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  • FIRST POST
    • onedaysomeday
    • By onedaysomeday 13th Feb 18, 10:25 AM
    • 560Posts
    • 819Thanks
    onedaysomeday
    Debt Free By 2019?
    • #1
    • 13th Feb 18, 10:25 AM
    Debt Free By 2019? 13th Feb 18 at 10:25 AM
    Well - i attempted one diary and failed at that

    Debts are in my signature and have not changed much but trying to juggle repayments with driving lessons and savings for a car - PS first time car insurance judging by quotes - ouch

    The CC has been brought down and back up again as I've paid a chunk and then had to use it again as I used all my disposable to pay the chunk then left nothing for food etc however, silly me has only just sussed out the APR is annual and not monthly - that is embarrassing to admit but now I know I can pay a set amount and not use all of my money and then use the card again.

    So - car insurance is expensive! Did some test quotes cheapest one around 500 upfront and then 80 a month. 80 a month is fine but 500 - ouch. Had I anticipated that I probably could have saved from the start of my lessons to pay it annually in one go but no one mentioned the extortionate insurance

    On the plus side I should have between 500 and 600 for a car by the time I take my test which I didn't want to spend any more than that, so happy just to hopefully hit my target savings.

    That's about all for now - just saying hello on this new diary really
    Last edited by onedaysomeday; 19-04-2018 at 10:04 AM.
    Just trying to make up for past mistakes and work towards the future I want
Page 10
    • onedaysomeday
    • By onedaysomeday 19th Jun 18, 2:30 PM
    • 560 Posts
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    onedaysomeday
    Onto the more positive stuff... solutions (where I have any)

    1) Debts.
    This I know, for the most part, is just a waiting game. I don't have much wiggle room at the moment for the next couple of months to pay out any more than I do. I have a new budget sheet in place starting from next month when my car repairs are done (hopefully for a long while) that incorporates slightly more debt repayments and savings again also, which I had to drop for the last few months. I need to amp up as well how much I am hunting for surveys and ways to make extra little bits to make little overpayments where I can. I honestly don't think any survey money this month has gone on overpayments

    2) Running.
    Again, a waiting game I think. Mainly as OH and I are training for 100km walk and need my foot to hold out as best as I can to be able to do the walk, and any running or high impact may hamper this. Going rate to see a sports injury person about my foot is 35 for the intial consultation and 37 per session afterwards, if I can find some money to put aside I will book in for this

    3) Social Life. I don't really know what to put as a solution here. I'm quite introverted until I get to know people. The only places I go are work, home, gym and to see OH so not sure where I can fit in meeting people there. There are no gym classes outside my work hours. I think this may just have to wait until I get back running

    4) My Job. Again, not much I can do here until I am in a position to take a pay cut. I sit in front of a screen for 10 hours a day, with not a huge amount to do other than take in parcels and deal with any resident's problems that may arise. I'm not very productive and I enjoy being busy.

    5) My Mental Health. I have a telephone appointment coming up with the NHS Wellbeing service to do an assessment over the phone, then I think they try and work out how to help you i.e. counselling etc. I don't know how well this would work around my job is my main concern here, but I am determined to try and make it work!

    6) Again, no answer here. I don't have a passion for anything so unless I stumble across the career of my dreams or one that I am very interested in, I'm out of ideas. I'm just not really where I thought I'd be at 26, most of my school/college friends are in specific fields, getting up the career ladder, etc. Even just an interesting job where I can work my way up to a good paying career would be better than just floating around which is what I seem to do at the minute...

    Not positive the whole way through, but some bits I am stumped on. Suggestions welcome....
    Just trying to make up for past mistakes and work towards the future I want
    • onedaysomeday
    • By onedaysomeday 20th Jun 18, 11:15 AM
    • 560 Posts
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    onedaysomeday
    Feeling a little more positive today

    Had a nice evening with OH last night still having problems moving my car off quickly so we went out and tried a new way of doing it that means I pull away quicker, and he kindly agreed to drive down this morning and be early for work, and take me to his after work as I slept really, really badly and was so tired when the alarm went off I wanted to cry. So hoping for a better nights sleep tonight and a fully awake drive to work in the morning

    Was due to take my car to the garage today for the steering but got calls about various contractors coming today from the bosses yesterday so it was too much hassle to try and arrange a late start and use up my lunch break so re-booked for 1st week of July when I have booked a week off. Will be so much easier. Also means I don't have to reschedule my telephone appointment with NHS Wellbeing today which I was going to have to, to collect my car. Nervous about that, not really one for talking about feelings etc and not really sure what they will ask me, but will come back and update

    Really sat and looked at my budget sheets yesterday, if I'm diligent and actually stick to it, I can start setting aside my savings pots again from payday, 50 to EF, 25 into car maintenance, 15 to medical (dentist, really) and 20 to gifts, and still have 125/150 allowance. I just need some self control!

    Suggested to OH in the new year we start paying into a savings account together starting at around 100pm, should have a minimal debt figure then so should easily be do-able, and increase it after all debts are paid and car insurance has been renewed
    Just trying to make up for past mistakes and work towards the future I want
    • onedaysomeday
    • By onedaysomeday 20th Jun 18, 5:20 PM
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    onedaysomeday
    So my telephone assessment went okay we basically re-did a questionnaire I filled out online when I referred myself, and I scored highly for anxiety etc and we agreed that I would start with online CBT course modules for now due to my working hours in the week, but if it doesn't work we would re-visit what to do going forwards. It's around 7 modules online, one per week, with telephone checkups every couple of weeks with a supporter, so will see how it goes...

    Bit worried to tell OH he is always saying I'm so negative etc etc and I've been saying im trying to sort it out (which has been me trying to be able to have this telephone assessment to get started) so I'm sure he will fully support it, I just know there are people out there that get a bit funny about stuff like this and start thinking something is very wrong with their partner

    We shall see
    Just trying to make up for past mistakes and work towards the future I want
    • lonelyrat
    • By lonelyrat 21st Jun 18, 11:50 AM
    • 496 Posts
    • 1,294 Thanks
    lonelyrat
    Hello lovely sorry I haven't checked in in a few days and sorry that you're feeling down in the dumps What a great idea writing out everything that's stressy and potential solutions. I think that's a very positive step.

    1. Try not to worry too much about your debt. It's something that happened and you're making the right decisions money-wise now and that's what's most important. It's easy to fall into the 'what if' trap - I know I do it all the time - but try and stay away from that train of thought and instead focus on the future. Life can be really hard and people get in debt for so many different reasons and dwelling on what could have been will only bring you down.

    You should feel proud of yourself for the steps your taking now.

    2. The running I'm sure is frustrating (can't quite understand as I don't know how anyone can enjoy it :roftl but it's out of your control. It may be worth it to save up to see the sports injury person. Even if it slows down any debt payments getting yourself physically well is important. Especially if it's something that has such an impact upon your happiness.

    3. This ones a tough one. I'm quite introverted as well and find it hard to make new friends IRL so unfortunately may not be able to offer much help. I sometimes feel a bit down that I only really have OH and a very small number of friends. I could actually count the proper ones on one hand and others are just circumstantial. You will always have me on here though, hope it doesn't put you off posting You may not be able to run at the moment but are there any walking clubs around you? Might be a long shot though

    4. Maybe just see it a means to an end. It pays the bills and allows you to pay off your debt which is awesome.

    5. It's so hard to not compare yourself to others. I'm 27 and can't help comparing myself to other people my age, from school/ uni, from work, OH's sister etc. I totally understand how hard it is to stop yourself focusing on other people's achievements and beating yourself up about it BUT it serves no purpose. We're all different and you never know what's really happening in other peoples life. I think there's a lot of pressure to fit a certain mold by a certain age, but for some people (e.g me!) it isn't realistic. I've recently taken a bit of a break from social media and do think it's helping a little bit.

    Well done on the telephone consultation What a positive step. I'm really proud, I would have found that very, very scary to do so well done indeed! CBT is supposed to be really good and I like the idea that you have telephone support. I would like to look into it as well but got a bit lost on the NHS website. Let me know how you get on with it and if you need anyone to talk to (who is also extremely anxious ) then feel free to send me a message. Not sure what help I would be, but I will always do my darnedest.

    Try not to worry about telling OH. I know it may be hard as there is still a bit of a stigma surrounding mental health but it may help him understand that when he's calling you negative it may not actually be a conscious decision of yours to be that way. I'm sure he will understand and it does affect a lot more people than you would think. At the end of the day you are taking the reigns and trying to improve yourself, what more could anyone want of their partner?

    6. AMEN SISTER!!! I feel ya... It's hard, I always thought when I left Uni I would have a clear goal of what I wanted to do but unfortunately my minds still v. cloudy. I fell into a call center job to pay the bills when my student finance stopped and here I am 3 years later. It's kind of eroded my confidence in myself which is a bit of a shame but I'm working to get that back. I used to beat myself up about it a lot, but now have decided my goal is just to be happy however it happens.

    Well done on taking steps with the gumtree ad. You may not have takers now but that doesn't mean you won't get any. You've took a step in the right direction, don't feel down about it and just keep posting. You'll get a break eventually.

    Chin up you're doing great.
    Total Debt : 1600.00 / 7266.93
    Weight Loss: 20 kg / 45kg
    • onedaysomeday
    • By onedaysomeday 21st Jun 18, 12:39 PM
    • 560 Posts
    • 819 Thanks
    onedaysomeday
    Thank you lonelyrat for stopping by and for all of your very very kind words

    The telephone consultation was hard, I'm not the best about talking about my feelings and I ended up getting upset on the phone but I guess it is all part of the process! I feel a bit calmer today for even having taken that step

    Will talk about it with OH soon, saw him last night but he has a meeting with his big boss about the result of a disciplinary so thought I would wait until he's done stressing about his worries before giving him stuff to digest

    Thank you again for all that you have written! I feel bad that I don't have as much to write back, but feeling pretty calm and mellow today! She did point out that caffeine really does not help with anxiety, so bought some decaf before work this morning to reduce the amount of caffeine without feeling like I am missing out. I know it still has some in, but I drink quite a bit so I think it works out as a big difference across the day

    PS of course it wouldn't stop me posting, it's my saving grace some days knowing I come on here and have you to talk to
    Just trying to make up for past mistakes and work towards the future I want
    • onedaysomeday
    • By onedaysomeday 22nd Jun 18, 10:40 AM
    • 560 Posts
    • 819 Thanks
    onedaysomeday
    Morning MSE!

    Good news on the MSE front but bad news for me front, OH has had to move workplace which means I have had to cancel the weekend away I had booked for his 40th at the end of September. We were going to Italy for the weekend, which I had sneakily arranged a days holiday and his assistant manager had arranged it so he was off on the two days we didn't book. That's all gone out the window now I said I had a booked a days holiday so he either needed to cancel or book the Friday and the Sunday and he's cancelling as he has two other weekends booked off that month.

    So, saves me money but equally very annoying. He has expensive taste and it leaves a bitter taste in my mouth knowing if he was still with ex she would be spending lots of money and taking him away and I frankly cannot afford to do it to their old standard. Guess that's the downside of being in a relationship where I make half the money she does.

    (These kind of thoughts are precisely the reason why I'm starting CBT )

    Back to the drawing board I guess.................................
    Just trying to make up for past mistakes and work towards the future I want
    • efes shareholder
    • By efes shareholder 22nd Jun 18, 10:44 AM
    • 369 Posts
    • 1,000 Thanks
    efes shareholder
    he is your OH because he wants to be , not because of what you can give him materially
    • onedaysomeday
    • By onedaysomeday 22nd Jun 18, 10:48 AM
    • 560 Posts
    • 819 Thanks
    onedaysomeday
    he is your OH because he wants to be , not because of what you can give him materially
    Originally posted by efes shareholder
    I do know that on some level, it's just frustrating to know I can't give him what he used to get. But he also used to get a whole load of stress and unhappiness so I guess I shouldn't compare too much
    Just trying to make up for past mistakes and work towards the future I want
    • lonelyrat
    • By lonelyrat 24th Jun 18, 10:27 AM
    • 496 Posts
    • 1,294 Thanks
    lonelyrat
    Don't worry about getting upset on the phone at all! I bawled like a baby when I went to the doctor a few weeks ago. It was a bit embarrassing at the time (only in my head though probably) but worth it because it's been the first step in getting the help I need.

    I can understand why the situation is frustrating for you... But try and keep reminding yourself that he isn't with his ex, her's with you and that's a choice he's made. And you're awesome, duh
    Total Debt : 1600.00 / 7266.93
    Weight Loss: 20 kg / 45kg
    • onedaysomeday
    • By onedaysomeday 25th Jun 18, 3:21 PM
    • 560 Posts
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    onedaysomeday
    Eventful weekend - ending up driving to OH's Saturday night so that we could have a grownup evening before having the kids the next day - spent most of the day with the kids, and headed home around 7.30 ish - did not make it come until a fair bit later as I came onto a roundabout (all clear on my right) and a bus entered the roundabout from my left massively misjudging whether or not there was enough of a gap for him, and I ended up going into the rear-right corner of it. Luckily a) I'd managed to slow enough to just hit the corner and b) slowed enough that it wasn't a horribly forceful impact but still a massively unpleasant experience.

    Ended up blocking the roundabout so drove down to the next one and turned around and came back up so I could pull over safely at a garage, and by the time I got back the bus (which had stopped) had gone again. However thanks to both of us reporting it online, I managed to retrieve his details for the insurance company.

    OH was an absolute angel, turned his car around 30/40 minutes into his journey up north, came back to where I was, and then drove in front of me the 25-ish miles for me to get home. Couldn't ask for better with him.

    Car is drive-able, bonnet is a bit dented and will need repairing and replacing and have red paint on the front right corner of my car, but that seems to be the extent of it. Insurance people were really nice about it, just waiting to find out who is liable. Pretty sure it will end up being me according to most people as I made contact with the back of his vehicle, and that will really annoy me as it's not like I rear-ended him driving behind him or not leaving a big enough gap, he pulled out across me without observing properly, but we will see. Extremely annoyed that I've had an accident in my car two months into having a license after having done everything I should have done at the roundabout i.e. slowed towards the junction, checked to my right for any oncoming cars, and carried on as nothing was there. Very, very annoying.
    Didn't sleep well so tired and achy today. On the plus side, 20 cash out from PA in progress!
    Just trying to make up for past mistakes and work towards the future I want
    • redofromstart
    • By redofromstart 25th Jun 18, 4:20 PM
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    redofromstart
    Hope you are ok, never mind the car - sounds like a horrid experience.
    • onedaysomeday
    • By onedaysomeday 25th Jun 18, 5:40 PM
    • 560 Posts
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    onedaysomeday
    Wasn't fun but I am mostly okay thanks for asking! Could have been much worse
    Just trying to make up for past mistakes and work towards the future I want
    • onedaysomeday
    • By onedaysomeday 26th Jun 18, 12:30 PM
    • 560 Posts
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    onedaysomeday
    So today I have decided to book an appointment with a sports injury guy recommended by a few of my running club buddies, 35 for an assessment but if it means I actually get back into running and the stress relief that comes with that, then I'm happy to pay that! The appointment is after payday so will work it into next months budget

    Taking the paint off of my car tonight so it looks vaguely okay whilst driving and taking it to the garage for its steering on my week off next week anyway so will ask them for a price regarding the bonnet. As long as it won't randomly ping open whilst driving I'm happy to wait a while to get it done

    Counting down the days to my week off as I am still soooo tired!
    Just trying to make up for past mistakes and work towards the future I want
    • snorfing along
    • By snorfing along 26th Jun 18, 12:33 PM
    • 73 Posts
    • 163 Thanks
    snorfing along
    Sorry to hear about your accident, it sounds awful. I hope you're feeling ok
    Barclaycard: 9645 Tesco: 2765 Halifax 330 Virgin: 3422
    Total debt: 16,162
    • onedaysomeday
    • By onedaysomeday 26th Jun 18, 12:39 PM
    • 560 Posts
    • 819 Thanks
    onedaysomeday
    Sorry to hear about your accident, it sounds awful. I hope you're feeling ok
    Originally posted by snorfing along
    I'm ok thank you weirdly feel good still about driving? I just know to keep an eye on buses at roundabouts more now!
    Just trying to make up for past mistakes and work towards the future I want
    • lonelyrat
    • By lonelyrat 5th Jul 18, 8:54 PM
    • 496 Posts
    • 1,294 Thanks
    lonelyrat
    Oh onedaysomeday! That sounds awful and quite scary. Well done on keeping your cool... I would have probably stayed in the middle of the roundabout and had a nervous breakdown. Glad you are OK though, that's the main thing. Also glad you're feeling good about it... It wasn't your fault so there's nothing for you to question about your skill driving.

    Good idea on the sports injury guy! I think from your posts it's really clear how much you love and miss running and the sooner you can get back to it the better. I am 100% on board and happy with the decision

    When was your week off?? Has it been and gone? So sorry I've been MIA for a bit, silly life getting in the way. Let us know how it gets on with Mr. Sports Injury Guy
    Total Debt : 1600.00 / 7266.93
    Weight Loss: 20 kg / 45kg
    • onedaysomeday
    • By onedaysomeday 9th Jul 18, 10:23 AM
    • 560 Posts
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    onedaysomeday
    I am back from my week off of work, basically just sat in the garden with my feet in the paddling pool reading a book for a week was lovely!

    Sports Injury Guy said when I injured my foot in January the swelling pushed my joints of a few toes out of place a little and they never settled again which is why it didn't get better with rest

    Have to do a few gentle ten minute runs followed by rounds of icing the foot and let him know how I get on, and stretch my toes all the way backwards and forwards. He did some pushing and pulling of various bits of my feet and it felt better to walk on almost straight away! First gentle jog was yesterday and a bit sore today so will be telling him shortly (he said to text after each one to let him know how it was going) but hoping it's normal and I can just stretch through it

    If the runs go fine this week, he said I can get back into it slowly increasing my mileage a whole 10% at a time, so will be slow going building up the miles at the start
    Just trying to make up for past mistakes and work towards the future I want
    • lonelyrat
    • By lonelyrat 9th Jul 18, 2:50 PM
    • 496 Posts
    • 1,294 Thanks
    lonelyrat
    Feet in a paddling pool in the sun with a book actually sounds like heaven to me Very jammy! So glad you saw sports injury guy... Sounds promising You'll be running like you used to in no time! Woohoo
    Total Debt : 1600.00 / 7266.93
    Weight Loss: 20 kg / 45kg
    • onedaysomeday
    • By onedaysomeday 9th Jul 18, 4:13 PM
    • 560 Posts
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    onedaysomeday
    I really hope so! I miss it heaps!
    Just trying to make up for past mistakes and work towards the future I want
    • onedaysomeday
    • By onedaysomeday 10th Jul 18, 11:20 AM
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    onedaysomeday
    Well, having a week off has stuffed my budget for the month already I have enough to pay my bills at that's about it!

    I have been looking into trying to take up a part time job doing maybe a cleaning job but it's hard to fit around working Mon-Fri 8 until 6pm and not give it away to the guys at home that I'm doing a second job. They know how much I make at my full time job and don't know about my debts so I don't want them asking questions. I will have to think about this, and see whether there are actually any jobs that could fit around work and my relationship.
    As a positive, I did receive an email from a German man who would like help checking sentences he has translated into English. The email came through on the 19th but slipped into my spam emails so I have replied to him today and I am hoping that the offer is still there from him!

    Another positive, is that I am halfway through paying my nan back the money she lent me, and after the next payment will be halfway through repaying OH too. Nice to see some milestones. I think I will definitely still have at least 2.5k of debt going into 2019, but that's better than my current total (4528.25). It will be nice in a couple of months when that is below 4k.

    At the moment I am just trying to hound surveys again and make little bits and pieces where I can. I already pay around 400 per month in debt repayments which is nearly a third of my wages so I don't have much scope to pay more unless I increase my income.

    Food for thought I guess, just wanted to acknowledge to myself I am pretty much halfway through two debts to family, and that I'm going to be under 4k soon. Small victories...
    Just trying to make up for past mistakes and work towards the future I want
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