
    Goal Weight in 2019 29lbs/91lbs
    SPC#13

    12th November 2018 - I have 2 Nationwide Referrals available, PM me if you want 100 to switch accounts
    • Poor_Single_lady
    • By Poor_Single_lady 13th Sep 18, 6:25 AM
    • 1,452 Posts
    • 5,630 Thanks
    Poor_Single_lady
    It is hard Dolly. Yesterday had a very depressing conversation with Sainsbury. They told me I should ring Stepchange for help with budgeting and they don't want to deal with me directly.
    My account is on hold because something could change in the next 2 months. Er it bloody won't!
    They were definately the worse to deal with - the lady said to me that i can make our minimum payment and I just felt like hanging up the call. I don't think she understood. They are not getting more than the 25 anyway.
    A bit annoyed with them to be honest.
    2017- 5 credit cards plus loan
    Overdraft And 1 credit card paid off.

    2018 plans - reduce debt
    • efes shareholder
    • By efes shareholder 13th Sep 18, 10:14 AM
    • 358 Posts
    • 975 Thanks
    efes shareholder
    Hi PSL

    As a poor single lady I feel your pain

    I feel fortunate to have a large circle of friends and social options open to me but I have had to learn to be more selective on which events I attend

    They all know I am trying to improve my financial situation , some are in similar circumstances yet seem to have a different attitude to their debts
    • doingitanyway
    • By doingitanyway 13th Sep 18, 10:15 AM
    • 3,510 Posts
    • 19,384 Thanks
    doingitanyway
    Keep fighting on you will get there
    Emergency fund 1060/1000
    NSD November 5/30
    • Cumbria lass
    • By Cumbria lass 14th Sep 18, 8:18 AM
    • 2,386 Posts
    • 14,692 Thanks
    Cumbria lass
    PSL have you sorted all the CC's now or are you still working through them ? Not nice of Sainsbury's if they gave you a hard time.

    Down in London myself in 2 weeks , hope you are ok otherwise .
    CC1 3500 Nov 2018.
    • StokieBecks
    • By StokieBecks 14th Sep 18, 9:55 AM
    • 4,621 Posts
    • 28,111 Thanks
    StokieBecks
    PSL to be fair to Sainsburys call centre staff they aren't trained debt advisors and they are only recommending what they are told to. A lot of folks on the forum always say to keep any dealings with anyone in writing. Would say having collections on hold for two months is generous. Most will offer 30days and expect you to contact a debt charity in that time for advice.

    Have you spoke to stepchange or national debtline at all? Have you arranged a formal debt management plan (i think I remember you saying you were thinking DMP was the way forward now) or are you doing it on your own?

    Make sure your priority bills are dealt with first. Anything that is on a credit card is a non priority debt. If you can only afford to send them 1 per month each for the time being whilst you build up an emergency fund then do it.

    Good luck. If you really want to get this dealt with you can do it! Speak to the free charities - they will help you explore all your options
    • Poor_Single_lady
    • By Poor_Single_lady 14th Sep 18, 6:23 PM
    • 1,452 Posts
    • 5,630 Thanks
    Poor_Single_lady
    StokeBecks I always feel like my debt diary irritates you. I need an outlet so I can work through this without going truly mad.

    contacting a debt charity is not going to help or fix the situation. And to he honest I just don't want to and that is up to me.

    you always say that you wish me the best but then you tell me off and to be honest i don't really understand that.

    I'm trying to work through as best I can and yes you might be right and Sainsbury but it doesn't really help me that the people in their call centre are tough to deal with.
    And yes I did request not to be phoned but they did anyway.
    2017- 5 credit cards plus loan
    Overdraft And 1 credit card paid off.

    2018 plans - reduce debt
    • LexieLou
    • By LexieLou 15th Sep 18, 12:06 AM
    • 638 Posts
    • 1,093 Thanks
    LexieLou
    StokeBecks I always feel like my debt diary irritates you. I need an outlet so I can work through this without going truly mad.

    contacting a debt charity is not going to help or fix the situation. And to he honest I just don't want to and that is up to me.

    you always say that you wish me the best but then you tell me off and to be honest i don't really understand that.

    I'm trying to work through as best I can and yes you might be right and Sainsbury but it doesn't really help me that the people in their call centre are tough to deal with.
    And yes I did request not to be phoned but they did anyway.
    Originally posted by Poor_Single_lady
    Hello PSL

    Rant away girl...I know you don't want to call SC, but even call them and put together a budget, then do your own thing. They get you to think of things that you might feel guilty about including in your budget

    I contacted all my creditors in May and I am still getting letters and calls. Block the numbers...let them go to voice mail, they are all automated. SC have told me today that the letters and calls are automated, and to ignore them.

    I find this forum amazing, and the DMP thread is superb, they have talked me off the edge so many times.

    You are doing ace, and we are all behind you

    Sending you lots of virtual hugs

    Mwah

    LL xx
    Sept 10 a day 150 / 300, 50% Oct 10 a day / 300 0%
    1% Challenge #53
    7.54 in sealed pot 10.05.18
    Tesco Vouchers 30.50
    EF #2 used, back to zero. EF #1 still in progress
    • doingitanyway
    • By doingitanyway 15th Sep 18, 7:23 PM
    • 3,510 Posts
    • 19,384 Thanks
    doingitanyway

    You are doing ace, and we are all behind you

    Sending you lots of virtual hugs

    Mwah

    LL xx
    Originally posted by LexieLou
    I agree with LexieLou
    Emergency fund 1060/1000
    NSD November 5/30
    • StokieBecks
    • By StokieBecks 17th Sep 18, 6:47 AM
    • 4,621 Posts
    • 28,111 Thanks
    StokieBecks
    StokeBecks I always feel like my debt diary irritates you. I need an outlet so I can work through this without going truly mad.

    contacting a debt charity is not going to help or fix the situation. And to he honest I just don't want to and that is up to me.

    you always say that you wish me the best but then you tell me off and to be honest i don't really understand that.

    I'm trying to work through as best I can and yes you might be right and Sainsbury but it doesn't really help me that the people in their call centre are tough to deal with.
    And yes I did request not to be phoned but they did anyway.
    Originally posted by Poor_Single_lady
    I don't understand why you feel it isn't going to fix the situation. They can offer you the advice you need to help you get this journey going the right way.

    All I do is offer my advice the same as anyone else.

    Don't take the phone calls, make all your instructions in writing. Write to them and ask them to remove your phone number. They have to comply, if they don't you can make a formal complaint.


    I do wish you well but as you feel I tell you off I won't post here again as it is not my intention to frustrate you further.
    • ramhainn
    • By ramhainn 17th Sep 18, 8:42 AM
    • 12 Posts
    • 19 Thanks
    ramhainn
    Hello and welcome

    Good luck with your journey!
    • Poor_Single_lady
    • By Poor_Single_lady 17th Sep 18, 3:34 PM
    • 1,452 Posts
    • 5,630 Thanks
    Poor_Single_lady
    It's not the knowing what I should do that I struggle with it's the actual practicalities of living on very little money.

    It's like a diet, obviously you shouldn't have chocolate for breakfast but if you're used to doing that then you will find it hard not to.

    If it was as easy as it looks on paper then none of us would be here. But it is massively hard.
    2017- 5 credit cards plus loan
    Overdraft And 1 credit card paid off.

    2018 plans - reduce debt
    • KxMx
    • By KxMx 18th Sep 18, 10:15 AM
    • 7,485 Posts
    • 10,867 Thanks
    KxMx
    A Debt charity can help with budgeting advice and the balance between spending and repaying debts.

    You could end up with more money available for lifestyle.

    You never know unless you try.
    • DMP_Tiger
    • By DMP_Tiger 18th Sep 18, 10:49 AM
    • 176 Posts
    • 525 Thanks
    DMP_Tiger
    It's not the knowing what I should do that I struggle with it's the actual practicalities of living on very little money.

    If it was as easy as it looks on paper then none of us would be here. But it is massively hard.
    Originally posted by Poor_Single_lady
    Yes it is hard. But with a Debt Management Plan, you don't have to live on very little money. You take your income, deduct your expenses and what you have left goes to your creditors.

    But your expenses don't have to be the bare minimum, you include an allowance for fun stuff plus you can exaggerate your necessities to give you more fun money. For example if you spend 100 per month on petrol, you put down 150 per month. Your creditors know where you live but they don't know where you work.

    You can also add vet fees even if you don't have a pet, tobacco even if you don't smoke and anything else you can think of. The Stepchange calculator has all sorts of categories that you can fill in creatively.....

    It will take longer to pay off your debts by doing that, but you will be able to have more of a life.
    August 2018: Secured Debt 70,003 Unsecured Debt (DMP) 34,657 Total 104,660 DFD: March 2031
    November 2018: Secured Debt 68,966 Unsecured Debt (DMP) 34,601 Total 103,567 DFD: March 2031
    • Poor_Single_lady
    • By Poor_Single_lady 18th Sep 18, 12:42 PM
    • 1,452 Posts
    • 5,630 Thanks
    Poor_Single_lady
    I don't think this is helping me. I am exhausted and I'm out.
    2017- 5 credit cards plus loan
    Overdraft And 1 credit card paid off.

    2018 plans - reduce debt
    • Dolly Rocker
    • By Dolly Rocker 18th Sep 18, 1:11 PM
    • 4,072 Posts
    • 11,696 Thanks
    Dolly Rocker
    Sent you a wee PM.

    Dxxx
    Debt Free in 2018 12364.09/12754.09
    Goal Weight in 2019 29lbs/91lbs
    SPC#13

    12th November 2018 - I have 2 Nationwide Referrals available, PM me if you want 100 to switch accounts
    • Poor_Single_lady
    • By Poor_Single_lady 20th Sep 18, 1:17 AM
    • 1,452 Posts
    • 5,630 Thanks
    Poor_Single_lady
    Can we all please remember a debt diary is an outlet. There are people in the U.K. Myself included Who have loads of friends but nobody to talk to about the debt. And these people do drastic things when it gets too much so maybe we should be a bit more Supportive rather than judgemental.

    If i says on my debt diary that I don't want to phone stepchange it's quite undermiming to then get responses saying I could/should. Yes of course I can I've got a phone but I've made a decision that I don't want to and I think that should be respected rather than argued with.

    I think people should be allowed to say that it is hard living on reduced money without being told how a DMP works when they are already on one.

    I think really if you want to be argumentative and dress it up as help you should just keep it to yourself.

    There has to be room for everyone to do things their own way. And to be allowed to complain and speak your mind - on your own debt diary. I sometimes feel like although this is an outlet unless you are being positive about everything then you're not very welcome.
    2017- 5 credit cards plus loan
    Overdraft And 1 credit card paid off.

    2018 plans - reduce debt
    • Cumbria lass
    • By Cumbria lass 20th Sep 18, 2:35 AM
    • 2,386 Posts
    • 14,692 Thanks
    Cumbria lass
    Can we all please remember a debt diary is an outlet. There are people in the U.K. Myself included Who have loads of friends but nobody to talk to about the debt. And these people do drastic things when it gets too much so maybe we should be a bit more Supportive rather than judgemental.

    If i says on my debt diary that I don't want to phone stepchange it's quite undermiming to then get responses saying I could/should. Yes of course I can I've got a phone but I've made a decision that I don't want to and I think that should be respected rather than argued with.

    I think people should be allowed to say that it is hard living on reduced money without being told how a DMP works when they are already on one.

    I think really if you want to be argumentative and dress it up as help you should just keep it to yourself.

    There has to be room for everyone to do things their own way. And to be allowed to complain and speak your mind - on your own debt diary. I sometimes feel like although this is an outlet unless you are being positive about everything then you're not very welcome.
    Originally posted by Poor_Single_lady
    I think the thing is sometimes people who comment haven't necessarily read all your diary or your previous one, so only comment on want they see recently. I have followed you for a while and know you have posted elsewhere about DMP set up.

    Anyway that said you have to deal with your debt your way , no one size fits all . This is your diary and you can say what you want on it.

    I do wish though that you had someone to speak to outside of this thread to speak to who could offer you some support, but then saying that I don't talk about my debt to any of my friends either so I am the same in that respect.

    Always here to cheer you on or offer support , keep posting , one day we will cheer you over the finishing line.

    I better try to go to sleep again now.
    CC1 3500 Nov 2018.
    • DMP_Tiger
    • By DMP_Tiger 20th Sep 18, 9:09 AM
    • 176 Posts
    • 525 Thanks
    DMP_Tiger
    I think the thing is sometimes people who comment haven't necessarily read all your diary or your previous one, so only comment on want they see recently. I have followed you for a while and know you have posted elsewhere about DMP set up.
    Originally posted by Cumbria lass
    This is spot on. We are all dealing with our own debts and reading several diaries so it's impossible to have your whole situation in our heads when we are commenting.

    We are all in debt and are therefore sympathetic/empathetic to your situation and although we don't actually know you personally, we all care about you. When your posts have a sad/miserable/frustrated undertone, it makes us sad for you and we want to help so we try to give you advice based on our own experiences. Sometimes it might be rubbish advice but sometimes there might be stuff that you hadn't thought of and can take on board.

    One thing I can assure you though is that we have all made a mess of our finances and nobody will judge you.

    Much love, Tiger x
    August 2018: Secured Debt 70,003 Unsecured Debt (DMP) 34,657 Total 104,660 DFD: March 2031
    November 2018: Secured Debt 68,966 Unsecured Debt (DMP) 34,601 Total 103,567 DFD: March 2031
    • KxMx
    • By KxMx 20th Sep 18, 7:05 PM
    • 7,485 Posts
    • 10,867 Thanks
    KxMx
    My last post was triggered by what happened with a friend.

    She confided in me that her debts were keeping her awake at night, so I suggested she contact one of the debt charities.

    Her immediate response was that she couldn't live without credit cards. Due to her irregular pay pattern not meeting up with bill due dates.

    She is a professional, intelligent lady working at the top of a very competitive
    profession. She honestly thought that was what a debt charity would say.

    I do get the message however that such posts are not welcomed by you. I'm honestly sorry I couldn't help.
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