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  • FIRST POST
    • marcus ohreallius
    • By marcus ohreallius 17th Feb 18, 1:34 PM
    • 257Posts
    • 528Thanks
    marcus ohreallius
    Limerick thread
    • #1
    • 17th Feb 18, 1:34 PM
    Limerick thread 17th Feb 18 at 1:34 PM
    How about one person creates the first two lines of a limerick and the next person completes the limerick by adding the remaining 3 lines? (They then make up the first two lines of the next limerick and so on..)

    Here's one, to get the ball rolling:


    There once was a man called Rob
    Who liked to eat corn on the cob


    ... over to you!
Page 9
    • FormulaDriven
    • By FormulaDriven 8th Mar 18, 10:29 PM
    • 103 Posts
    • 73 Thanks
    FormulaDriven
    A Muse was reciting a pome
    About Kubla Khan's great Pleasure Dome,
    He said, "this makes no sense,
    If you pay me five pence,
    I've got some much better verse back at home!"

    This poet had a new verse to write
    'Bout a Mariner who had a great fright

    Fun fact: I was a student at the same college as this poet. (Although obviously Coleridge didn't quite overlap with my time there :-) )
    • marcus ohreallius
    • By marcus ohreallius 9th Mar 18, 9:40 AM
    • 257 Posts
    • 528 Thanks
    marcus ohreallius
    This poet had a new verse to write
    'Bout a Mariner who had a great fright
    Originally posted by FormulaDriven
    To the ship he did gaze
    and the deck was ablaze
    And he wondered who set it alight




    A rather rude boy from Nepal
    Wrote the following words on the wall


    (let's see where we go with this one .. )
    • FormulaDriven
    • By FormulaDriven 9th Mar 18, 10:32 AM
    • 103 Posts
    • 73 Thanks
    FormulaDriven
    A rather rude boy from Nepal
    Wrote the following words on the wall:
    First, "Bandar Ko Chaak"
    But then he thought "F---"
    "For a good time, this number please call"


    A prudish old man from Dubai
    Saw the graffiti and started to cry
    • Sleazy
    • By Sleazy 9th Mar 18, 1:17 PM
    • 8,575 Posts
    • 14,065 Thanks
    Sleazy
    A rather rude boy from Nepal
    Wrote the following words on the wall:
    First, "Bandar Ko Chaak"
    But then he thought "F---"
    "For a good time, this number please call"


    A prudish old man from Dubai
    Saw the graffiti and started to cry
    Originally posted by FormulaDriven
    Now his number was known,
    His cover was blown,
    And he wanted to lie down and die.


    As he lay there on the bed,
    He heard a voice inside his head
    Last edited by Sleazy; 09-03-2018 at 1:29 PM.
    Sleazy
    In Vino Veritas, In Aqua Sanitas
    • tommix
    • By tommix 9th Mar 18, 1:50 PM
    • 36,481 Posts
    • 145,171 Thanks
    tommix
    Now his number was known,
    His cover was blown,
    And he wanted to lie down and die.


    As he lay there on the bed,
    He heard a voice inside his head
    Originally posted by Sleazy
    ...say, I must write a limerick today.

    There was a young man from Khartoum..
    • Pyxis
    • By Pyxis 9th Mar 18, 2:18 PM
    • 34,917 Posts
    • 129,665 Thanks
    Pyxis
    ...say, I must write a limerick today.

    There was a young man from Khartoum..
    Originally posted by tommix
    I refer you to post #1 for the rules!
    (I just lurve spiders! )
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom
    Founder Member: WIMPS ANONYMOUS
    • Pyxis
    • By Pyxis 9th Mar 18, 2:26 PM
    • 34,917 Posts
    • 129,665 Thanks
    Pyxis

    As he lay there on the bed,
    He heard a voice inside his head
    Originally posted by Sleazy
    Waking him from his slumbers -
    It mentioned some numbers,
    "To put on the Lott'ry", it said.




    So he did, and the numbers were winners!
    The shock sent him into a spin. As
    (I just lurve spiders! )
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom
    Founder Member: WIMPS ANONYMOUS
    • marcus ohreallius
    • By marcus ohreallius 9th Mar 18, 2:38 PM
    • 257 Posts
    • 528 Thanks
    marcus ohreallius
    So he did, and the numbers were winners!
    The shock sent him into a spin. As
    Originally posted by Pyxis
    some 'friends' then appeared
    just as he had feared
    in fact more than you've had hot dinners



    A naughty young monk from the priory
    Wrote the following words in his diary
    • Pyxis
    • By Pyxis 9th Mar 18, 2:54 PM
    • 34,917 Posts
    • 129,665 Thanks
    Pyxis



    A naughty young monk from the priory
    Wrote the following words in his diary
    Originally posted by marcus ohreallius
    "I popped over the wall,
    And paid a quick call
    To that dairy-maid ever so fiery!"



    "She was turning the butter churn.
    When she saw me, her cheeks 'gan to burn........
    (I just lurve spiders! )
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom
    Founder Member: WIMPS ANONYMOUS
    • libra10
    • By libra10 9th Mar 18, 4:25 PM
    • 10,028 Posts
    • 197,853 Thanks
    libra10
    She was turning the butter churn.
    When she saw me, her cheeks 'gan to burn........
    Oh, 'dash it!' she said
    I'll have to use spread
    And her churn she continued to turn.










    Young Hamish McDonald was full of guilt
    when he discovered that he'd lost his kilt!
    • pollypenny
    • By pollypenny 9th Mar 18, 8:39 PM
    • 23,921 Posts
    • 62,334 Thanks
    pollypenny
    She was turning the butter churn.
    When she saw me, her cheeks 'gan to burn........
    Oh, 'dash it!' she said
    I'll have to use spread
    And her churn she continued to turn.










    Young Hamish McDonald was full of guilt
    when he discovered that he'd lost his kilt!
    Originally posted by libra10
    Round his knees the wind blew
    So He feared the flu
    And wrapped himself up in a quilt.



    A clever old woman from York
    On rhubarb was invited to talk
    Member #14 of SKI-ers club

    Words, words, they're all we have to go by!.

    (Pity they are mangled by this autocorrect!)
    • Jackmydad
    • By Jackmydad 9th Mar 18, 8:45 PM
    • 2,486 Posts
    • 7,426 Thanks
    Jackmydad
    Round his knees the wind blew
    So He feared the flu
    And wrapped himself up in a quilt.



    A clever old woman from York
    On rhubarb was invited to talk
    Originally posted by pollypenny
    She quipped "Don't add custard"
    "Like me eat with mustard"
    And replace all the rhubarb with pork.

    A rather strange gannet from Wales
    Ate his fish minus heads fins or tails
    "Luck happens where hard work meets opportunity"
    • Sleazy
    • By Sleazy 9th Mar 18, 8:51 PM
    • 8,575 Posts
    • 14,065 Thanks
    Sleazy
    She quipped "Don't add custard"
    "Like me eat with mustard"
    And replace all the rhubarb with pork.

    A rather strange gannet from Wales
    Ate his fish minus heads fins or tails
    Originally posted by Jackmydad
    They went down his gizzard
    Just like a lizard,
    His method for sure never fails!


    The woman got into her bath
    And thought it was quite a laugh
    Sleazy
    In Vino Veritas, In Aqua Sanitas
    • Jackmydad
    • By Jackmydad 9th Mar 18, 8:56 PM
    • 2,486 Posts
    • 7,426 Thanks
    Jackmydad

    The woman got into her bath
    And thought it was quite a laugh
    Originally posted by Sleazy
    She ate crisps salt and vinegar
    She thought they'd be thinning 'er
    And a bottle of beer which to quaff.

    An old boiler fitter called Fred
    Was quite black from his toes to his head
    "Luck happens where hard work meets opportunity"
    • Sleazy
    • By Sleazy 9th Mar 18, 9:04 PM
    • 8,575 Posts
    • 14,065 Thanks
    Sleazy
    She ate crisps salt and vinegar
    She thought they'd be thinning 'er
    And a bottle of beer which to quaff.

    An old boiler fitter called Fred
    Was quite black from his toes to his head
    Originally posted by Jackmydad
    But 'twas the smoke
    That caused him to choke
    And thus he ended up dead!


    A sweep by the name of Sooty
    Used to enjoy his footy
    Sleazy
    In Vino Veritas, In Aqua Sanitas
    • Jackmydad
    • By Jackmydad 9th Mar 18, 9:12 PM
    • 2,486 Posts
    • 7,426 Thanks
    Jackmydad
    A sweep by the name of Sooty
    Used to enjoy his footy
    Originally posted by Sleazy
    While cleaning out chimerneys
    He'd play ball with his feet 'n knees
    While eating a pickled egg butty.

    An otter who lived on the Ouse
    Knew just how to change a plug fuse
    "Luck happens where hard work meets opportunity"
    • Sleazy
    • By Sleazy 9th Mar 18, 9:20 PM
    • 8,575 Posts
    • 14,065 Thanks
    Sleazy
    While cleaning out chimerneys
    He'd play ball with his feet 'n knees
    While eating a pickled egg butty.

    An otter who lived on the Ouse
    Knew just how to change a plug fuse
    Originally posted by Jackmydad
    He was thought a bright spark
    Until all town went dark
    When the instructions he didn't peruse



    There was a young man from Hants
    Who thought that this thread was pants
    Sleazy
    In Vino Veritas, In Aqua Sanitas
    • Jackmydad
    • By Jackmydad 9th Mar 18, 9:27 PM
    • 2,486 Posts
    • 7,426 Thanks
    Jackmydad
    There was a young man from Hants
    Who thought that this thread was pants
    Originally posted by Sleazy
    His mind was not clear
    'Cos of strange cigs and beer
    He thought we were all elephants.

    A pink and green rhino called Keith
    Had continual pain with his teeth
    "Luck happens where hard work meets opportunity"
    • marcus ohreallius
    • By marcus ohreallius 10th Mar 18, 12:11 PM
    • 257 Posts
    • 528 Thanks
    marcus ohreallius
    A pink and green rhino called Keith
    Had continual pain with his teeth
    Originally posted by Jackmydad
    he chewed on some gum
    and fell on his bum
    and now he's got pain underneath





    A hairy young woman called Mary
    Did a stint milking cows at the dairy
    • libra10
    • By libra10 10th Mar 18, 4:31 PM
    • 10,028 Posts
    • 197,853 Thanks
    libra10
    A hairy young woman called Mary
    Did a stint milking cows at the dairy
    She gave an involuntary shudder
    when she felt for the cow's udder
    and discovered a yellow canary!








    Young Tom, a computer technician
    was forever dreaming and wishin'
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