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  • FIRST POST
    • dekaspace
    • By dekaspace 13th Feb 18, 1:37 PM
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    dekaspace
    Dealing with extreme noise with disabilities.
    • #1
    • 13th Feb 18, 1:37 PM
    Dealing with extreme noise with disabilities. 13th Feb 18 at 1:37 PM
    Outside of moving which I don't want to do as its social housing, wearing headphones or earplugs which I can't do as my autism gives me panic attacks wearing them or being out of the house when they make noise which is difficult as I can't gauge it or as its in evening when I come back from college means I have no relaxation time.

    Even been sleeping 13 hours a day past week due to the stress.

    Ok backstory, as people know it can come across as I have had neighbour complaints everywhere I lived which is somewhat true, at previous property had a neighbour who gave spare keys to his cousin who brought his dog round multiple times a day, let it off lead and it barked, this could be middle of night but always at 6am before work, the same neighbours cousin used to have barbeques in the communal garden and leave it full of rubbish, get agressive if you went into garden whilst he was having one and demand you leave, scream racism if you tried reaching a compromise, and the neighbour above me for a year had 2 dogs they left alone all day and would jump and bark constantly at slightest sound even sitting on chair, opening a bedroom door,

    This property its just consistent kids noise or visitor, the neighbour put in nice laminate, which means I hear everything, keeps lying when I talk to her or blaming other people, but a few times a week has friends round who bring their own kids so on average 8-12 kids running about on laminate for about 3-6 hours multiple times a week made worse now shes got a puppy that barks a lot too, council got involved and had snotty letter through door from neighbour stating she has a right to have partys and friends whenever she wants and in captials "AS IS MY RIGHT TO DO"

    All I asked the council for was mediation which she by councils own admission (though they wouldn't tell me exactly what was said) was agressive over and refusing mediation.

    She had a kids party last night which at one point I saw a group of adults and kids outside my very door screaming, running and yelling which I thought was intentional, and last weekend a party with drunken adults that went on to 5am, she also has admitted that her "babysitter" in her own words shouts at her kids as "she likes her drink"

    I so far have missed a week of college as so dizzy and chest thumping pains, and sleeping a few times 13 hours a day.

    Note I am not asking about medical advice more how to cope with this sort of situation and to make me relax more about it.
Page 1
    • spadoosh
    • By spadoosh 13th Feb 18, 2:13 PM
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    spadoosh
    • #2
    • 13th Feb 18, 2:13 PM
    • #2
    • 13th Feb 18, 2:13 PM
    The way i tolerate other peoples behaviour which i dont like is by looking to myself. I know im an idiot, i know i do stupid things and i know some people wont like me. As much as i accept my flaws, i dont need people to point them out to me, as such i find the only reasonable thing to do is not point out other peoples flaws.

    Out of curiousity out of the times youve complained about neighbours, how many times have those complaints led to resolutions? Most time i see someone complain about something you just end up with two sides sticking their feet in.

    I understand you want peace and enjoyment as they say but i cant work out a way of getting peace and enjoyment from a complaint. It seems counter intuitive.


    A couple of examples, my neighbour has a parrot. Its quite active and loud through the night. I could complain about the noise but i only see that upsetting my neighbour. I have a dog, it will bark and probably more so when im out, my neighbour could complain but is probably aware it would upset me. If he started a complaint, my reaction would be to find his flaws, when i decided he was living the perfect enough life that he could stipulate how others should live theirs i would stop. The current sitatuion is mutually beneficial. I cant see anything else offering a better solution (than grinning and bearing it).
    Don't be angry!
    • dekaspace
    • By dekaspace 13th Feb 18, 2:47 PM
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    dekaspace
    • #3
    • 13th Feb 18, 2:47 PM
    • #3
    • 13th Feb 18, 2:47 PM
    The way i tolerate other peoples behaviour which i dont like is by looking to myself. I know im an idiot, i know i do stupid things and i know some people wont like me. As much as i accept my flaws, i dont need people to point them out to me, as such i find the only reasonable thing to do is not point out other peoples flaws.

    Out of curiousity out of the times youve complained about neighbours, how many times have those complaints led to resolutions? Most time i see someone complain about something you just end up with two sides sticking their feet in.

    I understand you want peace and enjoyment as they say but i cant work out a way of getting peace and enjoyment from a complaint. It seems counter intuitive.


    A couple of examples, my neighbour has a parrot. Its quite active and loud through the night. I could complain about the noise but i only see that upsetting my neighbour. I have a dog, it will bark and probably more so when im out, my neighbour could complain but is probably aware it would upset me. If he started a complaint, my reaction would be to find his flaws, when i decided he was living the perfect enough life that he could stipulate how others should live theirs i would stop. The current sitatuion is mutually beneficial. I cant see anything else offering a better solution (than grinning and bearing it).
    Originally posted by spadoosh
    Im basically a soft touch, I try being polite and saying I hear noise, can they hear me, I can understand they have kids/work long hours, and appreciate I don't hear noise during the night I also say I don't mind them having guests, or kids, pets, creaky floorboards but certain things can agitate like if they have groups of friends round at weekend and drink and put music on and even then I am a good sport and put up with it as everyone needs time to unwind basically I give them excuses.

    Each time im basically told its everyday noise, and in fact they praise me for being so quiet, at that last property had my downstairs neighbour and the then upstairs neighbour check up on me as they thought I either moved out or had a fall as they had not heard me or seen me for a week or more, had that at a few properties actually

    Just as had landlords phone me as the times they have visiited I haven't been in and the property looks like no one lives there (like not a spec of dust, bed neat and tidy, no cutlery or plates in sink etc.

    I often say I like hearing something over nothing, as long as something like anything in life doesn't directly disturb me, someone could be having a wild house party but I can't hear it and I get no fallout like people running in halls or singing outside my window, they have a right to do so and are having fun.

    I dislike hypocricy though, such as me tiptoeing about and still getting treated like I am making too much noise and someone say coming back drunk every weekend and slamming doors and putting music on then whinging how they got woke at 8am when I got up as it woke them too.

    But I don't know how to cope with this noise, I am settled in the flat and have it set to a way I like, but another tenant is a drug dealer or abuser or both, and have caught people shooting up outside my door before, I have a feeling thats why the noise has esclated as the neighbour above has witnessed it too so keeps kids indoors.
    • David Aston
    • By David Aston 13th Feb 18, 3:21 PM
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    David Aston
    • #4
    • 13th Feb 18, 3:21 PM
    • #4
    • 13th Feb 18, 3:21 PM
    Sadly, given you are the way you are, it does look as though you should be considering a move as soon as you can.
    • BorisThomson
    • By BorisThomson 13th Feb 18, 4:17 PM
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    BorisThomson
    • #5
    • 13th Feb 18, 4:17 PM
    • #5
    • 13th Feb 18, 4:17 PM
    I don't think you're ill intentioned, but I doubt your neighbours would see you as a good sport, more very hard work.

    Noise is an absolute nuisance, but it is a fact of life when living in flats. You've made such an issue of this that, whatever they do, you'll still find fault.

    Find ways to distract yourself from the noise, such as a radio on in the background. At the moment you're waiting for it to start, you're actively listening out for it, you're creating your own anxiety.

    I do understand how upsetting it is to you, but the solution does lie with you and not your neighbours.
    • dekaspace
    • By dekaspace 13th Feb 18, 7:10 PM
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    dekaspace
    • #6
    • 13th Feb 18, 7:10 PM
    • #6
    • 13th Feb 18, 7:10 PM
    I don't think you're ill intentioned, but I doubt your neighbours would see you as a good sport, more very hard work.

    Noise is an absolute nuisance, but it is a fact of life when living in flats. You've made such an issue of this that, whatever they do, you'll still find fault.

    Find ways to distract yourself from the noise, such as a radio on in the background. At the moment you're waiting for it to start, you're actively listening out for it, you're creating your own anxiety.

    I do understand how upsetting it is to you, but the solution does lie with you and not your neighbours.
    Originally posted by BorisThomson
    Im not a nuisance though, I tolerated such noise as them having family round for a week last year and the men in the family drinking heavily and up to 4am with tv on full blast I could hear the commentry on the sports!

    I tolerated by her own admission 20 kids playing form 6am-midnight when they were having a party last year.

    I tolerated her 5am drunken party last week.

    I tolerated her kids throwing snowballs at my windows

    I have lived away from home for 20 years and have lived in places where its been parties every day from neighbours and next to drug dealers, addicts, alcoholics, mentally ill funnily enough when I lived next to a dealer it was silence all the time.

    Noise is a fact of life however theres a point between normal noise and excessive noise, a majority of the noise from my neighbour is down to laminate, the running about will be watered down hugely by carpet to a tolerable standard.

    I can sleep through busy roads, workmen drilling, binmen maybe in as I can go to another room and get away from it.

    So not like I am worked up over nothing, at least its near silence today maybe as its half term.

    The general thing was I didn't like to live my life around them, and they shouldn't live their life around me it was compromise, I shouldn't have to be woken when their kids wake up and play, I should after a day at work/college come back and relax and not hear them entertaining guests to a extreme noise level and I shouldn't have to be the soft touch and let her do what she wants when she wants and me the villain!
    • Ames
    • By Ames 13th Feb 18, 8:38 PM
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    Ames
    • #7
    • 13th Feb 18, 8:38 PM
    • #7
    • 13th Feb 18, 8:38 PM
    The problem is a lot of what you're describing is just normal noise, and is part and parcel of living in a flat. I live in a ground floor council flat and I can hear everything my neighbour does - toilet noises, bedroom noises, talking on the phone, walking about, his alarm going off at 5.20 on a morning... It's not his fault, it's the way the flats are built.

    I think you need to concentrate on things that are beyond the normal. If they've got laminate when they're not allowed it then maybe the council can do something about that. If they've got a dog and their lease doesn't allow them to, then that can be reported. If the noise is outside of 'normal' hours, ie about 6am to 11pm Monday to Friday and a bit later on a weekend, then complain about that.

    By lumping everything into your complaint you're making it harder for the council to pick out what the problem is and do anything about it. I know you don't want to hear this, but it makes you appear unreasonable. You need to pick your battles carefully. You've already seen that your approach is getting your neighbours' backs up and making them worse.

    I've got mental health problems, and my neighbour's noise (and problems with other neighbours) often trigger and make them worse. But it's up to me to deal with them - I can't expect my neighbours to take resposibility for my health problems.

    If you really can't cope with noise from your neighbours and the council can't do anything the perhaps you need to explore your options regarding some kind of supported housing.
    Unless I say otherwise 'you' means the general you not you specifically.
    • Cyclamen
    • By Cyclamen 14th Feb 18, 9:06 AM
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    Cyclamen
    • #8
    • 14th Feb 18, 9:06 AM
    • #8
    • 14th Feb 18, 9:06 AM
    It doesnt sound like a flat is the right place for you but a syou are not able to move have you tried minimising the noise in your home.

    I have hyper accuissis.. in that in my bad patches noise is physically painful. I know this is me as my neighbours are lovely, I hardly here a peep but last summer the young lad started learning to play the saxaphone and i had the opening bars of the simpsons most day squeaking through the walls. I knew this was me though so tried my best to cheer him on an dlisten for improvements.

    Thick curtains can help reduce noise, Hanging pretty blankets/curtains on joining walls (as decorative wall hangings) can help reduce the noise. If noise is from below thick carpet/underlay. Rearranging furniture so your bed is on an internal wall and wardrobes on the joining walls.

    Are you windows double glazed? If not would fitting secondary glazing inside be a possibility. Are you able to fit any professional sound damping matterial.. i don't know about this but there must be something out there.

    Can you distract with white noise, either a CD or even something like a fan on in the room?

    I hope you find a solution
    • dekaspace
    • By dekaspace 14th Feb 18, 11:49 AM
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    dekaspace
    • #9
    • 14th Feb 18, 11:49 AM
    • #9
    • 14th Feb 18, 11:49 AM
    The problem is a lot of what you're describing is just normal noise, and is part and parcel of living in a flat. I live in a ground floor council flat and I can hear everything my neighbour does - toilet noises, bedroom noises, talking on the phone, walking about, his alarm going off at 5.20 on a morning... It's not his fault, it's the way the flats are built.

    I think you need to concentrate on things that are beyond the normal. If they've got laminate when they're not allowed it then maybe the council can do something about that. If they've got a dog and their lease doesn't allow them to, then that can be reported. If the noise is outside of 'normal' hours, ie about 6am to 11pm Monday to Friday and a bit later on a weekend, then complain about that.

    By lumping everything into your complaint you're making it harder for the council to pick out what the problem is and do anything about it. I know you don't want to hear this, but it makes you appear unreasonable. You need to pick your battles carefully. You've already seen that your approach is getting your neighbours' backs up and making them worse.

    I've got mental health problems, and my neighbour's noise (and problems with other neighbours) often trigger and make them worse. But it's up to me to deal with them - I can't expect my neighbours to take resposibility for my health problems.

    If you really can't cope with noise from your neighbours and the council can't do anything the perhaps you need to explore your options regarding some kind of supported housing.
    Originally posted by Ames
    Normal noise things, but to extreme levels made worse by laminate yeah, hence large groups of kids running about at once. it is double glazed

    I mean I never hear their tv, or music and at most pacing about from adults is just creaking floor, tolerable, for a few months the kids kept ramming toys into the wall and by her own admission on multiple occasions had around 20 kids shut into one room at one time, 20 kids in one room is not normal noise, sometimes its 10, sometimes its 20 and that party I reckon was more because she admitted she was inviting the whole primary school class round (and also their parents)

    I have lived in tiny bedrooms with walls to thin you can hear the neighbour burp fart, snore, open and close doors and cupboards so I know what noise is like, none of that bothered me much (apart from when they had friends round till 3-5am in morning) I have lived next to someone who had a drum kit, I lived next to someone who didn't live in his room and gave out spare keys and it turned into 24/7 party music full blast and I got a hour a day sleep if lucky. I even lived next to someone who liked to take drugs and on have sex all night, one occasion a 24 hour sex session!

    So I know noise and what is tolerable and not, whenever I do have guests staying overnight they are woken around 5am by the kids running about and screaming and dropping toys.

    And right now I think they are playing games, their tv feels like loud (but no bass) and I hear an agressive male voice it feels they are trying to punish me.

    I can drown out their noise but it would involve me putting on tv or computer to agressive levels which would stress me out and make me look bad.

    So yeah it is normal/everyday noise but to not everyday noise levels.
    • Ames
    • By Ames 14th Feb 18, 12:42 PM
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    Ames
    Kids have a right to play though, and if they can't play outside because of the drug users then they're going to be noisy inside. The frequent parties might be an issue you can complain about, but not the playing.

    Can't you see how hard it is for the parents trying to keep their children safe and let them have as normal a childhood as possible?
    Unless I say otherwise 'you' means the general you not you specifically.
    • dekaspace
    • By dekaspace 14th Feb 18, 6:21 PM
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    dekaspace
    Kids have a right to play though, and if they can't play outside because of the drug users then they're going to be noisy inside. The frequent parties might be an issue you can complain about, but not the playing.

    Can't you see how hard it is for the parents trying to keep their children safe and let them have as normal a childhood as possible?
    Originally posted by Ames
    Who says I can't seeit though? In fact why do you think I can't see? I have zero issue with HER kids playing its the fact multiple nights a week she has 10+ kids running about screaming, chucking things at each other, chasing the dog which makes it bark. Again by her own admission she actually blamed her friends for everything, she said her friends like a drink when they come round and let kids play, and she can't handle 10+ kids running around so she lets them get on with it and even admits it is noisy (or she did until it has escalated) Its when she has 10 or more kids around that the noise gets to extremes, that would be so even with carpet but at least it would muffle it enough.

    Shes also friends with 2 other families in the block with kids of similar ages who she tells me she likes to visit often, and is friends with many other families just across the road, many have their own large gardens, and we are 2 minutes walk from a park with swings, slides. Sure she has a right to stay in but so do I.

    Hey if it stops the noise upstairs the kids can play in my garden, its nice to see kids play and enjoy themselves and safest option.

    So, its not like I am just complaining for the sake of it, I have politely spoken to her in past, each time getting outright lies, contradictions and overall just being told "so what" I don't need to or want to know her life story and she has a right not to tell me, but I dislike the fact she is being deceitful thats pretty much it because it causes more problems.

    This is very unlikely. It sounds like they're just doing what families do.

    Trying to look at things from the neighbour's viewpoint, she may feel like she's just living a normal life, but this bloke from downstairs keeps complaining and asking personal questions about the men she has in her house, where she's from, etc.

    I know that's not your intention, you're just responding in the best way you can to a situation that's stressing you out, but she may indeed be feeling victimised, which would explain her angry response to mediation (i.e. "Why should I mediate when he's harrassing me over normal noise?")

    I know you don't want to move, but I also don't think there's going to be a happy resolution where you are now.
    Originally posted by Penitent
    I have spoken to her 5 times since I moved in, she leads the discussion such as telling me she has her husband then male babysitter, so the time we spoke in New Year I said I heard more noise than usual last few days sounded like a guy laughing/speaking guess thats the babysitter (because she told me specifically she has a male babysitter that is half deaf therefore shouts when he speaks and walks heavily) each time she jumps to the problem the first time I spoke to her I said I heard noise she pointed to her slippers and went "can't be me I wear slippers all the time" then said "oh we had a party yesterday by the way, it was a religious event there was 20 kids playing in bedroom and we finished at midnight"

    I didn't mention what the noises were, I did say there was one night I heard noise past midnight and she went "yes I had family visiting, they like their drink"

    I never asked any time who made the noise.

    Most recent time after the party I said I heard a party she went "yes my friends turned up, already drunk and started singing and drinking even more and didn't leave to 5am oh well, nothing I could do"

    I never mentioned times except saying it went quiet for a while at 1am (didn't say I heard drunk men leave her property then sing in the street at same time) I said drunken people she said drunken females.

    Though you think 20 kids locked in a room is normal whilst adults spend all day getting drunk? 30 kids the other day? A babysitter who she told me "likes to/a drink" whilst babysitting primary school age children then screams at the kids to shut up? Then the kids cry which makes her shout more, then the dog barks.

    Theres a limit to noise, sure the fact she chose laminate is agrivating but thats not the main issue, I understand kids get up early, I understand by her own admission she does shift work, I understand she has friends and other things but there gets a point with noise, I mean her washing machine doesn't bother me in the slightest, the toilet being used, guests coming and going

    Very few things basically bother me, I have lived below people with kids before, lived below people with dogs not much does bother me, even the kids crying during night doesn't

    I even put up with her "invisible" male guests chucking rubbish into my garden, and fag ends, or standing in my garden chatting up and having things passed down (the same men she claims don't exist)

    Its just a gang of rowdy kids and adults, which went on for 14 days straight until the council contacted them, after being fobbed off on 2 occasions, so thats 10-20 kids at one time, and at least the same amount of adults being rowdy, doors getting slammed, kids slamming toys into walls for 14 days, 2 of those days being late parties im actually appreciative of the fact I almost never hear noise after 10pm its just a shame I can't get any peace often in day time unless its half term or summer.

    And last week she claimed to be away for 5 days, those days bar day 1 I didn't hear any kids or dog noise so she was likely telling the truth but the male I keep seeing and hearing that she claims doesn't exist its possible a friend or so had a spare key and just used it for a place to crash for a few days and had loads of friends round, thats not being nosy or anything its saying maybe she didn't even realise there was noise, its just a shame with her denials she is anything but a single mother as is her right and im not going to push her for answers (so yeah not being nosy) it just makes things extra hard as a result.

    I don't intend for things to get bad thats why I am a soft touch and let it go on for so long, I don't know why the previous tenants moved out but since shes moved in tenants haven't lasted very long maybe they had a issue with noise too.
    • dekaspace
    • By dekaspace 14th Feb 18, 8:41 PM
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    dekaspace
    The fact that you can reel all that off only goes to show how much this whole thing is consuming you. It doesn't sound like she's going anywhere or that she's going to do anything differently, so that leaves you with only one solution: move away from her. Is your current flat really worth the damage living there is doing to your health?
    Originally posted by Penitent
    Technically the reason I reel it off is the autism makes me describe things in detail, just so all the bases are covered.

    I can tolerate the noise, tolerate literally is the word its just stressful, but if I move whos to say I won't have even worse problems, then I lose a stable cheap social housing which has excellent repairs and great transport links.

    As I type this I am hearing loud men upstairs, I can sleep through it though, but I do keep thinking about how she claims shes a single mum and only has female visitors so insults my intelligence by lying! (not end of world just feels disrespectful even more given the fact she thinks she is the victim but likes to lie and deflect blame to other people)
    • dekaspace
    • By dekaspace 14th Feb 18, 9:18 PM
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    dekaspace
    I was thinking that, but council just mentioned the process of moving means a whole new application, and things like neighbour noise and drug addicts only gets points if its logged constantly i.e a few complaints here and there wouldn't get points.

    I originally got points due to health, but also the safety of property as the ceiling collapsed at old place, now I am secure I think will get less points but then I have junkies upstairs who shoot up outside so who knows.

    I have gotten to the point in last few months where I feel flats aren't for me unless they are specific types of flats i.e the one I have now and many I have lived in are literal squares and entrance normally is into a small hall and ends up in a living room with kitchen attached, I would prefer a more maisonette style proprety even if its flats i.e maybe a actual front and back door, overall better layout as this square one has a awkward layout and missized rooms, one bedroom is a similar size to living room, one is around a third of the size, kitchen is small (but not tiny) bathroom is tiny.

    Never heard of the mind thing, for me I need proper social work support and even respite but cutbacks in years mean its impossible.

    Aaand as we speak OMG sounds like the same extreme level of noise as the party the other day, theres no way its anything but intentional as up to the party the level of noise no matter how bad it ever was was never this loud, even sounded like someone running and jumping on spot whilst laughter then a single stomp on the ground.

    Well theres a chance but its minimal, I mean in the 15 months of living here the noise has never been as loud as that party Monday and that noise as we speak, this is full on.
    • Ames
    • By Ames 14th Feb 18, 9:23 PM
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    Ames
    I think Penitent is right. Given all the problems you've had with neighbours perhaps some kind of supported living is better for you? They might be able to help you deal with your abusive friends better too.

    I don't know how easy it will be to access though.

    If that's not an option and you're not going to get enough points to move perhaps you could look into a mutual exchange?
    Unless I say otherwise 'you' means the general you not you specifically.
    • dekaspace
    • By dekaspace 14th Feb 18, 9:28 PM
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    dekaspace
    I think Penitent is right. Given all the problems you've had with neighbours perhaps some kind of supported living is better for you? They might be able to help you deal with your abusive friends better too.

    I don't know how easy it will be to access though.

    If that's not an option and you're not going to get enough points to move perhaps you could look into a mutual exchange?
    Originally posted by Ames
    Mutual exchange will be fine, but I currently live in a undesirable area, most of the flats that are social housing around me have a lot of migrants especially Eastern European so I doubt its in high demand, put it this way I got it within 2 months of applying, and I have seen flats empty 3-6 months (all ground floor ones as well, maybe another reason why) so doesn't seem to be snapped up fast.
    • Prinzessilein
    • By Prinzessilein 15th Feb 18, 9:15 AM
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    Prinzessilein
    dekaspace...I know how you are feeling! I too am autistic (one of a number of conditions)...

    Some years ago I moved into a lovely flat. I felt I could be happy there...well, what passes for 'happy' with me!.....and for a few months anyway!...then I got a new 'upstairs neighbour', who took drugs, and had VERY loud late night/early morning parties, and the final straw was him getting a dog that he left alone for hours to yowl constantly....added to this was the new neighbour who moved in and had violent ex-partner who turned up regularly despite an order banning her....Music all night, Dog yowling, Screams from next door begging people to call the police...my dream home became a nightmare....

    I contacted the Housing Association...I contacted the Council...I was told that they were aware of the problems, but they were hoping that moving 'troubled' people into this area would give them a fresh start...I was unable to sleep, and my already shaky mental health was spiralling downwards.

    Mediation was offered but getting all parties to agree was impossible...and how does one mediate with someone you have heard through the walls threaten to kill your neighbour? (The police were involved but my neighbour refused to bring any charges)

    In the end...for my own health and sanity, I accepted that I would have to move.

    Best decision ever!!!!

    I went to the council, with help from my GP and a social worker....and they allowed me to move in to a retirement building (despite being about 10 years younger than the 'minimum age!)...it was so different!...quiet (most of the time!....the bingo afternoons could get a bit tense! )...peaceful...and even closer to local amenities than my last place!

    You are clearly not in a good place for your own health...you should seriously consider moving!
    • deannatrois
    • By deannatrois 18th Feb 18, 7:39 PM
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    deannatrois
    I agree, it does look like there is a long history of not being able to cope with what is to others the 'normal' irritants of life. They are still irritating and a bugbear but they realise they aren't going to go away and somehow they minimise the effect. I have no idea how but I do see it in others.

    But not everyone can do that, whether they have ASD or just a personality that will not allow that. And of course, you have a council that dumps people in places that contain these problems 'to see what happens' (so many of them do this) however dire the warnings that some particular tenants won't find the situation workable. Its not right, but can't change that in one fell swoop with the shortage of social housing that exists. Its been going on for decades in spite of the odd report on the cost of this attitude to some tenants.

    So I agree that the best thing is for you to maximise your chances of a liveable property. Just asking for a move is not enough. If you have other physical disabilities, talk about them. Get an OT assessment if one is justified (I've just had one cause I have arthritis and its been my route to get a new kitchen I can actually use that is literally falling apart with a council that won't do even essential repairs).

    Apply for more supportive housing, sheltered housing, whatever. In my area there are much more of them that appear on the bidding list than family properties, but you have to be able to bid on them of course. Such housing should give you what you need, a quieter more settled environment, but it may be smaller than you are used to. But you will need to say whatever you have to to get Housing to allow this. Don't just concentrate on the ASD if there is any other more physical health condition that will help your case. Contact your local councillor, MP etc. Mention discrimination, get an advocate (I have one through SEAPs, look on their website). It may help, it may not, depends on the council. When I write and say things it all seems to go into the round filing cabinet, when my social worker writes to the council they seem to listen, even if they work very slowly. But you do need a social worker who will support you and knows how to get the council to listen. Unfortunately, not all have these skills.
    Last edited by deannatrois; 18-02-2018 at 7:47 PM.
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