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    • lessonlearned
    • By lessonlearned 1st Jan 18, 10:51 AM
    • 11,359Posts
    • 77,817Thanks
    Frump to Fab 2018 - Fabulous Dahhhhlings
    • #1
    • 1st Jan 18, 10:51 AM
    Frump to Fab 2018 - Fabulous Dahhhhlings 1st Jan 18 at 10:51 AM
    Good Morning my Lovelies.

    And welcome to the new bright and shiny Frump to Fab Thread.

    First of all a very big hello and welcome to everyone, newbies, lurkers and returners....and those undecided.

    Second let me wish you all “Happy New Year”.

    Let’s rock this one!!!!

    Well now where do we start this year. We have quite a history here now don’t we. I was thinking this morning about how the thread has developed so for the newbies......a brief potted history.

    A few years ago my son took a photo of me. I was horrified. I burst into tears. I could hardly believe my eyes at the image before me. we know the camera doesn’t lie and I couldn’t argue with what That image revealed.

    I went upstairs and stood in front of a full mirror and allowed the awful truth to sink in........never mind frump, I looked like a bag lady.

    In my was not down to laziness, far from it. I was caring for my semi Paralysed terminally ill husband. My days were full on with caring duties. I scarcely had a spare minute, it was all I could do to shower and brush my teeth sometimes.

    All very noble of course but I had completely neglected myself in the process. I had forgotten the simple golden rule........we cannot care for others if we don’t care for ourselves. We cannot give love, if we don’t treat ourselves with love.

    How many women forget this simple fact. In our busy lives as mothers, daughters, sisters how often to we put ourselves last on that never ending “to do list”.

    As I stood and looked in that mirror I realised the folly of my ways and I resolved to “do something”. I wasn’t sure what exactly but I knew I had to make a start somewhere.

    So I started the first Frump to Fab Thread and, as they say, the rest is history. What started as a simple diary to help me make the necessary changes to get me out of “Frumpdom” has become a wonderful friendship group of likeminded women.

    Yes some of us are of a certain age but not all. Frumpdom is not the preserve of the middle aged woman who has “let herself go”. Becoming a frump can happen to anyone, young women, even teenagers.

    But here’s the good news’s never too late to reverse the process, never too late to ditch the frump, never too late for the caterpillar to turn into a beautiful butterfly or for the ugly duckling to turn into a graceful and elegant swan.

    There are no rules to this thread except one.

    Kindness please........we don’t judge anyone here, we don’t get into futile pointless arguments, we don’t make nasty comments, we don’t indulge in sarcasm, we don’t bully others, we don’t play mind games and we don’t try to score points by making others feel small.

    So all that being said .....if you are ready to change your stars and become that alluring goddess you always longed to be, if you want to reclaim the energy and vitality that was once yours but has somehow disappeared then this is place for you.

    Let’s all get fabulous.

    Lesson no 1.

    Wear perfume, every day. Don’t save it for best. Get out all those unused smellies lurking in the back of the bathroom cabinet or bedside drawer and start using them.

    Smell divine......and fabulousity will follow. That’s a promise.

    A women who smells gorgeous is gorgeous. It’s the first step on your journey.

    Right I’m off to bathe in a sea of perfumed bubbles but first ..........

    This Forum tip was included in's weekly email!
    Last edited by Former MSE Andrea; 24-01-2018 at 9:02 AM.
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    • maman
    • By maman 11th Sep 18, 3:45 PM
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    Sorry to hear about the eczema TF and the stomach pains sugarbaby.

    At least it's getting cooler so covering your arms up won't be such an issue TF and it's good that the cream makes your skin soft.

    Does your son need a load of kitchen things and bedding sugarbaby? The shops seem to be full of things aimed at students at the moment. I think it's such an exciting time for them.

    Dancing again for me this evening. It's dull but dry here and still warm enough not to need tights. I'm hoping to hang on into next month if possible. I'm going to wear a cotton skirt tonight but in a dark colour so it won't look strange.

    It's my DH's birthday on Friday so we'll be out for several meals over the next week or so starting with lunch on Thursday. It's a strange time of the year for how to dress. I'll have to consult the weather forecast.
    • sugarbaby125
    • By sugarbaby125 11th Sep 18, 4:40 PM
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    Hello Ladies,

    Yes Maman he does need kitchen items and other items for University. I got a lot of items from Ikea in Croydon on Sunday at really inexpensive prices. It was not a positive experience for me walking around this vast store trying to find everything on my list. By the time I was going home I was in pain all over my body especially my back and shoulders. Some items were sold out, so I am going to look locally in Poundland and TK Maxx and hopefully I will then have everything he needs to start him off.

    I realised that I am even better at finding items at really competitive prices than I used to be, as I am spending a lot less on kitting out my son than I did when my daughter went off to University.

    Enjoy your dancing this evening.

    I hope you and your OH both enjoy celebrating his birthday together.
    • maman
    • By maman 12th Sep 18, 4:37 PM
    • 19,557 Posts
    • 116,945 Thanks
    No I certainly don't want orthopaedic shoes! Have reported the post as .

    Today I've ended up on a bit of a shopping spree.

    I went into the city centre to get my DH a birthday card as I couldn't find anything I liked locally. Plus I needed moisturiser and can only get my favourite Benefit brand at the cosmetics counters.

    I treated myself to:
    • knickers from Victoria's Secrets
    • A fine knit red jumper from Primark and
    • A really nice dress from Zara

    I won't be wearing it with a cap! I think it'll be useful for this time of the year and later on (as it's button through) I could wear leggings and a top underneath and leave it undone. I'll try it on again at home but I think it's a keeper.

    You certainly are great at finding bargains sugarbaby. Unfortunately, Ikea is designed to encourage shoppers to walk around as much of the store as possible. Sorry to hear that it left you in pain.
    • Toni'sfriend
    • By Toni'sfriend 13th Sep 18, 9:29 AM
    • 1,904 Posts
    • 19,107 Thanks
    I didn't really feel like fabbing when I got up yesterday but I made the effort and went to meet our friends. I am so glad I did. They commented on how nice I looked and that gave me a great boost.

    Having to avoid wearing perfume at the moment in case it aggravates the skin on my arms. I'm hoping that this will be a temporary state of affairs. I've got used to smelling fabulous!!
    • maman
    • By maman 13th Sep 18, 10:07 AM
    • 19,557 Posts
    • 116,945 Thanks
    I didn't really feel like fabbing when I got up yesterday but I made the effort and went to meet our friends. I am so glad I did. They commented on how nice I looked and that gave me a great boost.

    Having to avoid wearing perfume at the moment in case it aggravates the skin on my arms. I'm hoping that this will be a temporary state of affairs. I've got used to smelling fabulous!!
    Originally posted by Toni'sfriend

    Good for you TF! I know that primarily we are doing this for ourselves but it is good when others notice.

    It's been a bit chilly here this morning but it's brighter now that the sun is shining. We're out for lunch in a country pub so I think smart casual is called for. I think I'll probably wear smart black skinny jeans with a long sleeved top, probably my green White Stuff one. I'll stick to my black, sparkly Fitflops as very soon we'll be back into shoes and boots.
    • moneyistooshorttomention
    • By moneyistooshorttomention 13th Sep 18, 11:04 AM
    • 17,561 Posts
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    Did my first bit of serious clothes-buying since moving here.

    Been back on a visit to my home city and, whilst there, I had my little list in hand of the clothes etc I need that aren't "size dependant".

    So - main handbag needed replacing (ie black standard sorta size one). Re the price of it = don't ask. But I was surprised to see most handbags available seem to be plastic these days - which restricted my choice (as I buy leather ones) - and I had to reject a couple of those for having the strap made of more than one piece of leather. But - got one I'm happy with.

    Did buy a couple of size-dependant items - some nightdresses and I got bras for the size in between my "current size" and my "correct size" (ie one size smaller than current size) and one in my "correct size" (ie 2 sizes smaller than now). So I've got some bras ready to wear as the weight goes down.

    Pair of kneeboots - again had to look past plastic ones to find the leather ones I get. Another pair of boots - don't ask the price level - but they'll be very suitable for wearing where I'm living now (warm/mud-proof/very comfortable) calf ones.

    Some frivolous spending - 4 pairs of cheap costume jewellery earrings. I feel noticeable earrings are rather necessary for me with my short hair.

    I think I shall reckon on my clothes all getting bought during those visits. I've figured out that I need to look on the websites of "chain" shops I visit before I go and list what I think might be suitable for me/go into those shops when I go back and order & pay for the items I want if they're not in stock. They come in the next day/I try them on and then am still there in the city long enough to take them back for a refund if they're not right when trying them on. So - that's what I shall do for anything not there in "my" shops.

    Beauty-wise = I've been watching YouTube videos on styling short hair. So I bought two large round hairbrushes and some velcro rollers - so I can add "bounce" to my hair. Not quite sure what to use instead of hairspray (as I don't want to breathe in chemicals). Does anyone have a recipe for home-made "healthy" hair fixer spray/gel/whatever I can use instead of commercial hairspray please?
    • sugarbaby125
    • By sugarbaby125 13th Sep 18, 12:01 PM
    • 1,636 Posts
    • 11,162 Thanks
    Hello Ladies,

    My stomach is finally calming down. I am still experiencing some pain, but I am feeling so much better today.

    Well done on the fabbing TF. We do it for ourselves but it is a great feeling when we receive compliments for our efforts.

    Maman, it was my 1st visit to Ikea Croydon, so I was not aware of just how vast the store would be, or that I would have to traverse the whole store to access a checkout. I got some incredible bargains and now that my Arthritis has now calmed down again, the trip to Ikea was worth it.

    Money it sounds like you found yourself some nightwear, lingerie a handbag, jewellery and a pair of boots that are right for you. If they were affordable for you, then the cost per wear/use will be worth it to you.
    Last edited by sugarbaby125; 13-09-2018 at 11:32 PM.
    • moneyistooshorttomention
    • By moneyistooshorttomention 13th Sep 18, 12:50 PM
    • 17,561 Posts
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    I've long held to the "cost per wear" theory. It makes a lot of sense to me.

    I recently bought a few cheapie (ie £5 a go or thereabouts) teeshirts at cheap shops - just to do me until I'm back to correct weight. I'm certainly not going to spend much on "temporary" clothing. I've only worn one of those teeshirts 3 or 4 times and it's just gone in the wash - and it already looks a bit "bobbly" and like it needs replacing.

    Yep...those calf boots and the handbag were both not far short of £200 - but I reckon I'll get a lot of wear from them.

    I was sitting people-watching a couple of times recently and analysing to see what "lessons to learn" or "things to copy" from them. Then it struck me why a couple of people have commented to me over the years about A.N. Other we both know that "Their clothes aren't cheap...." and I thought "How can you tell?". Sitting there people-watching and daylight began to dawn at the visible difference in quality I could see on different people.

    Bring back the days when Marks & Spencers sold reasonable quality clothes. I remember when I bought a basic navy blazer type jacket from them MANY years ago and I think it can't have been that far short of £100. Go in there these days and I spotted ones in similar style - and I wouldn't even look at them personally - as I could see from feet away why they are now only about £30 from there. You could tell a mile off that they were very cheap fabric/cheaply cut/etc these days. Not quite sure how much inflation would have added to the cost in the time since - but I would have thought an equivalent quality one would now cost between £200-£300?? and personally I'd rather pay that and it would be in their former better quality.
    Last edited by moneyistooshorttomention; 13-09-2018 at 12:52 PM.
    • chanie
    • By chanie 14th Sep 18, 12:23 PM
    • 2,270 Posts
    • 12,313 Thanks
    Moneyistooshorttomention well done on your shopping spree. I agree, you can often tell when someone is in expensive clothing. About a year ago, I saw Pippa Middleton and even though she was wearing black trousers and a mac, you could tell her clothes were expensive. I think you can look good on a budget, but its more difficult.

    sugar I live not too far from the IKEA in Croydon and pop in little and often. There are lots of short cuts around the store to get you out quickly. For example, as you come up the stairs, turn right and go via the restaurant as this will cut out the showroom and lead you straight to the markethall. As you go into the markethall, turn left and there is a door leading to the end of the markethall, so you can go to the tills.
    Don't forget, if you get an IKEA family friend, they will give you free tea and coffee during the week. Plus a £5 voucher on your birthday.

    Speaking of birthdays, it was my birthday recently. I had a 'me' day, with some shopping and a couple of purchases with my birthday money, including some clothes and accessories. I didn't buy much, so I will keep the money until I see something I want. I may well save it for the big 4-0 next year and have a splurge.

    As well as by £5 IKEA vouchers, I also got a £5 voucher from the Body Shop and bought a body moisturiser. All in all, it was a nice day, but over too quickly.
    2019 savings on purchases £2758.63
    My spending diary - Spend Less, Live More - a spending diary
    • maman
    • By maman 14th Sep 18, 4:13 PM
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    • 116,945 Thanks
    There are lots of short cuts around the store to get you out quickly. For example, as you come up the stairs, turn right and go via the restaurant as this will cut out the showroom and lead you straight to the markethall. As you go into the markethall, turn left and there is a door leading to the end of the markethall, so you can go to the tills.
    Originally posted by chanie

    It's strange to read this. All the Ikea branches must be the same design as your instructions certainly work form my local store! I went there so often when we were putting a wall of Billy bookcases in the study that I learned the layout off by heart!

    Happy belated birthday chanie. I'm glad you got your ME day.

    It's my DH's birthday today and celebrations are in full swing. we went out for lunch yesterday with SIL and BIL. Tonight we're having dinner with our immediate family. Then Monday it starts again.

    I think I might wear my new dress from Zara tonight. I agree money that cost per wear is a great theory. I use it a lot so I might as well get one wear in tonight.
    • silvasava
    • By silvasava 14th Sep 18, 4:39 PM
    • 4,178 Posts
    • 66,653 Thanks
    Afternoon All.
    MTSM - well done you on your shopping sprees. I just admit like most of us I appreciate good quality clothing so I am a CS browser! Sometimes it's better to get a nice quality item from a CS rather than a cheap new one. Just picked up a pair of Per Una cut offs - really lovely heavy stretch denim with nice detailing. Over the years I've picked up some real bargains as I go for particular styles as I am tall - mainly classic I've also managed to get some nice shoes (LK Bennet/ Roland Cartier/Bally) so its well worth keeping an eye out. I have a weakness for leather jackets but being picky only the 'butter' leather! So far I've hooked a lovely red zipped one, a black Chanel style and two grey biker slant zip ones.
    Last edited by silvasava; 14-09-2018 at 5:47 PM.
    Small victories - sometimes they are all you can hope for but sometimes they are all you need - be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle
    • sugarbaby125
    • By sugarbaby125 15th Sep 18, 10:01 AM
    • 1,636 Posts
    • 11,162 Thanks
    Hello Ladies,

    Chanie, great to hear from you again. Belated birthday wishes. Thank you for the instructions on how to take shortcuts in Ikea Croydon. They will be so useful for my next visit to the store. I signed up for my card before I left to visit Ikea, so I wrote down my number and I got a small discount when I was paying for my items.

    How is your house fabbing coming along Chanie?

    Silva you have done very well in your local charity shops. It is a great way for yo to wear quality without having to spend ridiculous sums of money for high end brands.

    There are so many charity shops in South London, yet they do not have quality stock and their prices are not competitive enough for me to shop in them. I can always find the brands that I want in clothing, shoes, boots and handbags on eBay for a fraction of the retail price.

    My stomach is a lot better today but I still need to take it easy at home. It has been a painful and frustrating week for me, but at least I have been forced to rest and relax a lot more than I usually do. I have caught up on reading and TV programmes and films that I had recorded.
    • chanie
    • By chanie 16th Sep 18, 7:53 PM
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    • 12,313 Thanks
    Thanks for all your birthday messages.

    Sugar pleases your stomach is feeling better. Sometimes, an enforced rest is well needed.

    Maman happy birthday to your DH.

    Silva well done on your charity shop finds.

    Me and OH went to the Theatre to see see a show. We havent been to the Theatre in years, but I got some cheap tickets, which gave us the incentive to go. We are now thinking about taking the children to see a show like The Lion King.

    House fabbing is going slowly,but its all coming together. Since we started the works, we have identified lots of other things we would like to do around the house (the so called project creep), but we have had to be strict with ourselves due to time and money constraints. The only project creep we are going forward with is getting new lights throughout the house. We need some electric work done, so we thought we may as well make use of the electrician whilst they are here. Once the electrician has confirmed when he can come, we can order the flooring.

    Sugar I popped to Ikea today and was in and out within 1/2 hour. I had my £5 birthday voucher and wanted to spend it before I forgot and it expired.. I knew what I wanted, so there was no messing for me. Firstly, I wanted some drawer/shelf liners, so I went into the showroom and took a shortcut to the kitchen area where they were kept. I then doubled back on myself to the markethall for some drinking glasses. As they were nearish the entrance, i grabbed them and doubled back again to the shortcut to the tills. I was like an IKEA ninja. I think I will do a post on IKEA......
    Last edited by chanie; 16-09-2018 at 8:31 PM.
    2019 savings on purchases £2758.63
    My spending diary - Spend Less, Live More - a spending diary
    • savingfortomorrow
    • By savingfortomorrow 16th Sep 18, 8:44 PM
    • 623 Posts
    • 4,661 Thanks
    i have been very busy this week with a deep realization that i need to loose weight moved from the next week column to immediately. I could not fit into clothes i bought 2 years ago and enough is enough. I have started healthy eating in earnest and not fooling my self. wholefoods and loads of veg with a dash of common sense, it didnt go on overnight and alas will take time to move but the motivation is finally there now.

    i cut my hair and it is so much shorter than expected but looks healthier. It will be easier to manage as it was time for a change. I had a shocking amount of breakage. hopefully the shorter length will allow the breakage to seem to blend in better.
    • maman
    • By maman 16th Sep 18, 9:31 PM
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    Good luck with the weightloss sft . You're absolutely right that it didn't go on quickly so you need to be patient. I always think that you're better off taking a sensible, healthy approach because while crash diets can work it's better to go for a sustainable method that fits in long term with RL.

    I like your approach to Ikea chanie but I always make a detour before the tills to the bit where they sell off oddments. We've had some good buys there. Favourites are a bathrobe that DH loves and cream velvet cushions. Also carcases for Billy bookcases. It's always worth a look.

    Can't believe that the lovely weather continues. I was dancing again this afternoon and wore one of my sleeveless silk dresses. I did take a cardi but didn't need it. It's been a brilliant summer.
    • moneyistooshorttomention
    • By moneyistooshorttomention 17th Sep 18, 3:49 PM
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    Been sorting my wardrobe to see exactly what I've got - errr....rather a lot of pashminas for one thing

    Anyway - it's all now very logically organised and I can see exactly what I've got and what I can (or can't) fit into at the moment.

    It's been "one of those days" (make it two days) - with various hassles. But the biggest thing going on is my computer cutting out at regular intervals again. It's had spates of that ever since I moved here - come back Virgin all is forgiven (as that was the supplier I had before moving here) and it was so trouble-free compared to what I have here. I WILL get it sorted and "normal service" at some point (ie what I used to have).

    Meanwhile - what does everyone else do when they are having a "LIFE - damn nuisance - hassles and/or major problems" thing going on? I weakened and bought a bottle of wine today (only half bottle size - which I actually managed to find for once..). What do other people do when Life is "playing up" - instead of resorting to something that means "Calories" (ie that wine)? Suggestions welcome for alternatives - as the Bach Rescue Remedy wasnt cutting it this time...
    • Flo61
    • By Flo61 18th Sep 18, 8:30 AM
    • 76 Posts
    • 778 Thanks
    Iím having same problem. Not eaten chocolate for months but bought some for comfort over weekend. Last week i managed to cope by going back to researching my family history - something i had started before but abandoned. It is very absorbing once you get into it. Comforting in a different kind of way. Hope to continue this week and keep off chocolate...
    • maman
    • By maman 18th Sep 18, 9:59 AM
    • 19,557 Posts
    • 116,945 Thanks
    Definitely a wine person here money so I'm not much help!

    It's chilly, grey and windy here for the first time in months! It does promise to get warmer later but I think I might be wearing a coat today.

    I'm pleased to say that I'm gradually seeing off some products. The tub of conditioner (where the bottle wouldn't squeeze) is finished at last. I've got a tiny bit of Simple eye make up remover left and then I'll go over to wipes. The problem with that is that the cotton wool pads are really messy and fluffy. Would anyone recommend a brand that are firm and don't disintegrate?

    I finished the Kiko eye cream. I was happy enough with that but it wasn't much cheaper than the Clinique that I generally use and we don't have a branch locally. I buy my Clinique duty free when I can which is a bit more mse.

    Next, is to finish off some gift shower gels although I'll keep small packs for travelling. My current favourite is the Argan and Moroccan rose from Waitrose. It smells absolutely gorgeous.

    Hope LL is settling in and gets her broadband soon. She's been in her bungalow for a week already.
    • Toni'sfriend
    • By Toni'sfriend 18th Sep 18, 4:38 PM
    • 1,904 Posts
    • 19,107 Thanks
    Got my hair done today. Isn't it just the one thing that instantly makes you feel better?

    I've been keeping up with my daily routines but haven't been doing too much extra. Promised myself that I'll manicure my nails, take care of my feet, put on a face pack, etc this weekend.

    Eczema outbreak seems to be clearing up nicely but I think I'm going to have to be careful and keep an eye on my skin in case it happens again.

    Hope everyone is well.
    • humptydumptybits
    • By humptydumptybits 18th Sep 18, 6:26 PM
    • 2,367 Posts
    • 9,575 Thanks
    I'm hoping some of you ladies can give me some advice/help/suggestions. My DD is getting married next year. I've helped her with lots of the arrangements and the venue is booked, the cake and photographer sorted. She thinks she's found the dress! So I thought I'd have a look at some Mother of the Bride outfits and I feel so uninspired. If I do a search I seem to get either old lady outfits (bit like your gran's curtains) or things that look suitable for a teenager.

    I'm 65 and I spend my life in jeans/trousers and tops. I'm a 10/12 (well I am a 10 after losing some weight when I was ill a few months ago but maybe I will put a bit back on) soI feel it shouldn't be that hard.

    Any ideas? I know it is early but I'm starting to feel like I won't find anything.
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