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  • FIRST POST
    • coastalchick
    • By coastalchick 5th Jan 18, 12:40 PM
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    coastalchick
    2018: Saving for Wedding and potential IVF
    • #1
    • 5th Jan 18, 12:40 PM
    2018: Saving for Wedding and potential IVF 5th Jan 18 at 12:40 PM
    As it's a new year, I thought a new diary was appropriate. Plus, I was glad to see the back of 2017 so didn't really want to carry on a new diary.

    About me: turning 40 this year, engaged, 1 cat. 2017 was a strange year. Ups: OH and I bought a house and got engaged, Downs: Cat had to have 3 surgeries (though he is fine now) and I had a miscarriage at the end of August. It was our first child and it was literally the worst experience of my life. Trying again but it's not happening. Seeing specialist 15 Jan to see what he advises. But potentially might need to go for IVF as suspect miscarriage was down to my egg quality with my age.

    We got engaged on a Friday and by the Monday we had decided on a date for wedding 5 months after, On the Tuesday we found out we were pregnant. Planned but unexpected as it was our first go. So we postponed the wedding and set another 2 potential dates for after baby due. However, 8 weeks later, found out we had lost the baby and are now a bit in limbo. Can't decide whether to just elope or just get on and book a big day for say June/July to give me chance to lose weight. Could well get pregnant in that time and worries are, if I do: morning sickness on the day (suffered from it SO badly last time), or miscarrying again. Also put off big day in case we need the cash for IVF. So many bloody issues!!!!

    ANYWAY. I have no debt (though was in debt massively in my 20's) other than mortgage. But savings were massively depleted when we bought house last year. Pension only just been started though have a flat in Tooting which is part of my pension. Ok financially but still worry. And particularly now because of potential costs of wedding/IVF.

    So need to keep self on straight and narrow!!!

    Tonight or tomorrow is big shop and have made a list. Won't be cheapest as we are going to try to do healthy stuff. No plans for weekend going out AT ALL for whole of January which am very very happy about!!!!

    Lunch today will be some fried eggs and wholemeal bread from stores.
Page 2
    • coastalchick
    • By coastalchick 10th Jan 18, 7:43 AM
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    coastalchick
    Thanks Dgmum. Am out this month as AF arrived this morning. But I'm going to pull up my big girl pants and focus on the wedding instead. By monday lunchtime we will be able to make a decision as to whether to get married in June (or we might even go for May!). S*ds law I will get pregnant the minute we've paid the deposits but if so, then so be it.

    Yesterday was a NSD as had a free sandwich lunch at work and took snacks in. Today I do need a few (expensive) bits so won't be a NSD but will limit it where I can.

    We have an issue with our wall at home so got the structural engineer coming on friday - so we might have to fork out a fair whack for a repair on that. And also my Tooting property is having electrical checks done - have a feeling it might need re-wiring!
    • sauceoclock
    • By sauceoclock 12th Jan 18, 9:54 AM
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    sauceoclock
    Pleased to hear you're considering a wedding this year, fingers crossed that it is the day you want and deserve! I'd love to elope when OH and I get married as his family are not really present and my family will absolutely try and meddle!!

    2017 was such a weird year for me and my OH so I can attest to it being an odd year for many! Sounds lovely that you're starting the year re-decorating the new house, just make sure you don't take too much on because you need time to continue trying for a baby and you so frequently hear that as soon as individuals relax it happens naturally (though I sometimes find that irritating to hear when people are telling me about my fertility struggles!!).

    How did the Tooting checks go?
    Loan: £3,600 £2,179.70
    Credit Card: £1,758.95 £1,433.95
    Goal Debt-Free Date: February 2019
    Rainy-Day £6,000: £760
    • coastalchick
    • By coastalchick 12th Jan 18, 11:01 AM
    • 288 Posts
    • 462 Thanks
    coastalchick
    Thanks Sauce!

    So. Hmmmm. Been a bit up and down MSE wise this week. Been good and taken lunch/snacks to work every day. However, I wanted to start running again and to do that need music. Could not find mu shuffle charger anywhere so bought one - £15.95. Then when got home that night, found the bloody charger!!! Going to try to take that back today but not sure if they will give me a refund as is a local shop. Will try. £5.98 in b**ts on shampoo and painkillers - both necessary. Had lunch out with old boss yesterday but he paid. So that's good.

    However, we have a big issue with our outside wall. When we had survey done to buy this place we were told it was potentially an issue (so won't be covered by insurance) but it's got worse. So structural engineer came round this am and it needs stitching/possibly underpinning. Not sure what he's charging for the visit but we also have to get surveyor back on Tues to get his view before sorting out asap. Budgeting 5k in hope it will be less. So that may throw a spanner in works re wedding.

    OH learning to fly at the moment which is expensive. But it makes him happy so don't want him to have to stop doing that. So maybe will get married next year instead. Grrrrr.

    Though he has a viewing on his (rented) flat on sat. If that sells then we will have a chunk. But want him to invest it.

    Not heard from agent yet re electric checks. Hoping that means that it was ok.

    Today have lunch with friend who is moving to Aus next fri but should be cheap. Need petrol and pre-natal vits (which are pricey) but we are not going out this weekend and though we have a shop to do, don't think we need a whole lot. It's then pay day 19th and a new budget.

    I am going to try to knock £250 a month off my spending budget and see how that goes. And squirrel that £250 into savings.
    • sauceoclock
    • By sauceoclock 12th Jan 18, 2:51 PM
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    sauceoclock
    Sounds tough paying a premium on your shopping, I hadn't realised you weren't on the mainland! My ex's family lived in Lymington and used to sale over to the Isle of Wight regularly and it was SOOO pricey there!
    Loan: £3,600 £2,179.70
    Credit Card: £1,758.95 £1,433.95
    Goal Debt-Free Date: February 2019
    Rainy-Day £6,000: £760
    • EscapingTheAlarm
    • By EscapingTheAlarm 12th Jan 18, 4:53 PM
    • 102 Posts
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    EscapingTheAlarm
    I!!!8217;m keeping my fingers crossed for you that your wall comes in under budget!
    ETA x
    • FiscalPickle
    • By FiscalPickle 12th Jan 18, 5:46 PM
    • 116 Posts
    • 285 Thanks
    FiscalPickle
    Hi coastal, I am offshore too, it does get expensive. Good luck with the specialist x
    DFD - 26/10/19
    In the process of shedding £20k and 35lbs
    • coastalchick
    • By coastalchick 19th Jan 18, 8:25 AM
    • 288 Posts
    • 462 Thanks
    coastalchick
    Not been the best week spending wise!!!! Took the iPod charger back and got a refund so that was good. But spent over £30 on pre-natal vits (essential though). In real terms, was only the cost of the charger plus around £3 as OH pays half (as it's to benefit him too by making sure I'm healthy for a kid!).

    Lunch with friend was £21 and only 1 course each - more than I thought as place she had picked had been re-furbed and put prices up. Was nice though and won't get to see her now for months so don't mind really.

    Big shop wasn't too bad.

    Chap came out for wall and told us we needed to get surveyor out. So we did - that was £300/2 and not yet got structural engineer's bill! Got the damp proofing man coming out today so god knows how much that will be and then hopefully builder (if can get hold of him!) to give quote for repairs. But we do have to get it done. So just have to suck it up. London flat electrical test was £180 so paid that and now waiting on report (he said there were a couple of issues to agent) so lord only knows how much that will be! They have also had to do some works to a wall/re-plastering there so that is £204, plus gas safety check at £84. Thankfully I had put some money aside in a separate account for works to that property so able to pay for all of that (probs bar the electric works) from that cash.

    Today need to get the cat's food (£32 a bag as he is on a special diet as he's fat - but split by 2), food shop (don't need huge amounts but reckon will still be around £60-70/2) and OH wants to go out for a curry tonight (I am not drinking so should not be too bad) and we need petrol (so probs £20/2).

    I should have at least £150 left from this month's budget after today's spends so thinking will put that in the account I use for paying for the london property to go towards the costs there.

    Pay day today, but as we normally get paid on 20th I am running this month's budget from tomorrow. We don't have anything in diary for Feb other than a dinner out for one of OH's friends 40ths on 17th, and his nephew's birthday is in a couple of weeks (but think we will just give him a cheque for £30 as he'll get tons of presents from his friends and has just had a load of presents for xmas - think cash probably more useful) - so hoping that I can make it a frugal february!

    It just seems a long slog to be able to save any decent amounts. When in my old job I used to be able to save a massive chunk every month. I'm technically being paid the same now pro rata (though not in terms of cold hard cash, but now get pension, health insurance etc) though because I'm 4 days a week, clearly that knocks a significant amount off. But not sure I want to go FT (and not even sure there;s budget for me to do so).

    Have been asked to do some fee-earning work, a document review, for the next month or so. It's fine because when I interviewed for the job, it was agreed that if required, I'd help out from time to time on cases. But I will earn the firm half my yearly salary from this review, kind of makes me think they should give me a bit in return. But can't really raise it. I am a bit worried they might want me to work longer hours to get it done, which I don't want to do. I guess if they do I either say no, or I say yes but you have to pay me an hourly rate (a fee earner's hourly rate rather than the rate am being paid now) to do it.

    Do wish I could just say no sometimes.
    • coastalchick
    • By coastalchick 20th Jan 18, 9:29 AM
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    coastalchick
    Petrol was 20/2. Shopping was a bit more than expected - just over £83/2, but that was because there was stuff on offer that we use all the time (nature valley peanut butter bars - we each take one to work each day and they were half price so got 8 boxes!) so stocked up. Still have to get a roast chicken and some spinach - but that should be no more than a further £10/2. Cat food - £32.19/2.

    Didn't go for a curry last night - going to cinema this afternoon and then cinema afterwards. Cinema tickets booked yesterday so out of last month's budget, curry will be from this month's. I also naughtily spent £14.37 on 3 books from this month's budget.

    Ended up with £182.58 left from last month so whacked that into what I call the "house" account which pays for things/repairs to our house and to house in Tooting. After paying surveyor, and all the stuff for Tooting house (apart from whatever the works the electron has recommended) I should now have about £400 in there towards expenses. But probs going to have to ping a bit more over this month which means not putting as much into long term savings.

    Have knocked £250 off what I usually allow myself for spending on food, going out, clothes, toiletries etc this month to see if I can stick within a smaller budget. Already spent £14.37 of that on books and need some flat boots for work/general wear.

    Also - having some therapy at the moment (paid for by insurance thankfully) and we have really identified that I just don't have the right personality for law (i.e. horrid, cold, arrogant) and that is why I have really struggled in this career as there is always an internal conflict going on within me. I can't change now because, if we are going to have a family, the role I am in lends itself really well to that as can change my hours to suit, given no longer client facing. But, once any kids we have are in school, it may be possible (either if OH has been promoted by then, or by releasing some equity from my Tooting flat as conceivably it may only have 3 years left on mortgage by then) to take some time off and re-train as something else. Though may be 46/47 by then so query is it worth it. At least feel like have some options in future.
    • sauceoclock
    • By sauceoclock 22nd Jan 18, 2:58 PM
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    sauceoclock
    I had a similar experience in talking therapy, my personality is not well suited to finance and I do struggle with how cut throat my colleagues can seem at times. I can't compete with my workmates like they are able to!

    Hope you enjoyed the cinema!
    Loan: £3,600 £2,179.70
    Credit Card: £1,758.95 £1,433.95
    Goal Debt-Free Date: February 2019
    Rainy-Day £6,000: £760
    • coastalchick
    • By coastalchick 22nd Jan 18, 6:38 PM
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    • 462 Thanks
    coastalchick
    Thanks lovely - I think that is finance in general! Cinema wasn't bad thanks, film took a while to get going but was good in the end.

    Curry was £57.50/2 even though I wasn't drinking - OH had 2 large cobras at a cost of £5.50 each!!!! So expensive dinner out. Then despite only needing a chicken and spinach, we went nuts in m&s yesterday and ended up spending £23.13/2!!!!

    Today has been a NSD as took sandwiches and snacks to work. Was supposed to be meeting a friend for lunch tomorrow but she's messaged to say she has flu so has postponed - fine by me as means I can save!

    No plans all week which is fab! All meals from stores, though may just need a top up of milk at some point.

    Have a friend coming over friday night - not sure if she wants food yet (hoping she will eat with her kids) and then we are (currently) in all weekend.

    New books should arrive tomorrow so will keep me busy in the evenings!
    • coastalchick
    • By coastalchick 23rd Jan 18, 7:46 AM
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    • 462 Thanks
    coastalchick
    Been tasked with actual legal work at work (albeit only a document review) - 4500 documents (some several pages long). It's a bit annoying but we have lost someone and someone else gone on study leave and everyone else stacked covering, so there's no-one else. I've said it's fine as long as they are not expecting me to stay late/come in early etc. If they are, then they need to pay me overtime and as a fee earner instead of support staff. I'm going to earn them (despite the fact they've lowered my hourly rate by around a third of what it should be) half my annual salary for 16 days work (presuming that's how long it takes - might take longer) which, if it's normal hours, is fine, but if they want blood, sweat and guts to get it done quicker, means they will have to pay me more.

    Sadly, I can now see this becoming a regular occurrence because they've not planned staff cover very well for the next few months. If that happens, I do think that they will need to pay me at a fee earner's rate. They'll be charging me out at one.
    • sauceoclock
    • By sauceoclock 23rd Jan 18, 3:18 PM
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    sauceoclock
    It's a wonder how people can be so mean to one another in the workplace isn't it!

    Mm definitely sounds like they need to be upping your pay for lumping this review on you (extra hours or not!), I suppose it's up to them if they want you to do it like a bat out of hell or thoroughly in office hours!
    Loan: £3,600 £2,179.70
    Credit Card: £1,758.95 £1,433.95
    Goal Debt-Free Date: February 2019
    Rainy-Day £6,000: £760
    • coastalchick
    • By coastalchick 23rd Jan 18, 6:55 PM
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    coastalchick
    Yeah, I agree it is def finance industry - lots of egos as well!!!! If I could do something else which still allowed me to live the life I do now, I would. But baby plans are the focus right now and this job is ideal for having small kids, so must keep going.

    NSD today though we are low on petrol as have had to drive in and back every day so far due to weather and OH had to come back at lunchtime to see a builder.

    Got quote for electrics for tooting flat - £434 so nowhere near as bad as I thought (I thought it was going to have to be re-wired at a cost of thousands) so that's all good. I should be able to cover that out of money already in house account.
    • coastalchick
    • By coastalchick 24th Jan 18, 7:50 AM
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    • 462 Thanks
    coastalchick
    absolutely exhausted today and feel like not going in. Literally no energy. But I have to as the person who is supposed to be my admin assistant is off sick so muggins here will have to set up everything for the lunchtime lecture we have. Think this doc review is wiping me out.

    Plus side: we have a free sandwich lunch but also means I don't get a brain break today. That said, I need to get the CPD points in so just have to suck it up. Only 2 more days then 3 off
    • coastalchick
    • By coastalchick 24th Jan 18, 9:14 AM
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    coastalchick
    I've not gone in. Got ready etc but literally no energy. Just feel wiped out. So have stayed off and asked someone else to set up lecture. Think if stay off today I'll be ok for tomorrow whereas reckon if went in today, wouldn't get much done and then would be even worse tomorrow.

    So on sofa in pyjamas plus dressing gown and just going to rest up for today, keep hydrated and eat well.

    Will have to send OH to shops when he gets home - need milk, diet coke (I have 1 a day as a treat) and some decaf coffee. So won't be too much.

    Think might need to go back to bed soon. If can't sleep might watch anne of green gables in bed.
    • sauceoclock
    • By sauceoclock 24th Jan 18, 9:37 AM
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    sauceoclock
    Sorry to hear you aren't feeling good. Middle of the week slump teamed with not great weather can sometimes be enough to tempt me not to go in to work (though I do drag myself in because debt needs to be paid somehow!). Have a little snuggle up and hopefully you'll feel a bit better tomorrow like you say!
    Loan: £3,600 £2,179.70
    Credit Card: £1,758.95 £1,433.95
    Goal Debt-Free Date: February 2019
    Rainy-Day £6,000: £760
    • sauceoclock
    • By sauceoclock 25th Jan 18, 9:37 AM
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    sauceoclock
    Hope you're feeling better today! x
    Loan: £3,600 £2,179.70
    Credit Card: £1,758.95 £1,433.95
    Goal Debt-Free Date: February 2019
    Rainy-Day £6,000: £760
    • coastalchick
    • By coastalchick 26th Jan 18, 8:29 AM
    • 288 Posts
    • 462 Thanks
    coastalchick
    thanks sauce! I felt so much better yesterday so resting up was right thing to do. Went to work but did have a melt down - I've been asked to review 4500 docs and then client said I needed to look at other docs too which might well double it! Hoping it's not going to be more than another 3 weeks but could conceivably be longer. Had a moment when just felt it wasn't fair (as it's not really my job) and felt overwhelming but then pulled on my big girl pants and cracked on. Did make the day go quicker which is good. And no more until Tues now as in meetings all day monday.

    Spent £48/2 yesterday on a new baby gift for my cousin who has just had a little girl. It's called baby's first christmas tree and it's a little christmas tree in a pot which has a slate with baby's name/dob on it and idea is you bring it in every year and decorate it and it grows with the child. Just hope she likes it.

    Today will not be a NSD. Got to do big shop. As usual "we don't need much" but that doesn't mean anything!!! Will still end up around £80 I reckon! And we need petrol as have been driving to work and back all week due to weather. So probs £20/2. Might go for a walk this afternoon if weather holds. Should work on my book. Desperately want to get out of law but just can't motivate myself and just have no self confidence/belief any more!!!!

    But I am not at work. And that is a good thing. No longer going out with my friend tonight as her life is quite hectic at the moment so we've postponed which is good money wise. OH and I are treating selves to take away pizza tomorrow night as not out all weekend and he has one of his flying exams tomorrow so if he passes we will celebrate with pizza. But 2 pizzas and a salad (and they are best pizzas I've ever had) are only about £24/2 so much much cheaper than going out.

    But trying to be more frugal this month have cut my spending budget by £250 already and hoping to still have some of remaining budget left end of month to flick over to savings.
    • sauceoclock
    • By sauceoclock 26th Jan 18, 9:50 AM
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    sauceoclock
    Glad to hear you're feeling better! Sounds really rubbish at your work at the moment - I can relate the whole staff where I work are really demotivated as we’re apparently lumping all our office furniture about this afternoon to replace some carpet tiles over the weekend… Meanwhile company director has purposefully booked himself in to back to back meetings all afternoon to avoid it… Not very fair given when we all moved desks he did a similar thing. I obviously can’t lift heavy items in my condition at the moment and a few other staff members are not supposed to do heavy lifting either. It’s unbelievable when the office manager tells us they were given a quote for an agency to do it and said ‘oh no that’s okay we’ll do it’… There is no ‘we’ about it and they're just assuming we will all stay late on our Friday evenings! NOPE from me!

    The Christmas Tree sounds really lovely, do you mind me asking where you're getting it from as I have a pregnant pal who would love that as she's Christmas crazy!

    Pizza is my kryptonite I reckon I'd be model-thin if it wasn't for pizza!! How many more flying exams does your OH have?
    Loan: £3,600 £2,179.70
    Credit Card: £1,758.95 £1,433.95
    Goal Debt-Free Date: February 2019
    Rainy-Day £6,000: £760
    • coastalchick
    • By coastalchick 7th Feb 18, 9:23 AM
    • 288 Posts
    • 462 Thanks
    coastalchick
    Hey, sorry for lack of response - not been around for a while! Hope you didn't have to lift - that's so bad, staff should not be doing heavy lifting!!!! It's from a company called Gluttonous Gardener - they do loads of different stuff for all kinds of occasions - walnut trees, mulberry bushes etc etc. My ex bought my mum a fig tree once. They are beautifully wrapped in a crate too - just divine. OH did another exam at weekend so he now has 5 more to do. But he still has around 65 hours of flying to log so a long way to go yet and the weather is so poo at the moment he's not been up in the air for ages. Fingers crossed he gets up soon as he's really miserable about it.

    Has been a good month money wise at the moment, mainly because we've barely been out. I have just under 3/4 of my monthly budget (even though I reduced this month's budget by 250 to start with) left and only 13 days until pay day. We have 2 big shops to do in that time and we are going to take our nephew to a museum on saturday so that will be a cost (as he will also likely want cake and a milkshake after!) and then next weekend we are out for a friend's 40th for dinner so reckon that could be £60 a head or more but hoping to have around half my monthly budget left on pay day to throw into savings.

    Won't be able to save much, if anything, from this month's pay as we've had a quote for the wall - £2500 - better than budgeted for but still. We are getting another quote though so may be able to get that down a bit.

    Just trying best to be frugal where I can. But it's not easy!
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