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  • FIRST POST
    • marcus ohreallius
    • By marcus ohreallius 17th Feb 18, 1:34 PM
    • 257Posts
    • 528Thanks
    marcus ohreallius
    Limerick thread
    • #1
    • 17th Feb 18, 1:34 PM
    Limerick thread 17th Feb 18 at 1:34 PM
    How about one person creates the first two lines of a limerick and the next person completes the limerick by adding the remaining 3 lines? (They then make up the first two lines of the next limerick and so on..)

    Here's one, to get the ball rolling:


    There once was a man called Rob
    Who liked to eat corn on the cob


    ... over to you!
Page 10
    • pollypenny
    • By pollypenny 10th Mar 18, 6:11 PM
    • 23,921 Posts
    • 62,334 Thanks
    pollypenny
    A hairy young woman called Mary
    Did a stint milking cows at the dairy
    She gave an involuntary shudder
    when she felt for the cow's udder
    and discovered a yellow canary!








    Young Tom, a computer technician
    was forever dreaming and wishin'
    Originally posted by libra10
    Not to be stuck in a room
    With grey walls like a tomb
    But sat on a river bank fishin




    An agile young woman called Jo
    Could balance a bar on tip-toe
    Member #14 of SKI-ers club

    Words, words, they're all we have to go by!.

    (Pity they are mangled by this autocorrect!)
    • marcus ohreallius
    • By marcus ohreallius 10th Mar 18, 8:47 PM
    • 257 Posts
    • 528 Thanks
    marcus ohreallius
    An agile young woman called Jo
    Could balance a bar on tip-toe
    Originally posted by pollypenny
    she drank too much water
    and did a rip-snorter
    and out of the door she did go





    A drunken young student named Sue
    Wrote the following words in the loo
    • Pyxis
    • By Pyxis 10th Mar 18, 9:18 PM
    • 34,831 Posts
    • 129,313 Thanks
    Pyxis

    A drunken young student named Sue
    Wrote the following words in the loo
    Originally posted by marcus ohreallius
    "Where the wee goes
    I really don't knows,
    But it sometimes goes there with some poo"!




    A four-poster bed, over years,
    Must see not only frolics, but tears,
    (I just lurve spiders! )
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom
    Founder Member: WIMPS ANONYMOUS
    • libra10
    • By libra10 11th Mar 18, 10:33 AM
    • 10,016 Posts
    • 197,619 Thanks
    libra10
    A four-poster bed, over years,
    Must see not only frolics, but tears,
    To shout hip-hip hurray
    when buying a new duvet
    and the old woolly quilt disappears.












    No fashions made could be finer
    than those made by Alonzo, top designer
    • pollypenny
    • By pollypenny 12th Mar 18, 2:56 PM
    • 23,921 Posts
    • 62,334 Thanks
    pollypenny
    A four-poster bed, over years,
    Must see not only frolics, but tears,
    To shout hip-hip hurray
    when buying a new duvet
    and the old woolly quilt disappears.












    No fashions made could be finer
    than those made by Alonzo, top designer
    Originally posted by libra10
    We could visit to view
    Clothes made in every sweet hue
    While sitting back on his recliner.



    The guy who cooked the fish and chips
    Was known to take some secret nips
    Member #14 of SKI-ers club

    Words, words, they're all we have to go by!.

    (Pity they are mangled by this autocorrect!)
    • libra10
    • By libra10 13th Mar 18, 4:52 PM
    • 10,016 Posts
    • 197,619 Thanks
    libra10
    The guy who cooked the fish and chips
    Was known to take some secret nips
    He got the fryer going
    The fat hot and glowing
    His customers licking their lips.








    Frustrated with teaching at school
    The headmaster enforced a new rule
    • pollypenny
    • By pollypenny 13th Mar 18, 6:07 PM
    • 23,921 Posts
    • 62,334 Thanks
    pollypenny
    The guy who cooked the fish and chips
    Was known to take some secret nips
    He got the fryer going
    The fat hot and glowing
    His customers licking their lips.








    Frustrated with teaching at school
    The headmaster enforced a new rule
    Originally posted by libra10
    All girls must wear Uggs,
    The lads looks like thugs,
    And Primark forever will rule!

    ( references to regular threads on Family board).



    A naive young man from Dublin
    Wanted to go for some clubbin
    Member #14 of SKI-ers club

    Words, words, they're all we have to go by!.

    (Pity they are mangled by this autocorrect!)
    • Sleazy
    • By Sleazy 14th Mar 18, 4:06 PM
    • 8,526 Posts
    • 13,905 Thanks
    Sleazy
    All girls must wear Uggs,
    The lads looks like thugs,
    And Primark forever will rule!

    ( references to regular threads on Family board).



    A naive young man from Dublin
    Wanted to go for some clubbin
    Originally posted by pollypenny
    He got in his car
    But when he got to the bar
    Found that his mates had gone pubbin'


    There was a young man from Berks
    Who's relatives all were clerks
    Sleazy
    In Vino Veritas, In Aqua Sanitas
    • Mr Gruntfuttock
    • By Mr Gruntfuttock 14th Mar 18, 4:10 PM
    • 53 Posts
    • 64 Thanks
    Mr Gruntfuttock
    There was a young man from Berks
    Who's relatives all were clerks
    Originally posted by Sleazy
    they nearly got fired
    for being so tired
    cos they had to be up with the larks




    A woman had something quite catching
    an illness that seemed to be hatching
    • Pyxis
    • By Pyxis 14th Mar 18, 6:13 PM
    • 34,831 Posts
    • 129,313 Thanks
    Pyxis



    A woman had something quite catching,
    An illness that seemed to be hatching,
    Originally posted by Mr Gruntfuttock
    So she went to her bed,
    And then eeek! laid an egg!
    Now she's out in the garden a-scratching!



    A human who morphs to a hen
    Is as weird as a weird thing, but then
    (I just lurve spiders! )
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom
    Founder Member: WIMPS ANONYMOUS
    • FormulaDriven
    • By FormulaDriven 27th Mar 18, 5:11 PM
    • 103 Posts
    • 73 Thanks
    FormulaDriven
    A human who morphs to a hen
    Is as weird as a weird thing, but then
    I once had a dog
    That transformed to a frog
    And its croak was the chimes of Big Ben!


    I'm partial to a nice hot cross bun:
    I'll eat ten this Easter for fun.
    Last edited by FormulaDriven; 27-03-2018 at 5:14 PM. Reason: Added next starter
    • libra10
    • By libra10 28th Mar 18, 3:59 PM
    • 10,016 Posts
    • 197,619 Thanks
    libra10
    I'm partial to a nice hot cross bun:
    I'll eat ten this Easter for fun.
    He would then book the dentist,
    helped by his apprentice,
    and end up with smiling toothless gums!












    While singing with the local church choir,
    his voice couldn't go any higher.
    • Jackmydad
    • By Jackmydad 28th Mar 18, 5:19 PM
    • 2,466 Posts
    • 7,351 Thanks
    Jackmydad
    While singing with the local church choir,
    his voice couldn't go any higher.
    Originally posted by libra10
    'Til his wife with stiletto
    Changed pitch to falsetto
    For being a cheat and a liar.

    I go to the market each week
    For bargains I there like to seek
    "Luck happens where hard work meets opportunity"
    • pollypenny
    • By pollypenny 28th Mar 18, 6:20 PM
    • 23,921 Posts
    • 62,334 Thanks
    pollypenny
    'Til his wife with stiletto
    Changed pitch to falsetto
    For being a cheat and a liar.

    I go to the market each week
    For bargains I there like to seek
    Originally posted by Jackmydad
    I might buy some frocks
    If cheap and some socks,
    Admitting resolution is weak!



    Laden with bags from the stall
    The quality can often appall
    Member #14 of SKI-ers club

    Words, words, they're all we have to go by!.

    (Pity they are mangled by this autocorrect!)
    • Jackmydad
    • By Jackmydad 28th Mar 18, 6:44 PM
    • 2,466 Posts
    • 7,351 Thanks
    Jackmydad
    Laden with bags from the stall
    The quality can often appall
    Originally posted by pollypenny
    That bright polyester
    Was made by some jester
    It's enough to make grown ups bawl

    I think it is fair to say lad
    That things here are looking quite bad
    "Luck happens where hard work meets opportunity"
    • pollypenny
    • By pollypenny 29th Mar 18, 10:58 AM
    • 23,921 Posts
    • 62,334 Thanks
    pollypenny
    That bright polyester
    Was made by some jester
    It's enough to make grown ups bawl

    I think it is fair to say lad
    That things here are looking quite bad
    Originally posted by Jackmydad


    We'll soon be out of work,
    All thanks to some berk,
    And benefits will only be sad.



    Why canít I get rid of this cold,
    Itís making me feel ill and old
    Member #14 of SKI-ers club

    Words, words, they're all we have to go by!.

    (Pity they are mangled by this autocorrect!)
    • libra10
    • By libra10 29th Mar 18, 4:44 PM
    • 10,016 Posts
    • 197,619 Thanks
    libra10
    Why canít I get rid of this cold,
    Itís making me feel ill and old
    I've tried Vicks Inhaler
    but it makes me go paler
    And my nose is a sight to behold!






    Hamish was broke to the hilt
    and decided to auction his kilt.
    • pollypenny
    • By pollypenny 2nd Apr 18, 7:28 PM
    • 23,921 Posts
    • 62,334 Thanks
    pollypenny
    Why canít I get rid of this cold,
    Itís making me feel ill and old
    I've tried Vicks Inhaler
    but it makes me go paler
    And my nose is a sight to behold!






    Hamish was broke to the hilt
    and decided to auction his kilt.
    Originally posted by libra10

    His bandy white legs
    Were just like tent pegs
    So he wrapped himself up in a quilt.




    When Theresa forgot how to vote
    She was floating along in a boat
    Member #14 of SKI-ers club

    Words, words, they're all we have to go by!.

    (Pity they are mangled by this autocorrect!)
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