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  • FIRST POST
    • K.A.P
    • By K.A.P 12th Jan 18, 10:57 AM
    • 19Posts
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    K.A.P
    Removing my Ex
    • #1
    • 12th Jan 18, 10:57 AM
    Removing my Ex 12th Jan 18 at 10:57 AM
    Some advice, my ex-partner and I split around 7 years ago. We had a joint mortgage, I put in £85,000 which I can prove as it was from my old property solely in my name but no declaration of trust.

    We did however have it on the deeds that I own 67% he owns 33%, Property was bought for £250,000 now worth £270,000, I have provided 3 valuations, financials are £270,000 property valuation minus £165,000 interest only mortgage.

    Share to him after costs of estate agents for sale and conveyancing are £33,333. I have offered him £30,000 this he did accept now is messing me around.

    This is after saying he would take £25,000 then changing his mind and making it £33,000.
    He basically wants a gagging order, I have said I will sign this but it is not legally binding on the condition that he does not contact me and allows my family to move on with our lives.

    He has said he would rather keep his investment, can he force me to not by him out or sell?

    There is a personal circumstance that makes this quite difficult everything has to be done via solicitorís and he is scared as well that if I tell his governing body something he may lose his livelihood, and potentially his family name that he has built in the new area he lives as he has something on his criminal record that he has been convicted of against my family that has not been disclosed to them and that would not be liked by the people in his area.

    All I want is to be able to move on with my life, can he either A) say he doesnít want to cash in his investment? Or B) Refuse to sign unless I sign something legal to say I wonít talk, this I cannot do in the eyes of the law as a civil matter cannot be brought into a transfer of equity.
Page 1
    • Comms69
    • By Comms69 12th Jan 18, 11:06 AM
    • 2,970 Posts
    • 2,939 Thanks
    Comms69
    • #2
    • 12th Jan 18, 11:06 AM
    • #2
    • 12th Jan 18, 11:06 AM
    Some advice, my ex-partner and I split around 7 years ago. We had a joint mortgage, I put in £85,000 which I can prove as it was from my old property solely in my name but no declaration of trust.

    We did however have it on the deeds that I own 67% he owns 33%, Property was bought for £250,000 now worth £270,000, I have provided 3 valuations, financials are £270,000 property valuation minus £165,000 interest only mortgage.

    Share to him after costs of estate agents for sale and conveyancing are £33,333. I have offered him £30,000 this he did accept now is messing me around.

    This is after saying he would take £25,000 then changing his mind and making it £33,000.
    He basically wants a gagging order, I have said I will sign this but it is not legally binding on the condition that he does not contact me and allows my family to move on with our lives. - Gagging orders are very much legally binding. I'd suggest any negotiations on this are not confirmed until you have legal advice.

    He has said he would rather keep his investment, can he force me to not by him out or sell? - Basically yes, for now. You can force a sale but it's expensive and takes a long time

    There is a personal circumstance that makes this quite difficult everything has to be done via solicitorís and he is scared as well that if I tell his governing body something he may lose his livelihood, and potentially his family name that he has built in the new area he lives as he has something on his criminal record that he has been convicted of against my family that has not been disclosed to them and that would not be liked by the people in his area. - That all sounds rather silly. But since you don't want to elaborate I wont comment further

    All I want is to be able to move on with my life, can he either A) say he doesnít want to cash in his investment? - yes Or B) Refuse to sign unless I sign something legal to say I wonít talk - yes , this I cannot do in the eyes of the law as a civil matter cannot be brought into a transfer of equity.
    Originally posted by K.A.P


    I'd suggest that not saying whatever about his conviction is very much dependant upon his job!


    If he's a doctor for example, I would suggest you must tell the governing body. (infact pretty much any job that has a governing body, has it for a reason!)
    • Tom99
    • By Tom99 12th Jan 18, 11:08 AM
    • 2,263 Posts
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    Tom99
    • #3
    • 12th Jan 18, 11:08 AM
    • #3
    • 12th Jan 18, 11:08 AM
    If there was no declaration of trust how has the 67% / 33% split been documented, you say it is on the deeds?
    It looks like you put in all the deposit so 33% seems pretty generous anyway.
    • Comms69
    • By Comms69 12th Jan 18, 11:09 AM
    • 2,970 Posts
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    Comms69
    • #4
    • 12th Jan 18, 11:09 AM
    • #4
    • 12th Jan 18, 11:09 AM
    If there was no declaration of trust how has the 67% / 33% split been documented, you say it is on the deeds?
    It looks like you put in all the deposit so 33% seems pretty generous anyway.
    Originally posted by Tom99
    Tenants in common I suspect
    • K.A.P
    • By K.A.P 12th Jan 18, 11:22 AM
    • 19 Posts
    • 2 Thanks
    K.A.P
    • #5
    • 12th Jan 18, 11:22 AM
    • #5
    • 12th Jan 18, 11:22 AM
    He has asked for the Gagging order to be part of the transfer of equity, as this is a civil matter it cannot form part of a legal matter as it is civil.

    That is the part of the gagging that is not legal, it was tenants in common and he is legally entitled to £33,000.

    Are gagging orders expensive? he has no solicitor and wants me to pay for it.
    • K.A.P
    • By K.A.P 12th Jan 18, 11:24 AM
    • 19 Posts
    • 2 Thanks
    K.A.P
    • #6
    • 12th Jan 18, 11:24 AM
    His job
    • #6
    • 12th Jan 18, 11:24 AM
    He runs a licences premises, the licence is in his wives name. He has not had the necessary CRB checks i am guessing. If he has it is a crime that would cause you not to have him around your children and he is named on a list for 10 years
    • Comms69
    • By Comms69 12th Jan 18, 11:29 AM
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    Comms69
    • #7
    • 12th Jan 18, 11:29 AM
    • #7
    • 12th Jan 18, 11:29 AM
    He has asked for the Gagging order to be part of the transfer of equity, as this is a civil matter it cannot form part of a legal matter as it is civil.

    That is the part of the gagging that is not legal, it was tenants in common and he is legally entitled to £33,000.

    Are gagging orders expensive? he has no solicitor and wants me to pay for it.
    Originally posted by K.A.P


    It's not 'part of the transfer' it's a condition of him signing the agreement.


    Not necessarily, it would be about £3-500 for a basic order.


    gagging orders are civil matters, as is transfer of equity - which is why I don't see what you mean
    • Comms69
    • By Comms69 12th Jan 18, 11:30 AM
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    Comms69
    • #8
    • 12th Jan 18, 11:30 AM
    • #8
    • 12th Jan 18, 11:30 AM
    He runs a licences premises, the licence is in his wives name. He has not had the necessary CRB checks i am guessing. If he has it is a crime that would cause you not to have him around your children and he is named on a list for 10 years
    Originally posted by K.A.P


    Right, I'm not sure about licenced premises, but I would suspect that being on such a list would not prevent him working for the business.
    • K.A.P
    • By K.A.P 12th Jan 18, 11:37 AM
    • 19 Posts
    • 2 Thanks
    K.A.P
    • #9
    • 12th Jan 18, 11:37 AM
    • #9
    • 12th Jan 18, 11:37 AM
    He relies on trade from the public, the public would not want to have him in the area if they knew what he was
    • Comms69
    • By Comms69 12th Jan 18, 11:39 AM
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    Comms69
    He relies on trade from the public, the public would not want to have him in the area if they knew what he was
    Originally posted by K.A.P


    Ah I see. Well that's up to you. Make sure you have the right info if you go down that route
    • elsien
    • By elsien 12th Jan 18, 11:43 AM
    • 16,565 Posts
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    elsien
    He relies on trade from the public, the public would not want to have him in the area if they knew what he was
    Originally posted by K.A.P
    So he wants something in writing to prevent you from blackmailing him by threatening to spill all. You had indeed better be sure your facts are correct.
    All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

    Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.
    • K.A.P
    • By K.A.P 12th Jan 18, 12:14 PM
    • 19 Posts
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    K.A.P
    He was convicted of the offence, it was against my daughter so it is definitely correct. He wants something in writing to say i will keep quiet and not tell the public
    • bluenose1
    • By bluenose1 12th Jan 18, 12:28 PM
    • 1,980 Posts
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    bluenose1
    Doesn!!!8217;t seem right that he can call the shots, he has obviously done something that is criminal.
    Think I would tell him that if he didn!!!8217;t sell his share to you and let you move on with your life then if anything that would make you more likely talk.
    Why should you pay for any gagging order for something he has done, sounds a manipulative creep.
    You would think he would take his share and move on himself.
    Doesn!!!8217;t sound like there is much you can do to rid yourself of him. Is it possible to get an injunction so he cannot make contact with you in view of the offence? If so I would be tempted to give him his proceeds when it suited you not him. Though not sure if that means he should be contributing to the mortgage until you do well?
    Sounds a nightmare, hope you get it resolved.



    Though unfortunately
    Money SPENDING Expert

    • ladymarmalade222
    • By ladymarmalade222 12th Jan 18, 12:30 PM
    • 611 Posts
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    ladymarmalade222
    Well if it was against my child I would be telling whoever he comes into contact with and sod the money! What if he does it again??

    My abusive ex said he would give me equity from the home if I allowed him parental rights. Never in a month of Sunday's I would rather go without.
    • Comms69
    • By Comms69 12th Jan 18, 12:30 PM
    • 2,970 Posts
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    Comms69
    He was convicted of the offence, it was against my daughter so it is definitely correct. He wants something in writing to say i will keep quiet and not tell the public
    Originally posted by K.A.P
    As part of that was there not a restraining order? If you want no further contact you could apply for a non-mol order.


    The simple question is this: are you planning on telling people?
    • Comms69
    • By Comms69 12th Jan 18, 12:32 PM
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    Comms69
    Well if it was against my child I would be telling whoever he comes into contact with and sod the money! What if he does it again??

    My abusive ex said he would give me equity from the home if I allowed him parental rights. Never in a month of Sunday's I would rather go without.
    Originally posted by ladymarmalade222


    I don't know your whole situation, but if he is biological dad, the court would award that in 9/10 cases.
    • ladymarmalade222
    • By ladymarmalade222 12th Jan 18, 12:35 PM
    • 611 Posts
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    ladymarmalade222
    Also, thinking about it. If he was convicted it should be in the public domain.

    Who is to say "somebody else" Cannot tell everybody about his dirty secrets even if you did sign
    I still wouldn't let him bully me though. He is just trying to control you.
    • Comms69
    • By Comms69 12th Jan 18, 12:40 PM
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    Comms69
    Also, thinking about it. If he was convicted it should be in the public domain.

    Who is to say "somebody else" Cannot tell everybody about his dirty secrets even if you did sign
    I still wouldn't let him bully me though. He is just trying to control you.
    Originally posted by ladymarmalade222


    Where a child is involved the case is often not reported. As this would identify the victim.
    • ladymarmalade222
    • By ladymarmalade222 12th Jan 18, 12:42 PM
    • 611 Posts
    • 554 Thanks
    ladymarmalade222
    I don't know your whole situation, but if he is biological dad, the court would award that in 9/10 cases.
    Originally posted by Comms69
    I can assure you he would not be awarded it.

    It is irrelevant now as my son is 16 and has seen the light. I tried to shelter him as much as possible but allowed contact as I always thought it was immoral to deny him a relationship with his father.

    The things he had to put up with in those contact days caused him a breakdown and he had to undergo counselling.

    If I had my time again I would have disappeared with my son and sod everybody telling me the right thing to do..they do not have to pick up the pieces years down the line with a very damaged young man.
    • moneyistooshorttomention
    • By moneyistooshorttomention 12th Jan 18, 1:24 PM
    • 15,858 Posts
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    moneyistooshorttomention
    I'd be doing whatever I had to to get him out of involvement with what is basically my house and retrieve the money I had invested in it.

    Presumably any gagging order would be against you alone? and not against your daughter. Well - when your daughter reaches 18 it's up to her (and her alone actually) what she does or doesnt say about this character. I don't suppose the gagging order would cover what your child does or doesnt say? Your child might decide to say nothing about him at this moment in time - and that's her right to make that decision. Your child might, equally, decide to stick it on the front page of the national newspapers at some point in her life - and that is also her decision to make.

    From what you say - sign a gagging order - as long as it binds YOU alone. Then it's up to your child beyond that as to what she does or doesnt wish to say about this character.

    Your child might be most upset if you make what is HER decision and Her decision alone on her behalf.
    Last edited by moneyistooshorttomention; 12-01-2018 at 1:34 PM.
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