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  • FIRST POST
    • Blar
    • By Blar 14th Feb 18, 6:55 PM
    • 9Posts
    • 0Thanks
    Blar
    My ex is trying to force me to sell
    • #1
    • 14th Feb 18, 6:55 PM
    My ex is trying to force me to sell 14th Feb 18 at 6:55 PM
    I have always paid the morgage and bills as my ex couldnt be trusted with money. Hes moved out and back in so many times due to cheating ive lost count. Now ive called time and refused to have him back hes tried to force me to sell. We have 2 children together and they live with me. He finally agreed i could take his name off the morgage but only if im not aloud to sell the house untill our small children are 18. Then they would get half of the proceeds. Can he do this ? Can he force me to sell when ive always paid the morgage. Hes trying to control me and ive had enough. I cant afford to sell or remorgage as hes left me clearing up debt
Page 1
    • Ames
    • By Ames 14th Feb 18, 7:02 PM
    • 17,239 Posts
    • 30,363 Thanks
    Ames
    • #2
    • 14th Feb 18, 7:02 PM
    • #2
    • 14th Feb 18, 7:02 PM
    Were you married?
    Unless I say otherwise 'you' means the general you not you specifically.
    • BorisThomson
    • By BorisThomson 14th Feb 18, 7:23 PM
    • 1,586 Posts
    • 3,420 Thanks
    BorisThomson
    • #3
    • 14th Feb 18, 7:23 PM
    • #3
    • 14th Feb 18, 7:23 PM
    Will the lender allow him to remove his name, have they confirmed you qualify for a mortgage in your sole name?
    • Blar
    • By Blar 14th Feb 18, 8:03 PM
    • 9 Posts
    • 0 Thanks
    Blar
    • #4
    • 14th Feb 18, 8:03 PM
    • #4
    • 14th Feb 18, 8:03 PM
    No we werent married
    • Blar
    • By Blar 14th Feb 18, 8:06 PM
    • 9 Posts
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    Blar
    • #5
    • 14th Feb 18, 8:06 PM
    • #5
    • 14th Feb 18, 8:06 PM
    The lender wants me to do an affordability check i know i can afford it as ive always paid but hes ruined my credit rating and ive defaulted. Im clearing the debt hes left me in through stepchange and am managing to pay everything. Its just pursuading the lender to agree
    • Pixie5740
    • By Pixie5740 14th Feb 18, 8:38 PM
    • 12,111 Posts
    • 17,045 Thanks
    Pixie5740
    • #6
    • 14th Feb 18, 8:38 PM
    • #6
    • 14th Feb 18, 8:38 PM
    Making the mortgage payments each month is not the same thing as passing the lender!!!8217;s affordability tests.

    If you ex jointly owns the property you can!!!8217;t prevent him from entering the property without a court order. He can also take you to court to force the sale of the property if he wants but that will take a long time and is expensive.

    Is there a deed of trust setting out what will happen in the event of a relationship breakdown?
    • Blar
    • By Blar 14th Feb 18, 9:07 PM
    • 9 Posts
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    Blar
    • #7
    • 14th Feb 18, 9:07 PM
    • #7
    • 14th Feb 18, 9:07 PM
    No i dont belive a deed of trust has been set out. If he did take me to court would the judge look favourably on myself because ive always paid the morgage or doesnt that matter. Hes threatened to throw me out at the end of the month if i dont get this sorted and he move back in. Hes a drug addict on a suspended sentence whos under compulsary drug councilling . Ive suffered domestic abuse and been landed with debt. Im hoping i have a case if needs be
    • thorsoak
    • By thorsoak 15th Feb 18, 6:32 AM
    • 5,662 Posts
    • 25,921 Thanks
    thorsoak
    • #8
    • 15th Feb 18, 6:32 AM
    • #8
    • 15th Feb 18, 6:32 AM
    Have you spoken to Womens' Aid? They may be able to advise.
    • FBaby
    • By FBaby 15th Feb 18, 7:30 AM
    • 16,679 Posts
    • 41,267 Thanks
    FBaby
    • #9
    • 15th Feb 18, 7:30 AM
    • #9
    • 15th Feb 18, 7:30 AM
    He finally agreed i could take his name off the morgage but only if im not aloud to sell the house untill our small children are 18. Then they would get half of the proceeds.
    That's an interesting suggestion. In theory, his suggestion is not unreasonable. He says he is prepared to take his name off the deeds/mortgage without you having to give him anything but wants what he would legally be entitled to (50% or proceed) to go to his children when they turn 18.

    However, what that 50% that he could claim would only be for time you bought the house together to the time he's taken his name off the deeds not 50% of the entirety of equity.

    When did you purchase the property and who paid the deposit? The fact that he didn't pay the mortgage because he wasn't good with money is irrelevant, you were a couple and jointly responsible, so legally, he could claim 50% of equity build up until he moved out as a minimum (and possibly the deposit if he paid it in full).

    If you work and could afford a mortgage to another property on you own that would accommodate the need of the children, then a judge could order the sale of the house and him getting his 50%.

    The easiest way to resolve this is to agree the sum that he would be reasonable entitled to if you sold now, and then agree that when you sale the house, that sum goes into a trust fund for the children if you sale before they turn 18, or release to them when they are 18.

    In the end, it's either him getting that sum at some point, or it going to your kids, so you might negotiate something that support the second suggestion.
    • Pollycat
    • By Pollycat 15th Feb 18, 8:40 AM
    • 20,018 Posts
    • 53,729 Thanks
    Pollycat
    The lender wants me to do an affordability check i know i can afford it as ive always paid but hes ruined my credit rating and ive defaulted. Im clearing the debt hes left me in through stepchange and am managing to pay everything. Its just pursuading the lender to agree
    Originally posted by Blar
    Making the mortgage payments each month is not the same thing as passing the lender!!!8217;s affordability tests.
    Originally posted by Pixie5740
    Pixie is correct here.
    My friend was in a similar situation.
    Ex had left her, she was paying the full mortgage on her own.
    The lender refused to take his name off the mortgage.
    So she had to continue paying the mortgage.
    The scumbag wouldn't even allow her to renegotiate a better deal when the original one had expired.
    Don't hold out much hope for your lender to agree.


    And she was forced to put the house up for sale, even though her children were of school age.
    I believe she had a rubbish solicitor, possibly because she was on legal aid.
    Last edited by Pollycat; 15-02-2018 at 1:28 PM.
    • kazwookie
    • By kazwookie 15th Feb 18, 8:51 AM
    • 9,653 Posts
    • 121,957 Thanks
    kazwookie
    The debts you are paying off

    Are they in joint names? / just his name? / or just your name?
    Sun, Sea
    Slinky start date 29.01.18 28 to go / -10 so far and counting!!
    • TBagpuss
    • By TBagpuss 15th Feb 18, 11:29 AM
    • 6,487 Posts
    • 8,414 Thanks
    TBagpuss
    Pixie is correct here.
    My friend was in a similar situation.
    Ex had left her, she was paying the full mortgage on her own.
    The lender refused to take his name off the mortgage.

    And she was forced to put the house up for sale, even though her children were of school age.
    I believe she had a rubbish solicitor, possibly because she was on legal aid.
    Originally posted by Pollycat
    If they were not married, then the court has very limited power *not* to order a sale. The fact that there are children doesn't generally come in to it. It's one of the reasons why it is sensible to have a proper declaration of trust and cohabitation agreement if you chose not to marry.

    OP, your ex can't throw you out. You are both entitled to be in the house, unless a court makes an order requiring one of you leave. It might be open to you to get an occupation order to prevent him from moving back in, if there is a history of violence or abuse, or to apply for an order to force him to leave if he does return, and is threatening or violent to you.

    However, if you cannot get his name off the mortgage then yes, he can force you to sell and, in the absence of any other agreement, you would each be entitled to 50% of the net equity.
    • davidwood681
    • By davidwood681 15th Feb 18, 12:51 PM
    • 226 Posts
    • 707 Thanks
    davidwood681
    I have always paid the morgage and bills as my ex couldnt be trusted with money. Hes moved out and back in so many times due to cheating ive lost count. Now ive called time and refused to have him back hes tried to force me to sell. We have 2 children together and they live with me. He finally agreed i could take his name off the morgage but only if im not aloud to sell the house untill our small children are 18. Then they would get half of the proceeds. Can he do this ? Can he force me to sell when ive always paid the morgage. Hes trying to control me and ive had enough. I cant afford to sell or remorgage as hes left me clearing up debt
    Originally posted by Blar
    To be fair, this solution has no financial benefit to him and shows he really cares about his children. Says quite a bit
    • Blar
    • By Blar 15th Feb 18, 10:46 PM
    • 9 Posts
    • 0 Thanks
    Blar
    When we bought the property we both put in the deposit. He then spent half the deposit behind my back . I took out a loan in my name to cover the amount which im still paying back now. The debt im in is because he stole from me and harrassed me for money because dealers were after him for money. I understand why he should want his name off the morgage or wants me to sell . But its not for sensible reasons anyone else would. Hes told me its because he wants me to feel as low as he does because hes living with his dad. Ive worked damn hard to pay everything on my own and im gutted he can now ruin it and make it all for nothing
    • Blar
    • By Blar 15th Feb 18, 10:48 PM
    • 9 Posts
    • 0 Thanks
    Blar
    Just my name as he couldnt get credit
    • FBaby
    • By FBaby 16th Feb 18, 7:22 AM
    • 16,679 Posts
    • 41,267 Thanks
    FBaby
    He finally agreed i could take his name off the morgage but only if im not aloud to sell the house untill our small children are 18. Then they would get half of the proceeds. Can he do this ?
    This is clearly a controlling suggestion but is it so bad? After all, it would mean you get the house for yourself until your kids are 18 and then they get half of equity build up for the time he was there, and you get the rest, maybe then able to buy something smaller. Surely it's better than what he would most likely be entitled to which is to force the sale when your youngest turn 18 and give HIM that sum of money rather than to your children.

    Saying that, you say you can't remortgage? If so, that's going to be an issue. You won't be able to have him remove his name from the mortgage without having to remortgage under your name only. If you can't get a mortgage (even if you can afford it), then that's not an option anyway?
    • pinkshoes
    • By pinkshoes 16th Feb 18, 8:30 AM
    • 15,717 Posts
    • 21,593 Thanks
    pinkshoes
    Your ex sounds like a ****.

    Personally I would just sell and get away from him. Choose freedom over money.
    Should've = Should HAVE (not 'of')
    Would've = Would HAVE (not 'of')

    No, I am not perfect, but yes I do judge people on their use of basic English language. If you didn't know the above, then learn it! (If English is your second language, then you are forgiven!)
    • 19lottie82
    • By 19lottie82 16th Feb 18, 9:50 AM
    • 5,774 Posts
    • 8,691 Thanks
    19lottie82
    You can!!!8217;t just take someone!!!8217;s name off a mortgage. The other party must get a new single applicant mortgage, passing affordability checks with the lender.

    As you!!!8217;ve said your credit rating has been trashed, this is unlikely to be an option.
    • es5595
    • By es5595 16th Feb 18, 11:05 AM
    • 74 Posts
    • 87 Thanks
    es5595
    .. untill our small children are 18. Then they would get half of the proceeds.
    Originally posted by Blar
    Blar, just checking that he's saying the children would get 'his' portion of the equity? Or is this is a spelling mistake and it should say 'he' not 'they'?

    I'd seriously consider getting advice from women's aid if he's been abusive or threatening, and consider getting a court order if he's trying to force himself back in. If he has a drug problem, is abusive to you, etc, do you really want your children seeing this and considering it normal/acceptable?
    • Blar
    • By Blar 16th Feb 18, 9:20 PM
    • 9 Posts
    • 0 Thanks
    Blar
    Im aware i cant just take his name off i am waiting for the bank to give me an appointment to do an affordability check. I have bern told they may look at me under speacial circumstances. I have been informed to try mediation with him so that will be my next step i think
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