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  • FIRST POST
    • Florence J
    • By Florence J 8th Jan 18, 9:16 PM
    • 1,893Posts
    • 11,177Thanks
    Florence J
    Flo 2.0
    • #1
    • 8th Jan 18, 9:16 PM
    Flo 2.0 8th Jan 18 at 9:16 PM
    Hello everyone!

    It is a new year and a new diary.

    My previous diary, entitled 'Flo's Debt Free Diary' started on 6/12/15 when I was about one bad decision away from financial ruin. I didn't realised what it was called at the time, but it was clear I had had my 'Light Bulb Moment'.

    My credit card and overdraft debt at that point was £5150. I prioritised paying off my debt but by the end of 2016 after 4 months of unemployment it had crept up to £5196.92.

    In 2017 I tried a different tactic. I stopped spending. I stopped myself buying 'things' and instead could only spend money on the following approved categories (outside of standard bills and the food budget):

    Postage and Packaging
    Clothing Maintenance (dry cleaning, reheeling shoes, fixing clothes)
    Social
    Homeware
    Work Expenses
    Travel (Day to Day)
    Travel (Visiting)
    Gifts
    Health

    I was not completely perfect and did end up buying things from the 'contraband' categories. BUT in 2016 my spends on 'stuff/things' was over £2000 and in 2017 it was £400.

    This strategy worked and I was able to pay off over £3000 of debt, which was a combination of the credit card debt and some money I owed my long suffering OH. This included clearing my £1000 overdraft.

    Because I have now paid my credit card bills for this month I can say my credit card debt is now....

    £3935.

    It is spread across two 0% balance transfer cards, but I am half way through my offer period with them, so I have 11 months left on one and 12 months on the other. I am not optimistic I will clear the balance before the time ends, this is because so far I have been extremely cursed on the job front.

    So, onto the job situation.

    I am 28 years old and I have never had a full time permanent contract role.

    I got into debt because of years of zero hour contract jobs I couldn't seem to get out of (but to be fair no one was forcing me to spend money on clothes either). For the last 2.5 ish years I have been primarily working at a University on various fixed term contracts.

    I am currently working through a temp agency and I may have this role I am currently in for 3 months.

    I am relatively intelligent, very hard working, but I have the confidence of a diseased pigeon and rarely have the guts to make an application and frequently look at job advertisements and tell myself I cannot do the job.

    In 2017 I started a role I thought would be my dream job. It turned out to be a nightmare and I was signed off work for 4 weeks with stress, anxiety and depression. Mental Health will be a big talking point on this diary. Although I returned to the role I was effectively let go when my probation period came up.

    I pretty much have the debt busting thing down. I know what to do, and I am going to live the 'no spending' (for the most part) way of life until my debts are paid. But I am on minimum wage, so will earn less than £1000 a month and will have to be strict with budgeting.

    I also owe my OH £1814 which has to be paid back this year. This is made up of money I borrowed off him when I was out of work for 2 months at the end of 2017 so that I could pay my bills.

    So once again my debt is back to about £6000.

    I am starting a new diary because I do feel like a new person, I feel like I have finally found a way to live frugally and my mental health is better then ever.

    My goal this year is to save up an emergency fund. This will be very difficult.

    I wanted to be debt free before I am 30, but I am not sure if that will happen.

    New Year, New Diary, New Flo.
    Sealed Pot Challenge 11 #553
    £1000 Emergency Fund Challenge #253
    Wombling free 2017 = £2195.92
    Pay off all your debts by Xmas 2017 #53 (£3168.45/£3000)
    February 2018 Credit Card Debt: £3885
Page 2
    • Honeysucklelou2
    • By Honeysucklelou2 20th Jan 18, 3:29 AM
    • 796 Posts
    • 3,197 Thanks
    Honeysucklelou2
    Do landlords not have to adhere to a certain level of maintenance? As a short term solution, are you able to use a dehumidifier?
    paydbx #93 £642/£8,000.
    Loan £17k - paid off in Aug 2017. Home improvement loans £3342 March 2017. £3123 in Jan 18
    • theroamingnomad
    • By theroamingnomad 20th Jan 18, 9:53 AM
    • 115 Posts
    • 123 Thanks
    theroamingnomad
    Good luck on your journey
    Debt-free by January 1st, 2019.
    £4905.87/£5124 - as of 24/03/18
    • Seasidegal58
    • By Seasidegal58 20th Jan 18, 2:50 PM
    • 1,879 Posts
    • 11,454 Thanks
    Seasidegal58
    Flo - it can’t be good for you both to be living in a house with so much mould. I would think there must be something in your tenancy agreement that states that the landlord has to ensure that the property it is a fit condition to be rented out. Have a word with the Citizens Advice Bureau to see what your rights are.
    Finally Debt Free! - July 2016
    Finished Emergency Fund- £10,000 April 2017

    Next Scrimpy Goal - Ad Hoc Savings - 26/04/2018: £591.90
    MONTHS TO RETIREMENT: 36!
    My diary: “Paid off the £31,0000! BUT- still scrimping!”
    • Florence J
    • By Florence J 20th Jan 18, 4:47 PM
    • 1,893 Posts
    • 11,177 Thanks
    Florence J
    Do landlords not have to adhere to a certain level of maintenance? As a short term solution, are you able to use a dehumidifier?
    Originally posted by Honeysucklelou2
    Hi Honeysucklelou, We do have a dehumidifier in the bedroom, I want to get a second for downstairs but OH is worried it will drive up our energy bill, it seems we need one in every room of the house!
    Sealed Pot Challenge 11 #553
    £1000 Emergency Fund Challenge #253
    Wombling free 2017 = £2195.92
    Pay off all your debts by Xmas 2017 #53 (£3168.45/£3000)
    February 2018 Credit Card Debt: £3885
    • Florence J
    • By Florence J 20th Jan 18, 4:50 PM
    • 1,893 Posts
    • 11,177 Thanks
    Florence J
    Good luck on your journey
    Originally posted by theroamingnomad
    Thank you, I have been on MSE for 2 years with a previous diary, but am changing my focus now to building up an emergency fund and planning for the future. Still got debt to shift though.
    Sealed Pot Challenge 11 #553
    £1000 Emergency Fund Challenge #253
    Wombling free 2017 = £2195.92
    Pay off all your debts by Xmas 2017 #53 (£3168.45/£3000)
    February 2018 Credit Card Debt: £3885
    • Florence J
    • By Florence J 20th Jan 18, 4:59 PM
    • 1,893 Posts
    • 11,177 Thanks
    Florence J
    Flo - it can’t be good for you both to be living in a house with so much mould. I would think there must be something in your tenancy agreement that states that the landlord has to ensure that the property it is a fit condition to be rented out. Have a word with the Citizens Advice Bureau to see what your rights are.
    Originally posted by Seasidegal58
    I hadn't thought of citizens advice, thank you. It is certainly something to consider.

    One thing I had thought of was suggesting to the Landlord they increase the rent on the condition that the work gets done on the house, it may seem like something I shouldn't have to even suggest (they should make the house fit for purpose), but the rent on this property is so cheap and for such a large amount of space that it might make financial sense.

    OH and I were looking in the window of a letting agency today and a two bedroom first floor flat is £840 on the street ours connects to, whereas we pay £550 for a two bedroom house and garden with living and dining room.

    OH and I aren't going to do anything dramatic about a house move yet as we have decided that either way we need to do a massive clear out, and once that is done we will assess what we need from a house (walls that aren't wet and mouldy would be nice)
    Sealed Pot Challenge 11 #553
    £1000 Emergency Fund Challenge #253
    Wombling free 2017 = £2195.92
    Pay off all your debts by Xmas 2017 #53 (£3168.45/£3000)
    February 2018 Credit Card Debt: £3885
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 20th Jan 18, 8:16 PM
    • 52,929 Posts
    • 208,316 Thanks
    beanielou
    Also please speak to the Shelter helpline who can advise.
    My DS & his GF have the same problem & it is now sffecting their health
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 2 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.***
    ***Keep plodding***
    Out of debt, out of danger.
    • Silver Queen
    • By Silver Queen 20th Jan 18, 8:28 PM
    • 345 Posts
    • 1,704 Thanks
    Silver Queen
    Hi Flo, I agree with the others that you should seek advice but thought I'd add my two pennies worth. When I was at uni I lived in a house with a huge amount of damp and mould and sought advice about it. The consensus was that it depends on the type of mould. If it's rising damp then the landlord is liable and needs to fix it. If it's surface mould (it almost always is surface mould) then the tenant is responsible for dealing with it.

    A few things that we found helped us significantly:

    1. Don't have posters, pictures etc on the walls, basically anything that covers the wall and will trap humidity as the mould will grow under there and spread.
    2. Try to keep the heating on as much as you can over the winter. Raises your fuel cost, yes, but will make it harder for mould to grow, which is important for your health.
    3. When showering/bathing, keep the window open. It's bloody freezing yes but it lets out the steam which is a huge factor.
    5. If possible, give the walls a coat of anti-mould paint as this will help stop the mould.
    6. Make sure you clean off all the mould that you can see as soon as you see it. You can get mould sprays but we found that bleach and water with a washing up sponge worked just as well. If you can get a mask whilst you do this, it's pretty bearable and quick.
    7. Besides contacting CAB you can try to contact your local council/housing team. This is what we did and they helped us a bit too (we were privately renting but they still helped).

    There's ways of figuring out if it's surface mould or rising damp. I don't remember anymore but I'm sure a quick google will tell you or otherwise you can take pictures and show the people at CAB if/when you go to see them.

    Hope this helps and you can get it sorted soon, I know how horrible it is living in a damp mouldy environment x
    Debt Totals April 2018::
    £350 Natwest Credit Card / Now £0 (paid off and closed 04/2017) £15,500 postgrad loan from parents/ Now £10,500 £500 train ticket loan from parents / Now £0 (paid off 16/02/18) £2,000 Overdraft Now £0 (paid off 09/03/18)
    • Seasidegal58
    • By Seasidegal58 21st Jan 18, 12:11 PM
    • 1,879 Posts
    • 11,454 Thanks
    Seasidegal58
    Some really good advice there from Silver Queen which should help you coping with the mould whilst living in the flat.

    Your low level of rent is an indicator of the state of the house. Do you actually need a house or would a flat suit you just as well after you have decluttered and have an idea of how much room you need. Maybe a one-bedroom would be an idea as it is just the two of you as it would be more affordable?
    Finally Debt Free! - July 2016
    Finished Emergency Fund- £10,000 April 2017

    Next Scrimpy Goal - Ad Hoc Savings - 26/04/2018: £591.90
    MONTHS TO RETIREMENT: 36!
    My diary: “Paid off the £31,0000! BUT- still scrimping!”
    • Florence J
    • By Florence J 29th Jan 18, 1:19 PM
    • 1,893 Posts
    • 11,177 Thanks
    Florence J
    Also please speak to the Shelter helpline who can advise.
    My DS & his GF have the same problem & it is now sffecting their health
    Originally posted by beanielou
    Hi Flo, I agree with the others that you should seek advice but thought I'd add my two pennies worth. When I was at uni I lived in a house with a huge amount of damp and mould and sought advice about it. The consensus was that it depends on the type of mould. If it's rising damp then the landlord is liable and needs to fix it. If it's surface mould (it almost always is surface mould) then the tenant is responsible for dealing with it.

    A few things that we found helped us significantly:

    1. Don't have posters, pictures etc on the walls, basically anything that covers the wall and will trap humidity as the mould will grow under there and spread.
    2. Try to keep the heating on as much as you can over the winter. Raises your fuel cost, yes, but will make it harder for mould to grow, which is important for your health.
    3. When showering/bathing, keep the window open. It's bloody freezing yes but it lets out the steam which is a huge factor.
    5. If possible, give the walls a coat of anti-mould paint as this will help stop the mould.
    6. Make sure you clean off all the mould that you can see as soon as you see it. You can get mould sprays but we found that bleach and water with a washing up sponge worked just as well. If you can get a mask whilst you do this, it's pretty bearable and quick.
    7. Besides contacting CAB you can try to contact your local council/housing team. This is what we did and they helped us a bit too (we were privately renting but they still helped).

    There's ways of figuring out if it's surface mould or rising damp. I don't remember anymore but I'm sure a quick google will tell you or otherwise you can take pictures and show the people at CAB if/when you go to see them.

    Hope this helps and you can get it sorted soon, I know how horrible it is living in a damp mouldy environment x
    Originally posted by Silver Queen
    Some really good advice there from Silver Queen which should help you coping with the mould whilst living in the flat.

    Your low level of rent is an indicator of the state of the house. Do you actually need a house or would a flat suit you just as well after you have decluttered and have an idea of how much room you need. Maybe a one-bedroom would be an idea as it is just the two of you as it would be more affordable?
    Originally posted by Seasidegal58
    Thank you all for your suggestions and replies.

    I'll admit I am not completely certain about what type of mould is what but in the hall we have what I would say is rising damp, and the rest may be surface damp.

    We have little in the way of things on the wall, the things we do have are not affected by mould/damp.

    Our heating is one pretty consistently and we try to open the windows as often as we can. We always have the dehumidifier on in the bedroom when we are drying clothes (no washing line, no tumble dryer) but it won't work if the window or door are open so we keep them closed then.

    We do have a lot of stuff, but I went on a major selling spree last year and got rid of an easy 40% of stuff I own, what remains out of my possessions would cause me heartache to reduce further but there are some things I am debating, so there is potential to get rid of more.

    OH needs to declutter but rarely finds the times to.

    We can easily get rid of some bigger items but we have no car and have to rely on a friend to take us to the tip and as her car is small we might not be able to fit in everything anyway, even if it is broken up or we make multiple trips.

    I really want to hire a skip.
    Sealed Pot Challenge 11 #553
    £1000 Emergency Fund Challenge #253
    Wombling free 2017 = £2195.92
    Pay off all your debts by Xmas 2017 #53 (£3168.45/£3000)
    February 2018 Credit Card Debt: £3885
    • natsplatnat
    • By natsplatnat 29th Jan 18, 1:44 PM
    • 2,784 Posts
    • 2,460 Thanks
    natsplatnat
    Salt in a container (jam jar / margarine tub / vase etc) sat on the window cill (or corner of a room) will help absorb some of the moisture. It definitely wont solve your damp, but may just help!
    LBM ,- Wed 19th Nov 2008 £21,225 PAID OFF
    *DEBT FREE 28th September 2015*
    *2017 cashback pending £175.35, paid £??*
    (2011=£137.30, 12=£66.39, 13=£102.61, 14=£214.97, 15=£159.51 16=£213.05) 17= to be calculated
    Pro.Ac £23.81 + £126.19 paid
    SAVINGS TO CLEAR STUDENT LOAN £0.00 (£528.56 paid off)

    • jvr
    • By jvr 1st Feb 18, 10:58 AM
    • 420 Posts
    • 1,304 Thanks
    jvr
    Hi Flo,


    finally caught up on your old diary and the new! I think you totally underestimate the fact that even with that time off work you haven't got in a worse situation. With OH off we certainly have as I suddenly felt oh what's the point and kept spending.
    I'm probably totally out of line but I don't understand the mine and yours attitude of your OH. You live together and I think if you need to move but you cant afford to, your OH would soak up the cost. Sorry if I'm out of line on this.
    With regards to mental health someone once said to me that ' good times don't last forever, but neither do bad times' it really helped me when I was struggling to think of it as just a wavey line that would naturally go back up
    Debt: £10,006 now £8698.38
    Emergency Fund: 456.17/ £1000


    • Seasidegal58
    • By Seasidegal58 9th Feb 18, 7:33 PM
    • 1,879 Posts
    • 11,454 Thanks
    Seasidegal58
    Hi Flo. Hope all is well.
    SSG x
    Finally Debt Free! - July 2016
    Finished Emergency Fund- £10,000 April 2017

    Next Scrimpy Goal - Ad Hoc Savings - 26/04/2018: £591.90
    MONTHS TO RETIREMENT: 36!
    My diary: “Paid off the £31,0000! BUT- still scrimping!”
    • Florence J
    • By Florence J 12th Feb 18, 7:47 PM
    • 1,893 Posts
    • 11,177 Thanks
    Florence J
    Hi Flo,


    finally caught up on your old diary and the new! I think you totally underestimate the fact that even with that time off work you haven't got in a worse situation. With OH off we certainly have as I suddenly felt oh what's the point and kept spending.
    I'm probably totally out of line but I don't understand the mine and yours attitude of your OH. You live together and I think if you need to move but you cant afford to, your OH would soak up the cost. Sorry if I'm out of line on this.
    With regards to mental health someone once said to me that ' good times don't last forever, but neither do bad times' it really helped me when I was struggling to think of it as just a wavey line that would naturally go back up
    Originally posted by jvr
    Hi Flo. Hope all is well.
    SSG x
    Originally posted by Seasidegal58
    Hello both,

    JVR - How lovely to have you pop by, I hope you are well, do you have a new diary or still using your old one?

    Many people have commented on OH's way of seeing things, usually siding with me whether I expect it or not. OH is generous, it is not a case of he would never spontaneously treat me, or if he buys me a drink whilst out he doesn't demand me to buy one back.

    BUT, when it comes to bills, he has always been 'it's 50/50' all the way. When I was once earning significantly lower then him I approached him asking if we could split the bills percentage based on our earnings and he said No.

    The fact is I have borrowed over £23000 from him over the years, and he wants it back. That is not an insignificant amount of money.

    Ok, so that money has come from him supporting me when I have struggled employment wise, so maybe it seems a bit cruel that he wants it all back, but if I had borrowed that money in one lump sum to buy a house or start a business or something, then it would only be fair I pay him back, right?

    The fact remains OH is never going to change his opinion. All bills must be split 50/50, and I must pay him back. That's about all I can say.

    The worrying thing is he has implied he would also expect me to pay him back if he supported me when we have children and i'm either a stay at home mum or on low mat pay. That I feel would be unfair.

    SSG- Thanks for checking in. I want to assure you and anyone else that my absence over long periods of time is not because I have fallen into a dark hole mentally, it is just that I have been going to the gym a lot and taking care of housework and cooking from scratch and all that takes time. As much as I pine for MSE time, the other things need to come first.

    The good news is it is paying off, as since mid January I have lost slightly over 12 pounds. I was 15 stone 12.75 Lbs, now I am 15 St 0.125 lbs. I treat it as if I am doing slimming world in that I have an official weigh in day which is Saturday, and OH is using his graphic designer skills to make me half stone and stone award certificates.

    I am still very scared to talk openly about losing weight, as over the last 2 years I have fluctuated up and down by 18 pounds. I go on a health kick and all is going well, and then suddenly life gets in the way and I put it all back on. I feel that is going to happen again.

    The reason why I feel that is going to happen again is that because I am only an agency worker where I work, I am on £7.65 an hour, which even full time equals a bit under £1000 a month and I don't have enough to achieve my financial goals.

    So I pretty much have to get a part time job at the weekends.

    Which scares me as I find normal Monday to Friday full time work taxing enough, and I am only just about getting what I need to get done each week, and I haven't been on here properly for ages.

    So I am scared. I guess I should at least try it, but also it is hard finding a 'just' weekend job, and so far I have seen and applied for two I was quite excited about but didn't get a single sniff of a response from. And most weekend jobs are things like catering, which I am not as scared of anymore, but I last worked in catering over 2 years ago so that might not be a good avenue to go down.

    I don't want to burn out and lose everything I have worked so hard for, my stability in my mental health, my weight loss, my happiness, my work/life balance.
    Sealed Pot Challenge 11 #553
    £1000 Emergency Fund Challenge #253
    Wombling free 2017 = £2195.92
    Pay off all your debts by Xmas 2017 #53 (£3168.45/£3000)
    February 2018 Credit Card Debt: £3885
    • Joshuaa25
    • By Joshuaa25 12th Feb 18, 8:10 PM
    • 45 Posts
    • 19 Thanks
    Joshuaa25
    Hello Flo,


    Glad you've taken it all on the chin and wanting to sort your debt out glad it's going well any luck finding a part time job?


    After reading your thread the one thing that doesn't sit right is your OH probably does sound out of line but from what you say he earns more then you so why doesn't he step up and help you? Surely if he wants paid back his money him taking on more house bills isn't a bad idea. Me & my OH split all the house bills 50/50 and we keep our money separate I make more then her but she's better with money so she treats her self more but if anything in the house needs done I'll always pay for it because the difference in wage. Maybe to be debt free the OH needs to change his mind set?
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 12th Feb 18, 9:15 PM
    • 52,929 Posts
    • 208,316 Thanks
    beanielou
    I dont really feel it is my place to comment but I do feel your OH's stance on the money is unfair. Especially if you do have children.
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 2 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.***
    ***Keep plodding***
    Out of debt, out of danger.
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 12th Feb 18, 9:19 PM
    • 52,929 Posts
    • 208,316 Thanks
    beanielou
    So actually I dont think your OH is long suffering.
    I think on that on the other hand you are.
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 2 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.***
    ***Keep plodding***
    Out of debt, out of danger.
    • jvr
    • By jvr 13th Feb 18, 7:44 AM
    • 420 Posts
    • 1,304 Thanks
    jvr
    Hi Flo,


    Do you do most of the housework/ cooking? I'm just thinking that if you do, you are contributing more time wise and that should have a value... just as if you had children then staying off you are contributing and allowing him to have a career etc. and that has a value which actually you can calculate a monetary value! Maybe its worth a discussion that you are willing to take on a larger chunk of all household jobs allowing him to relax but that it has a calculated value which he either pays to bills or knocks off your debt.
    There have been times when I have thought about how getting a weekend job could knock huge amounts off my debt but to be honest I wouldn't cope mentally I'm not sure how anyone does and I would think very carefully about taking on that burden.


    I think your doing amazingly well and maybe its time to have a look at what you do in the relationship and place value on it.... as you say your OH is very firm so maybe stand up and be firm on what you feel as well?
    Debt: £10,006 now £8698.38
    Emergency Fund: 456.17/ £1000


    • Nob0dy
    • By Nob0dy 13th Feb 18, 1:21 PM
    • 19 Posts
    • 43 Thanks
    Nob0dy
    Just come across this thread, and it looks like you are your worst enemy. You are undervaluing yourself and looking at it the wrong way.

    I have been depressed myself, most of it was not being able to admit to myself that I was my problem. I would put up excuses for everything and got to a very low point (let's not get into details in public), the world was unfair, I just came out wrong and all those silly thoughts, up to the point when I snapped and I started fixing everything.

    The horrible thing about depression is that, in short, you just have to man up and get things done, but when you're in the position it's the last thing you want to hear and it takes time to wrap your head around it. I'll leave it here for now, but if you are so inclined I could delve more into specifics.


    Now, talking business, you say you lack confidence and when you see jobs you don't apply as you tell yourself you can't do the job, well, I tell you how I've got mine.


    I went through some bad depression when I was living in London in my old job, the job and the city were making me miserable, so I decided that in order to have a positive change I needed a new job, by getting one out of town I would have solved two problems; so I started applying for anything out of town and told myself that I would have taken the first offer that could have got me out of there.

    This job offer came by almost a year later I was trying to get into a field for which I was under qualified, believe me when I tell you I've had recruiter laughing in my face, anyway, it was sent by an agency to a mate of mine, but he didn't want to move out of London and knew I was interested, was a bit out of reach but there were bits I could work on, so I got in touch with the recruiter, he saw that I wasn't really up to standard but decided to give it a shot, so I got called for an interview, and it was the only one time I've got a job after being over 2 hours late.

    7 years ago did that big winter, was -14 in London, the day of my interview had snowed and the trains were delayed, so I called and told them there was an issue with transports and I would have got there at some point, but wasn't sure when. My train arrived and took me to destinations, due to snow there was no local transport and I had no idea where I was going, so I had to walk, took me almost an hour and a half of walking in the snow, but I found the place.

    I had my interview and I was called back a few days later, they were impressed with my sheer will and determination, they had better candidates but nobody wanted it as much as I did. Most people called in and asked to postpone due to snow, I didn't, I walked in the middle of nowhere because that was my opportunity and not even Mother flippin' Nature herself was going to take it from me, and so they offered me a job. Due to me being under qualified they actually went below the salary range they originally offered, couldn't care less, it was a straight double up from my old job.

    If you want something, go for it, don't let anyone tell you different, most of all, don't tell yourself you can't, you can do anything you set your mind to.
    • Seasidegal58
    • By Seasidegal58 13th Feb 18, 10:10 PM
    • 1,879 Posts
    • 11,454 Thanks
    Seasidegal58
    Hi Flo - well done on the weight loss!

    Reading these boards over the years it appears that couples have very different methods of sharing the financial responsibilities- there doesn’t seem to be any cookie cutter, one size fits all method. However my feeling would be that the bills worked out in proportion to the salary each of you brings home would be fair. After all you are a couple - not house mates.

    The enormous thing that jumped out at me though is your OH’s attitude if you had a child. I don’t think I’ve ever heard of a stay at home mother being expected to pay her other half back financially! What with?! You will be in effect caring and bringing up his and your own child and what jvr wrote makes sense too.

    You have said he won’t change his mindset, but I think a big discussion would be necessary before you decide to start a family.

    SSG x
    Finally Debt Free! - July 2016
    Finished Emergency Fund- £10,000 April 2017

    Next Scrimpy Goal - Ad Hoc Savings - 26/04/2018: £591.90
    MONTHS TO RETIREMENT: 36!
    My diary: “Paid off the £31,0000! BUT- still scrimping!”
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