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    • Mgman1965
    • By Mgman1965 9th Jan 18, 11:13 AM
    • 105Posts
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    Mgman1965
    Country living, yes or no ?
    • #1
    • 9th Jan 18, 11:13 AM
    Country living, yes or no ? 9th Jan 18 at 11:13 AM
    I'm in my early 50's and always lived in towns or 5here immediate vicinity.

    Having holidayed in rural cottages and an avid viewer of escape to the country type programmes on TV have been looking online at rural houses for sale fairly local to me.

    Problem is, OH is not seeming as keen and says these programmes are always filmed in the summer when it warm and sunny, never when it's biting cold, blowing a gale, been raining for a week and a sea of mud or a foot of snow and ice with untreated roads for miles and the no mains sewer or gas for the heating.

    Also she says, no popping to the supermarket or takeaway if you fancy a kebab/fish and chips and would practically need two cars at least one a decent 4◊4.

    I (she says) I see only what they want you to see, the hot sunny summer days sitting outside on the fresh cut lawn, not the Sept to May times.

    Is she right or trying to put me off.
Page 3
    • AdrianC
    • By AdrianC 9th Jan 18, 5:47 PM
    • 17,602 Posts
    • 15,967 Thanks
    AdrianC
    Adrian, where's these trees that you can just convert into logs?
    Originally posted by suki1964
    My own garden... You'd be astonished how many split logs there were in just one big branch that the big ash threw away. Just over half an acre is 45deg north-facing slope, which was thick with overgrown pines when we moved in. There's a lot of other tall rubbish still to come out, and the "to be split" pile is already too huge to make much of a dent in before it's rotten.

    But, that apart, I've been helping do some post-snow-and-Eleanor clearing up down in the local nature reserve, and there's a lot of wood there which would be available, without affecting wildlife habitat, if anybody could be bothered to collect it. Instead, it'll just rot down.

    Or the big pines the other side of the lane which are just lying where they've fallen, because nobody can be bothered. OK, pine's not the greatest to burn, but...!

    Ain't no shortage of wood around here...
    • William Mateless
    • By William Mateless 9th Jan 18, 6:23 PM
    • 25 Posts
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    William Mateless
    Do your homework
    In our fifties we moved from Hampshire to rural Shropshire to escape our stressful jobs and commutes.
    We spent 8 years researching the area we wanted to settle in, checking out every aspect of what we thought we needed, we even drove around villages with a notebook checking out the facilities, views, shops, post offices, doctors, buses, distance to hospital etc.

    In the early days we thought we wanted to be up a hill in a beautiful cottage with a big garden and gorgeous views (which Shropshire has plenty of) but we soon found lots of examples of people who have done exactly that and as the years had passed and they aged they found themselves being cut off and feeling isolated as their mobility and ability to drive diminished and they needed to sell up and move into town.

    So we bought a house in a very small town on the Welsh borders, quite remote but with a couple of supermarkets and pubs etc.
    At first we loved everything about it but we gradually found we missed the bigger shops, the buzz and vitality of younger people, itís all guitar thrash pub music here so we even miss a choice of music we can enjoy.
    Everything is an ongoing battle to be honest, to keep our local A&E open (already 28 miles away) to keep our community centre open, to stop cuts to buses and the last bank closing. Air ambulance is your only hope of getting to hospital in a dire emergency so you hope the weather permits flying!
    Despite being the most sociable people you could wish to meet and trying hard to integrate we havenít made any ďrealĒ friends for the first time in our lives and so we are moving to a bigger town with more of everything we thought we wanted to escape from!

    So I suggest you do a lot of research on geography and location and think long term because the years pass by quickly and what you enjoy today can quickly turn into a rural prison. It has been worthwhile having this experience but I am so glad that we are still young enough to move back to somewhere we feel suits us better.
    • Callie22
    • By Callie22 9th Jan 18, 6:30 PM
    • 3,115 Posts
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    Callie22
    I grew up in the country and my parents are still there, albeit in a very tiny market town which I think gives them the best of both worlds. The 'village' is big enough not to get too Wicker Man but small enough to be comfortable, and is just big enough to have retained enough essential services to be livable - there's still a Co-op, a GP surgery, a Post Office, and a selection of pubs, small shops and restaurants. There's also a strong sense of community with lots of clubs and groups, and church groups. It is a great place to grow old as people genuinely do look out for each other - although the flip side of that is that the village tends to know what you're doing before you've done it! That is something that grates if you're not used to it, and there is a down side to living in a smaller community - there are lots of affairs!

    However, you do really notice how isolated you are when there is a crisis - my stepdad was recently hospitalised and the hospital was a good 40 minutes each way over terrible roads. There are local 'first responders' who are absolutely amazing, and the air ambulance if it's a deathly emergency, but you are still a long way from hospitals and if you end up in a situation where you either can't drive or need regular hospital treatment then it can be difficult. But it's swings and roundabouts - I now live in a town and can never get a GP appointment, my parents can still get an appointment on the day. I live just a few miles from my workplace but it can still take me much longer to get home than it takes my parents, who work much further away! Also, in the recent snow the country roads were cleared and gritted much more efficiently than the ones in my town. On the other side, I pay much less for petrol and broadband, and I don't have to be nearly as organised! It is a different way of life to town living, and it does take some adapting to, especially if you're planning to move a long way from 'civilisation' and you're not used to it. You definitely need to take off the rose-tinted spectacles and think about the potential negatives as well as the positives.
    • sheramber
    • By sheramber 9th Jan 18, 6:56 PM
    • 4,788 Posts
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    sheramber
    We moved to rural area 11 years ago when we retired.

    We had always holidayed in remote cottages and loved being remote.

    We are on a single track road surrounded by crofts. We have no street lights so it is DARK at night. our nearest neighbours are 1/2 mile away apart from the sheep. We have open views of fields, hills and river and the the view changes with the seasons.

    Our roads is gritted twice a day when needed.

    We have a subsidised taxi available if needed. They will even take you to the doctor's surgery and wait for you. The surgery is 16 miles away and appointments are generally available on the day.. You are a person not a number,

    The nearest shop/PO is 7 miles away. The town is 17 miles away but Tesco deliver if necessary.

    Local hospital in 40 miles away but main hospital is 100 miles away. Appointments are arranged to cater for travel time ( 2 1/2 hours) and there is overnight accommodation supplied if necessary..

    We know more people here than we did in 30 years in our last town.

    No takeaway or fish and chips handy but these are a treat when we visit family in the city.

    Last year mu husband required two major operations as was out of action for 6 months. We had numerous offers of help. One neighbour cut our grass- 1/3 acre and another sawed up our logs in his sawmill.
    Others offered to get shopping.

    We have a wood burning stove, LPG gas heating and a septic tank.

    We still love the life here. We did consider moving back to the town last year but once we thought it out we stayed put.. We have more to lose than to gain.
    • t0rt0ise
    • By t0rt0ise 9th Jan 18, 7:16 PM
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    t0rt0ise
    I was brought up in the countryside and now live in Central London which shows what I thought of living away from everything.


    But if you 'win' and move to the country, will your wife be happy? Or so miserable that she wants to move back to the town. It has to be what you both want and that sounds like a difficult situation, so good luck with that.
    • moneyistooshorttomention
    • By moneyistooshorttomention 9th Jan 18, 7:44 PM
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    moneyistooshorttomention
    It is a different way of life to town living, and it does take some adapting to, especially if you're planning to move a long way from 'civilisation' and you're not used to it. You definitely need to take off the rose-tinted spectacles and think about the potential negatives as well as the positives.
    Originally posted by Callie22
    ...and the comment about having to be more organised as well applies.

    I call it the "3 shopping lists scenario". Whereas I used to have 1 shopping list in my home city (ie of things to buy or do) - I now run 3 shopping lists of things to buy/do.

    List 1 - the everyday one for when I go in town here.
    List 2 - for things I can't do or buy here, but can in Bigger Town (for the several visits a year I pay there).
    List 3 - for when I go and stay for a few days at a time back in my home city (where I can do and buy everything - provided I can carry it back here in my suitcase). I also keep an eye on new restaurants/cafes back for "home city visits", so that I can fit in several meals out whilst there (to make up for the rest of the year when it's very difficult to find places I like to eat out in - even in Bigger Town). As I self-cater at least to some extent - I'm also into the bigger supermarkets I'm used to (Waitrose for instance) looking for all the "new" things I can't get in supermarkets here. I also buy what I can of my clothes whilst there - partly because regional tastes are slightly different here and I want "my" tastes.
    *******************
    • Davesnave
    • By Davesnave 9th Jan 18, 8:38 PM
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    Davesnave
    As I self-cater at least to some extent - I'm also into the bigger supermarkets I'm used to (Waitrose for instance) looking for all the "new" things I can't get in supermarkets here..
    Originally posted by moneyistooshorttomention
    The vast majority of people who move to the country have a car. When they shop, they can often choose different towns, giving an element of interest, rather than just a boring trip to the same old place. If it's going to take some time, one might as well make half a day or more of it.

    Where we are, every direction except due north takes us to one of 10 towns where there are supermarkets. Of course, each one will also have other specialist shops too, which is what adds interest.

    It's not unknown for us to drop in at RHS Rosemoor on the way to do the weekly shop, and then end up on a beach or quay somewhere, eating one of those take-aways that are so rare out in the sticks. We even have a bag kitted-out for the job, sited permanently in the boot of the car.
    If you are finding huge gaps between your paragraphs and use Firefox, MSE know about the problem. However, they aren't necessarily doing anything about it yet....
    https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5844460
    • blueraven18
    • By blueraven18 10th Jan 18, 12:04 AM
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    blueraven18

    I like it. For someone truly in the country, I'm in the city to them, but to someone from the city, I live in the middle of nowhere!
    Originally posted by pollyanna24
    This is us, too! Weíre semi rural on the very edge of a commuter town. Weíre surrounded by beautiful countryside in all directions and all the joys that come with it: slow internet, badly maintained roads, etc. But we have a wonderful friendly community, a great outdoor lifestyle year-round, easy driving distance to town and station. Pubs and convenience store are within walking distance. Weíre not really into takeaways but those are not far either.

    We moved here from London zone 3 and considered it a test of strength before later making the move further afield to a more remote setting (I really like the outdoors). Weíre too happy to leave now as we have the best of both worlds
    • Murphybear
    • By Murphybear 10th Jan 18, 5:35 AM
    • 3,599 Posts
    • 7,382 Thanks
    Murphybear
    We lived on the edge of a market town in rural Devon for years. It was about a mile from the nearest supermarket so that was OK. Unfortunately we had the neighbours from hell.

    We moved in August to a farm not far from Dartmoor. Itís dreadful. Nearest supermarket is 13 miles return. Nearest Dr and pharmacy ditto. No decent other shops within 20 miles. Itís muddy this time of year. The nearest village is half a mile but thereís nothing. No shop, post office or pub.

    We are looking to move again.
    • Mgman1965
    • By Mgman1965 10th Jan 18, 8:43 AM
    • 105 Posts
    • 107 Thanks
    Mgman1965
    Update.

    Well, me and OH had a full frank (and a few tears from her) discussion about this last night having both read this thread.

    It came out in the end her biggest fear is being isolated on her own on dark winter evenings when I'm working late and evening shifts. Her biggest worry is (although she admits not really substantiated) is crime, having read rural crime is on the increase, and the fact we were burgled one night whilst in bed (our springer spaniel went mad and saw them off) and it really frightened her as to what could have happened but for our brave dog doing her best to protect us.
    She said had we been rural how long would the police have took to get to our aid (we saw a programme on TV about rural Scotland where the emergency services would take over 40mins on blues and two's to reach you (great she said if your trapped upstairs with your house on fire and flames licking at the bedroom door, having a heart attack, or a mad axeman is chopping your front door dowm to get at you).

    So along with other points made on here both for and against it was agreed she wouldn't feel really safe or be totally happy so it's been put on the back burner and we're staying in town for now certainly.
    Last edited by Mgman1965; 10-01-2018 at 8:46 AM.
    • suki1964
    • By suki1964 10th Jan 18, 9:30 AM
    • 11,101 Posts
    • 29,660 Thanks
    suki1964
    Rural crime is crime against property, theft of farm machinery, rustlers, oil theft, there's very little crime against persons

    Looking at the stats for the past 10 years for my ward, there was only one crime reported and that was closed. It was a crime committed to us ( or so I thought)

    We had bought a brand new lawn mower to replace the ride on that we had. It had been put in the shed over the winter as my convertible needed the garage space. Any ways one spring morning we were cleaning out the pond and in and out the shed and DH says he would mow the lawn. I needed to go into town so said do it later when I'm in work. Got back from town, I went to get changed for work when DH shouts that the lawn mower was gone

    So I went around to the neighbours to see if anyone had borrowed it ( we are like that, you offer the loan of something at anytime and if no one is in you just go help yourselves ) Nope, no one has borrowed it. So whilst it was strange that the convertible in the unlocked garage with the keys on the seat was still there, the other gardening equipment etc, all untouched, we reported the theft. Police even came out and dusted for finger prints and take a statement etc etc

    Two days later, off we trot to the farm equipment shop to replace the lawn mower and the fella who services the machines walks up to us and says our lawnmower wasn't ready. What do you mean we ask? Ours has been stolen and we are here to buy a new one. No he says, I've got it in the workshop, it's waiting on a service. Turns out it was our neighbours who had rang and booked THEIR machine in for a service and because house numbering is pretty non existent around here, when he got to ours where he had been before, he thought it was us he was picking up from so just took it as no one was in

    Well was I ever so embarrassed ringing the police to report that the crime I had reported was never a crime at all lol

    Seriously though I've only ever heard of oil being stolen from residential properties , never heard of a crime against a person in their home in the 12 years I've lived here.
    if you lend someone £20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it
    • moneyistooshorttomention
    • By moneyistooshorttomention 10th Jan 18, 9:46 AM
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    moneyistooshorttomention

    So along with other points made on here both for and against it was agreed she wouldn't feel really safe or be totally happy so it's been put on the back burner and we're staying in town for now certainly.
    Originally posted by Mgman1965
    The other aspect of "safety" too being not just the "what happens in own home re any intruders" angle.

    Other aspects of "safety" re one's own home is the sheer number of "fallback places" if it comes to it if things arent working properly in your own home for some reason.

    - the laundrette if your own washing machine isnt working
    - variety of places (swimming pools/saunas/etc) one can go if the shower/hot water/whatever isnt working
    - places to eat out if the cooker isnt working
    - even just having places to "just be" and sit and read or whatever if the whole house is feeling untenable for some reason temporarily (eg its winter and the heating isnt working or it's barely possible to live in it temporarily for some reason).

    In a bigger place there is always the "Doesnt matter a huge amount if there's a powercut to the whole road" thought because you know there will be a choice of places within walking distance you can go and buy a meal/have a shower/just be in the warm (and with "something to do" if you want external entertainment). So you never worry that much - as long as you have a few £s spare to "flash the cash" at the problem.

    In a smaller place - there may not be much/if any of that. Your home HAS to keep working okay end of....

    Having moved to a much smaller place - that all came home quite forcibly during first winter here/renovating the house/not knowing anyone yet....
    *******************
    • Davesnave
    • By Davesnave 10th Jan 18, 10:23 AM
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    Davesnave
    As Suki says, rural crime is mostly the theft of stuff like chain saws in sheds and outhouses, or it's domestics and anti-social behaviour, usually centred on a few individuals.

    This is why a good perusal of Police UK is vital, to ensure that you don't end up next door to the loonies responsible. The site won't give exact addresses, but it shows close enough where any trouble spots are. In our village there are two; avoid those and you're fine.

    Crime can be very localised. Even in the city where we used to live, Police UK shows virtually no recorded crime in our old cul-de-sac, which is how we experienced it. 200 metres as the crow flies, it's a very different story.

    But if your wife doesn't like the thought of living without street lights, or being far from a hospital in an emergency (been there, done that) then no amount of statistics will make her feel better about the idea. That's something aside from the inconveniences people have spoken about.
    If you are finding huge gaps between your paragraphs and use Firefox, MSE know about the problem. However, they aren't necessarily doing anything about it yet....
    https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5844460
    • Davesnave
    • By Davesnave 10th Jan 18, 10:28 AM
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    Davesnave

    We are looking to move again.
    Originally posted by Murphybear
    Didn't you receive an S21 recently?
    If you are finding huge gaps between your paragraphs and use Firefox, MSE know about the problem. However, they aren't necessarily doing anything about it yet....
    https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5844460
    • ibizafan
    • By ibizafan 10th Jan 18, 11:55 AM
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    ibizafan
    OP, I see your location is Northamptonshire, so very close to me. Many people are unaware that the villages are amongst some of the most picturesque anywhere. We love driving through them and perhaps stopping at a country pub. Thatís as far as it goes, however. Nice to have them on your doorstep, but some of them are very isolated. I agree with your OH, and pleased you have reconsidered.
    • cloo
    • By cloo 10th Jan 18, 12:34 PM
    • 1,056 Posts
    • 1,045 Thanks
    cloo
    We lived on the edge of a market town in rural Devon for years. It was about a mile from the nearest supermarket so that was OK. Unfortunately we had the neighbours from hell.

    We moved in August to a farm not far from Dartmoor. Itís dreadful. Nearest supermarket is 13 miles return. Nearest Dr and pharmacy ditto. No decent other shops within 20 miles. Itís muddy this time of year. The nearest village is half a mile but thereís nothing. No shop, post office or pub.

    We are looking to move again.
    Originally posted by Murphybear
    Yes, sadly a lot of rural infrastructure like pubs and small shops has gone. Hope you find somewhere better soon.

    Glad OP has had discussion with other half and the question is settled, though sorry it's in a rather negative way.
    • Pupnik
    • By Pupnik 10th Jan 18, 1:05 PM
    • 441 Posts
    • 482 Thanks
    Pupnik
    I grew up in a rural location and loved it. The bad weather was never a problem (apart from when it flooded on a few occasions) and seeing rolling hills and woodland covered in snow is a lovely sight, and one of the things I miss about living in the country is really seeing the seasons change properly.

    I'm in a small town now and it's right for me at the moment but I'd like to go back to the countryside one day, but for me the biggest problem is transport as I don't drive myself and I don't really want to right now. When I lived in a village I got the bus everywhere and the bus stop was a mile away from my house, up an unlit road with a sheep field on one side and a wood on the other, no pavements. There weren't that many times when the weather was so bad the bus wasn't running or the road was unmanageable but you do need to be able to rock a flourescent vest for safety

    As others mentioned, crime in the country is a little different. We had the alloys taken from the car once, we had the occasional trespasser, we had dogs break into the garden and kill chickens and ducks, but I always felt safe. In the town flat we were broken into and I always felt suspicious after that. A friend up the road has been burgled 3 times since they lived here. We had noisy neighbours, people burning plastic waste, neighbours arrested right on our doorstep, people dealing drugs and stolen bikes etc.

    Things were a bit different while I was growing up in the o!!!!ryside though - we had a local police officer who would do the rounds, now long since gone, a village shop (shut mid 90s). There's still a pub but that's it. But people in villages manage, you eat more from tins and store cupboards so you can do big shops to stock up less frequently, grow fresh produce, have chickens, have milk and newspapers delivered. There is still a mobile library in my home village (for now) and the next village over has a mobile fish and chip shop on Fridays. Larger villages with more than one pub will often do social events so perhaps a decent sized village instead of a hamlet might be better for you.
    • Pixie5740
    • By Pixie5740 10th Jan 18, 1:12 PM
    • 12,182 Posts
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    Pixie5740
    The bad weather was never a problem
    Originally posted by Pupnik
    There's no such thing as bad weather, only unsuitable clothing
    • trailingspouse
    • By trailingspouse 10th Jan 18, 1:13 PM
    • 2,680 Posts
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    trailingspouse
    I've done the lot - big city, market town, small village, remote Scottish island.

    There are good and bad to all of them.

    In cities I love how easy the shopping and the culture is to access. In market towns I love everything being close at hand. In villages I love everyone knowing everyone else and being there to help out. On the remote Scottish island I loved the wide open spaces and the birdwatching.

    In cities I hate the pollution and the anonymity. In market towns I hate that the shopping can sometimes be a bit lacking. In villages I hate that everyone knows your business. And on the remote Scottish island I hated that we were so far away from pretty much everywhere.

    I'm really pleased that you've had a proper conversation with your wife. Rural living is fab - if it's what you want to do. But it sounds like it really isn't for her.
    • vics 1982
    • By vics 1982 10th Jan 18, 2:33 PM
    • 184 Posts
    • 94 Thanks
    vics 1982
    Update.

    Well, me and OH had a full frank (and a few tears from her) discussion about this last night having both read this thread.

    It came out in the end her biggest fear is being isolated on her own on dark winter evenings when I'm working late and evening shifts. Her biggest worry is (although she admits not really substantiated) is crime, having read rural crime is on the increase, and the fact we were burgled one night whilst in bed (our springer spaniel went mad and saw them off) and it really frightened her as to what could have happened but for our brave dog doing her best to protect us.
    She said had we been rural how long would the police have took to get to our aid (we saw a programme on TV about rural Scotland where the emergency services would take over 40mins on blues and two's to reach you (great she said if your trapped upstairs with your house on fire and flames licking at the bedroom door, having a heart attack, or a mad axeman is chopping your front door dowm to get at you).

    So along with other points made on here both for and against it was agreed she wouldn't feel really safe or be totally happy so it's been put on the back burner and we're staying in town for now certainly.
    Originally posted by Mgman1965
    All of these scenarios can happen in town, we have never been burgled / had things stolen since we moved to our present home yet when we were in a semi rural village we had a motorbike stolen, a break in with jewelry taken and the shed got done over a couple of times. As long as things are locked up i think this is deterrent, we also have PIR security lights and cameras so if you come close to the house in the dark the lights come on. I do agree about being on your own if you are late but that's what curtains and locks on doors are for. I dislocated my knee (not quite heart attack or life threatening) but jolly painful in October and had to wait about 3 hours for an ambulance or any help and i was in a big town! If its an emergency they will send a helicopter etc.

    That said, if she doesn't like it she doesn't like it and if shes not happy you wont be eiher
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