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  • FIRST POST
    • ohbumstoitall
    • By ohbumstoitall 12th Feb 18, 11:10 AM
    • 85Posts
    • 108Thanks
    ohbumstoitall
    I've mucked up. Really badly.
    • #1
    • 12th Feb 18, 11:10 AM
    I've mucked up. Really badly. 12th Feb 18 at 11:10 AM
    I was doing reasonably well, I was keeping afloat and not accruing more debt.

    Since December 1st I've put 10,000 on my Amex. I can't tell you what I've been doing, I feel sick. I have these episodes. I've bought thousands of pounds of makeup, I've bought online services for things I don't need. I've just not stopped.

    It's not interest free, the rest of my debt is but 10k is a quarter now of what I owe. The monthly payment is 400. I can't get a CCJ or go bankrupt because of my job.

    I cannot tell my husband. I categorically cannot tell him. To put it bluntly he will leave me and I'm not telling him. We've been through this many many times before and each time he forgives me. I know the advice will be to tell him but I'm not going to, he's in his last year of university and he will get really stressed, I've made this mess and I'm not going to share it with him.

    I just need to tell someone (ie the internet) and work out how to pay back 10k without using any of the household money. If I don't do this I can see in 4 month's we'll start not having enough money to pay our bills.
Page 3
    • lika_86
    • By lika_86 13th Feb 18, 10:29 PM
    • 1,262 Posts
    • 4,598 Thanks
    lika_86
    I will do a SOA at some point however I actually need to work out first what's going to happen over the next year. For example, husbands last student loan comes in April (2500 or something) but that's already accounted for in YNAB (old ynab) and I'm moving to the new ynab but can't work it out. then once that loans gone he's either got to get a job or do a masters degree, so I just don't know what's happening
    Originally posted by ohbumstoitall
    He has to get a job. He might want to do a Masters but as a couple you can't afford for him to continue to be a student when you are in so much debt.
    • Mnd
    • By Mnd 14th Feb 18, 9:23 AM
    • 503 Posts
    • 607 Thanks
    Mnd
    He has to get a job. He might want to do a Masters but as a couple you can't afford for him to continue to be a student when you are in so much debt.
    Originally posted by lika_86
    Totally agree with this comment, you can't be expected to finance 2 people and the household costs and tackle your debt with no help. Especially if he doesn't know about your debts.it's impossible to do all of these things
    Last edited by Mnd; 14-02-2018 at 9:26 AM.
    • mumofthetwins
    • By mumofthetwins 14th Feb 18, 9:25 AM
    • 1,018 Posts
    • 4,005 Thanks
    mumofthetwins
    With regards to the masters I work in reasearch in a uni with post docs PhD students and masters students and the advice I always give is unless you are doing a masters degree to further study a PhD it's not worth it. I work within the medical sciences faculty so may be dependant upon which field he is in ? X
    DFW
    May 1885/23042
    April 1266.27/25843.54 STF 1500/1500
    NSD 7/15
    MFW OP 2018 400
    GC MAY 78.84/250 April 149.35/250
    • ohbumstoitall
    • By ohbumstoitall 14th Feb 18, 1:04 PM
    • 85 Posts
    • 108 Thanks
    ohbumstoitall
    Sorry I'm a little confused, does you DH make payments from his own budget for the car or does it come out of your joint budget? I'm just wondering who is paying for what debt or if your finances are joint?
    Originally posted by a_silver_lining
    So he brings in around 600 a month from his part time job and then has student finance three times a year (last one is in April).

    I then have my salary minus the lease car. All the money goes into account and everything's paid for out of that. The loan for his car comes out of my personal account but it makes no difference as it's all the same money

    He has to get a job. He might want to do a Masters but as a couple you can't afford for him to continue to be a student when you are in so much debt.
    Originally posted by lika_86
    Well, see this is the thing. He is studying for a degree he isn't going to use as he had a bad experience on a placement and doesn't want to pursue that path. He's interested in Human Resources but has been unable to get on a graduate scheme and has no experience. His degree is totally unrelated and he has worked in retail for 10 years. Hence doing a masters in HR.
    With regards to the masters I work in reasearch in a uni with post docs PhD students and masters students and the advice I always give is unless you are doing a masters degree to further study a PhD it's not worth it. I work within the medical sciences faculty so may be dependant upon which field he is in ? X
    Originally posted by mumofthetwins
    His would be a taught masters with the aim to be able to work in HR. He sent his CV off to a few recruitment agencies who implied he would have no luck.

    They said he could either work in management in retail (but he went to uni to try to get out of retail) or he'd be on a relatively low paid admin job
    • Ian 875
    • By Ian 875 14th Feb 18, 2:25 PM
    • 29 Posts
    • 10 Thanks
    Ian 875
    Well, see this is the thing. He is studying for a degree he isn't going to use as he had a bad experience on a placement and doesn't want to pursue that path. He's interested in Human Resources but has been unable to get on a graduate scheme and has no experience. His degree is totally unrelated and he has worked in retail for 10 years. Hence doing a masters in HR.

    His would be a taught masters with the aim to be able to work in HR. He sent his CV off to a few recruitment agencies who implied he would have no luck.

    They said he could either work in management in retail (but he went to uni to try to get out of retail) or he'd be on a relatively low paid admin job
    Originally posted by ohbumstoitall
    I can't comment on your financial side of things I'm afraid but your husband sounds just like
    me.

    I went from working retail to a 4 year Primary Education degree. At 3 years in I knew it's not what I wanted to do (again, due to a few bad experiences on placements) but I still saw it to the finish. I spent the last year of Uni doing a dissertation (which by that point I had no interest in at all) and using all the other free time to job hunt. It's often been said I don't have any ambition, which I guess is true, I don't have a passion for anything really.

    Having said that, I graduated at 27 and managed to get a job on an IT service Desk (despite having no IT experience really). Have had a career in IT ever since.

    It's not something I'm passionate about, but I work every day and don't bring me work home. It sounds like your husband has the same fear I had of finishing uni and ending up in a job that requires so much out of hours work. Tell him from me, theres stuff out there that's strictly 9 - 5. He won't make as much as a teacher, but he'll be happier!
    • Candyapple
    • By Candyapple 14th Feb 18, 2:46 PM
    • 2,849 Posts
    • 2,174 Thanks
    Candyapple
    Unsecured Debts
    Description....................Debt......Monthly.. .APR
    HSBC...........................5252.98...135...... .0
    Family Loan....................5950......130.......0
    OH DMP.........................9883.17...105.......0
    First Direct Loan..............2577.77...112.......0
    BarclayCard 2..................1210.3....35........0
    Tesco Credit Card..............596.86....25........0
    TSB 03/18......................1325.66...15........0
    Amex...........................11000.....400...... .0
    Halifax Card 03/19.............2449.94...0.........0
    BarclayCard 06/18..............2034.16...0.........0
    Total unsecured debts..........42280.84..957.......-
    Originally posted by ohbumstoitall

    The free versions to check your credit files are below:
    Experian: www.moneysavingexpert.com/creditclub
    Equifax: www.clearscore.com
    Call Credit: www.noddle.co.uk


    Since I gather the majority of these debts are on interest bearing cards, have you tried doing the credit card shuffle first?
    https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/credit-cards/balance-transfer-credit-cards?utm_expid=.eVC13BNmTFGuRInWeIDaRA.0&utm_refe rrer=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.moneysavingexpert.com%2Fcre dit-cards%2Fbad-credit-credit-cards#rule7

    Failing that, have you entered your details into the eligibility checker to see if you can take out a new 0% balance transfer card?

    https://creditcards.moneysavingexpert.com/?balance-transfer&_ga=2.158286707.836260708.1518604827-2100201999.1518604827

    Barclaycard, Halifax and Tesco credit cards you can increase your credit limits online, and all 3 offer regular 0% deals. Barclaycard offer them monthly - log into your online account to check.

    Once you've moved around your debts so hopefully a lot of them will be on 0% interest, use the snowball calculator to work out which debt to pay the most towards in order to pay the least amount in interest and clear your debts.

    http://www.whatsthecost.com/snowball.aspx

    Cut up any cards that you will have cleared the balance from and close them.
    I'm a Board Guide on the Credit Cards, Loans, Credit Files & Ratings boards. I'm a volunteer to help the boards run smoothly, and I can move and merge threads there. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com
    • ohbumstoitall
    • By ohbumstoitall 14th Feb 18, 2:57 PM
    • 85 Posts
    • 108 Thanks
    ohbumstoitall
    I can't comment on your financial side of things I'm afraid but your husband sounds just like
    me.

    I went from working retail to a 4 year Primary Education degree. At 3 years in I knew it's not what I wanted to do (again, due to a few bad experiences on placements) but I still saw it to the finish. I spent the last year of Uni doing a dissertation (which by that point I had no interest in at all) and using all the other free time to job hunt. It's often been said I don't have any ambition, which I guess is true, I don't have a passion for anything really.

    Having said that, I graduated at 27 and managed to get a job on an IT service Desk (despite having no IT experience really). Have had a career in IT ever since.

    It's not something I'm passionate about, but I work every day and don't bring me work home. It sounds like your husband has the same fear I had of finishing uni and ending up in a job that requires so much out of hours work. Tell him from me, theres stuff out there that's strictly 9 - 5. He won't make as much as a teacher, but he'll be happier!
    Originally posted by Ian 875
    You sound exactly like my husband! Can I ask, how you managed to get the job on an IT service desk? Did you have an interest in tech.
    • ohbumstoitall
    • By ohbumstoitall 14th Feb 18, 2:59 PM
    • 85 Posts
    • 108 Thanks
    ohbumstoitall
    The free versions to check your credit files are below:
    Experian: www.moneysavingexpert.com/creditclub
    Equifax: www.clearscore.com
    Call Credit: www.noddle.co.uk


    Since I gather the majority of these debts are on interest bearing cards, have you tried doing the credit card shuffle first?
    https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/credit-cards/balance-transfer-credit-cards?utm_expid=.eVC13BNmTFGuRInWeIDaRA.0&utm_refe rrer=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.moneysavingexpert.com%2Fcre dit-cards%2Fbad-credit-credit-cards#rule7

    Failing that, have you entered your details into the eligibility checker to see if you can take out a new 0% balance transfer card?

    https://creditcards.moneysavingexpert.com/?balance-transfer&_ga=2.158286707.836260708.1518604827-2100201999.1518604827

    Barclaycard, Halifax and Tesco credit cards you can increase your credit limits online, and all 3 offer regular 0% deals. Barclaycard offer them monthly - log into your online account to check.

    Once you've moved around your debts so hopefully a lot of them will be on 0% interest, use the snowball calculator to work out which debt to pay the most towards in order to pay the least amount in interest and clear your debts.

    http://www.whatsthecost.com/snowball.aspx

    Cut up any cards that you will have cleared the balance from and close them.
    Originally posted by Candyapple
    No they are all 0% apart from the Amex and my loan. Everything else at the moment is interest free. I'm just in the process of shuffling from the TSB card to the HSBC card as it's about to run out. Can't decide whether to hold on to the TSB card and hope I get an interest free offer within the next few months or whether to cut it up. I don't think I'll be able to get another card for at least 6 months so worried if I cut it up I might be getting rid of any leeway.
    • Candyapple
    • By Candyapple 14th Feb 18, 3:14 PM
    • 2,849 Posts
    • 2,174 Thanks
    Candyapple
    No they are all 0% apart from the Amex and my loan.Everything else at the moment is interest free. I'm just in the process of shuffling from the TSB card to the HSBC card as it's about to run out. Can't decide whether to hold on to the TSB card and hope I get an interest free offer within the next few months or whether to cut it up. I don't think I'll be able to get another card for at least 6 months so worried if I cut it up I might be getting rid of any leeway.
    Originally posted by ohbumstoitall
    That's good news at least.

    Still heed my advice regarding Barclaycard, Tesco and Halifax. If you can increase your limits on those (assuming you have 0% offers, easy enough to check) then you can at least transfer some of the Amex onto 0% as well.

    TSB don't offer balance transfer deals to existing customers - at least they didn't in my experience when I held a card with them for 3 years. So assuming once you've cleared that balance onto HSBC, I'd close the TSB one as otherwise it will just be an open card and temptation for you to spend if you are feeling weak.
    I'm a Board Guide on the Credit Cards, Loans, Credit Files & Ratings boards. I'm a volunteer to help the boards run smoothly, and I can move and merge threads there. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com
    • ohbumstoitall
    • By ohbumstoitall 14th Feb 18, 3:19 PM
    • 85 Posts
    • 108 Thanks
    ohbumstoitall
    The below is our current monthly budget:

    Parking for University: 30
    Dog Walker: 88 Once a week whilst we're both out all day
    Cleaner: 66I can't clean as I have psoriasis my the ends of my fingers and my OH works nights this just keeps us afloat
    Work Social Club: 10pays for a monthly trip out with my team
    Mobile Phone : 27two mobiles
    TV Licence: 13
    Pet Insurance and Healthcare plan for two dogs: 82 I always feel like this is loads but it covers 2 x insurance and all the flea, worming etc and they trim the dogs nails and we get a healthcheck with a nurse so it's worth it
    Rent: 600 this is cheap for my posh town
    Gas and Electric: 98 high currently as we used more energy this xmas than usual as we had the door open for a while to let the dogs out
    Water: 35 Is what it is! We're on a meter
    Virgin Media Fibre: 28 cheap internet, no tv. we can't have any other internet provider in our property

    Pet Food: 50 the dogs eat a high quality kibble and some tins. They also get YS cooked fish and offcuts from the butchers for free
    Childcare: 60 wrap around care but doesnt cover summer childcare as I don't know what it will be. currently paying half term childcare out of my childcare vouchers that I saved
    Car Maintenance and Tax: 30we have 2 cars but only pay for 1 as the rest is in my lease
    Home Maintenance: 25various things
    Home Insurance: 10cheapest i can get it
    Medical 20prescriptions for me
    Clothing 20the minimum we can get away with
    Gifts 10large family and OH refuses not to give gifts so I do it on the cheap
    Giving 2RSPCA
    Stuff I forgot to budget for 50 also emergency fund
    Debt payments 1030.86yup
    Spotify 4.99 Instead of buying music we have one spotify student account that we share
    Pocket Money to cover uni expenses for myself, OH and school trips 110 50 each plus 10 for school trips

    Total 2499.85.

    So if I'm looking at March to July. that comes to 12499.25
    We'll bring it 11744.

    However I know I'm going to get a 1000 bonus in May or June. And also a salary increase in April. So we should be able to make it til July. In the meantime I can do my best to bring that Amex down. And if in July there is no chance we can survive for the next year I can consider a DMP for myself.
    • marliepanda
    • By marliepanda 14th Feb 18, 3:23 PM
    • 5,621 Posts
    • 11,784 Thanks
    marliepanda
    Am I misreading or do you have nothing on there for food?

    Contents insurance? (actually Im guessing thats down as home insurance? Home usually covers building as well, can you get a cheaper contents only one as you shouldnt be paying to cover your landlords property)

    Car insurance?

    Unfortunately there are a lot of things on there that are luxuries, the cleaner (can you not use rubber gloves) spotify, the pocket money even, RSPCA money. You will need to make sacrifices if you want to save money...

    Also seconding the ebay link for any skincare you want to sell
    Last edited by marliepanda; 14-02-2018 at 3:26 PM.
    • SuperMoose
    • By SuperMoose 14th Feb 18, 3:34 PM
    • 97 Posts
    • 329 Thanks
    SuperMoose
    A prescription repayment certificate will save you money if the prescriptions in your budget are just for you.
    https://www.nhs.uk/NHSEngland/Healthcosts/Pages/PPC.aspx#

    The only food in your budget is for your dogs - do you make stews and share?
    • ohbumstoitall
    • By ohbumstoitall 14th Feb 18, 3:52 PM
    • 85 Posts
    • 108 Thanks
    ohbumstoitall
    That's good news at least.

    Still heed my advice regarding Barclaycard, Tesco and Halifax. If you can increase your limits on those (assuming you have 0% offers, easy enough to check) then you can at least transfer some of the Amex onto 0% as well.

    TSB don't offer balance transfer deals to existing customers - at least they didn't in my experience when I held a card with them for 3 years. So assuming once you've cleared that balance onto HSBC, I'd close the TSB one as otherwise it will just be an open card and temptation for you to spend if you are feeling weak.
    Originally posted by Candyapple
    Yes Barclaycard I know do it, I've got 600 "free" on the BC at the moment but obviously that doesn't really help at the moment. No offers I can see at the moment. I'll close the TSB one down as that will reduce my available credit which is a good thing. Doesn't help my ratio though but not sure anything would help apart from winning the lottery. I do have a halifax offer but no credit to transfer unfortunately.
    • lika_86
    • By lika_86 14th Feb 18, 3:58 PM
    • 1,262 Posts
    • 4,598 Thanks
    lika_86
    Well, see this is the thing. He is studying for a degree he isn't going to use as he had a bad experience on a placement and doesn't want to pursue that path. He's interested in Human Resources but has been unable to get on a graduate scheme and has no experience. His degree is totally unrelated and he has worked in retail for 10 years. Hence doing a masters in HR.

    His would be a taught masters with the aim to be able to work in HR. He sent his CV off to a few recruitment agencies who implied he would have no luck.

    They said he could either work in management in retail (but he went to uni to try to get out of retail) or he'd be on a relatively low paid admin job
    Originally posted by ohbumstoitall
    If he doesn't have any experience in HR then how does he know he wants to do it? What if he has a bad experience and decides against it? He'll have spent another 10k+ doing another useless qualification and racking up more debt. There are HR jobs which aren't at graduate scheme level. He needs to look for an entry level job, earn some money, decide if it's for him and maybe, if absolutely necessary, look for a part-time course to complete whilst working.
    • ohbumstoitall
    • By ohbumstoitall 14th Feb 18, 4:04 PM
    • 85 Posts
    • 108 Thanks
    ohbumstoitall
    Am I misreading or do you have nothing on there for food?

    Contents insurance? (actually Im guessing thats down as home insurance? Home usually covers building as well, can you get a cheaper contents only one as you shouldnt be paying to cover your landlords property)

    Car insurance?

    Unfortunately there are a lot of things on there that are luxuries, the cleaner (can you not use rubber gloves) spotify, the pocket money even, RSPCA money. You will need to make sacrifices if you want to save money...

    Also seconding the ebay link for any skincare you want to sell
    Originally posted by marliepanda
    Whoops! 400 for food and petrol. Ok well that increases that shortfall considerably from 700 ish to 2700. Oh "shoot"

    Home insurance is contents insurance. 10 is fairly cheap though? Car insurance isn't due until November, I should have added it in though.

    The cleaner - no I can't use rubber gloves. It used to be just down to my husband to do the cleaning but he just can't do it. I don't want to be sexist and say its a man thing but....

    I literally have only had a cleaner since I got the condition, I never used one before. As an example, my thumb throbs when I'm not touching anything, I have a crack down the side of it and constantly have to bind my fingers to stop the skin splitting further. It's honestly horrific, you know when you see frostbite in films - its like that without the swelling. It's called psoriasis palmoplantaris.

    Spotify is a luxury you are correct. But it's one that costs very little and brings us quite a lot of joy, we're that family that drives alone singing to songs we like. Even the 6 year old joins in.
    The pocket money isn't actually pocket money, it is required. Husband uses it to buy his books for university if he can't get them at a library. Considering the price of a psychology text book he does really well. I also am studying and use mine for books and moving forward will cover my toiletries out of it.
    • ohbumstoitall
    • By ohbumstoitall 14th Feb 18, 4:05 PM
    • 85 Posts
    • 108 Thanks
    ohbumstoitall
    If he doesn't have any experience in HR then how does he know he wants to do it? What if he has a bad experience and decides against it? He'll have spent another 10k+ doing another useless qualification and racking up more debt. There are HR jobs which aren't at graduate scheme level. He needs to look for an entry level job, earn some money, decide if it's for him and maybe, if absolutely necessary, look for a part-time course to complete whilst working.
    Originally posted by lika_86
    He did two weeks work experience and enjoyed it, I meant no experience as in hasn't worked in it
    • bertiewhite
    • By bertiewhite 14th Feb 18, 4:23 PM
    • 1,062 Posts
    • 1,179 Thanks
    bertiewhite
    Dog Walker: 88 Once a week whilst we're both out all day
    Originally posted by ohbumstoitall
    Is this really necessary? On the rare occasions I have had to leave my dogs alone during the day, I've walked them before I go to work and then as soon as I get home.

    Pet Food: 50 the dogs eat a high quality kibble and some tins. They also get YS cooked fish and offcuts from the butchers for free
    Originally posted by ohbumstoitall
    Have you tried Dr. John's kibble? We go through a 15kg bag every 2 weeks (11.49 each) and we have 2 x giant breeds.
    • ramblehan
    • By ramblehan 14th Feb 18, 4:31 PM
    • 592 Posts
    • 1,217 Thanks
    ramblehan
    Hi,
    Is there any reason why you would want to get credit / more credit again?
    To me it feels like you should just bite the bullet and go into a DMP. Cut your payments down to a realistic level and run a budget which works for you all so that you can live and not struggle. If you are going to get to this point in July possibly anyway, you might as well start now, as the sooner you can get the ball rolling and get things defaulted, the sooner the defaulted debts will drop off your credit file.

    Hugs to you.
    • ohbumstoitall
    • By ohbumstoitall 14th Feb 18, 4:36 PM
    • 85 Posts
    • 108 Thanks
    ohbumstoitall
    Is this really necessary? On the rare occasions I have had to leave my dogs alone during the day, I've walked them before I go to work and then as soon as I get home.

    Have you tried Dr. John's kibble? We go through a 15kg bag every 2 weeks (11.49 each) and we have 2 x giant breeds.
    Originally posted by bertiewhite
    Both dogs are 10 months old, one is a spaniel and the other is a terrier. They only have run of the living room and destroy things if left alone too long. I have a dog walker just for the Monday, they are alone on other days but for shorter periods. We're out of the house from 8am on a Monday to 4pm and it would be unfair to crate them for that long. If I was to leave them in the house without a walk they'd rip the sofa apart. They're out for two hours and then pass out in their crates until OH gets home.

    I'm really picky about dog food, it's got to be grain free, potato free blah blah. I'm a dog food snob. I didn't even realise that 40 for 10kg was expensive......But, having said that you don't need to give them much because it's got so little filler (in fact no filler). I use Akela

    The 50 includes kibble, meat, training treats and any toys (they destroy toys).


    I can definitely see there are areas that most of you think I am wasting money on and I will take that on board and have a think about it. Unfortunately the cleaner makes my quality of life a lot better than living in a filthy house and the dog walker is because I just don't think I can leave the dogs for that long at 10 months old.
    • lika_86
    • By lika_86 14th Feb 18, 4:38 PM
    • 1,262 Posts
    • 4,598 Thanks
    lika_86
    Just a thought, could you do something like Borrowmydoggy for the day you're out?
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