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  • FIRST POST
    • Sun Addict
    • By Sun Addict 27th Jan 18, 9:50 PM
    • 6,218Posts
    • 42,580Thanks
    Sun Addict
    Things can only get better
    • #1
    • 27th Jan 18, 9:50 PM
    Things can only get better 27th Jan 18 at 9:50 PM
    Unbelievably my very long running diary of 5 years seems to have been deleted Not happy about this to say the least

    Not sure what to do about it. Need my diary to keep me sane and on track.

    Had to swiftly come up with a new title, had been meaning to start a new diary but not this way.

    Anyway, in brief for those who don't know, my life changed drastically 5 years ago when my OH got Lymphoma in his brain, nearly lost his life but miraculously survived, although he has permanent brain damage and is disabled. So we lost his wage and I'm now the sole breadwinner. At its highest debt was around £5k but paid off thankfully.

    I try to keep as normal a life as I can.

    Still really angry my old diary has gone
    Virtual Sealed Pot 2018 £404.08
    Debt £2180
    Weight loss 0/6LBS
    Emergency Fund £4000/£10,000
Page 69
    • please-let-me-be-lucky
    • By please-let-me-be-lucky 13th Oct 18, 5:23 PM
    • 9,058 Posts
    • 54,265 Thanks
    please-let-me-be-lucky
    Itís no wonder you feel weird finding out about your Dad like that. Canít believe your Sister didnít even send you a PM if nothing else. Glad DS was there for you Xx
    Debts @ LBM £23,729.31. Debts @ 08/04/2016 £0

    NSDs achieved in 2018 37/60
    Best win so far - holiday to Florida
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 13th Oct 18, 5:33 PM
    • 57,409 Posts
    • 234,967 Thanks
    beanielou
    Sorry to hear your news.
    He was still your dad so no wonder that you feeel weird.
    She should have at least sent you a PM xx
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 11 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.***
    ***Keep plodding***
    Out of debt, out of danger. MFW 2018. No 144
    • milann
    • By milann 13th Oct 18, 7:34 PM
    • 1,935 Posts
    • 9,291 Thanks
    milann
    Not surprised you are feeling confused SA - he was still your dad. Virtual hugs.

    Enjoy your new phone and enjoy Mr SA enjoying his.

    Itís so annoying when they pester for things and then donít do anything with them - Mr Milann might be good at cooking for me ( he used to be a chef) but he has been known on far too many occasions to NEED something - spend days researching then putting them in his man cave of a bedroom or shed.......not the same league as Mr SA though....
    • mummytogirls
    • By mummytogirls 13th Oct 18, 8:08 PM
    • 6,316 Posts
    • 23,705 Thanks
    mummytogirls
    So sorry to read your news SA, still a shock as you say.

    Glad youve got sorted with your new phone. Theres no wonder we all spend so much time on them nowadays as they just organise our lives for us . Mr SA made me laugh saying it was a good phone for the elderly , he sounds like my Dad and a similar age haha!!! xx
    Mummytogirls x

    £23164.32 - 12/12/10
    £5419.83 - 08/04/18 - 76.61% paid off
    • HairyHandofDartmoor
    • By HairyHandofDartmoor 13th Oct 18, 9:15 PM
    • 5,227 Posts
    • 36,760 Thanks
    HairyHandofDartmoor
    Sorry to hear you've had such a shock about your dad SA. It's an odd situation, but you must feel sad at what could have been if he had been a different type of person. Be kind to yourself until you start to feel less strange about it. X
    Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally
    Debt in July 2017 = £58,766 DEBT FREE 31 OCTOBER 2017
    NEW GOALS - Build Emergency Fund & Loss of Income Fund. Save for house repairs.
    "Tough times never last, but tough people do" - Robert H Schuller
    • sashybo
    • By sashybo 13th Oct 18, 10:03 PM
    • 2,848 Posts
    • 20,905 Thanks
    sashybo
    Hi SA, popping out of lurkdom to say sorry about your dad.

    I'm in a similar situation with a "dad" who left & I haven't seen him since I was around 9. I too have half siblings who I am "friends" with on Facebook but we never interact. I sometimes see posts that my half sister puts up about what a great dad she has & how lucky she is & it makes me feel weird. Not angry or jealous, just - odd.

    Why is it that his new children mattered enough that he bothered to stick around for them but my sister & I from his first marriage didn't/don't matter? He just never seemed to have any interest in us after he left & still doesn't. Not that I'm interested in having any kind of relationship with him either now but I don't understand it.

    I think I'll probably be in your situation in the future re finding out & I don't know how I'll feel about it. I hope you're being kind to yourself no matter how you feel.

    I'll retreat back into lurkdom now after my over-share.
    Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

    PAD started 27/01/09 - £11,192 extra paid off debt. Total Debt paid off £54,268
    Loan £1449.60, CC 0% BT £590, Car loans £20,710.89

    Have a Debt Free Diary to try & keep spending in check.
    • Cherryfudge
    • By Cherryfudge 14th Oct 18, 12:41 AM
    • 1,997 Posts
    • 11,404 Thanks
    Cherryfudge
    I'm sorry to hear your news, SA. As others have said, take care of yourself x
    MFW #30 Paid off £3,200.24/£3000 as of 5/10/18
    • Sun Addict
    • By Sun Addict 14th Oct 18, 8:53 AM
    • 6,218 Posts
    • 42,580 Thanks
    Sun Addict
    Thanks folks for all your kind comments

    Sashybo thanks for sharing that - you echoed exactly how I feel. My half sister was always putting on FB how great her/my dad was, it's a weird feeling.

    DS told me yesterday his GF's dad walks past her in the street or hides. Her step dad is more of a dad to her.

    Back to work tomorrow - not bothered really as I love my job and it will be good to have some space away from Mr SA after 2 weeks with him.

    It's a miserable rainy day here at the moment. Hoping it will dry up a bit as I could do with going to Aldi for some fruit and veg.

    Need to have a quick tidy up/clean round before the state visit later today. Not complaining though as SIL always gives Mr SA a telling off for being lazy.

    Need to do something about Virgin Media as DD has informed me her box isn't working and she's paying £10 a month for it. Plus they keep putting the price up and we only really watch Freeview channels and DD mainly watches Netflix. I'm going to do a comparison of prices so I'm armed and ready for the phone call to Virgin, I need to sound like I know what I'm talking about.

    Loving my new phone, it's a million times better than my old one, makes me realise just how out of date and slow it was.

    Have a fab Sunday everyone
    Virtual Sealed Pot 2018 £404.08
    Debt £2180
    Weight loss 0/6LBS
    Emergency Fund £4000/£10,000
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 14th Oct 18, 10:12 AM
    • 7,191 Posts
    • 15,632 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    Sounds like your Dad wasn't much of a dad but still sad for you to lose the possibility of a good relationship with him had he made more effort. In a marriage breakdown though you never know the forces at play. My DHs dad left his mum when he was a baby and never saw him until he was 16 and his much older brother took him to meet him. Apparently his mum had discouraged a relationship between DH and his dad. They rekindled their relationship but it was never a good father/son one. He looked on my Dad as more of a father which was doubly sad as he died at only 62.

    I love my iPhone 7 too.
    Debt free and mortgage free and early retiree. Living the dream

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages and Endowments, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 14th Oct 18, 11:03 AM
    • 57,409 Posts
    • 234,967 Thanks
    beanielou
    Maybe your SIL will encourage Mr SA to do some wee jobs
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 11 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.***
    ***Keep plodding***
    Out of debt, out of danger. MFW 2018. No 144
    • HairyHandofDartmoor
    • By HairyHandofDartmoor 14th Oct 18, 12:51 PM
    • 5,227 Posts
    • 36,760 Thanks
    HairyHandofDartmoor
    Maybe your SIL will encourage Mr SA to do some wee jobs
    Originally posted by beanielou
    Like the garden!

    Glad you find your new phone so much better.
    Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally
    Debt in July 2017 = £58,766 DEBT FREE 31 OCTOBER 2017
    NEW GOALS - Build Emergency Fund & Loss of Income Fund. Save for house repairs.
    "Tough times never last, but tough people do" - Robert H Schuller
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 14th Oct 18, 12:53 PM
    • 57,409 Posts
    • 234,967 Thanks
    beanielou
    Like the garden!

    Glad you find your new phone so much better.
    Originally posted by HairyHandofDartmoor
    Exactly
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 11 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.***
    ***Keep plodding***
    Out of debt, out of danger. MFW 2018. No 144
    • Seasidegal58
    • By Seasidegal58 14th Oct 18, 9:13 PM
    • 2,195 Posts
    • 13,624 Thanks
    Seasidegal58
    Hope the State Visit went well today SA and Mr SA's sister hit him with a few home truths!
    Finally Debt Free! - July 2016
    Finished Emergency Fund- £10,000 April 2017

    Next Scrimpy Goal - Ad Hoc Savings - 08/10/2018: £1,719.39
    MONTHS TO RETIREMENT: 31
    My diary: ďPaid off the £31,0000! BUT- still scrimping!Ē
    • Sun Addict
    • By Sun Addict 14th Oct 18, 9:21 PM
    • 6,218 Posts
    • 42,580 Thanks
    Sun Addict
    Mr SA has been truly nagged to death by his sister. It was quite entertaining

    It rained for the best part of today. Went to Aldi this morning, got soaked but came back with a bag full of bargains including frozen butternut squash for 69p and squashes too decorative to cut up at 39p each.

    Didn't get lunch until 4.30 today Was starving! This was down to the SIL visit - they don't do lunch.

    Bit of a rush but made spicy butternut squash soup from the WW card and cauliflower curry from my new WW cookbook, both gorgeous.

    Will have to go to bed soon ready for 4.45 am work get up.

    Have a good week folks
    Virtual Sealed Pot 2018 £404.08
    Debt £2180
    Weight loss 0/6LBS
    Emergency Fund £4000/£10,000
    • Seasidegal58
    • By Seasidegal58 14th Oct 18, 9:24 PM
    • 2,195 Posts
    • 13,624 Thanks
    Seasidegal58
    Mr SA has been truly nagged to death by his sister. It was quite entertaining
    Originally posted by Sun Addict
    Hope Mr SA took it all on board!
    Finally Debt Free! - July 2016
    Finished Emergency Fund- £10,000 April 2017

    Next Scrimpy Goal - Ad Hoc Savings - 08/10/2018: £1,719.39
    MONTHS TO RETIREMENT: 31
    My diary: ďPaid off the £31,0000! BUT- still scrimping!Ē
    • Sun Addict
    • By Sun Addict 14th Oct 18, 9:27 PM
    • 6,218 Posts
    • 42,580 Thanks
    Sun Addict
    Water off a ducks back SSG
    Virtual Sealed Pot 2018 £404.08
    Debt £2180
    Weight loss 0/6LBS
    Emergency Fund £4000/£10,000
    • HairyHandofDartmoor
    • By HairyHandofDartmoor 14th Oct 18, 9:39 PM
    • 5,227 Posts
    • 36,760 Thanks
    HairyHandofDartmoor
    It's a shame SIL doesn't come and tell him off more often . Have a good day tomorrow.
    Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally
    Debt in July 2017 = £58,766 DEBT FREE 31 OCTOBER 2017
    NEW GOALS - Build Emergency Fund & Loss of Income Fund. Save for house repairs.
    "Tough times never last, but tough people do" - Robert H Schuller
    • sashybo
    • By sashybo 15th Oct 18, 11:21 AM
    • 2,848 Posts
    • 20,905 Thanks
    sashybo
    Sashybo thanks for sharing that - you echoed exactly how I feel. My half sister was always putting on FB how great her/my dad was, it's a weird feeling.

    DS told me yesterday his GF's dad walks past her in the street or hides. Her step dad is more of a dad to her.
    Originally posted by Sun Addict
    Yes it's certainly an odd situation to be in, I've always tried to believe that it's his problem not mine, helped along by knowledge of his drinking, violent & jealous disposition towards my mum & womanising (at least when they were married - maybe he's different now but I wouldn't know).

    Also, people tend to gloss over things on social media don't they, so he might still be the same terrible person but my half sister is unlikely to post about that! I know my sister found it more difficult not having a dad & felt like the odd one out amongst her friends. My father figure was my mum's dad, I was lucky to have him.

    My "dad" would do (and has done) the same as your DS's GF's dad to both myself & my sister. I'm not sure he even recognises me so although I find it weird, I'm not really hurt by it - it's his loss in the end.

    Had to laugh at Mr SA being nagged to death by his sister, that's what sisters are for (at least sometimes), good on her.
    Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

    PAD started 27/01/09 - £11,192 extra paid off debt. Total Debt paid off £54,268
    Loan £1449.60, CC 0% BT £590, Car loans £20,710.89

    Have a Debt Free Diary to try & keep spending in check.
    • satchmo1
    • By satchmo1 15th Oct 18, 7:44 PM
    • 1,888 Posts
    • 12,347 Thanks
    satchmo1
    Popping out of lurkdom to suggest that Mr SA's sister should be roped in to be with him at least once a month to give you a break
    What would you get if all you got was what you were thankful for?
    • Sun Addict
    • By Sun Addict 15th Oct 18, 8:04 PM
    • 6,218 Posts
    • 42,580 Thanks
    Sun Addict
    That's Monday done. First day back at work was very busy, talk about straight back into it. Already made arrangements to go for a drink with my work friend on Friday.

    It was my dad's funeral today - more information gleaned from FB. I would've like to have been invited, I would've probably gone. Oh well it is what it is, too late now.

    Got soaked walking to and from work today. Took my trainers off this morning, wondered why one foot was soaked and the other dry - then I realised the sole was hanging off one trainer So had to buy a new pair on the way home - I hate having to buy things in a rush, I would've liked to have looked around for a good pair. I ended up getting a pair of Skechers shape ups for £24 from TK Maxx.

    Went to the gym at lunchtime, wanted to get straight back on it.

    Hope everyone has had a good day.
    Virtual Sealed Pot 2018 £404.08
    Debt £2180
    Weight loss 0/6LBS
    Emergency Fund £4000/£10,000
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