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    • alexandra_92
    • By alexandra_92 11th Jan 18, 11:14 AM
    • 7Posts
    • 1Thanks
    alexandra_92
    Boyfriend asks for 50% interest of mortgage and 50% bills
    • #1
    • 11th Jan 18, 11:14 AM
    Boyfriend asks for 50% interest of mortgage and 50% bills 11th Jan 18 at 11:14 AM
    Hi all,
    I am in a tough situation. I am from Viet Nam and have a European boyfriend for 4 years now, 2 years ago I decided to move from Viet Nam to his country ( I was just graduated from university when I came- so no saving ). Soon after I came ( 1,5 months later), I found a job as waitress in a restaurant and I worked there for 7 months, the income from the job allowed me to afford my driving lessons ( cost 2200 Eur in total) and buying a 2nd car. After 7 months working there, I was able to find a better job with better pay. We have been shared the household cost since I have job, increasing by time due to my increasing income. However, there are several times he claims that I am using him and that he couldn't save as much when he was single since I live here ( He has a mortgage - not so high and he is the owner of the house ). Currently we have a shared bank account and every month we put 55-45 ( he earns roughly 35% more than me) for : gas, water, electricity and other shared bills, and every month I transfer for him 20% of the mortgage to him.
    Now he wants me to contribute more, he said if I rent outside it would cost more, but to me its unacceptable to hear that, he suggested me to split 50/50 the interest of the house, which will be equal to 35% of the total mortgage, but I do not have stake and will not get anything if we break up. And per year he is able to get tax refund for the house ( around 20-22% of the annual mortgage) but I wont get anything from it
    Do you guys have experience with the same situation, and what would you do? Is it fair like if I do this? Thank you fore your time
Page 2
    • Newusername1
    • By Newusername1 12th Jan 18, 6:24 PM
    • 128 Posts
    • 70 Thanks
    Newusername1
    These boots are made for walking.
    That's watta they're meant to do.
    And these days they're gonna walk all over you.
    • -taff
    • By -taff 12th Jan 18, 8:37 PM
    • 7,420 Posts
    • 5,493 Thanks
    -taff
    I currently earn less than my partner and pay half the bills.
    When he earned less than me he paid half the bills.

    We share equally.

    However, we both own the house, etc.

    Maybe, if your partner wants you to pay half of everything, he sells his house and you buy one together. He could pay a bigger deposit and protect the deposit he puts down, then you both pay half equally with equal stakes in the house.
    • theoretica
    • By theoretica 12th Jan 18, 11:20 PM
    • 5,214 Posts
    • 6,480 Thanks
    theoretica
    I think paying half is fair, but that it would be fairer to be half the interest after the tax refund not before. If I understand correctly, that will be quite close to what you already pay. He is building up assets as the house, you are building up savings, this seems fair to me. If you marry they both become joint assets, if you separate you each have something.
    But a banker, engaged at enormous expense,
    Had the whole of their cash in his care.
    Lewis Carroll
    • Mela322
    • By Mela322 13th Jan 18, 3:14 AM
    • 96 Posts
    • 80 Thanks
    Mela322
    Thank you for your opinion. But I do not agree with you here. I did mentioned in my post that my contribution is increasing more and more because of my income. I do want to contribute and in fact, I share everything fairly, for me bills and grocery etc, no problem, I do not want to be a burden for my partner, and I do want to share with him . However, how do you jump right to the conclusion that I go here for a better life? I was not living a poor life back home, the reason I came is because I love him and want to be with him, and I do have the same lifestyle/ quality of life back home, I have never thought I would come here to CHANGE my life. Just so you know
    Ofcourse you cannot get money back if you rent a house, but this is a owned property, put in another way, an investment over time, you pay money every month, and the house stays on your name, its a different story!
    Its true that I earn more money, but again I work 50 hours a week to be able to earn the same money as he is. You cant compare apples and oranges!
    Originally posted by alexandra_92
    If you read my reply, you would have seen I said I could be wrong.

    What does it matter that you work more hours? You miss the point. If you were to go and rent a property, it would cost you more. This investment is his investment. He also had to financially support you when you first got here and had to work your way up. From your original question, it only looks as though he is asking 50% of the interest and you calculate that plus what you pay towards the mortgage a total percentage of 35%. That sounds quite generous to me.

    But I would focus on trying to salvage the relationship if itís not too late. You can see why he would be resentful and from the conversations you have described it doesnít sound good and more like youíre stuck with each other till you can sponsor yourself.
    • Cloudydaze
    • By Cloudydaze 13th Jan 18, 9:26 AM
    • 619 Posts
    • 2,431 Thanks
    Cloudydaze
    You're living in Holland and he wants you to 'go Dutch'. Doesn't sound that unreasonable.
    • ska lover
    • By ska lover 13th Jan 18, 12:51 PM
    • 2,752 Posts
    • 6,696 Thanks
    ska lover
    Ofcourse you cannot get money back if you rent a house, but this is a owned property, put in another way, an investment over time, you pay money every month, and the house stays on your name, its a different story!
    Its true that I earn more money, but again I work 50 hours a week to be able to earn the same money as he is. You cant compare apples and oranges!
    Originally posted by alexandra_92
    Yes.... owned by him

    I would be scared if I were him. and FYI lots of us work 50 hours a week, its barely a sob storey
    Last edited by ska lover; 13-01-2018 at 3:41 PM.
    The opposite of what you know...is also true
    • unholyangel
    • By unholyangel 13th Jan 18, 3:59 PM
    • 12,434 Posts
    • 9,736 Thanks
    unholyangel
    That must be some extortionate mortgage if you paying 50% of the interest would amount to paying 35% of the overall mortgage.
    Money doesn't solve poverty.....it creates it.
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