Haven't been here for a few days,I had my lovey three days off last week and went back to work on Thursday where I was given some bad news,one of my workmates has been off for over a year with severe depression,she had been in various mental health units over the year and had finally started to work towards coming back to work,however things took a turn for the worst last week and on Monday she committed suicide,Iwas poleaxed by this so have been spending the last few days trying to get my head round the situation,she was such a beautiful beautiful young woman inside and out and it's so so sad that she felt she had no choice but to end her life,her poor family must be devastated,everyone at work is just asking why ........we will never know........she will be missed terribly and the world has lost a lovely person

I've just spent the last few days thinking about her and her family as relflecting on my life,I'm not the most mentally stable person at the moment but thank god im not in danger of hurting myself,I'm very lucky that I have been able to deal with my low moods and tell myself that I have lots to live for.im drawing a line under it now for my own sanity,it's certainly been a shock and very very sad
I started my new hours last week so finished at 3.30 on Thursday,it was weird to finish work so early and I didn't really know what to do with myself,of course it was a weird day anyway after receiving the news from work so the afternoon went by in a blur really,I met my mum for lunch on Friday instead of Saturday because I was working on Saturday and we had a nice wander round town,
Saturday at work was an ok day workwise although moral is very low at the moment,I wasn't feeling too good because I had a pain flare up but I expected it because of the bad news,it's definitely stress related so the flare up didn't come as a shock,I had to take some painkillers though which I haven't done for a while but they worked which is the main thing
Today is my day off and I got up this morning full of energy,so I've cleaned the house got two loads of washing done and all the ironing,so I'm sitting here in a lovey tidy room

DD and myself went to to a charity shop on Tuesday and I bought a couple of books,both of them are thrillers which I am enjoying more lately,I love to read and always have a book on the go,the first one was The Lady In Cabin 10,I started reading it on Tuesday evening and finished it on Wednesday afternoon,I really enjoyed it and it was nice to lounge around reading,the second one is called The Good Daughter and Im about halfway through it,I'm really enjoying this one too and I'm looking forward to seeing how it pans out
I've also finally finished the cross stitch that my Sil asked me to sew for my DD. I've got the frame so just need to frame it now,I'm going to do that tomorrow when I get home from work,I'm finishing at 3.30 tomorrow but I have to get shopping on the way home so won't get home straight away
Just keep swimming
Original Debt Owed Jan 18 = £17,630 Paid To Date = £1,677 Total Now Owed = £15,953
Emergency Fund = £1,500 Xmas savings = £300