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  • FIRST POST
    • dekaspace
    • By dekaspace 5th Feb 18, 7:58 PM
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    dekaspace
    What would you do about neighbour I have suspicion
    • #1
    • 5th Feb 18, 7:58 PM
    What would you do about neighbour I have suspicion 5th Feb 18 at 7:58 PM
    Not sure if this is best board but as they are neighbour thought I would give it a try.

    In the 14 months I have lived here, have flare ups of very extreme noise, last Easter I politely spoke to neighbour who explained she does shift work, she had a religious festival on and that was why I had 18 HOURS of noise including admitting there was 20 kids in bedroom playing all that time. She told me the regular noise was that she did shift work and her husband babysat the kids she tried shifting the blame and said it was the couple above her that was making the noise, and confusing and contradictory statements admitting guilt then saying it was neighbours or her visitors kids and the "kids will be kids" line

    It calmed a little and then over summer near went silent apart from when they came back from day trips for about 15-30 minutes so tolerable.

    Escalated again after summer especially at weekends, she ignored me knocking on door until I got council involved a few weeks before Christmas and they posted a letter through her door a few days after New Year, and she came to my door and apologised but then changed her stories, the man she used to claim was her husband now became the "babysitter" and the noise from him was because he is deaf in one ear and speaks loud because of that and walks heavier, and as before blaming neighbours, and her own friends kids, and what sounded like sympathy story telling me she is single mother, and at same time telling me she is "babysitting" a newborn puppy (that just so happened to be given to her Christmas Eve)


    All goes quiet for 3 weeks then every night for past 8 days is noisy and she had a birthday party Saturday night that finished at 4.30am, and I hear dog barking a few times over weekend, and what sounds like pacing about and walking into furniture, been in severe stress for past for days and tonight went up to her flat, knocked on door and child voice said something, then when I didn't answer a loud male voice said the same thing (either who is it, or come in)

    I go back downstairs and she is walking in as I get to bottom I speak to her and she confuses again shifting blame onto her neighbours, or her friends kids but now saying things like I can't be hearing dog barking, and her babysitter is female, and the screaming I heard multiple times earlier is her female friend who likes to drink heavy (yet shes the babysitter!!) and the male voice I hear is the flat above hers. then backtracking one moment admitting the noise like having a party then claiming that night was working night shift, then admitting party again, then saying night shift.

    But hold on when I knocked on her door it was a adult male voice that was behind the door!!!

    And the first time I spoke to her she told me she was Italian, 2nd time she said she was Polish, this time she said she was Polish but then in same conversation said she was Italian and now she also says the reason why she still has dog (without me even asking her) is her Polish friend has decided to stay in Poland and not come back, big coincidence!

    After she went back in, now its silence as if a miracle and the voices are like whispers!

    Am I being treated like a mug?

    And either way I am suspicious of the husband/babysitter/invisible man as maybe shes doing some form of benefit fraud?! If so what would you do?!

    Its a council property in Scotland by the way, and laminate and pets/dogs are banned.

    And if anyone things I am a soft touch, I am a autistic male, with mental health problems and severe anxiety.
Page 2
    • glasgowdan
    • By glasgowdan 6th Feb 18, 1:12 PM
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    glasgowdan
    I apologise for choice of words ... i did edit it as soon as i typed it as you can see. But i don't know you or why you have tried to make the neighbours private life your knowledge. I would really not approach her again and keep things official.
    Last edited by glasgowdan; 06-02-2018 at 2:29 PM.
    • dekaspace
    • By dekaspace 6th Feb 18, 6:32 PM
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    dekaspace
    I think you need to find somewhere more isolated to live, you're making life as difficult for your neighbours as they are for you
    Originally posted by Comms69

    Im so sorry that I am a considerate neighbour and have been kept awake to 4.30am on more than one occasion by HER having a party.


    Im so sorry that I nicely let it slide and the times I have gone to speak to her AS SHE TOLD ME TO DO, she doesn't answer the door,


    Im so sorry as she admitted she never hears any noise from me at all.


    Im so sorry that I was woken at 8.30am on MY DAY OFF by kids screaming and running about on laminate flooring which is BANNED


    Im so sorry that I have to put up with her having a dog which is BANNED in new council tenancies.


    Im so sorry that when she has guests round with kids my lightshade shakes back and forth and stuff falls out of cupboards


    Everythings my fault right?!
    • dekaspace
    • By dekaspace 6th Feb 18, 6:35 PM
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    dekaspace
    If she is lying to you its because you've asked questions she doesn't want to give honest answers to, not to trick you or question your intelligence. I suspect she would prefer you didn't ask.
    If noise is a problem and she is breaking benefit or housing rules she is likely to be quieter to prevent further problems.
    I've had benefit fraud neighbours and neighbours growing cannabis, doubtful they would admit to me what they were doing. Some people have secrets, don't be insulted if they don't share them with you.
    Originally posted by Norman Castle

    I never asked on the occasions we spoke specifically about men though, she told me she had a husband that babysat, on the 2nd occasion I said I hear the kids come in from school and she said thats her (male) babysitter so both times it was her that told me it was a male looking after the kids the 2nd time she said "hes deaf in one ear so speaks loudly and thats what (you) hear"



    The third time I said I heard a male voice, I guess thats your babysitter she was very defensive and went she never has male guests which I only said as she herself told me the previous time her babysitter was male so yeah I only went by her previous comments.



    Im not insulted by them lying as much as annoyed me getting told its none of my business, I don't care if she has guests round every day. male or female.


    On a side note just in 10 minutes and I am hearing multiple voices upstairs and kid crying.


    She had no problem asking about my friends that came round though.


    But her reasoning for the party was that her friends showed up unnanounced and she couldn't turn them away, she kept shifting the time they arrived from 10pm-11pm, then said they went at 1am, but each time saying they left at 4.30am. she admitted they were heavily drunk but again went "but it was my birthday" so all that I "asked" was me saying I heard noise and assuming it was her babysitter, but in our oriignal chat last year I knocked on door and said "oh I heard noise last few days" and she straight away went "we wear slippers, see there they are" I never mentioned what type of noise it was so she must of known that.



    That was the insulting the intelligence thing as she kept contradicting herself, but also shifting blame.


    I honestly don't care about the secrets but being fobbed off and the fact she seems to be so obsessed with.saying its the other neighbour



    I mean its a very rare chance that its a very deep voiced female or two up there


    But the main reason I worry is that if I make a complaint this 6foot5 guy who looks like a bodybuilder will cause problems, when we were supposed to have mediation she told me she couldn't attend and she was sending her male friend round.


    But as I type that, hold on she told me she doesn't have any male friends or guests.
    • Cakeguts
    • By Cakeguts 6th Feb 18, 7:03 PM
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    Cakeguts
    I never asked on the occasions we spoke specifically about men though, she told me she had a husband that babysat, on the 2nd occasion I said I hear the kids come in from school and she said thats her (male) babysitter so both times it was her that told me it was a male looking after the kids the 2nd time she said "hes deaf in one ear so speaks loudly and thats what (you) hear"



    The third time I said I heard a male voice, I guess thats your babysitter she was very defensive and went she never has male guests which I only said as she herself told me the previous time her babysitter was male so yeah I only went by her previous comments.



    Im not insulted by them lying as much as annoyed me getting told its none of my business, I don't care if she has guests round every day. male or female.


    On a side note just in 10 minutes and I am hearing multiple voices upstairs and kid crying.


    She had no problem asking about my friends that came round though.


    But her reasoning for the party was that her friends showed up unnanounced and she couldn't turn them away, she kept shifting the time they arrived from 10pm-11pm, then said they went at 1am, but each time saying they left at 4.30am. she admitted they were heavily drunk but again went "but it was my birthday" so all that I "asked" was me saying I heard noise and assuming it was her babysitter, but in our oriignal chat last year I knocked on door and said "oh I heard noise last few days" and she straight away went "we wear slippers, see there they are" I never mentioned what type of noise it was so she must of known that.



    That was the insulting the intelligence thing as she kept contradicting herself, but also shifting blame.


    I honestly don't care about the secrets but being fobbed off and the fact she seems to be so obsessed with.saying its the other neighbour



    I mean its a very rare chance that its a very deep voiced female or two up there


    But the main reason I worry is that if I make a complaint this 6foot5 guy who looks like a bodybuilder will cause problems, when we were supposed to have mediation she told me she couldn't attend and she was sending her male friend round.


    But as I type that, hold on she told me she doesn't have any male friends or guests.
    Originally posted by dekaspace
    Did you have the mediation? If it is supposed to between you and her she can't send someone else.

    Everyone finds it annoying when people lie but people who lie are not going to stop and you can't make them so the best thing to do is to ignore the lies and concentrate on what you want which is a reduction in the noise.
    • dekaspace
    • By dekaspace 6th Feb 18, 7:09 PM
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    dekaspace
    Did you have the mediation? If it is supposed to between you and her she can't send someone else.

    Everyone finds it annoying when people lie but people who lie are not going to stop and you can't make them so the best thing to do is to ignore the lies and concentrate on what you want which is a reduction in the noise.
    Originally posted by Cakeguts

    Im worried about going on my own, I have just been given a mental health advocate so likely they can help me but the neighbour herself told me originally she was going (with the 6 foot 5 guy) then sending the 6 foot 5 guy alone, either way felt bad for me.


    As we speak in last few mintues heard people come in and past minute dog barking and obvious male voice.


    Really do feel like she is taking the mickey.
    • Cakeguts
    • By Cakeguts 6th Feb 18, 7:11 PM
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    Cakeguts
    Im worried about going on my own, I have just been given a mental health advocate so likely they can help me but the neighbour herself told me originally she was going (with the 6 foot 5 guy) then sending the 6 foot 5 guy alone, either way felt bad for me.


    As we speak in last few mintues heard people come in and past minute dog barking and obvious male voice.


    Really do feel like she is taking the mickey.
    Originally posted by dekaspace
    Well now is the time to get recording the sound of the dog barking and the rest of the noise.
    • dekaspace
    • By dekaspace 7th Feb 18, 7:18 PM
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    dekaspace
    Updating in part to vent, forgot to say she claimed she would be away Wednesday-Sunday this week, but today the noise is as bad as the party at weekend, no doubt its male voices now, heard kids laughter then adult laughter and then dog bark then a female scream "SHUT UP"

    For past 30 minutes since I walked through door its been dog barking multiple times, sounds like group of people walking about, obvious as its loud male laughter.
    • Cakeguts
    • By Cakeguts 7th Feb 18, 7:25 PM
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    Cakeguts
    Updating in part to vent, forgot to say she claimed she would be away Wednesday-Sunday this week, but today the noise is as bad as the party at weekend, no doubt its male voices now, heard kids laughter then adult laughter and then dog bark then a female scream "SHUT UP"

    For past 30 minutes since I walked through door its been dog barking multiple times, sounds like group of people walking about, obvious as its loud male laughter.
    Originally posted by dekaspace
    Hope you are recording all of this. Sounds as if you need a recording device from the council?
    • dekaspace
    • By dekaspace 7th Feb 18, 10:14 PM
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    dekaspace
    I think council wants mediation to happen first then see what happens, maybe that way so theres a official confirmation noise will stop.

    Though council has a weekend out of hours warden service that can witness noise, all i'd worry there is if they are noisy unless its like non stop and at its worst levels it may seem like everyday noise.
    • Cakeguts
    • By Cakeguts 7th Feb 18, 10:46 PM
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    Cakeguts
    I think council wants mediation to happen first then see what happens, maybe that way so theres a official confirmation noise will stop.

    Though council has a weekend out of hours warden service that can witness noise, all i'd worry there is if they are noisy unless its like non stop and at its worst levels it may seem like everyday noise.
    Originally posted by dekaspace
    Call them out if the noise is at its worst levels and has been going on for some time.
    • iltisman
    • By iltisman 8th Feb 18, 12:59 AM
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    iltisman
    Sounds hopeless leave , https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y7QhxklIKbw
    It's only my cheerfulness that keeps me going
    • Beardmidget
    • By Beardmidget 8th Feb 18, 11:54 AM
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    Beardmidget
    It!!!8217;s part of my professional responsibility to see through people!!!8217;s lies and make a judgment about what is really going on, but I can!!!8217;t make them tell me the truth, any more than you can.

    I sometimes (politely, professionally) let them know that I know what they are trying to sell me a load of codswallop, but that is usually in the same sentence as informing them that I am going to act on my suspicion.

    In my personal life, I obviously still see through people!!!8217;s obfuscation, but then I just smile and nod, because there is absolutely nothing I can do about it.
    • dekaspace
    • By dekaspace 11th Feb 18, 2:27 PM
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    dekaspace
    For past 3 hours I have heard multiple male voices laughing, clapping, "whooping" and stomping as well as some running.

    So much for her away till tonight! Either she was lying or she gave her spare keys to "friends" who are using it as a place to crash and be noisy. Fed up with this, its not be being sensitive a friernd came round on Friday night and he almost jumped out of his skin at the noise at one point when he heard a massive crash, thought someone chucked something at my window.
    • dekaspace
    • By dekaspace 12th Feb 18, 5:04 PM
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    dekaspace
    Had enough of them, after now 14 days of noise I told council and got a cheeky note through my door stating they are having a party AS THEY HAVE A RIGHT TO DO.

    In response have turned my speakers up to 1/3 of max (which is loud enough to sound like a nightclub) just for 10 minutes, lets see how they like it, if they complain I will tell them I am having a party as I have a right to do.

    If this noise deafens me imagine how angry they will be.
    • dekaspace
    • By dekaspace 13th Feb 18, 12:07 PM
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    dekaspace
    Last night, a nightmare noise did only go on to 10pm but it was far far noisy than usual, so much so I had a terrible nights sleep and had to take a day off college, this morning its noise far above and beyond the past as well, the mediation team phoned me and said the neighbour has refused mediation, she cant tell me why but its obvious it won't happen now.
    • csgohan4
    • By csgohan4 13th Feb 18, 3:39 PM
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    csgohan4
    time to move perhaps? If your not going to, then nothing more you can do
    "It is prudent when shopping for something important, not to limit yourself to Pound land"
    • Comms69
    • By Comms69 13th Feb 18, 3:43 PM
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    Comms69
    Im so sorry that I am a considerate neighbour and have been kept awake to 4.30am on more than one occasion by HER having a party. - People have parties.


    Im so sorry that I nicely let it slide and the times I have gone to speak to her AS SHE TOLD ME TO DO, she doesn't answer the door, - so she's inconsiderate, millions of people are


    Im so sorry as she admitted she never hears any noise from me at all. - So?


    Im so sorry that I was woken at 8.30am on MY DAY OFF by kids screaming and running about on laminate flooring which is BANNED - kids running around is banned?.....


    Im so sorry that I have to put up with her having a dog which is BANNED in new council tenancies. - but not in her tenancy?


    Im so sorry that when she has guests round with kids my lightshade shakes back and forth and stuff falls out of cupboards


    Everythings my fault right?!
    Originally posted by dekaspace

    Not saying it's your fault. Sometimes these things happen. You need to decide whether moving is the best solution.
    • Cakeguts
    • By Cakeguts 13th Feb 18, 3:55 PM
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    Cakeguts
    Last night, a nightmare noise did only go on to 10pm but it was far far noisy than usual, so much so I had a terrible nights sleep and had to take a day off college, this morning its noise far above and beyond the past as well, the mediation team phoned me and said the neighbour has refused mediation, she cant tell me why but its obvious it won't happen now.
    Originally posted by dekaspace
    Actually the fact that the neighbour has refused mediation shows that she is only interested in herself. I don't know what the council will think of her refusal. You will have to wait and see what they think they want to do next. They would not have offered it if they didn't think that there was a problem.
    • dekaspace
    • By dekaspace 13th Feb 18, 4:40 PM
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    dekaspace
    Not saying it's your fault. Sometimes these things happen. You need to decide whether moving is the best solution.
    Originally posted by Comms69
    Kids arent banned from running, laminate is banned, dogs are banned in her tenancy, I have no issue with parties or even people being up all night, everyone needs to unwind now and again but its the lack of respect hence also the fact I am considerate, she feels she can have a party or gangs of people round whenever she wants as is her right she says (which isn't actually wrong)

    About the door, she told me rather than go to council go to the door and tell her and she will be quieter, but every time I do she never answers, which she seperate told me she never answers as shes at work and its just the babysitter in, or claims to be not in the house which is when she deflects the noise to saying its the couple above her.

    It is however considering in the time I lived here I never heard the neighbour above hers dog barking in my property, and only when I arrived back a few days after she got a dog has it been ongoing, im a patient person it just feels she thinks as a single mother she is the victim in things despite saying she never once hears noise from me (and admitting she gets heavy noise from her upstairs neighbours all the time)
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