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    • coastalchick
    • By coastalchick 5th Jan 18, 12:40 PM
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    coastalchick
    2018: Saving for Wedding and potential IVF
    • #1
    • 5th Jan 18, 12:40 PM
    2018: Saving for Wedding and potential IVF 5th Jan 18 at 12:40 PM
    As it's a new year, I thought a new diary was appropriate. Plus, I was glad to see the back of 2017 so didn't really want to carry on a new diary.

    About me: turning 40 this year, engaged, 1 cat. 2017 was a strange year. Ups: OH and I bought a house and got engaged, Downs: Cat had to have 3 surgeries (though he is fine now) and I had a miscarriage at the end of August. It was our first child and it was literally the worst experience of my life. Trying again but it's not happening. Seeing specialist 15 Jan to see what he advises. But potentially might need to go for IVF as suspect miscarriage was down to my egg quality with my age.

    We got engaged on a Friday and by the Monday we had decided on a date for wedding 5 months after, On the Tuesday we found out we were pregnant. Planned but unexpected as it was our first go. So we postponed the wedding and set another 2 potential dates for after baby due. However, 8 weeks later, found out we had lost the baby and are now a bit in limbo. Can't decide whether to just elope or just get on and book a big day for say June/July to give me chance to lose weight. Could well get pregnant in that time and worries are, if I do: morning sickness on the day (suffered from it SO badly last time), or miscarrying again. Also put off big day in case we need the cash for IVF. So many bloody issues!!!!

    ANYWAY. I have no debt (though was in debt massively in my 20's) other than mortgage. But savings were massively depleted when we bought house last year. Pension only just been started though have a flat in Tooting which is part of my pension. Ok financially but still worry. And particularly now because of potential costs of wedding/IVF.

    So need to keep self on straight and narrow!!!

    Tonight or tomorrow is big shop and have made a list. Won't be cheapest as we are going to try to do healthy stuff. No plans for weekend going out AT ALL for whole of January which am very very happy about!!!!

    Lunch today will be some fried eggs and wholemeal bread from stores.
Page 4
    • coastalchick
    • By coastalchick 6th Apr 18, 8:34 AM
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    coastalchick
    Well, so much for not going out on weekend! We ended up going for coffee and cake on Sat as we had got up early and done b&q, then picked carpet, though was only 8.80/2 so not that bad. Sun we ended up lunch out but was 17/2 so not like a big roast or anything. And we didn't spend anything other than that.

    Tues we paid deposit for carpet for nursery - whole thing fitted going to be 550 which seems a lot to me as we already have underlay but it is a big room and it's a nice plush carpet plus grey to try to hide dirt!!!! Nursery almost done now, just waiting on finding some wall lights (the ones in there are very adult - OH ordered some cloud ones but when they came they were awful and scratched so are being sent back) so will have to get electrician in as OH has managed to damage something when he was painting. Then carpet. Then we just need a few other bits which am going to try and pick up second hand (like nursing chair etc) and then it's done! A long way ahead and anything can happen but we have so much else to do round house that we wanted to get that room done first.

    Also had to pay for coffees Tues as went with a friend and she had picked up last time - 5.40. And needed a sandwich that day - 3.20. Have bought a few bits this week here and there as well too - approx 30/2.

    House insurance renewal came and it was 450 - I already have 213 for my share put away so only a few pounds more for me so that's good.

    We are not out this weekend, though may grab take out tomorrow. We stupidly ordered our wedding rings a few weeks ago when we thought we'd elope and they are here/ready so going to try them tomorrow and will have to pay for them! Will put those on the credit card and pay for them out of our pay at end of month - suspecting will be around 1500 for the two - OH's was ordered and mine was being made from a ring of my grandma's so just hoping he's listened to the brief and done a good job!!!! Such a nice way to re-use a ring of hers I would never have worn (it really was a hideous ring!) - did the same with another one and had it made into a necklace. My mum had given me 3 of grandma's rings.

    Got to do big shop this weekend also - but going to check cupboards and freezer to see what we can use up to make it cheaper.

    Pay for maternity now gone weird - so they're putting my paid holiday in the middle, after end of my 19 weeks paid, but before my 8 weeks unpaid. Not sure if this is so they can take the SMP for those weeks but I don't think they can because that is holiday which I am entitled to. So wondering if they just take 18 weeks SMP off me? Might have to clarify how it works. Kinda works better that way as means it's only March where I get nothing at all, but that is when bonuses are paid so should hopefully get a bonus then.

    I think I know deep down we are ok financially, but because I've been in an awful debt situation before, I am just very paranoid about making sure we always have enough. I think whilst we are both working we are ok, but guess I worry about retirement a lot. Then I think I should go back to work (a) full time and (b) as a proper lawyer so can capitalise my earnings. But I hated it so much and I'm already upset at the thought of having to leave my baby for 4 days a week!
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 6th Apr 18, 11:55 AM
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    enthusiasticsaver
    So you get 19 weeks full pay then holiday on full pay then SMP? How long are you planning to take off? My DD is on maternity leave expecting DGD2 at the moment. She got holiday on full pay first then maternity pay then SMP.

    To be honest I would not worry about retirement, just as long as your pensions are covered. It is child care costs my DD and son in law find tough as do many other young families. We have DGD1 one day a week and will also have the baby, other grandparents do a day and the girls will be in nursery from 9 to 3 on the other 3 days. My DD works part time since having kids both from the point of view of finances and keeping her foot in the door at work and minimising childcare costs and spending time with the babies. My DGD1 gets her 30 free hours next January just as baby starts. Age gap worked out deliberately by DD.

    It is a shame if you hate your job but maybe working less hours would be better for you? Will you have any grandparents help with childcare?
    Debt free and mortgage free and early retiree. Living the dream

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages and Endowments, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
    • coastalchick
    • By coastalchick 6th Apr 18, 1:51 PM
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    coastalchick
    Yep 19 weeks full pay, 2 weeks paid hol before baby due and 2 weeks full pay after my 19 weeks ends then 8 weeks on SMP (I live offshore so diff rules to uk). In total just over 7 months off, so 2 unpaid.

    Thankfully we won't have any childcare costs as MIL is looking after him 4 days a week so I can work. Work have allowed me to change my hours from 8-330 with a half hour lunch so I should be with him by 4 each day latest. Then will have weekend and either a fri or mon off or do a half day mon and half day fri. I know we are v lucky to have MIL, she did same for OH's sister (and still does) but the eldest grandchild now in school and the other one will by by next sept so she will only have 3 of them at once for around 45 mins doing pick ups from school as I'll be at hers by 4 latest to collect ours (and sometimes she'll have 3 of them in school hols). My parents live in uk so can't help though may come over for a week here and there.

    I think I only worry as I was in serious debt at uni and for a few years after, after trying to keep up with the Jones's. I have learnt my lesson on that one and am quite quick to pull myself back from it when I feel it happening again. For example, we only have 1 car at the moment - only reason being in our last place we didn't have any parking so it was hard enough finding a spot for 1 car, let alone 2. So OH sold his car and we've managed with 1 since then (over a year). But now, we need to think about getting another before the baby as he might need a car whilst I'm on mat leave and so it is too diff with only 1. Then when I go back to work, he is going to have to do the drop offs at his mums as I will be starting at 8 and I will do pick ups so he is going to need a car.

    Anyway, the car we have is fine but not flash and I was thinking I'd trade up and get a nice car. But if we are getting a decent one for him (I say him but it will be mainly used by me on maternity and he will have the other one, but will be the family car for holidays etc as will be more reliable) then if I get one too that's a big chunk every month. So have reined it in and decided we will keep my car, and just focus on getting 1 decent one between us. In the past, I'd have been straight to the dealer signing on the dotted line just because I wanted something "nice". Now I'm thinking the money would be better saved.

    Still spent 54 in supermarket - did get a few extras but not many! Though that it much cheaper than normal. Bought OH some beers which weren't on my list but they were only about 4.
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 6th Apr 18, 2:03 PM
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    enthusiasticsaver
    You are very lucky to have your MIL look after your baby for 4 days. I find 1 day is exhausting looking after my DGD1 and we will have DGD2 on the same day which is fine but think I would struggle with 4 days. Obviously if our DD was struggling financially though we would help more. As you say if she has done that many days for a while she is obviously used to it. That will save you a fortune and it sounds like you have learnt your lesson re not getting into unnecessary debt.

    Getting an extra car is another expense but if you start work that early it makes sense for your OH to do the drop offs and you do the pick ups. The only difficulty with that is needing 2 child seats which are not cheap. I guess you could take it in and out but they are a bit of a faff. DD has just ordered an isofix base for baby as DGD1 is still using hers. Luckily as she works part time short days she does drop offs and pick ups so her DH doesn't bother with seats in his company car.
    Debt free and mortgage free and early retiree. Living the dream

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages and Endowments, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
    • coastalchick
    • By coastalchick 7th Apr 18, 12:09 PM
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    coastalchick
    Gah, OH decided wanted something different for tea tonight (parsnip and pancetta pasta which, to be fair, is my fave so I can't really say no!!) so we got ingredients for that (plus choc and a cake) so 16.16/2). He's just spent 24/2 in b&q but that is to start on hallway which needs doing and cheaper than getting someone in so can't complain.

    Then 6.50/2 on worming tabs for the cat!

    Went in to see wedding rings, I am not happy with mine. He's not really listened to the brief or taken note of the pics I showed him so am going to go back on Monday and show him what I wanted - it might be he can't do that due to shape of my engagement ring/size of diamonds but he's charging me 1100 for it (originally said was 750) so got to be happy. It was just really thick and the diamonds were set down in the ring rather than up on top which is what I'd wanted - but not sure what happens if not fully happy - guess I just have to live with it as guessing still have to pay?
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 7th Apr 18, 2:33 PM
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    enthusiasticsaver
    I would be a bit gobsmacked he upped the price to 1100 without checking first to make sure that ok. I would not be happy paying for something that bore no resemblance to the original brief.
    Debt free and mortgage free and early retiree. Living the dream

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages and Endowments, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
    • coastalchick
    • By coastalchick 7th Apr 18, 3:23 PM
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    coastalchick
    yep I know - I think it's because the amount of platinum required was more than he originally thought as the diamonds were bigger. I've called and he's now on hols for a week so have said not to do any more work on it as I'm not sure about it. I'll pop in when he's back and go through it with him - to be fair, it might be because of the diamonds, I'm not sure. I think he will be fine as I do buy quite a lot from him so hopefully he will sort it out.
    • louby40
    • By louby40 8th Apr 18, 1:48 PM
    • 1,332 Posts
    • 3,633 Thanks
    louby40
    Congratulations on your baby news!

    Boys are fab! I have 2 boys now aged 18 and 14.
    Emergency fund 1071/1000. Christmas savings 250/600 Car maintenance 155/600
    Chip savings 163 TOTAL savings = 1731
    Kitchen July 2017 12,493 APRIL 8493
    Barclaycard 673
    Car loan 1908 Mortgage 93392
    TOTAL DEBT (with mortgage) = 104,466 (without mortgage) = 11074
    • coastalchick
    • By coastalchick 11th Apr 18, 2:26 PM
    • 279 Posts
    • 457 Thanks
    coastalchick
    Been signed off work since start of week and put on an inhaler! Am fine, it's just a cold but up most of the night coughing guts up which isn't pleasant!

    MSE wise, not great but could be worse. On sunday bought a rocking chair thing and playmat second hand from someone I know - 20 - but 10 was from a desk I'd sold and 10 my dad sent us to get an easter egg so glad it covered that. Both things were in vgc and are each around 50 new so good saving there.

    Carpet is now down in nursery so OH and I each to pay 137 as we'd already paid deposit. Looks good - just need to order some cloud lights now and then get the stickers up and it's not far off done!

    OH has started painting hallway - it's white with taupe for the skirtings/doorways - think it is looking good but will be in paint.

    Other than that, not spending really (other than on things like prescription and top up milk etc) as off sick!

    Need to order some more maternity clothes but going to look at finances in a mo and see what I can justify given carpets, paint etc and fact we will need to do a big shop this friday.

    Get paid next friday so will then be a whole new month's budget, though it is not stretching all that far at the moment given paint, carpets and baby stuff being bought!!!
    • coastalchick
    • By coastalchick 12th Apr 18, 11:27 AM
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    • 457 Thanks
    coastalchick
    Still off sick and seem to be going downhill - feeling generally grotty, exhausted and coughing a lot. Not pleasant!!!!

    OH just buying bits each day so not too much thankfully. Need him to get me something for my tea tonight as he is out for a curry.

    Thinking of having jacket potato with cheese and beans for lunch from stores as have not really been eating much and apparently should be gaining 1lb a week in second trimester.

    Life pretty dull at the moment - doing nothing but sleeping or watching tv due to illness
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 12th Apr 18, 11:42 AM
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    enthusiasticsaver
    Sorry for you feeling poorly. I think pregnancy reduces your immunity to viruses etc . Exciting to get all the nursery ready.

    We are expecting our DGD2 any day as DD admitted to hospital earlier this week with pre eclampsia so will deliver early when doctors feel she is ready. She had it with her first DD so I am not surprised.

    Hope you feel better soon.
    Debt free and mortgage free and early retiree. Living the dream

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages and Endowments, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
    • coastalchick
    • By coastalchick 12th Apr 18, 3:32 PM
    • 279 Posts
    • 457 Thanks
    coastalchick
    Thanks ES. Hope your daughter coping ok with the PE and that your DGD2 is here soon!!!
    • coastalchick
    • By coastalchick 13th Apr 18, 8:22 AM
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    • 457 Thanks
    coastalchick
    Another 45 each yesterday for taking away 2 bags of mixed waste - gah! We do tend to hoof off what we can/recycle but there are some things which just have to go to tip.

    I think I am going to try to flog a load of stuff this weekend - I have a set of golf clubs which have been used twice and are taking up room. Wondering whether to flog or keep. Even if I wanted to, given we have a LO on the way, it's going to be YEARS (poss 18!) until I could actually have time to play! So thinking flog. Also trying to flog my desperate housewives full boxset but am missing 1 DVD (how annoying!!!). Got loads of DVDs to flog but people don't tend to want them these days (as a lot is on sky boxsets/netflix) so mine end up going to charity shop in end.

    OH went out for curry last night (lucky thing) so got me a lasagne for tea which was nice. Had a relaxing evening with the cat watching Criminal Minds. Tonight we are getting take away but will be somewhere between 21 and 25 depending on if OH wants the side salad. We haven't had it in ages so a treat.

    Got about 375 left until get paid on 20th. Tonight's take away and a big shop to do. Though OH wants me to get seeds and trays for greenhouse so might have to spend on that. I am also in desperate need of some more maternity wear - have quite a few things in my basket online though tempted to wait until 20 week scan (2-3 weeks depending on when they do it) in case anything wrong. That said, we go away on 8th May for a few days and I probs do need some stuff before then and it might not arrive if don't order it now.

    Might just see how much we spend over weekend on shopping, paint and seeds and what's left I can spend on clothes. Would love to save some of this month's budget money however, but I really do need some more maternity wear as I have to be dressed!
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