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  • FIRST POST
    • marcus ohreallius
    • By marcus ohreallius 17th Feb 18, 1:34 PM
    • 257Posts
    • 528Thanks
    marcus ohreallius
    Limerick thread
    • #1
    • 17th Feb 18, 1:34 PM
    Limerick thread 17th Feb 18 at 1:34 PM
    How about one person creates the first two lines of a limerick and the next person completes the limerick by adding the remaining 3 lines? (They then make up the first two lines of the next limerick and so on..)

    Here's one, to get the ball rolling:


    There once was a man called Rob
    Who liked to eat corn on the cob


    ... over to you!
Page 7
    • Jackmydad
    • By Jackmydad 3rd Mar 18, 6:52 PM
    • 2,480 Posts
    • 7,404 Thanks
    Jackmydad
    And a pit full of cess!
    They'd be in such a mess!
    And be making a hell of a clamour!

    Old Nick would come by with his Fork,
    And then he'd produce a large cork,
    Originally posted by Pyxis
    As large as a mall
    Or a room for a ball
    It might just stop that spammer's talk!

    The wonderful thing about Spam
    Is it's tasty with cheese or with jam
    "Luck happens where hard work meets opportunity"
    • Sleazy
    • By Sleazy 3rd Mar 18, 6:58 PM
    • 8,542 Posts
    • 13,948 Thanks
    Sleazy
    As large as a mall
    Or a room for a ball
    It might just stop that spammer's talk!

    The wonderful thing about Spam
    Is it's tasty with cheese or with jam
    Originally posted by Jackmydad
    But if you don't eat meat
    Just put the jam on your feet
    You'll find that it's just like Edam!



    I heard the Bishop's daughter
    Ask for some fizzy water
    Sleazy
    In Vino Veritas, In Aqua Sanitas
    • Jackmydad
    • By Jackmydad 3rd Mar 18, 7:11 PM
    • 2,480 Posts
    • 7,404 Thanks
    Jackmydad
    But if you don't eat meat
    Just put the jam on your feet
    You'll find that it's just like Edam!


    I heard the Bishop's daughter
    Ask for some fizzy water
    Originally posted by Sleazy
    Twas a code for champagne
    Which she now and again
    Drinks far more than she really had oughter!

    The sermon it dragged on 'til dinner
    Telling all there "Don't be a bad sinner"
    "Luck happens where hard work meets opportunity"
    • libra10
    • By libra10 4th Mar 18, 6:19 PM
    • 10,023 Posts
    • 197,787 Thanks
    libra10
    The sermon it dragged on 'til dinner
    Telling all there "Don't be a bad sinner"
    Rosie, sat in the back pew
    scratched her scratchcard numbers through,
    and discovered that she was a winner!






    Young Harry while out riding his horse
    discovered that he was right off course
    • Pyxis
    • By Pyxis 4th Mar 18, 10:20 PM
    • 34,866 Posts
    • 129,478 Thanks
    Pyxis

    Young Harry, while riding his horse,
    Discovered he was right off course;
    Originally posted by libra10
    It had got rather hot,
    The Thames this was not,
    For, like Stanley, he'd found the Nile source!






    While in a canoe up the Nile,
    Little Pete saw a large crocodile,
    (I just lurve spiders! )
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom
    Founder Member: WIMPS ANONYMOUS
    • pollypenny
    • By pollypenny 5th Mar 18, 8:20 AM
    • 23,921 Posts
    • 62,334 Thanks
    pollypenny
    It had got rather hot,
    The Thames this was not,
    For, like Stanley, he'd found the Nile source!






    While in a canoe up the Nile,
    Little Pete saw a large crocodile,
    Originally posted by Pyxis


    He looked very glum
    Remembering his mum
    Crocodiles don!!!8217;t really smile!



    He wandered around Duty Free
    Seeking a present for me
    Last edited by pollypenny; 05-03-2018 at 9:34 AM.
    Member #14 of SKI-ers club

    Words, words, they're all we have to go by!.

    (Pity they are mangled by this autocorrect!)
    • Pyxis
    • By Pyxis 5th Mar 18, 8:39 AM
    • 34,866 Posts
    • 129,478 Thanks
    Pyxis



    He wandered around Duty Free
    Seeking a present for me
    Originally posted by pollypenny
    But he passed by the booze,
    And the perfume, and shoes,
    And then bought me a packet of TEA!



    Some guys simply don't have a clue,
    And they don't seem to think it right through,
    (I just lurve spiders! )
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom
    Founder Member: WIMPS ANONYMOUS
    • Sleazy
    • By Sleazy 5th Mar 18, 10:03 AM
    • 8,542 Posts
    • 13,948 Thanks
    Sleazy
    But he passed by the booze,
    And the perfume, and shoes,
    And then bought me a packet of TEA!



    Some guys simply don't have a clue,
    And they don't seem to think it right through,
    Originally posted by Pyxis
    I'm one of them,
    'Cos I coughs up me phlegm
    And it always ends up in me shoe!


    I've eaten my toast and my egg
    And I've given a scratch to my leg
    Sleazy
    In Vino Veritas, In Aqua Sanitas
    • FormulaDriven
    • By FormulaDriven 5th Mar 18, 10:21 AM
    • 103 Posts
    • 73 Thanks
    FormulaDriven
    I've eaten my toast and my egg
    And I've given a scratch to my leg.
    Sepsis is a curse
    If the scratch does get worse
    Then, doctor, for medicine I beg.



    Strange coincidence: I devised these next lines before I saw the above

    There was an old lady from Hitchin
    Who found she could never stop itching.
    Last edited by FormulaDriven; 05-03-2018 at 10:22 AM. Reason: Formatting
    • Jackmydad
    • By Jackmydad 5th Mar 18, 11:53 AM
    • 2,480 Posts
    • 7,404 Thanks
    Jackmydad
    I've eaten my toast and my egg
    And I've given a scratch to my leg.
    Sepsis is a curse
    If the scratch does get worse
    Then, doctor, for medicine I beg.



    Strange coincidence: I devised these next lines before I saw the above

    There was an old lady from Hitchin
    Who found she could never stop itching.
    Originally posted by FormulaDriven
    She scratched everywhere
    In the hall, on the stair
    And even while sat in the kitchen

    A jaunty young ringer called Rides
    Had some extraordinary strides
    "Luck happens where hard work meets opportunity"
    • pollypenny
    • By pollypenny 5th Mar 18, 12:53 PM
    • 23,921 Posts
    • 62,334 Thanks
    pollypenny
    But he passed by the booze,
    And the perfume, and shoes,
    And then bought me a packet of TEA!



    Some guys simply don't have a clue,
    And they don't seem to think it right through,
    Originally posted by Pyxis
    I wanted Lancombe
    Should not cost a bomb
    It,s not like our romance is new!





    While pondering the subject of lunch
    She couldn,t decide what to munch
    Member #14 of SKI-ers club

    Words, words, they're all we have to go by!.

    (Pity they are mangled by this autocorrect!)
    • libra10
    • By libra10 5th Mar 18, 6:57 PM
    • 10,023 Posts
    • 197,787 Thanks
    libra10
    While pondering the subject of lunch
    She couldn't decide what to munch
    Not wanting to get fatter
    She looked for a platter
    And a lettuce leaf she gloomily crunched.






    My intelligent little dog called Barney
    Is a fan of governor, Mark Carney
    • Pyxis
    • By Pyxis 5th Mar 18, 8:38 PM
    • 34,866 Posts
    • 129,478 Thanks
    Pyxis
    Everyone's out of sync!
    You've probably been on the drink!
    You'd all better catch up
    And someone should patch up
    The mess, or this thread's gonna sink!

    (I just lurve spiders! )
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom
    Founder Member: WIMPS ANONYMOUS
    • Sleazy
    • By Sleazy 5th Mar 18, 8:47 PM
    • 8,542 Posts
    • 13,948 Thanks
    Sleazy
    Maybe t'was the thought of phlegm
    That went and sort of addled them.
    Now me ears have gone and popped,
    Though the dreadful coughing's stopped
    Ahem! Ahem! Ahem ......
    Sleazy
    In Vino Veritas, In Aqua Sanitas
    • Pyxis
    • By Pyxis 6th Mar 18, 6:09 AM
    • 34,866 Posts
    • 129,478 Thanks
    Pyxis

    A jaunty young ringer called Rides
    Had some extraordinary strides.
    Originally posted by Jackmydad
    When pealing the bells
    Or tolling the knells
    it's plain that he wears the wrong size!










    My intelligent dog called Barney
    Is a fan of governor, Mark Carney
    Originally posted by libra10
    'Cos Mark, in his drawer,
    Keeps cheese, bread and more,
    And often gives Barney a sarnie!





    Now that this thread's back on track,
    I hope that you won't give me flack,



    .
    (I just lurve spiders! )
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom
    Founder Member: WIMPS ANONYMOUS
    • marcus ohreallius
    • By marcus ohreallius 6th Mar 18, 11:38 AM
    • 257 Posts
    • 528 Thanks
    marcus ohreallius
    Now that this thread's back on track,
    I hope that you won't give me flack,
    Originally posted by Pyxis
    my poetic streak
    is reaching its peak
    and I won't have it going all slack





    There once was a lady from Harrow
    who liked to partake in some Tarot
    • Sleazy
    • By Sleazy 6th Mar 18, 11:44 AM
    • 8,542 Posts
    • 13,948 Thanks
    Sleazy
    my poetic streak
    is reaching its peak
    and I won't have it going all slack





    There once was a lady from Harrow
    who liked to partake in some Tarot
    Originally posted by marcus ohreallius
    I let out a shriek
    And cried "You're a freak"
    Then ran over her with my barrow ....


    In the back of the truck
    Sat an aged old duck
    Sleazy
    In Vino Veritas, In Aqua Sanitas
    • FormulaDriven
    • By FormulaDriven 7th Mar 18, 1:30 PM
    • 103 Posts
    • 73 Thanks
    FormulaDriven
    Those scan as lines 3 and 4 so I'll use them that way


    A farmer as mad as a bat
    Went to market in tails and top hat.
    In the back of the truck
    Sat an aged old duck.
    The driver? A three-legged cat!


    A pretty bus driver from France
    Had a crush on a young man called Lance.
    • Pyxis
    • By Pyxis 7th Mar 18, 1:48 PM
    • 34,866 Posts
    • 129,478 Thanks
    Pyxis
    Those scan as lines 3 and 4 so I'll use them that way
    . Just what I would have done!

    A farmer as mad as a bat
    Went to market in tails and top hat.
    In the back of the truck
    Sat an aged old duck.
    The driver? A three-legged cat!





    A pretty bus driver from France
    Had a crush on a young man called Lance.
    Originally posted by FormulaDriven
    But Lance was immune to
    Her charms; he was soon to
    Get wed to a man named Laur- ence.




    The pretty bus driver was sad,
    But she said, "Never mind, 'cos a lad
    (I just lurve spiders! )
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom
    Founder Member: WIMPS ANONYMOUS
    • FormulaDriven
    • By FormulaDriven 7th Mar 18, 2:17 PM
    • 103 Posts
    • 73 Thanks
    FormulaDriven
    It's interesting the interplay of gender and stereotypes here - while a bus driver might by default be assumed to be male, you interpreted my use of "pretty" as meaning female (which was what I had imagined).


    Now, back to the limericks.
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