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  • FIRST POST
    • savingholmes
    • By savingholmes 2nd Feb 18, 7:58 PM
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    savingholmes
    Prosperous soul in the making
    • #1
    • 2nd Feb 18, 7:58 PM
    Prosperous soul in the making 2nd Feb 18 at 7:58 PM
    So a little about me...

    I have been on the forums before but have had a gap for a number of years. Unfortunately I have a serial debt habit and at times have cleared debt only to restart.

    Debt excluding mortgage £46554. This does include two car loans which between them account for about £26835 of this. This leaves approximately £19719 of CC / HP debt. In good months we repay about £1070 a month. Other than the car loans it is all on 0% balance transfer cards. We snowball and tart our cards regularly. Last year we repaid over £10K :even after a blip where we added about £1.5k of new debt.

    So why the diary.... Well I really need to break my over-spending habits and clear debt once and for all. This year I am wanting to set up a new craft-based business to help me do that. I have never sold anything on Ebay or Etsy. I don't have a paypal account. I am debating whether to set up a company - to protect my income - as otherwise any profit will just get lost in tax. My goal for the business is not just to clear debt but also to help me fund my son at Uni.

    I need some encouragement to not give in and add to the debt when the going gets tough. I also need some impetus to actually sell what I'm creating and not sit back and be perfectionist and say its not good enough. I am a closet hoarder and that's a habit I also need to break. I have also written a kid's book. I need to finish editing the grammar and have the guts to submit it somewhere and not leave it to gather dust. Oh and me and my husband both work full time in reasonably well-paid jobs that leave little spare time. We also have a teenage daughter.

    I don't want to post an SOA as I have done Martin's Moneymakeover and know where we've been going wrong - mainly fritter and impulse spending. We've recently changed our utility supplier. Next I intend to look at our life insurance and employment insurance and see if we can make savings there.

    Thanks for reading. If any of you crafters out there have used craft selling to get out of debt, please share your story as it would encourage me.
    During 2020: Target 1) £25,121 to be repaid in 2020 (0%) Now down to £24,703 Target 2) repay £1450 off (OP £102.51) mortgage now 144872 @1.7% Target 3) Set up SIPPs Target 4) Declutter 52 bags - now done 4/52
Page 35
    • doingitanyway
    • By doingitanyway 12th Jan 20, 10:56 AM
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    doingitanyway
    Well done on the weight loss. A great start to the NY
    If you have built castles in the air, your work should not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them.
    • jwil
    • By jwil 13th Jan 20, 8:02 AM
    • 11,521 Posts
    • 42,889 Thanks
    jwil
    That's a great loss, well done! Great news on the blog too
    "If you can dream it, you can do it". Walt Disney
    • savingholmes
    • By savingholmes 13th Jan 20, 9:12 AM
    • 10,235 Posts
    • 21,372 Thanks
    savingholmes
    Thanks DIA and Jwil

    £162.45 paid off today - taking balance down to £24,875.

    Our gas hob now has two burners not working properly. Anyone got any advice on how to find someone to fit a new one even? Is it a gas engineer? Is my plumber likely to be able to help? It's irritating because we would like a new kitchen after we are debt free - so we might end up ripping out the replacement at some point... If we stayed I would like to move to halogen - if we were moving out I suppose we could put that one back in...

    For some reason I have the Monday blues. I don't want to go in... Need to have a shower, rush around and go but so far it's just not happening.... Best finish my porridge first...

    Hope everyone else has a good day.
    During 2020: Target 1) £25,121 to be repaid in 2020 (0%) Now down to £24,703 Target 2) repay £1450 off (OP £102.51) mortgage now 144872 @1.7% Target 3) Set up SIPPs Target 4) Declutter 52 bags - now done 4/52
    • MovingForwards
    • By MovingForwards 13th Jan 20, 9:40 AM
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    MovingForwards
    So you have an old dry toothbrush you can give the two burners a good scrub with? They don't react to well with bits going down / building up.

    It needs to be a gas engineer to fit a new cooker / do any gas related work. If your plumber isn't gas Safe he will know someone who is.

    Can you do a shorter day today? I know you are only recently back in after the holiday but you have a huge work / life drain on you.
    • savingholmes
    • By savingholmes 13th Jan 20, 11:02 PM
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    savingholmes
    HI MF - I made it into work but on the late side and worked late to make up. I was fine once I got there - the problem was pushing through the barrier and going.

    I will try your toothbrush suggestion and let you know if it worked. Our plumber fitted our gas boiler - that's why I thought of him - but don't know whether he is equally comfortable with other bits. I'll text him and ask tomorrow.

    We may succumb and buy a new bed tomorrow. It's the end of the sales in one of the places I''ve been looking tomorrow. I keep chucking DH into the other room because of his snoring and he needs a better bed...

    DD seems to have had a better day. Her hormones have been terrible for the last week - not the best combination in any teenager... but especially not with her other issues on top.

    I get paid Wednesday - exciting!
    During 2020: Target 1) £25,121 to be repaid in 2020 (0%) Now down to £24,703 Target 2) repay £1450 off (OP £102.51) mortgage now 144872 @1.7% Target 3) Set up SIPPs Target 4) Declutter 52 bags - now done 4/52
    • savingholmes
    • By savingholmes 14th Jan 20, 9:35 AM
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    • 21,372 Thanks
    savingholmes
    Paid £172 off cc today. Had to shuffle money around as it was a day earlier than I expected.

    In better news - I got the cash equivalent transfer value for my old defined benefits pension. It's a lot. I am very excited. I need to see an independent financial adviser asap - and then I hope to transfer it into my sipp. There's enough in it that between mine and DH's tax free lump sums at retirement we should be able to repay the mortgage (if we chose to) and still have plenty to live on in retirement with other pensions due to come later.

    The reason I want to move it - is if I were to die - DH's pension from my element would halve after only 5 years in retirement. That isn't good at all. It's also not inheritable by our children as it stands. If we move it and there's any money left in it when we pop our clogs it would be. It can transfer tax free to a spouse and others can inherit it after age 75 - but would pay income tax on it.

    I am going to hold off sorting DH's sipp - as I am legally required to see an IFA and am unsure what the costs will be so I am going to put that money aside for now!!
    During 2020: Target 1) £25,121 to be repaid in 2020 (0%) Now down to £24,703 Target 2) repay £1450 off (OP £102.51) mortgage now 144872 @1.7% Target 3) Set up SIPPs Target 4) Declutter 52 bags - now done 4/52
    • lucielle
    • By lucielle 14th Jan 20, 12:01 PM
    • 8,272 Posts
    • 35,695 Thanks
    lucielle
    All sounding good SH
    L
    Total Debt Dec 07 £59875.83 Overdrafts £2900,New Debt Figure ZERO !!!!!! 08/06/2013
    Lucielle's Daring Debt Free Journey
    DFD Before we Die!!!! Long Haul Supporter #124
    • Chrystal
    • By Chrystal 14th Jan 20, 6:16 PM
    • 860 Posts
    • 6,192 Thanks
    Chrystal
    Great news SH
    I Believe.....
    That it isn't always enough, to be forgiven by others.
    Sometimes, you have to learn to forgive yourself.
    • savingholmes
    • By savingholmes 14th Jan 20, 11:34 PM
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    • 21,372 Thanks
    savingholmes
    Thanks Lucielle and Chrystal.

    I am glad I had this news to hold onto today as other parts of my day have been rubbish.

    I've bitten the bullet - and posted on unbiased to get an ifa. Will see what comes from that. I don't really care what the advice is that they give - I just want someone to sign so I can transfer it out. It's a game changer. What it potentially means is that if we carry on with our plan of paying most of DH's salary into a SIPP after we've finished debt repayments - that we should be in a position to get a big enough lump sum at age 55 to be able to repay our mortgage if we chose - or to be mortgage neutral - and continue investing that money - partly in a tax free isa etc.

    There are ways of re-using (recycling) the tax free lump sum into the other sipp if we don't draw it at the same time - to get more tax relief money added too - which could be a useful option. You are allowed to go back upto 3 years apparently if you didn't use up your total pension contribution allowance!

    It should mean that we don't need to downsize at retirement unless we want to which is also really positive. I do know someone at work who transferred a DB - so will ask them for a referral too.
    During 2020: Target 1) £25,121 to be repaid in 2020 (0%) Now down to £24,703 Target 2) repay £1450 off (OP £102.51) mortgage now 144872 @1.7% Target 3) Set up SIPPs Target 4) Declutter 52 bags - now done 4/52
    • savingholmes
    • By savingholmes 14th Jan 20, 11:38 PM
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    • 21,372 Thanks
    savingholmes
    We also bought a new bed today - both the frame and the mattress had 20% off - and on top of that we should get 8% back from £co.

    It looks like getting an ifa could easily cost the £4K I was planning to put in the sipp - so will be saving that up for the next 3 months.
    During 2020: Target 1) £25,121 to be repaid in 2020 (0%) Now down to £24,703 Target 2) repay £1450 off (OP £102.51) mortgage now 144872 @1.7% Target 3) Set up SIPPs Target 4) Declutter 52 bags - now done 4/52
    • MovingForwards
    • By MovingForwards 15th Jan 20, 7:04 AM
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    MovingForwards
    Congrats on the bed and the cashback.

    IFAs are not cheap, would it be worth phoning a few local ones to see what they charge? After all, you only want the bit of paper signed and not their advice.
    • savingholmes
    • By savingholmes 15th Jan 20, 7:31 AM
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    savingholmes
    Hi MF - unfortunately if you want to transfer a DB type pension there is a load of work they are required by law to do to show that they carried out due diligence. I don't have to follow their advice but I have to get their signature on some forms to show I sought advice and that it was given. I believe they should sign it as - I think because my money has been there so long - it has grown way beyond what I could draw out on the fixed benefit that I would otherwise get - seriously - even if I live to 100!

    I cried at work yesterday over some negative feedback - it was a disproportionate reaction - but you know when you can't stop... took me over 2 hours to sort myself out! DH is feeling down too - and said he cried twice yesterday!!! I am so pleased that we have found a potential pot of gold at the end of the rainbow - but it is still over 5 years away before we could draw it. I tossed a turned all night - with conflicting feelings - over the tears and the cause of them - and the positive news about the possible pension transfer. Even in my dreams I was arguing with myself over whether going part time would be better than stopping work at 55 - and whether we really wanted to swap this house to live in the countryside - preferably within 30-60 minutes of a beach... The things is - I want to have choices - we don't have to do it f we are not ready.

    Currently we are both run down and exhausted. We rested up over xmas but it wasn't enough - not helped by on-going issues with DD timing with peak workloads. I also have an assessment date for me - to look at ASD and some other conditions that can go alongside it. It's towards the end of March - and I really want confirmation / answers - but at the same time it's hard not to worry a little in case it leads to discrimination later. It wouldn't in my current role - but if I did need another later - it could. However - if I could retire early - I may choose not to work again in which case that wouldn't matter.
    During 2020: Target 1) £25,121 to be repaid in 2020 (0%) Now down to £24,703 Target 2) repay £1450 off (OP £102.51) mortgage now 144872 @1.7% Target 3) Set up SIPPs Target 4) Declutter 52 bags - now done 4/52
    • doingitanyway
    • By doingitanyway 15th Jan 20, 3:54 PM
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    doingitanyway
    Sorry you are so tired and frazzled. Is there any way you can get some time off to relax??
    If you have built castles in the air, your work should not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them.
    • savingholmes
    • By savingholmes 15th Jan 20, 5:26 PM
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    • 21,372 Thanks
    savingholmes
    Thanks DIA - unfortunately not - I only have a day and half's leave left until 31/3 - and I need two half days for appointments for A etc. I am working from home tomorrow which I hope will help. My cleaner came today and it looks so much better. Work problem seems to have improved today - but I've been shocked at how little it took to knock me off course this week...
    During 2020: Target 1) £25,121 to be repaid in 2020 (0%) Now down to £24,703 Target 2) repay £1450 off (OP £102.51) mortgage now 144872 @1.7% Target 3) Set up SIPPs Target 4) Declutter 52 bags - now done 4/52
    • MovingForwards
    • By MovingForwards 15th Jan 20, 6:08 PM
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    MovingForwards
    Apologies SH, I should have explained rather than assumed you knew what I was getting at with my comment this morning!

    As you and DH know what you want to do with the pension, and only need an IFA to sign off to say they have given advice, would it be worth shopping around to see if you can find someone cheaper, even by £500? Or is the £4k a minimum you can expect to pay due to what is involved?

    My logic is saying you have your plan, regardless of the advice given, so you could have a rubbish cheap IFA as long as s/he signs what you need signing.

    Or, are you looking for advice and confirmation you are doing the right thing?

    I'm a bit (lot) behind on pensions, but am aware the hoops you have to jump through, based on what I've read on MSE and other members pension queries.

    Regarding how you are feeling, as you appear to do longer hours sometimes / a lot of the time, can you bank the hours and use them to have a day off?

    I'm concerned the direction you are going isnt, currently, a favourable one for you. Your body will only take so much. Somehow you need to pull back, get support and look after yourself.

    You have a cleaner, so that saves one huge job at home, can you take on someone to do something else, even if it's once a month eg gardening.

    Can you afford to take unpaid time off for the appointments? Or make your hours up? That will at least free up your 1.5 days.

    When did you last do your 'coffee and cake me time'?

    I can only make random suggestions based on what I see you telling us and I don't want to see you any more frazzled than you already are x
    • savingholmes
    • By savingholmes 16th Jan 20, 4:30 PM
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    savingholmes
    Thanks MF - appreciate you taking the time. The answer is - I succumbed and gave into a pub lunch by myself yesterday. Unfortunately though I was surrounded by noisy people so it wasn't as restful as I'd hoped. I've kind of worked a short day today though - and I'm not sure if I will log back on.

    I spoke to an IFA on the phone today who wanted 3% of my pot!!! He did say I had a very good plan of action - and that there were IFAs out there who weren't as clued up as I am. I don't know whether that was partly flattery though because he wants my money. He was very nice and did ask the right questions. The other quote I've had so far wants 2% which would be a lot better. I would - from what I've read be far more comfortable with 1% but have read online about people wanting anything from 1-4%.
    It's ridiculous as from my perspective - they just need to meet me, model some annuity rates - confirm I can't transfer it into my current work pension (I can't), make sure I'm not planning to invest in something stupid and that I have legitimate reasons for wanting the transfer and job's a good 'un. The fact that I already have a career average scheme in my current employment - and expect to get full state pension should also lower the risk. The guy I spoke to this morning was saying "yes but I have to insure against you ever making a claim against me in future - pretty much forever".

    I did speak to someone at work who had done it - and is sounded like for less cost - but I'm waiting for him to come back with the details. I think his pot was half mine though - and they were wanting to charge him every year to manage his money which I don't want. That was a local provider. The guy I spoke to this morning said to me I bet you wish you could just do it all yourself and stamp it yourself as it sounds like you know what you're doing. I said absolutely!!!

    My dad used to be in the business. Part of me wonders if I should ask him if he can recommend anyone - but I don't want him to go on and on with his own advice - as it tends to be either negative or on the extreme end. I think although this pension news offers exciting prospects - it's also pushing me over the edge a bit until I get it resolved. Unfortunately I can't do that without finding the right IFA - so its stressful - and adding to the tossing and turning factor at night.

    I've just taken DD to the doctor which used up 1 hour 15 too. We are both frazzled from that. I have a family event this weekend which I can't get out of - as my brother is driving my DS to it and then we are picking DS up from there. I want to see DS it's just unfortunate that there is a wider family event on the same day - as I just find the social and family dynamics exhausting. DS then wanted a lift back to uni on sunday - DH told him something could be sorted - but I'm too whacked. I think he's partly trying to save on train fare - in which case I will probably just pay his fare. Hopefully in a few weeks I will feel better and can go and see him.

    I've struggled to be productive today - which is also frustrating as I am currently in a peak workload phase at work. I do need to think about how I can build more help and support in for me but I don't know the answer. I've already bought 10 extra days of leave - partly to help with DD's appointments. I could at a push ask for unpaid leave on top - for DD's appointments and things but it is frowned upon.

    DH and I do want to arrange to go away at some point and get DS to look after DD - but I was thinking more like Easter. I think if it was just 1 of the 3 of us feeling like this it would be okay - the problem is all 3 of us are now struggling and it is hard to keep pulling the others back up. I feel like the rescuer pulled down by the drowning man... sad but true.

    Well that was maudlin. If I hold onto what's good in my life - our financial situation is improving which is something at least... We are all still here - that's another one. Our pooch is a God send - that's three things to be grateful for today.
    During 2020: Target 1) £25,121 to be repaid in 2020 (0%) Now down to £24,703 Target 2) repay £1450 off (OP £102.51) mortgage now 144872 @1.7% Target 3) Set up SIPPs Target 4) Declutter 52 bags - now done 4/52
    • MovingForwards
    • By MovingForwards 16th Jan 20, 5:34 PM
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    MovingForwards
    Thanks for explaining SH re: costs, I'm out of random ideas, but hopefully you will get that rubber stamp.

    Sorry to hear your lunch wasn't as restful as you hoped, next time it will be!

    Could you suggest taking on a part-timer or something to do some of the more smaller aspects of your role? Or is there anyone that could be utilised for a few hours a week, every week?

    We are here to keep you afloat, can you possibly sit down and have a one2one chat with DH so he steps up for an extra hour or two a week or a few times a month, while you get away for that time? You can then do the same for him on the opposite weeks?

    I think you would be wise to speak with DD and see if there is any way she can find a way of coping for 30 minutes if she is having a bad time while you do a doggy walk and clear your head?

    I know you previously mentioned about her hormones, would it be worth her trying the pill, just as a way of keeping her hormones on one level throughout the month?

    Is there any form of CBT that would be available for DD?

    (My OH is on the spectrum and self-taught how to deal with people, what to do when situations get too much, amongst other things, it means he is constantly 'acting what he learnt' if we go out and meet up with mates (rarely and I go alone), puts music on when outside to block out the noise, does shopping at random times to avoid the stress of crowded places - I refuse to go shopping with him as he can just lose it in an instant, I'm encouraging him to get an official diagnosis, he doesn't need one as we know enough but it's a long slow process between supporting, ignoring and getting him to the Dr!)
    • savingholmes
    • By savingholmes 16th Jan 20, 7:10 PM
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    savingholmes
    Hi MF - Thanks for the random ideas.

    DD is on the pill. Have asked the doctor today to refer her back to consultant/post 16 MH service. Also asked for period pain meds for her. DH just managed to convince DD to cook for us!! By which I mean put relatively 'junk' food in oven/on grill and for us to make sure it doesn't burn - but it at least broke our own inertia!

    My DH has so far refused to go for an assessment/ask for one - but is happy to accept my diagnosis of him LOL.

    My work has real peaks and troughs - so if I got an extra person even part time there would be times they didn't have enough to do. I've got some time limited staff to help with peak workload currently and they are doing a great job for their level. I also have some people I directly manage - however there's a lot of work that stays with me as there is any role and I just need to crack on.

    Tomorrow's another day. Sis says she never gave me the money for DD's present which she bought off me - so using that for nephew's birthday - so that's a win. It's almost the weekend. Another win. DS had a fab time away - even getting to leave the airport on one of the stopovers so got to see an extra country! Another win. There is genuinely a lot of good things happening in our lives - but yeah right now if I could be part time that would be amazing. Working towards FIRE though means that we have those options - but in 5.5 years time...
    During 2020: Target 1) £25,121 to be repaid in 2020 (0%) Now down to £24,703 Target 2) repay £1450 off (OP £102.51) mortgage now 144872 @1.7% Target 3) Set up SIPPs Target 4) Declutter 52 bags - now done 4/52
    • Tahlullah.H
    • By Tahlullah.H 16th Jan 20, 8:10 PM
    • 66 Posts
    • 207 Thanks
    Tahlullah.H
    So hope you are ok. Sending you hugs and best wishes.

    Tx
    Where there's a will, there's a way!

    Mortgage outstanding - 31/8/19 - £76,000. 31/10/19 - £73,100. 30/11/19 - £71,900.
    31/12/19 - £70,700
    • savingholmes
    • By savingholmes 16th Jan 20, 10:44 PM
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    • 21,372 Thanks
    savingholmes
    Thanks T. I've been reading other people's diaries tonight for a couple of hours. Always helps to put my issues into a better perspective. I think the fundamental issue is that I am too hard on myself, expect too much of myself and therefore the only person that can help me with that is.... me.

    In MSE news its mortgage OP day which I only remembered when I was on the MFW forum. Mortgage has come down another £102.51. Every little helps. On the pension front - the costs of advice are huge!!! which is increasing my stress level. DH has asked BIL for a recommendation of a specialist to speak to - and asked typical rates for comparison so will see whether anything comes of that. I've also requested a few more quotes.
    During 2020: Target 1) £25,121 to be repaid in 2020 (0%) Now down to £24,703 Target 2) repay £1450 off (OP £102.51) mortgage now 144872 @1.7% Target 3) Set up SIPPs Target 4) Declutter 52 bags - now done 4/52
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