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  • FIRST POST
    • dibblethetiler
    • By dibblethetiler 6th Feb 18, 11:56 PM
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    dibblethetiler
    ex wont release me from mortgage
    • #1
    • 6th Feb 18, 11:56 PM
    ex wont release me from mortgage 6th Feb 18 at 11:56 PM
    Hi people,
    I'm in need of advice.....
    I separated from my wife, 4 years ago. We have a joint mortgage, and I live currently with Parents, while she lives in our house with our 3 kids.
    I need to provide a home for when I have the children, but she's playing hard ball, and not letting me move on.
    I'm now thinking about forcing a house sell to release funds...
    Any thoughts?...
Page 1
    • Savvy_Sue
    • By Savvy_Sue 7th Feb 18, 12:55 AM
    • 38,390 Posts
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    Savvy_Sue
    • #2
    • 7th Feb 18, 12:55 AM
    • #2
    • 7th Feb 18, 12:55 AM
    Apply for a divorce and ask for the house to be dealt with as part of the finances?
    Still knitting!
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    • dibblethetiler
    • By dibblethetiler 7th Feb 18, 1:12 AM
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    dibblethetiler
    • #3
    • 7th Feb 18, 1:12 AM
    • #3
    • 7th Feb 18, 1:12 AM
    Have used the services of a solicitor to do basics on financial statements. but because my wife is being difficult, I've been quoted 5500 to proceed with a court hearing.
    Hence the reason for a settlement between us... without costly fees from so called professionals.
    More like robbers, without the masks.
    • Tabbytabitha
    • By Tabbytabitha 7th Feb 18, 7:51 AM
    • 1,971 Posts
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    Tabbytabitha
    • #4
    • 7th Feb 18, 7:51 AM
    • #4
    • 7th Feb 18, 7:51 AM
    Does she have enough income to cover the mortgage and buy you out?
    • PasturesNew
    • By PasturesNew 7th Feb 18, 7:54 AM
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    PasturesNew
    • #5
    • 7th Feb 18, 7:54 AM
    • #5
    • 7th Feb 18, 7:54 AM
    It's unclear what you expect.

    She can't "release you from the mortgage". That is not an option available to her at all. You/her, combined, have an agreement with a mortgage company for a mortgage.

    The only way for you to not be connected with it any more is for her to re-mortgage the property in her name only (or her/family/friends) - in short, she has to raise a new mortgage that pays off the one you/her share.

    Does she have the ability to raise a mortgage alone or with family/friends?
    • dibblethetiler
    • By dibblethetiler 7th Feb 18, 8:45 AM
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    dibblethetiler
    • #6
    • 7th Feb 18, 8:45 AM
    • #6
    • 7th Feb 18, 8:45 AM
    we've been to the mortgage provider, to ask about her taking the mortgage on. they've said that she's unable to as " the computer says no", although it's clear she can through wages and tax credits, etc. In fact, we both can't afford to pay the mortgage going on their criteria... even thogh we are.
    • elsien
    • By elsien 7th Feb 18, 8:51 AM
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    elsien
    • #7
    • 7th Feb 18, 8:51 AM
    • #7
    • 7th Feb 18, 8:51 AM
    Have you tried mediation? Generally you would need to do this before going to court anyway. It's not just about the house, it's about a full financial settlement taking everything else into account.
    All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

    Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.
    • peachyprice
    • By peachyprice 7th Feb 18, 9:07 AM
    • 19,239 Posts
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    peachyprice
    • #8
    • 7th Feb 18, 9:07 AM
    • #8
    • 7th Feb 18, 9:07 AM
    we've been to the mortgage provider, to ask about her taking the mortgage on. they've said that she's unable to as " the computer says no", although it's clear she can through wages and tax credits, etc. In fact, we both can't afford to pay the mortgage going on their criteria... even thogh we are.
    Originally posted by dibblethetiler
    There is no 'being released from a mortgage' other than the other party being able to remortgage, end of. It's not her fault she can't remortgage in her own name, it's now her 'playing hardball' it's a fact.

    If you go to court to force a sale the ages of the children will be taken in to account, it's extremely unlikely that any judge will force a sale if school age children are living in the home.

    The only solution of to reach an agreement to sell the house and both either purchase new properties you can afford or rent.
    Accept your past without regret, handle your present with confidence and face your future without fear
    • elsien
    • By elsien 7th Feb 18, 9:09 AM
    • 16,190 Posts
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    elsien
    • #9
    • 7th Feb 18, 9:09 AM
    • #9
    • 7th Feb 18, 9:09 AM
    Depends on the size of the house and its value, surely?
    The court would look at the needs (not wants) of both parties and if these could be met by selling and each buying a smaller property then that would also be considered as an option.
    All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

    Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.
    • gettingtheresometime
    • By gettingtheresometime 7th Feb 18, 9:53 AM
    • 3,522 Posts
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    gettingtheresometime
    As others have said, the only way for you to be released from the mortgage is your wife takes on the mortgage in her sole name or you both sell up, pay off the mortgage & split the equity in whatever way you agree upon.


    The lending criteria for mortgages have drastically altered - no longer are they lending to anyone for any amount they want....remember 2008?


    The only alternative I can think of is that she goes to a mortgage broker and sees if there is any other provider that could help but I would guess that there are costs involved in that.
    Lloyds OD / Natwest OD / PO CC / Wescott / Argos Card cleared thanks to the 1 debt v 100 day challenge


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    • pimento
    • By pimento 7th Feb 18, 1:39 PM
    • 5,343 Posts
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    pimento
    Move back in. If nothing else it would concentrate her mind.
    "If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." -- Red Adair
    • Seanymph
    • By Seanymph 7th Feb 18, 2:24 PM
    • 2,668 Posts
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    Seanymph
    What a difficult situation - I had the same once, my ex partner did not earn enough to satisfy the mortgage company to enable him to take it into his name, so they kept me on it (no incentive for them really!)....

    It won't cost you 5,500k for the divorce, no matter how difficult she is! Try a different solictor, and take comfort that it may well save you more than that in the long run.

    I'm afraid that it seems you are not providing a room for your ex wife alone, but also for your children, which seems very reasonable - however I do understand your frustration.

    It is always worth finalising these things, and getting a legally binding agreement - only then will you really be able to move on.
    • TBagpuss
    • By TBagpuss 7th Feb 18, 2:47 PM
    • 6,444 Posts
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    TBagpuss
    Well, it could easily cost 5,500 for a divorce and financial settlement, If they can't reach an agreement, going all the way to a fully contested final hearing could be well above that, but it won't all be at once. Solicitors are required to give information about costs and most, for something like a financial settlement where the costs vary a lot, will give a range based on an average case. A divorce alone would be a lot less but a divorce alone isn't much use to OP, he wants a financial settlement.

    I'd suggest that you get some proper advice from a solicitor, first, so you are clear about your options and how to acheive the outcome you want.

    You can then self-refer for mediation and see whether you can reach agreement with your ex, and then go back to your solicitor if you are not able to reach an agreement.

    As others have said, your ex can't take you of the mortgage. She can agree to sell the hosue, so you can both move on. Could she buy someone suitable for the chilnre if that happend? If not, a court may decide that allowing her to stay in the house, even if that means you have to rent in the mean time, is the best option to meet the children's needs.

    Can she afford the mortgage and other outgoings at present?

    Has she seen an independent mortgage broker, not just your current lender?
    • peachyprice
    • By peachyprice 7th Feb 18, 5:05 PM
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    peachyprice
    Depends on the size of the house and its value, surely?
    The court would look at the needs (not wants) of both parties and if these could be met by selling and each buying a smaller property then that would also be considered as an option.
    Originally posted by elsien
    The needs of the three children will come first. A court won't force a sale of an average family home so that the two adults can buy a two bedroom home each leaving the children sharing one bedroom between them, no matter what the 'wants' of the parents are.

    But that's not to say OP should still be paying the mortgage on a house he's not living in along with full child support.
    Accept your past without regret, handle your present with confidence and face your future without fear
    • pinkshoes
    • By pinkshoes 7th Feb 18, 6:27 PM
    • 15,676 Posts
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    pinkshoes
    Move back in. If nothing else it would concentrate her mind.
    Originally posted by pimento
    ^^^^^ This!

    Just move back in!

    I can only suggest you share the house so you share custody of the kids.

    You could always have the house for two weeks each and the other lives elsewhere during this time!
    Should've = Should HAVE (not 'of')
    Would've = Would HAVE (not 'of')

    No, I am not perfect, but yes I do judge people on their use of basic English language. If you didn't know the above, then learn it! (If English is your second language, then you are forgiven!)
    • rpc
    • By rpc 8th Feb 18, 12:42 PM
    • 2,303 Posts
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    rpc
    But that's not to say OP should still be paying the mortgage on a house he's not living in along with full child support.
    Originally posted by peachyprice
    And why should OP remain (jointly and severally) on the hook for the mortgage? The ex can stop paying and completely trash OP's credit record (possibly without OP finding out as he won't live in the house).

    Courts don't want to make children homeless, but they also don't like leaving people on mortgages indefinitely. It will depend on the specific circumstances and overall financial situation.
    • Red-Squirrel
    • By Red-Squirrel 8th Feb 18, 12:48 PM
    • 2,576 Posts
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    Red-Squirrel
    Move back in. If nothing else it would concentrate her mind.
    Originally posted by pimento
    Such a !!!! move though.
    • peachyprice
    • By peachyprice 8th Feb 18, 3:19 PM
    • 19,239 Posts
    • 44,506 Thanks
    peachyprice
    And why should OP remain (jointly and severally) on the hook for the mortgage? The ex can stop paying and completely trash OP's credit record (possibly without OP finding out as he won't live in the house).

    Courts don't want to make children homeless, but they also don't like leaving people on mortgages indefinitely. It will depend on the specific circumstances and overall financial situation.
    Originally posted by rpc
    No, you're right they wouldn't leave someone on the mortgage indefinitely, it's usually until the youngest has finished full-time education if no other agreement can be reached.
    Accept your past without regret, handle your present with confidence and face your future without fear
    • gingercordial
    • By gingercordial 8th Feb 18, 3:32 PM
    • 1,131 Posts
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    gingercordial
    OP, think it through this way.

    How much equity is in the property now? Deduct something for selling fees.

    Assume (for the moment) you agree to sell the property and your wife gets 50% of the equity. That is her deposit for a new house.

    How much would a smaller house cost where she lives that is big enough for her and the three kids?

    Using the deposit from the sale of your current house, would she be able to get a mortgage for the amount she would need to buy this house? Remember to include stamp duty.

    If the answer is no, would it make a difference if you gave her more of the equity? What if you gave her all of it, could she get a mortgage for a suitable house then? If so this may be the best way for you to present this. OK, you don't get any equity, but if you can persuade her to sell you would at least get off the current mortgage.

    If there's no way she could get a mortgage on her own for a suitable property, even if you gave her all the equity, then it's unlikely a judge would order the house to be sold because the kids do need somewhere to live and at the moment that is what they have. But it will depend on the specifics.
    • Fireflyaway
    • By Fireflyaway 8th Feb 18, 3:44 PM
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    Fireflyaway
    Legally I have no idea but I'd want to remove myself from the mortgage. What if your ex wife doesn't pay and the house is repossessed?
    Can you sell and she could move to a cheaper place? I don't see why she is entitled to stay there? So long as you pay towards the kids upkeep I don't see why you should do more than that.
    Get legal advice.
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