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  • FIRST POST
    • UN17ED
    • By UN17ED 27th Jan 18, 9:28 PM
    • 369Posts
    • 121Thanks
    UN17ED
    Sainsburys disability discrimination
    • #1
    • 27th Jan 18, 9:28 PM
    Sainsburys disability discrimination 27th Jan 18 at 9:28 PM
    I would like to say how upset and angry I am over my local Sainsburys who have banned my daughter for no reason and will not speak to any of us as to why she has been banned.

    She has severe ocd and this shop was the only place she would shop, she won't do online shopping and won't let anyone else go shopping for her.

    Shopping for her is a stressful thing because she doesn't like people to go near her trolley, it takes her ages to choose her items as she has to make sure there's nothing wrong with it. She has to wipe every item with cleaning wipes as well and will only use self service and then only certain ones.

    There has been a few incidents when despite all the staff knowing she has it and not to go near her have done and have sprayed cleaning stuff near her food, or gone near her food or even touched it and my daughter has got upset because she will not have any of it.

    We went in there pretty much everyday because of my daughters ocd and would constantly get stared at and we've also been wrongly accused of stealing shopping and also using someone else's bank card.

    I think the thing that led to her being banned was because we went to pay for her shopping and noticed the self service area had been shut down half hour early and when I asked a member of staff why was told because the on duty manager had told them to shut it early because she wanted to leave at 10 when the store shut.

    The member of staff knew us and was understanding about my daughter and always went out of her way to help and explained that they couldn't open any self service tills until next day and that she was really sorry because she knew that my daughter wouldn't be able to eat.

    We had to wait to speak to the on duty manager and on the mean time my daughter went around and put all her items of food back and after she finished the on duty manager spoke to us and said the self service area had been shut because there had been problems with the tills all day, something we know was a lie due ro the member of staff that actually worked in that bit that I previously mentioned.

    It was 3 minutes past 10 when we had finally put certain bits through a normal till and we left the store, my daughter was upset and didn't eat that night.

    I put in a complaint and was told that we didn't get to the self service till according to cctv until 10-10, I replied that was incorrect and that we didn't even go near the self service because I could see from the other end of the sore that it was closed and that it was a quarter to 10 when we had approached the member of staff and this was not near the self service area.

    I tried to say I had a copy of the receipt which showed the time as 3 minutes past 10 but customer services wouldn't budge from the answer of cctv showed 10-10. /I was advised to speak to the store manager and when I eventually got to speak to him after a few days of being told he would ring me back told me that she was banned from the store and would not speak any further about it and hung up.

    This now meant my daughter couldn't eat because of her illness it was the only shop she would get her food from, so I took the complaint to head office explained my daughter couldn't eat and they said they would get back to me,

    It took a week of pressing them to get the answer that nothing had changed and that the ban was upheld and they had nothing more to say. At this point my daughter hadn't eaten for 7 days and as a family we were worried.

    I'm sorry for the long post but it has taken us as a family a long time to be able with help from local health services to get her to shop at another store but it caused a lot of distress and still does because she wants to shop there but she can't because of a ban we have no reason why other than to think it is to do with her severe ocd which is surely discrimination due to disability.
Page 6
    • hollydays
    • By hollydays 4th Feb 18, 3:50 AM
    • 16,083 Posts
    • 12,166 Thanks
    hollydays
    Because of her ocd and because she could only have food from there and then they ban her for no reason then I think we can.
    Originally posted by UN17ED
    Your lack of holding yourself and your daughter accountable at all seems to be a problem you havenít recognised.

    This is something you need to get help with yourself. Itís not helping her, quite the opposite.
    • hollydays
    • By hollydays 4th Feb 18, 5:13 AM
    • 16,083 Posts
    • 12,166 Thanks
    hollydays
    It was sprayed at the self service tills.
    Originally posted by UN17ED
    Once went into my local supermarket at close of day.
    The poor lady on the self scan was expected to cash up the cigarette kiosk nearby, clean all the tills ( hence the spray) and serve any customers ringing for help and put some stock out.They were running round like a headless chicken.
    • NeilCr
    • By NeilCr 4th Feb 18, 8:16 AM
    • 1,812 Posts
    • 2,441 Thanks
    NeilCr
    Why does she have to go in every day? I do understand that this may be due to her OCD

    It would be easier if she could do a weekly shop. Then you could arrange a time with the manager. It is going to be harder for Sainsburys to be accommodating every day.

    If I am honest I can see both sides of this. I realise how difficult this is for you and your daughter. On the other hand I think you are being a bit unrealistic in your expectations of Sainsburys. I particularly agree with the comments about your daughter wiping the food and then putting it back on the shelves. That would put me off, as another customer, if I saw it.
    • GwylimT
    • By GwylimT 4th Feb 18, 8:24 AM
    • 6,127 Posts
    • 11,528 Thanks
    GwylimT
    A few things

    After being cleaned by your daughter the food products cannot be sold, so whether she wants it in the end or not, if she has cleaned it she needs to pay for it. As in reality by cleaning goods she has damaged them. The only time this wouldn't be the case is when the cleaning product complies with cossh and a member of staff watches to ensure she is only using that product.

    Staff are paid to work, if an area needs cleaning it needs cleaning, if the staff wait everyone will be at work past 10pm catching up for zero pay. That isn't reasonable.

    A cousin has OCD (he has improved slightly in the last few years), we never ever followed any requests as if we did we are confirming his fear and thus making that particular fear worse. He washes all of his food in dilute bleach unless it comes in a sealed bag e.g no air holes in the bag. He also cannot sit in his own living room as he would ruin the stripes he vacuums into the carpets. He was on obsessive compulsive cleaners a few years ago.
    • Pollycat
    • By Pollycat 4th Feb 18, 8:41 AM
    • 20,187 Posts
    • 54,174 Thanks
    Pollycat
    A few things

    After being cleaned by your daughter the food products cannot be sold, so whether she wants it in the end or not, if she has cleaned it she needs to pay for it. As in reality by cleaning goods she has damaged them. The only time this wouldn't be the case is when the cleaning product complies with cossh and a member of staff watches to ensure she is only using that product.

    Staff are paid to work, if an area needs cleaning it needs cleaning, if the staff wait everyone will be at work past 10pm catching up for zero pay. That isn't reasonable.
    Originally posted by GwylimT
    I certainly wouldn't want to buy an item that someone has picked up and used some unknown (to me) cleaning wipe on.
    • hollydays
    • By hollydays 4th Feb 18, 10:47 AM
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    hollydays
    I certainly wouldn't want to buy an item that someone has picked up and used some unknown (to me) cleaning wipe on.
    Originally posted by Pollycat
    Iím allergic to savlon and some wipes may contain that for all I know.
    • Labsuper
    • By Labsuper 4th Feb 18, 11:04 AM
    • 21 Posts
    • 45 Thanks
    Labsuper
    Sainsbury's would ban anyone (with or without a disability) who behaved the way the daughter does so there is no discrimination.
    • stuartJo1989
    • By stuartJo1989 4th Feb 18, 7:11 PM
    • 446 Posts
    • 476 Thanks
    stuartJo1989
    No I didn't see your post as criticism, it was completely unfair, yes it was worrying that she wouldn't eat, it greatly affected us as a family and with help from the GP we got her through it.
    Originally posted by UN17ED
    Just to point out but earlier on you said "and the help or should I say complete lack of from mental health is appalling just like the rest of the nhs."

    Correct me if I'm wrong like, but isn't your local GP part of the NHS service?
    • unholyangel
    • By unholyangel 4th Feb 18, 9:31 PM
    • 12,425 Posts
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    unholyangel
    Itís the seven days without eating which I find implausible.

    The daughter would be ill!
    Originally posted by pollypenny
    Not really, I've went 2 weeks without eating before - lost around a stone and didn't have as much energy as I usually do but other than that, I was perfectly fine. If you were severely underweight to start with it may cause serious issues though.

    In fact quite a few well known diets work by basically eating nothing more than shakes and soups filled with vitamins and appetite suppressants which produce a similar effect (although granted not as severe) on the body and those are usually done in 12 week stints.
    Money doesn't solve poverty.....it creates it.
    • Red-Squirrel
    • By Red-Squirrel 4th Feb 18, 9:50 PM
    • 2,778 Posts
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    Red-Squirrel
    Not really, I've went 2 weeks without eating before - lost around a stone and didn't have as much energy as I usually do but other than that, I was perfectly fine. If you were severely underweight to start with it may cause serious issues though.

    In fact quite a few well known diets work by basically eating nothing more than shakes and soups filled with vitamins and appetite suppressants which produce a similar effect (although granted not as severe) on the body and those are usually done in 12 week stints.
    Originally posted by unholyangel
    If you ate NOTHING for two full weeks you would be very ill and then at risk of refeeding syndrome when you started to eat again, which is potentially fatal.

    So I don't believe you.
    • hollydays
    • By hollydays 4th Feb 18, 9:55 PM
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    hollydays
    Not really, I've went 2 weeks without eating before - lost around a stone and didn't have as much energy as I usually do but other than that, I was perfectly fine. If you were severely underweight to start with it may cause serious issues though.

    In fact quite a few well known diets work by basically eating nothing more than shakes and soups filled with vitamins and appetite suppressants which produce a similar effect (although granted not as severe) on the body and those are usually done in 12 week stints.
    Originally posted by unholyangel
    Iím not sure this is a good thing to admit to on the net.
    • pollypenny
    • By pollypenny 5th Feb 18, 9:03 AM
    • 24,042 Posts
    • 62,650 Thanks
    pollypenny
    Not really, I've went 2 weeks without eating before - lost around a stone and didn't have as much energy as I usually do but other than that, I was perfectly fine. If you were severely underweight to start with it may cause serious issues though.

    In fact quite a few well known diets work by basically eating nothing more than shakes and soups filled with vitamins and appetite suppressants which produce a similar effect (although granted not as severe) on the body and those are usually done in 12 week stints.
    Originally posted by unholyangel


    Are you saying that you used these vitamin-enhanced shakes and soups, then?

    Not quite the same thing as the OP claims for daughter.
    Member #14 of SKI-ers club

    Words, words, they're all we have to go by!.

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    • Pollycat
    • By Pollycat 5th Feb 18, 9:10 AM
    • 20,187 Posts
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    Pollycat
    Not really, I've went 2 weeks without eating before
    Originally posted by unholyangel
    Yes didn't eat for 7 days
    Originally posted by UN17ED
    I'd be interested to know if the '2 weeks' and '7 days' without eating actually meant no food at all had been consumed during those time periods.
    • marliepanda
    • By marliepanda 5th Feb 18, 9:16 AM
    • 5,900 Posts
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    marliepanda
    I'd be interested to know if the '2 weeks' and '7 days' without eating actually meant no food at all had been consumed during those time periods.
    Originally posted by Pollycat
    Maybe itís like my diet. If I pretend I didnít eat it then surely the calories donít count?
    • NBLondon
    • By NBLondon 5th Feb 18, 9:28 AM
    • 1,826 Posts
    • 9,846 Thanks
    NBLondon
    It clearly does sound as if the OP's daughter has a pretty severe condition and isn't really getting that much help in dealing with it - and this is probably stressful for the OP as well. But it isn't reasonable to expect a shop to accommodate every aspect of the behaviour - and when that may be impacting on other customers, it can't be ignored.
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    • hollydays
    • By hollydays 5th Feb 18, 10:07 AM
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    hollydays
    My mother used to tell me she hadnít eaten .. yet I could smell the aroma of bacon having been cooked for breakfast
    • baza52
    • By baza52 5th Feb 18, 10:31 AM
    • 2,148 Posts
    • 2,232 Thanks
    baza52
    OP, would it not be easier if YOU did her shopping and then your daughter could clean everything once it was home?

    I can understand your daughter not wanting customers and staff around her if her OCD is bad but i can also understand the shop wanting to be sure that no items are being concealed and stolen. A scenario like thins would leave them open to theft.

    What would you do if you were the manager of this store? how would you handle the situation?
    • epm-84
    • By epm-84 5th Feb 18, 10:31 AM
    • 1,377 Posts
    • 4,331 Thanks
    epm-84
    She has severe ocd and this shop was the only place she would shop, she won't do online shopping and won't let anyone else go shopping for her.
    Originally posted by UN17ED
    Is that she doesn't want to or she physically can't? If it's 'she doesn't want to' then Sainsbury's are providing her with a suitable alternative to going in to the store but she doesn't want to use it, so on those grounds you can't claim disability discrimination. It'd be effectively equivalent to a wheelchair user refusing to use a lift and claiming disability discrimination because staff won't assist them up the stairs.
    • sheramber
    • By sheramber 5th Feb 18, 7:59 PM
    • 4,782 Posts
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    sheramber
    Out of interest what is your daughter doing for food now?

    Presumably, she is eating something now,
    • peachyprice
    • By peachyprice 6th Feb 18, 2:49 PM
    • 19,437 Posts
    • 45,095 Thanks
    peachyprice
    She would rather still go to Sainsburys but for the time being Asda is okay for her.
    Originally posted by UN17ED
    Out of interest what is your daughter doing for food now?

    Presumably, she is eating something now,
    Originally posted by sheramber
    Going to Asda, it would seem. Even though this was an impossibility and she could only eat food bought from Sainsbury's just 10 days ago
    Accept your past without regret, handle your present with confidence and face your future without fear
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