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  • FIRST POST
    • JustFair
    • By JustFair 4th Jan 18, 1:25 PM
    • 13Posts
    • 4Thanks
    JustFair
    Is Child Maintenance enough?
    • #1
    • 4th Jan 18, 1:25 PM
    Is Child Maintenance enough? 4th Jan 18 at 1:25 PM
    Hi All,

    This post is to hopefully put me on the right track with something so I can decide how to tackle, Id be happy to hear your thoughts.

    I have been separated from my ex wife for nearly 3 years now, we have both found new partners and have an arrangement regarding payments for our children, and this is where the issue is!

    I currently pay my ex just over 580 a month (based on the CSA Calculation as agreed), I also support with large school uniform purchases and school trips. However, over the last 3 year my ex has constantly asked me for more money to help with my children's after school activities because she says she cant afford it. As you can imagine this is causing a problem with my currant partner.

    She has even started saying to my children that they can do things but only if I pay half, which puts me in an awful position where I either pay or be the one to stop them doing something whilst she can just sit back.

    Is it me or is she being unfair? Should I stand my ground and say no? I'm scared that she will try to turn my kids against me.

    What do you think? Please be honest?

    Thank you
Page 1
    • Comms69
    • By Comms69 4th Jan 18, 1:36 PM
    • 2,970 Posts
    • 2,939 Thanks
    Comms69
    • #2
    • 4th Jan 18, 1:36 PM
    • #2
    • 4th Jan 18, 1:36 PM
    Your payment should be for everything. - that's the theory behind it.


    13920 should be plenty for a share of food, utilities, rent etc and uniforms and activities.


    That's 1160 a month!


    Christmas, birthdays etc I might count separately, paying more especially on 'big' dates.
    • Darksparkle
    • By Darksparkle 4th Jan 18, 1:41 PM
    • 5,124 Posts
    • 3,326 Thanks
    Darksparkle
    • #3
    • 4th Jan 18, 1:41 PM
    • #3
    • 4th Jan 18, 1:41 PM
    If you!!!8217;re paying the csa amount then I see no reason to pay more for day to day things (which to me include classes/clubs etc).
    • JustFair
    • By JustFair 4th Jan 18, 1:50 PM
    • 13 Posts
    • 4 Thanks
    JustFair
    • #4
    • 4th Jan 18, 1:50 PM
    • #4
    • 4th Jan 18, 1:50 PM
    Thanks for the replies.

    Comms69 - Can I ask how you've got those numbers please?

    Darksparkle - Thank you

    Thank you
    • Comms69
    • By Comms69 4th Jan 18, 1:52 PM
    • 2,970 Posts
    • 2,939 Thanks
    Comms69
    • #5
    • 4th Jan 18, 1:52 PM
    • #5
    • 4th Jan 18, 1:52 PM
    Thanks for the replies.

    Comms69 - Can I ask how you've got those numbers please?

    Darksparkle - Thank you

    Thank you
    Originally posted by JustFair
    Both contributing equally?
    • JustFair
    • By JustFair 4th Jan 18, 1:53 PM
    • 13 Posts
    • 4 Thanks
    JustFair
    • #6
    • 4th Jan 18, 1:53 PM
    • #6
    • 4th Jan 18, 1:53 PM
    Both contributing equally?
    Originally posted by Comms69
    That is a fantastic point! I never looked at it that way. Thank you!
    • Money maker
    • By Money maker 4th Jan 18, 1:58 PM
    • 5,015 Posts
    • 11,399 Thanks
    Money maker
    • #7
    • 4th Jan 18, 1:58 PM
    • #7
    • 4th Jan 18, 1:58 PM
    Wow and my friend told me yesterday her ex isn't helping out with school shoes and so forth ... he pays 20 month.
    Please do not quote spam as this enables it to 'live on' once the spam post is removed.

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    Declutterers of the world - unite!
    • poppy12345
    • By poppy12345 4th Jan 18, 2:20 PM
    • 2,843 Posts
    • 2,806 Thanks
    poppy12345
    • #8
    • 4th Jan 18, 2:20 PM
    • #8
    • 4th Jan 18, 2:20 PM
    Wow 580 per month and your ex is asking for more? I personnally think she's extremely lucky that you pay that much! To ask for more is just plain greedy! My ex paid nothing!

    I'd know what i'd be telling her to do with her requests of more money! Words of which i wouldn't repeat on here.
    • JustFair
    • By JustFair 4th Jan 18, 2:42 PM
    • 13 Posts
    • 4 Thanks
    JustFair
    • #9
    • 4th Jan 18, 2:42 PM
    • #9
    • 4th Jan 18, 2:42 PM
    Wow 580 per month and your ex is asking for more? I personnally think she's extremely lucky that you pay that much! To ask for more is just plain greedy! My ex paid nothing!

    I'd know what i'd be telling her to do with her requests of more money! Words of which i wouldn't repeat on here.
    Originally posted by poppy12345
    Thank you. I will use my imagination on the words to be used
    • Diamandis
    • By Diamandis 4th Jan 18, 3:43 PM
    • 264 Posts
    • 428 Thanks
    Diamandis
    I would definitely expect her to pay for any clubs out of the amount you provide. Is it that she genuinely can't afford it? Does she not have her own income?
    • Mojisola
    • By Mojisola 4th Jan 18, 3:52 PM
    • 29,393 Posts
    • 75,045 Thanks
    Mojisola
    However, over the last 3 year my ex has constantly asked me for more money to help with my children's after school activities because she says she cant afford it. As you can imagine this is causing a problem with my currant partner.

    She has even started saying to my children that they can do things but only if I pay half, which puts me in an awful position where I either pay or be the one to stop them doing something whilst she can just sit back.
    Originally posted by JustFair
    The children of parents who still live together don't get to do all the clubs and trips that they want - money only just goes so far.

    Using the children in the way she doing is disgraceful.
    • paddedjohn
    • By paddedjohn 5th Jan 18, 11:36 AM
    • 7,153 Posts
    • 7,798 Thanks
    paddedjohn
    If your ex is on benefits then she will be entitled to child related benefits on top of your 580 as that is disregarded. Should be included in the calculations in my opinion.
    Be Alert..........Britain needs lerts.
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