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    • Samyusuf
    • By Samyusuf 19th Feb 18, 10:30 PM
    • 6Posts
    • 2Thanks
    She doesn't want to sell the flat!
    • #1
    • 19th Feb 18, 10:30 PM
    She doesn't want to sell the flat! 19th Feb 18 at 10:30 PM
    Hello to you all,

    I have been contemplating ending my marriage for a good few weeks now as I'm convinced that we just weren't meant to be.

    Unfortunately, this past week things have been very bad between us and I'm now 100 percent sure that I want to end this marriage once and for all. I honestly cannot believe I'm even typing this as the very thought of not seeing my daughter every day makes me weak in the knees.

    To give you a bit of background, my wife and I have been married for 3 years and we have a daughter who is almost two years old.

    I say married, we are not married according to UK law but have had an Islamic Nikah so in the eyes of Islam we're married, but I don't believe an Islamic marriage is recognised in the UK, unless things have changed recently.

    We always agreed to have our marriage registered in the UK but never really found the time to get around to it as she fell pregnant shortly after we got married, and we moved around between properties quite a bit so life was hectic.

    Without going into too much detail, my wife and I simply do not get along and haven't done so pretty much since the marriage begun, but we stood by each other for the sake of our daughter, at least I did.

    Now we argue and fight more than ever before, and the relationship has become very toxic, we both pretty much hate each other. The worst part of it is that my poor daughter is stuck in the middle and it tears me apart every time I look at her whenever we argue.

    I spoke to my wife last weekend and explained that I want a divorce as I'm very unhappy in this so-called marriage and worried about the damage it's doing to our little girl. She outright refused and asked if I've gone mad.

    I told her that I wanted to sell our flat and split it in the middle and that I'd continue to support her and our daughter, but she's just not having it and is in denial about our problems. We do not even sleep in the same bed and haven't done so for many months now on and off.

    I would really appreciate some guidance on how I move forward with separating from my wife as we are not officially married.

    Also, I'm not sure what will happen to our flat which was purchased by both of us on a joint mortgage two years ago. I'm not sure how much equity there is in the property if any at all, but I expect she will not want to give me my share of the flat out of spite. I have been paying all of the mortgage repayments since the beginning and also paid the majority of the deposit.

    Could this end up in court? If it does then I guess the court will most definitely side with my wife and allow her to keep the flat?

    I'm willing to offer her a 50/50 settlement if she agrees to sell the flat (I paid 55k deposit and she paid 35k), and I will continue to support her and my daughter however I can going forward. I genuinely do not want to see her go through hardship as that will only affect my daughter, so I am trying to be fair as possible. Although I don't love her, I still care for her very much.

    My family, especially my mother, are extremely angry at me for wanting to end this marriage, but what nobody seems to understand is that my daughter means the world to me and for me to come to this decision just tells you how miserable I am, and this isn't helping my daughter in the slightest.

    Please kindly advise or point me in the right direction.

    Thank you
Page 2
    • badmemory
    • By badmemory 5th Apr 18, 5:37 PM
    • 2,429 Posts
    • 3,740 Thanks
    I suspect that the OPs biggest problem is going to turn out to be the fact that both their families & I expect the mother of his child do consider them to be married.
    • Samyusuf
    • By Samyusuf 17th Apr 18, 11:45 PM
    • 6 Posts
    • 2 Thanks
    Thank you all kindly for your thoughts on this matter. I am making some progress and will be sure to update the thread in the weeks ahead so that it may benefit others in a similar predicament.
    • Samyusuf
    • By Samyusuf 19th Apr 18, 10:49 PM
    • 6 Posts
    • 2 Thanks
    No progress I'm afraid and back to square one. She's just not playing ball.

    I have sought the advice of a solicitor and his response filled me with little hope that the courts would allow a force of sale considering my daughter.

    So instead of filling solicitors pockets with thousands of pounds for no gain I've decided to stop paying the mortgage and have now taken my name off all bills and won't pay a penny towards anything to do with the property.

    I'm currently living with my friend.

    I know this will destroy my credit history (and hers) and the flat will eventually be repossessed and sold by the mortgage lender but I really don't care anymore.

    If she wants to act ignorant and go out of her way to make my life difficult and miserable then I'm not going to take it lying down.

    Of course I hope she does come to her senses and agrees to go to mediation. At least that way we get something instead of having the flat repossessed.

    I even told her that if we sell the flat I would help her find a flat to rent and would give her money towards the rent as well as the child maintenance, and would always buy my daughter whatever she needs separate from the child maintenance.

    I just can't believe my luck.
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