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  • FIRST POST
    • littleredhen
    • By littleredhen 4th Feb 18, 8:01 AM
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    littleredhen
    Wimbledon College of Art interview - help
    • #1
    • 4th Feb 18, 8:01 AM
    Wimbledon College of Art interview - help 4th Feb 18 at 8:01 AM
    My daughter has an interview 9am - 3pm at the above uni but we live in Scotland so here are my issues

    1. the date is soon so we haven't been able to access cheap train travel
    2. if she goes to stay with my sister in Reading the night before she has to change in London - tube etc
    3. if she doesn't stay at my sisters we have to find accommodation (cost)
    4. she suffers with mental health issues, one of which is severe anxiety
    5. money is an issue at the moment for me
    6. her current school of art told her to apply as she very likely to be accepted, she missed her exam years at school because of mental health but has attended her school of art nearly everyday, which has been a miracle
    7. if I can't find the money for her to do the interview it will be so tough on her although in reality I don't think she would even be able to cope going there
    8. she has applied to Scottish uni's which are free but obviously not guaranteed a place and the interviews for them are after the Wimbledon one

    I am not sure what my question is but some support would be really appreciated to help me unravel this
    The mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work unless it’s open.

    A winner listens, a loser just waits until it is their turn to talk
Page 4
    • meer53
    • By meer53 4th Feb 18, 9:18 PM
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    meer53
    My daughter has been to interviews at 5 different Uni's, for every one, she had previously been to all their respective open days, one uni (her first choice) she went to two open days there, (i went to one with her) before her interview, to make sure that she was choosing the right one. I don't understand why the OP's daughter is going to an interview at a Uni which she has not even visited ? What is the point ? My daughter went to two open days and immediately said "i would never apply to go there, it was awful" It seems that her college are just trying to get her to apply for a Uni where she would be more likely to be offered a place rather than one that suits her circumstances ? Surely if they're aware of her mental health issues, they wouldn't recommend a Uni so far from home ? As her parent, i would be advising her to look closer to home too, IMO the interview will be a waste of time and money.
    • Tabbytabitha
    • By Tabbytabitha 4th Feb 18, 9:42 PM
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    Tabbytabitha
    Student debt is only paid back as effectively a tax on income after graduating. If you don't earn enough to pay it all back it is written off. Martin Lewis has written about this on the main site. Please don't fall into the trap of thinking this is a debt in the same way that real debts are a burden.
    Originally posted by silvercar
    I know all this - I've spent much of my working life saying exactly the same things to potential students.

    However, in this particular situation, paying an additional 9% in tax (on top of all the additional problems inherent in this situation) seems completely unnecessary, particularly for a student with a weak grasp of the financial aspects.
    • Tabbytabitha
    • By Tabbytabitha 4th Feb 18, 9:46 PM
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    Tabbytabitha
    'Rich artist' is an oxymoron. The likelihood is that OP's daughter may not pay much if any back. But it's to be explored, just like any offers she gets from the other places she's applied to
    Originally posted by Spendless
    You don't need to be rich to make repayments - an art teacher (for example) would be paying back a substantial amount each month.
    • Savvy_Sue
    • By Savvy_Sue 4th Feb 18, 10:37 PM
    • 38,480 Posts
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    Savvy_Sue
    My daughter has been to interviews at 5 different Uni's, for every one, she had previously been to all their respective open days, one uni (her first choice) she went to two open days there, (i went to one with her) before her interview, to make sure that she was choosing the right one. I don't understand why the OP's daughter is going to an interview at a Uni which she has not even visited ?
    Originally posted by meer53
    Not all universities operate in that way, and even if the WSA does, it may not have occurred to the OP's DD to even consider applying there if the college hadn't suggested it. By this time, it's either interview or don't pursue the application.

    Surely if they're aware of her mental health issues, they wouldn't recommend a Uni so far from home ? As her parent, i would be advising her to look closer to home too, IMO the interview will be a waste of time and money.
    Originally posted by meer53
    How her current art school is behaving in relation to her MH issues seems normal to me. Your DD is 20, unless it's been established with them that she lacks capacity (in the technical sense) to make her own decisions then they are probably correct not to involve Mum in their recommendations. Why they've recommended this one remains a mystery to us all: I'd also be gently encouraging staying close to home, but it is tricky!
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    • silvercar
    • By silvercar 4th Feb 18, 11:47 PM
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    silvercar
    I know all this - I've spent much of my working life saying exactly the same things to potential students.

    However, in this particular situation, paying an additional 9% in tax (on top of all the additional problems inherent in this situation) seems completely unnecessary, particularly for a student with a weak grasp of the financial aspects.
    Originally posted by Tabbytabitha
    My understanding of the Scottish system is that you still have loans for maintenance. That will require paying back.
    • silvercar
    • By silvercar 4th Feb 18, 11:51 PM
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    silvercar
    Not all universities operate in that way, and even if the WSA does, it may not have occurred to the OP's DD to even consider applying there if the college hadn't suggested it. By this time, it's either interview or don't pursue the application.

    How her current art school is behaving in relation to her MH issues seems normal to me. Your DD is 20, unless it's been established with them that she lacks capacity (in the technical sense) to make her own decisions then they are probably correct not to involve Mum in their recommendations. Why they've recommended this one remains a mystery to us all: I'd also be gently encouraging staying close to home, but it is tricky!
    Originally posted by Savvy_Sue
    Given the support ( financial and emotional) that students need from their parents, I would have thought that a parent would be very involved with their offspring's applications.

    Most students would be 17 or 18 and living at home, so I would have thought the school would be holding parent information evenings and discussing choices with parent and pupil. At the very least emailing parents that pupils were making choices, so the parent could choose to discuss with their offspring.

    The school must be very aware that pupils will struggle without some measure of financial support, so it seems sensible that they warn the parents at least.
    • zagubov
    • By zagubov 5th Feb 18, 12:19 AM
    • 15,273 Posts
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    zagubov
    Instead of travelling from Reading, she might be better staying in hotel. If she gets an Oyster card, there's a Premier Inn at Kingston 12 minutes by train from Wimbledon. Might be less stressful.

    If she flies to Heathrow, the direct bus to Kingston (the X26) is £1.50 in Oyster credit.

    I'd be concerned if a relative with MH issues went to live and study a distant city with no friends.
    There is no honour to be had in not knowing a thing that can be known - Danny Baker
    • chesky
    • By chesky 5th Feb 18, 7:15 AM
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    chesky
    Putting student loans for course fees on one side for the moment, if you!!!8217;re worried about the cost of getting your daughter to and from her interview, have you considered how much more expensive living costs will be in outer London than Scotland?
    • chesky
    • By chesky 5th Feb 18, 7:18 AM
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    • 1,594 Thanks
    chesky
    I!!!8217;m a perfectly good typist, so can someone explain what is going on with predictive text on this board.
    • deannatrois
    • By deannatrois 5th Feb 18, 7:50 AM
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    deannatrois
    Its a problem that has been around on MSE for a couple of days. Might be Apple related.

    My son has ASD and anxiety. He went to a uni that was in London but only an hour away. Went to so much trouble to get him in there, applied for DSA, endless form filling. Even bought him a mattress because the one the uni supplied was more like cardboard. I did have to pay a deposit for student accommodation, which i expected and saved for, and had to pay his expenses in the first three weeks til his maintenance loan came through. Its definitely affected our finances. For the first time for decades I have an overdraft. He also spent his first maintenance grant in a month, inspite of agreeing to let me have it so I could give him weekly amounts.

    I went over cooking skills with him but could do nothing about things causing anxiety. And it looks like he has got himself into a very negative mindset and is going to leave. There have been numerous times I have had to go and bring him back home because of something in the accommodation provided causing him anxiety (loud parties) even though i tried to get him to get effective help from a distance (called security, tried to get him to call security).

    I think I would have been better asking him to delay starting and worked on problem solving skills being built up. Unfortunately, because its ASD he has, he's very ego centric and can't see outside his box. He hasn't engaged with support services supplied by the university at all.

    And now he's leaving. Not helped by him getting a gf outside the university who has ASD, so his mind has closed up even further. But nothing I can do. Breaks my heart, but I guess its part of growing up. I think he just isn't ready as yet. I also have had to do some long and hard looking at my parenting skills (maybe I over protected him too much because he has ASD so he was less equipped to cope than he would otherwise have been).

    Of course, he said before joining that he was determined to make this course work, that he recognised how suitable the course was for what he wanted to do. But its all come to nothing. I'd advise using your judgement as to whether your daughter really can cope with University life and study. It could be the making of her. She could be ready. But she might not be.
    Last edited by deannatrois; 05-02-2018 at 8:03 AM.
    • Tabbytabitha
    • By Tabbytabitha 5th Feb 18, 8:10 AM
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    Tabbytabitha
    Given the support ( financial and emotional) that students need from their parents, I would have thought that a parent would be very involved with their offspring's applications.

    Most students would be 17 or 18 and living at home, so I would have thought the school would be holding parent information evenings and discussing choices with parent and pupil. At the very least emailing parents that pupils were making choices, so the parent could choose to discuss with their offspring.

    The school must be very aware that pupils will struggle without some measure of financial support, so it seems sensible that they warn the parents at least.
    Originally posted by silvercar
    That was never the case when I was in the sixth form, even though 21 was the age of majority then. It seems to be another example of wrapping young people in cotton wool these days.
    • Tabbytabitha
    • By Tabbytabitha 5th Feb 18, 8:20 AM
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    Tabbytabitha
    My understanding of the Scottish system is that you still have loans for maintenance. That will require paying back.
    Originally posted by silvercar
    You're quite correct, although there is a bursary as well. On the other hand, the total of these is just over £7k which is £4k less than a UK student would get for living in London which seems to me to make the situation totally unviable.
    • silvercar
    • By silvercar 5th Feb 18, 8:40 AM
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    silvercar
    [QUOTE=chesky;73832123]I!!!8217;m a perfectly good typist, so can someone explain what is going on with predictive text on this board.[It is being looked at.

    That was never the case when I was in the sixth form, even though 21 was the age of majority then. It seems to be another example of wrapping young people in cotton wool these days.
    Originally posted by Tabbytabitha
    It is more that students need financial help from their parents these days, as the grants/ loans aren't sufficient in most cases and the government expects parents to top up. So if you expect parental financial input you should involve them in the process.
    It is also a generational trend that parents are more involved in their offspring's education than they were years ago.
    • UKTigerlily
    • By UKTigerlily 5th Feb 18, 8:41 AM
    • 4,401 Posts
    • 5,546 Thanks
    UKTigerlily
    Instead of travelling from Reading, she might be better staying in hotel. If she gets an Oyster card, there's a Premier Inn at Kingston 12 minutes by train from Wimbledon. Might be less stressful.

    If she flies to Heathrow, the direct bus to Kingston (the X26) is £1.50 in Oyster credit.

    I'd be concerned if a relative with MH issues went to live and study a distant city with no friends.
    Originally posted by zagubov
    It's good you'd be concerned, but is sometimes for the best . . . I live 150 miles from my Mum & Stepdad & about 157 miles from my Brother (he's about the same distance from them as I am) & I very much prefer it & would hate for them to be closer (& I have 2 serious mh problems)

    Not the same for everyone, but sometimes it's the best thing you can do
    • Tabbytabitha
    • By Tabbytabitha 5th Feb 18, 9:54 AM
    • 2,176 Posts
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    Tabbytabitha
    [QUOTE=silvercar;73832318]
    I!!!8217;m a perfectly good typist, so can someone explain what is going on with predictive text on this board.[It is being looked at.



    It is more that students need financial help from their parents these days, as the grants/ loans aren't sufficient in most cases and the government expects parents to top up. So if you expect parental financial input you should involve them in the process.
    It is also a generational trend that parents are more involved in their offspring's education than they were years ago.
    Originally posted by chesky
    Grants were also means tested on parental income and parents needed to top them up in those days as well. In fact, they were more stringently means tested than they are now and even low paid parents often needed to contribute. Nowadays, I would receive full funding based on my parents' income whereas they had to take out a loan to top up my grant when I first went to university.
    Last edited by Tabbytabitha; 05-02-2018 at 1:33 PM.
    • Gloomendoom
    • By Gloomendoom 5th Feb 18, 9:58 AM
    • 13,918 Posts
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    Gloomendoom
    Given the support ( financial and emotional) that students need from their parents, I would have thought that a parent would be very involved with their offspring's applications.

    Most students would be 17 or 18 on and living at home, so I would have thought the school would be holding parent information evenings and discussing choices with parent and pupil. At the very least emailing parents that pupils were making choices, so the parent could choose to discuss with their offspring.

    The school must be very aware that pupils will struggle without some measure of financial support, so it seems sensible that they warn the parents at least.
    Originally posted by silvercar
    I went to art school and I was 18 the day I started my foundation course and the youngest there. There was no contact with my parents at all.

    I now work for a university and have been asked by parents at open days how they will be kept informed of their offspring's progress, or lack of it. The simple answer is that they won't. We don't contact parents on any matter without the student's permission or a dire emergency.

    They are adults, not children.
    Last edited by Gloomendoom; 05-02-2018 at 10:02 AM.
    Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.” - Mark Twain
    • deannatrois
    • By deannatrois 5th Feb 18, 12:15 PM
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    deannatrois
    And as a consequence my son is leaving university. The university won't deal with me so there is absolutely nothing I can do. I could have done something with the support services if I'd been allowed to intercede with them (because he sometimes needs prompting to say what he thinks). I'm not.

    Young people with issues don't cease to need their carers once they go to university. They still have the issues.
    • andydownes123
    • By andydownes123 5th Feb 18, 1:53 PM
    • 197 Posts
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    andydownes123
    I went to art school and I was 18 the day I started my foundation course and the youngest there. There was no contact with my parents at all.

    I now work for a university and have been asked by parents at open days how they will be kept informed of their offspring's progress, or lack of it. The simple answer is that they won't. We don't contact parents on any matter without the student's permission or a dire emergency.

    They are adults, not children.
    Originally posted by Gloomendoom
    Yep - it's like going to the bank and saying, I'd like to see the account activity because although my son/daughter is 18, they're rubbish with money and I need to intervene.
    • Tabbytabitha
    • By Tabbytabitha 5th Feb 18, 4:51 PM
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    Tabbytabitha
    Yep - it's like going to the bank and saying, I'd like to see the account activity because although my son/daughter is 18, they're rubbish with money and I need to intervene.
    Originally posted by andydownes123
    You'd be surprised at the number of parents who complete the funding application despite the fact that the student's taking out the loan.
    • silvercar
    • By silvercar 5th Feb 18, 5:15 PM
    • 37,214 Posts
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    silvercar
    Yep - it's like going to the bank and saying, I'd like to see the account activity because although my son/daughter is 18, they're rubbish with money and I need to intervene.
    Originally posted by andydownes123
    Don't all parents have third party authority on their offspring's bank accounts?
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